Hi Dr. I am unable to take a decision in my life. Please help me. About Me: I am 24, am working as software engineer. I am in love with my college-mate since 4 years. He is also a software engineer, working in Chennai (he was working in Hyderabad; he changed his job to Chennai for my sake, as we planned to settle in Chennai). He loves me so much then I love him, we use to have many arguments, and still we understand each other and get convinced soon. We have a lot of hope that we will have a happy marriage life. However, the problem is my marriage. He is a Brahmin and I am a non-Brahmin (both are from middle-class orthodox family). Therefore, his parents not accept our love as this is an inter-cast and inter-language, inter-state. I broke my love to my father 3 years back, and he met my lover and said that he will arrange for marriage only even his parents accepts for our love. 3 years passed, I still did not turn back to my father regarding my love. Whenever he asks for marriage, I just postponed it saying some reason as career, visa, and onsite as such. But I feel my life is vague, I see most of my friend have a happy marriage life, but I still unable to turn up to my father for marriage, as the first question he will ask his whether his parents accepts for the marriage. Because of this, I mostly avoid talking to my father also, I was been very pet to my father from my childhood, but now a days because of my behaviour, I think he dislikes me and try to spend most of his time with my mother and my brother. I am possessive too. I love my father, and I would like to be close with him as before, but I don’t know whether he will like me or fully hates. My lover tried convincing his parents to the extreme, but that are not willing to accept our love, rather they say, as they are ready to leave their only son and asking him to marry me going away from his family. My lover is also willing to come out of his family and marry me, but I know he is also more attached to his parents, and so I don’t want to take him such a decision, as he is the only son to take care of his parents. This is the situation since 3 years, years passed, but still my problem wasn’t solved. Those days I did not have any indention to get married earlier, and so I waited for the solution. Now, I am feeling very lonely in spite of my lovable family and affectionate lover. I some times worry, whether I took wrong decision to fall in love, as I am hurting my parents and his parents and playing in my lover’s life. One thing I like to say is, we did not have any physical relation, but still we cannot live without each other. In addition, I cannot got against my parents, as I don’t want to create any bad name for them. I don’t know how I am going to explain my father regarding my situation, because I can also understand my father’s situation that he cannot arrange for marriage without my lover’s parents permission, as he will not be able to answer my relatives. This is the first time I have visited your website, and after reading your answers for others problem, I thought of writing to you. I am confused; I don’t know how to convince my lovers parents and my parents. However, one thing I am sure is, I want and I will marry him.