From your mail I can get an impression that you are an emotional woman with strong desire for love, care and affection. He showed it and you fell. Now that lust is over and you are back to the place where you were. I’m surprised that in spite of two adorable kid, loving husband and his cheating, you still love him!! You should feel guilty about cheating your loving husband and not about disclosing facts to wife of cheating lover. If you seriously want to come out of this then stop it immediately and be prepare to take any pain arise out of your break up. Do not ask me how, there is no how in such relations, you have to just do it. I know I might sound harsh to you but that is how it is.