Hello doctor…I really need your advice… I am 24 year old…the things I have in my mind is troubling a lot, I try to find lots of solution but it fails… The problem is started from my childhood…. My cousin sister who was 18 year old used my leg to relax their feelings. Then my cousin brother used me by putting their mouth. After that, I also saw my parents doing at nights. Then when I come to sixth class then I started to relax the body with the leg of my cousin sister. However, when I come to 10th or 11th class means when I realize its wrong then to stop all the feelings I get one way to use finger. then I totally stopped it but 2 years back… another cousin brother try to use me, I tried a lot to stop but he misbehaved with me, he was touched me in my different parts, I really feel embraced. actually I don’t have a real brother. I miss with him because I feel he’s my brother, I play, joke, everything to him, but he took in a very wrong way. and when he did first time I ignored and try to stop him with words, then by using hand and temper. However, on the other side I don’t want to loose the relationship. Once my uncle saw him doing all this but uncle told me that its yours responsibility to stop. After that incident occurred I am totally loose my heart. I am not coming out from all incidents that happened to me…. I feel I was wrong everywhere, why it is all happen to me. To come out from all these frustrations I again started relaxing my body through finger. I want to stop all these things. I want to know that what my fault is. I am very reserved and introvert kind of girl. Are these things causing me any kind of problem like aids? When I remind my past, I really want to die because I don’t want to live this kind of life. I don’t want to go any where. if sir, you having solution for me plz let me know……….

It is very unfortunate that you became a victim of child sexual abuse (known as pedophilia). This is sexually deviant behavior on offender’s part. Later on, you became victim of incest (sexual relations amongst blood relatives). As a child, you did not understand about sexual behavior therefore you should not feel guilty about it. Actually, offender should feel guilty. Victim of child abuse sometimes tries to abuse the child as an adult and that is what you also tried. You could have resisted your cousin’s attempts but you could not because of your insecurities and your love for him. Your uncle’s stand is unfortunate. He should have intervened. Your urge to masturbate is natural. Overall, you became victim of unfortunate incidences. As they were out of your control, you should not feel guilty or try finding your faults. No way, you are responsible for your past, just look foreword and think of settling down in your life. Prepare yourself to resist any such sexual harresment in future.