Sir, I am married from last 9 yrs and having 2 sons of the age 8 yrs and 5yrs respectively. My problem is that I don’t have sound relations with my in-laws due to which I don’t have good relation with my husband. As they have thrown me out of their house for about 8 times and every time they get it done through my husband and he being the only son he always listens to his mother and sisters. Ours was an arrange marriage and he had an affair which broke, the reasons I don’t know. My husband is very much fond of having sex; I can tell you he cannot live without having sex for a longer period. But I had a clean past whereas my present and future seems to be in dark. As I am staying with my parents from last 1.5 years with my kids and due to this my brother’s marriage is not getting fixed. So I suffer from guilt for this, but he is very supportive and has advised me not to take a wrong decision as to moving to my husband who has not cared for us from so long. Now my husband has bought a house on our joint name and he keeps on sending messages through his friends but is not coming directly. 2mths back we had a quarrel on maintenance of kids and he asked for divorce which he does every time and then resolves by saying sorry. And I always forgive him unconditionally as he is my first love. But this time I am not willing to go back due to his nature and also I have come to know that he is having an affair with a girl. Please advise me what I should do 1) as I don’t want to stay with him as he ditched me and even if I return back there is no guaranty that he would stay nicely. 2) If I stay with my parents then my brother’s marriage would not get fixed and this might create problems in our relations as Brother and sister. What should I do as I cannot think of anything else and take out my frustration on my kids. I am confused between my heart and my brain. As my heart says I still love my husband, I cannot leave him and my brain says how can I even think of living with a person who tried to kill me by pressing my neck in front of my kids. There is no safety as such. What should I do??

If you are planning not to go back then you have to become self-sufficient. After you become financially independent, you can think of staying separately from your father’s house. If you are not a burden on your father or brother then your brother’s marriage will not have a hitch. If you cannot become financially independent then you should think of compromising or your parents have to arrange things in such a way that you can live independent life.