I must salute you for doing such a wonderful job .I am the regular reader of your news paper column, when I see your name in this website I made my mind to share my problem with you and get the solution. I am a 26 year married before two and half years back. I am well educated and well settled professionally but my wife has not even done her graduation in spite of my many requests. I got engaged after completing my 12th before getting married with her I have taken advice from many of my friends and relatives to break the engagement due to this educational mismatch but they advised me to accept her she will improve after getting married with me. I have tried a lot to make her active after our marriage but she accepted that this is not her cup of coffee. I feel awkward to introduce her before my friends. Meanwhile I met another girl suppose her name as N, initially N became my friend and I share my entire problem with her she shows sympathy towards me. I felt she is the one with whom I would like to spend my entire life. I proposed her initially she refused stating that if she will marry me my wife’s life will be spoiled and apart from this she will not be able to get respect from my home and society as she belongs to same caste but another society but after some days she came with a condition if my wife is happily ready to leave me then and then she will marry me. I told this to my wife she replied if I feel happier with N then she will leave me, N intent to meet my wife personally and want to ask her about this. Wherein also my wife repeat her statement to leave me but ask for little time. Now I and P both are in deep love, communicating everyday over phone and waiting for my divorce, one year passed like this and now N started feeling like my wife is not ready to leave me. Meanwhile my close friends and brother who are aware about this issue inform my parents, I have narrated the true story of my life to my parents. They initially made havoc but latter on accepted as both of us mutually decided to end our relationship. Problem occurred when my in-laws came to know about this, they are not ready to accept this ,so my wife changed her statement by giving excuse that her parents are not ready so she will stay with me only( I feel she doesn’t want to leave me). Now it is very difficult for me and N to live without each other then also we both feel if we get married without my wife’s will we might feel guilty rest of our life so she advised me to be passive and wait till she understands the seriousness of this issue. I am spending mechanical life with her. I fear that before she realizes N might get married with someone else as she also have a pressure from her parents ( she already rejected two good engagement offer due to me), I lost my prestige in our society as every one believes I want divorce as I have got another girl. My parents and brother are also telling me to make a compromise if she is not ready to leave me happily. But it is really very difficult for me to live with her and equally difficult to live without N. How can I tackle this issue?
Only thing you can do at this stage is talk to your in-laws and try to convince them. Otherwise wait as your lover said.