Hello sir, I love my girl friend very much, our relationship is 8 yrs old, but currently we are facing problems due to certain facts of life. Before being committed I used to watch porn movies and sites, read sex magazines, but were never so very desperate for sex, I used to believe that I am a 1 woman man. We were very happy with each other. there was possessiveness, there was trust and everything for a better relationship.2 yrs back I accessed GPRS over the mobile phone with the intension to make my sex life with my girlfriend more romantic and enjoyable, trying to learn new things and ideas, but at the same time I also slipped into this act by visiting certain sex sites, by watching clips and reading stories over the phone I used to enjoy, a time came where I myself thought that I am doing wrong and I should stop because it was hampering my attention towards my work and I also had a fear that if my partner knows of my act she will not feel good and that happened . She came to know about this from me only. Since then she started losing trust on me because I used to hide the things from her just to avoid the fights. We started fighting I used to defend myself by saying that I just saw the clips online, I never went to bed with any girl, and then why should you get so upset? My girl friend thinks too deep into the matters, which I think is a problem with her. I used to tell her to let things go, I admitted my fault by saying yes I have hurt you; it was my mistake to see the sites. but she didn’t get out of it instead she started losing trust on me, she thinks that I am liar because I had taken false swears to avoid the fights and defend myself, but at the end I admitted all my faults and started apologizing to her several times. I asked her to let go my faults but she could not. Actually we are into long distance relationship, but we used to be in touch over the phone almost 20 hours a day. I met her many a times and tried to sort out the problems and convince her, but as long as she is with me she feels relaxed and comfortable and normal like before. I feel that she is fine now, but the moment I move back to my work and go away from her she feels insecure and all the negative talks come back to her mind. Recently we have started discussing till late nights and end up fighting. She feels insecure for the future that I have done these things in past then I may tend to do the same things in future also. Inspite of my promising to her that I would never commit such mistakes again in my life, now she has started asking me questions like what is love and relationship. If I can watch nude girls over the net then in real life also I may tend to see because of my interest for watching nude girls, she says does a man need to have feelings while making sex with a girl? Or a man can sleep with any girl without the feelings. She thinks that men love for sex and girl’s sex for love. I mean such kind of deep thinking at times irritates me of her, she thinks a normal man can have sex with a girl if he finds her nude in front of him and if not then he would be interested to have sex but his conscious would stop him to do that, whereas a normal decent girl would not even think of sex rather she would get angry if she gets such a scenario. Sir, I get upset with such kinds of discussions and loose my temper, as if she doubts my character and we end up fighting. I use slang’s to her and really get depressed. I feel as if is it necessary to get into all this matter, I feel that she is being selfish by not thinking of me about my other commitments towards my life. She keeps pondering about this whole day she does nothing. I know by my heart that she loves me and I do love her, but the discussions make us feel like enemies, I advised her to divert her attention so that she can get normal but she can’t do that also. You only guide me sir what should I do. I feel helpless; I wish that I get my old days back when we were happy. Thank you.

You have lost her trust, now it will take time to reestablish her trust in you. Unfortunately you have given her reasons to be insecure and now that insecurity is worsening your relationship. To win her trust again, rather than reassuring her all the time you should be honest in your dealings with her. Over a period she will realize this. Do not go on doing long discussions on what you did or what you are going to do. Just let your attitude speak than your words.
She also needs to work on her insecurities.