Respected Sir, I am a 30year old boy, well qualified and working in Mumbai. I still don’t have my own house in this city and I stay with my parents.6 month’s back we came to know about a girl from one of our relative for my marriage proposal. I saw her photo & details on mail and also replied her with my details. After 2 -3 days we started to send each other Hi- hello kind of mails and then gradually also started online chatting with each other. I along with my parents went to see and meet her after15days of initial contact. We didn’t give any reply officially but I was in touch with her through chatting & on telephone. We met 1st time unofficially for a movie. I had started loving her and so I proposed her. She said to give her parents an official acceptance. Actually her parents had forgotten because our family had not taken any initiative to reply them. On Valentines Day we spent a day together. Next day I along with my parents again went to meet her. We gave official acceptance and also invited them to come to our home. They also came one day and went away. Now along with the mediator person we decided to meet for a final discussion for which I and my would b fiancée were suppose to come. One day prior to this meeting I & my parents decided to ask some money as dowry to them. We wanted that instead of spending a huge amount of money , marriage should be done in simple manner & the money saved could be given to the couple as gift. On that day I & My fiancée met unofficially but I didn’t tell her that we are going to ask for money. After some time we met again at the meeting place. Initially her family members resisted to give money but finally agreed to give 50k and decision was taken to fix up a date, mostly in May. 2 days after this I met with My fiancée, she was worried about her parents, she said that she want to help her parents by giving them financial support by taking loan & then paying the installments (She is a working women).I said “You are free to do, I will not question about your salary after marriage” She also got convinced but while chatting I felt that she was not happy with what had happened. I also realized my fault that she is more important than Money to Me but I kept quiet because I thought now Elder people have taken decision then why should I again interfere into that. She stopped talking one day but I convinced her that ‘I will take the loan and give it to U which U can give it to your parents but this marriage should happen’ She was observing me and thought that I am only giving importance to money than her, actually she wanted that this marriage should not be done by involving dowry which I came to know later. I anyway convinced her and made her positive but now we still had not got any official reply from her parents. One day it came but it was negative, I asked her about that. She said that she had told her parents everything which happened in between us. Actually I feel this issue is mostly of miss-communication between her & me, between her parents & my parents. Because ultimately my parents were ready to forget that money, if they would have approached us with their difficulty. I thought more about the result (marrying her) rather that the ways or adjustments we have to do. Now the thing is that she is not picking my phone nor meeting me. I LOVE her very much & I have told my parents that I will marry her only. I don’t know how to get her back in my life. Please help me.

Any girl would not like that in-laws want money (Dowry) to accept her. One would interpret such demands as a materialistic attitude. She must have felt that you value money then her. You have insulted her in a way. Probably you have lost her because you could not stop your parents at the onset.