Hi! I am a 34 yrs old married woman, with two adorable kids and a very loving and caring husband………then where is the problem? Around 4 years back I met one of my old boyfriend, we have known each other for the past 14 years, this person is a very handsome and charming guy and a complete flirt, it started with good friendship, but turned into an intimate relationship soon, till I got into one I could never understand how people can cheat on their spouses. but once into it I could not make sense of anything…..he made me feel like princess and I got carried away, to an extent that we had a baby together……………now here is where things took a turn…he moved out of the city, while I was carrying and kept in touch with me which ever way he could….came over and met me a few times and was really sweet. we wanted a baby to make this relation more strong and he promised me that it would ground him for the whole life…..and put an end to his wild days with women. I totally believed him and he looked very convincing. But I got to know that once out of town, he started sleeping with women again. He confessed it to me but promised me that he would never do it again and to give him one last chance….a fool in love, and with a lot of thought agreed after a lot of persuasion…………..but somehow I could not get myself to accept what he did to me .so , I called up his wife and told her about his wild ways, thinking that will put all this to rest and will keep both of us away, but surprisingly that has made me feel so guilty and hurt. I want to set all this mess right. I love him a lot and probably wont be able to separate myself at the same time I don’t want to continue being infidel with my husband. I somehow know what is require to be done, but I just cant get myself doing it…………..I should leave him and be happy with my family, but how? Please guide me.

From your mail I can get an impression that you are an emotional woman with strong desire for love, care and affection. He showed it and you fell. Now that lust is over and you are back to the place where you were. I’m surprised that in spite of two adorable kid, loving husband and his cheating, you still love him!! You should feel guilty about cheating your loving husband and not about disclosing facts to wife of cheating lover. If you seriously want to come out of this then stop it immediately and be prepare to take any pain arise out of your break up. Do not ask me how, there is no how in such relations, you have to just do it. I know I might sound harsh to you but that is how it is.