Sir.have been married for 10 months now. My husband & i were seeing each other for 2yrs before marriage. Had intimate physical relation,incuding oral sex and mastubrating together. SEX never. Now also we get excited but when it comes to penetration, i cant bear the all excited and wet during 4play but when it comes to penetration i tense up. have seen gynae. Says am normsl. Seen psychologist, says RELAX. I know all that. Also been told that this could be an effect of value syatems etc. Point is i know everything but implementation of relaxation etc is just not happening.Am a well qualified, open minded woman,but when it comes to relaxing during the most natural act of life, i aM UNSUCCESSFUL. Hubby is a loving and patient man.His opinion is that i dont care for sex, but then why do i get aroused at all. Please help me save my marriage

I think, you are having unconscious fear of penetration or of pain during the penetration. Almost 20 to 30 percent of women have this fear. I understand your anxiety over the issue but let me tell you very basic thing about the solutions of sexual problems. Get relaxed first, so far you remain tense your problem is going to worsen. Penetration can be more painful while you are tense as it causes spasms of vaginal muscles, unconsciously. .Second thing is you need to have patience because it may take some time and efforts from both of you. Your husband may start with his fingers or dilators (available in medical stores) and once you are comfortable, may attempt penetration (after days or weeks). He should not escape from working towards solution by saying he does not care for sex.You may take help of good romantic background music and/or some erotic movies to divert your attention from pain or fear of penetration. You may reduce your anxiety by dreaming up your excitement through imagination.