Hello Dr, I really need somebody’s advice and who can be better than you can. I am 26 years old and got married before 2.5 years. I had a premarital affair with a person for 7-8 years. However, most of that period my x bf was cheating on me. I loved him immensely and at the same time, I was frustrated and sad about what he did to me. I loved him a lot even what he did to me… but I felt I could not marry him coz I never had the strength to tell my dad about it. I belong to a very rich family and he was from a lower middle class family. I was practically ready to face any financial situation. However, I did not wanted to hurt my parents and family so I never disclosed this to them. I sometimes feel my dad would have got me married off to him if I ever did tell him but… Even after 2.5 yrs of marriage, there has not been a single day without a thought of him. I know I can never go back to him, neither would I want to. However, that feeling of love is still burning in my heart. Not that I do not love my husband, who is a very nice person and I married him coz he loved me… I also told him about my past before marriage. My husband and I were 23 when we were engaged and so not all his family members were ready for our wedding. Even my father warned me coz my husband family is not as well to as my father is. In addition, my husband is pursuing his higher studies… My parents were backing off coz I have a step mother in law (she’s not good person.) but in spite of all that I told my dad that he’s the guy I want to marry.. My dad was okay with our relationship. Now I cannot forget my x love, but it never means that I want him back in life. However, we can be friends. ?? I can’t tell this to my husband. I love my husband as well. And I wont ever leave him for any1 else. Coz he is my life now. he has supported me all the way thru and I will stand by him always but then I am so confused with my past. I try not to call him and not talk to him for months but then after sometime I just cannot stop myself… My x has moved on with life. However, sometimes I feel ‘m still there where he left me. I know him doesn’t’t love me… but I can’t forget him. Deep in my heart I still love him … It has been almost 5-6 years I haven’t met him… things have changed tremendously since then. However, one thing has’t changed. The love I hold for him. If I had to choose some1 form my husband and him, I would definitely choose my husband. Then…. Y that soft corner, I still have for my x. even after what he did to me. He’s also indulged into other women’s now. Still a Casanova. I do not want him to be in my life. However, I love him with all my heart. What should I do? Please help me. Thank you in advance.

When you love a person very deeply, it is always difficult to drive him out of your memory. There is no point in remembering a person who has never made you feel loved. However, I know this sounds very theoretical. The best way to keep him out of your thought is, stop struggling to drive him out. Let him be there in your memory and time will do rest of the things. Only thing you really need to do is, never ever establish any kind of communication with him by any ways. Keep your love in corner of your heart and go ahead in life. Try to convince yourself that he never deserved your love and never meant for you. Do not keep on asking yourself that why you love him so deeply because you will never find an answer to it. It just happens without any reasons. The day you will realize this, is the day he will start fading from your memory.