Sir , I read your articles. I like them.I have confusion about obsessive compulsive disorder. I notice that I am little bit suffering from OCD. How to treat ?

Obsessive compulsive disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. You need to consult a psychiatrist for final diagnosis and treatment options available as per your case.

Sir,there was a boy who was friends with me since last 6 months,he was a security personnel and I m a doctor,he first proposed me on Facebook but I dint like him so rejected him, so he told me to be friends with him,but I developed some feelings for him as he proposed me thrice at least,still I refused as I was suspicious of him but recently I came to know he was already in a relation since 3 years and had breakup since 2 mnths now, I was friends with him since October , why did he play with me then, he even asked for financial help of 10k I gave it to him but didn’t get it back,I also came to know that this guy is flirting with other girls too,if he was in relation with that girl why did he flirt with me and with other girls,it seems he keeps on telling that he loves that girl whom he was in relation with for 3 years.Any ways all my feelings died for him since that day only wen I came to know about his character but I feel depressed thinking why he cheated on me, i want to forget him and move on plz advice.

It’s good that you have realised that you have been taken for a ride. At the same time,you should also realize that it’s not your fault but his flirty nature which is responsible for such a distrustful behaviour. It is unfortunate that you became his prey and you should not feel guilty for that. Remember the lesson learned, be mature and move on.

Sir , I read your articles. I like them.I have confusion about obsessive compulsive disorder. I notice that I am little bit suffering from OCD. How to treat ?

Obsessive compulsive disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. You need to consult a psychiatrist for final diagnosis and treatment options available as per your case.

I am 29 years old. I want to ask that if someone’s married life is very satisfactory then why does he go for extra marital affair. What is the reason behind it? And how can he get out if it?

Extra marital affairs have different dynamics for men and women. Women develop extra marital affairs for reasons; whereas men may not have one.It is man’s polygamous nature which may lead him to have such relationships without any reasons.Some of them may cite different reasons but it is difficult to say how much these reasons have actual impact on development of such relationships. Getting out of such relationship has only one way that is ‘self control’.

Sir, I am a big fan of yours.I have confusion about the following- I am engaged since 9 months,my fiance lives alone because of his job in an another city so he is not able to live with my in-laws.After marriage his mother wants me to live with them but as I have to continue my studies at the same city as that of my fiance,my parents told them that I would live with my husband in future. Since then my mother-in-law has stopped receiving my calls .Me and my fiancé are in a healthy relationship,but because of this behavior of his mother I have a confusion about to marry him or not? So what should I do?

First of all, you need to discuss this issue with your fiancé. If you have a unanimous thinking on staying together after marriage, both of you should go to your mother in law to discuss what you think as a couple.
Without resolving this issue,you cannot think of proceeding further into the relationship, because this type of conflict can be a source of disturbances in the future.

Hello sir, I’m in a big trouble. Actually I’m in a relationship with a guy and we both love each other a lot. We also decided to marry but the day I talked with him about my past that I was in a relationship with some other guy, he is totally lost. He is not eating, not caring what is going on and when he is with me he seems he is absent. I asked him to leave me or marry someone else but he responded that he would die without me . I don’t know what should I do, please suggest me.

It seems that he is not able to digest your past. Give him some time, so that possibly he can digest the same and get over it. Try to make him understand that if he has to accept you, he has to accept your past as well. Do not try to justify your past as he needs to accept it as a fact. Just in case; he is not able to get over this then you shouldn’t impose yourself on him.

Sir, I have question that how can I devote concentration at one time at one work? Actually from the last couple of months I can’t concentrate in my studies and part time work because I am always distracted with the social networking sites like facebook , watsapp etc. These all are I feel useless and waste of time but it is also on the other side necessary for some emergency!! I have a major doubt that I can’t control my emotions regarding these kind of social netwroking sites. I am very much in trouble, I didn’t know my emotions are conveyed to you or not!!! but I am in trouble and can’t find any solution !!

Distraction caused by social networking is very common now a days.It eats up lot of your time and attention. If you donot have control over an urge to look at it frequently, either you need to log out from that platform or set your privacy settings so that people cannot post or tag you. This can reduce your distraction if you are not keen on gossips or not full of curiosity to know what others are up to. If you are considering emergency messages as a necessity then you can have many other options like phone call or smses or less popular networks where the oppurtunity of distraction is low.
If i have to give one word solution to this then that word would be “self control”.

I am a 20 year old student, currently pursuing my 4th semester, 2nd year of graduation. I fell in love with a girl as I came in college, when I first saw her during the beginning of our 1st semester. I told a friend about her as I was a bit shy to start talking with her. He suggested me that there was nothing wrong and I started talking with her on facebook. I didn’t know anything about how to talk to girls. And on the first day of my chat with her I asked for her number. She obviously refused as she didn’t know me well. I used to chat with her daily and we came to know about each other quite well, and later we exchanged our numbers. She actually studied with me when I was in school, 1.5-2 years back. She was my batchmate (but not in my class). Surprisingly she told me that she had a crush on me at that time but not anymore. She told me about this guy in her class who proposed her at the very first when they met. He was a detained student and a senior. She refused his proposal. She used to tell me about him that he was a drunkard, smoker and had some other addictions also. But later, on the other hand she recognised that he was a protective person. She had a best friend from the previous school and he used to suggest or force her not to talk and be with this junkie. She didn’t agree with him and she and her friend had a rough chat with each other one day. When the junkie came to know that he abused him, he beat the guy right outside our college. I didn’t know that he abused this person as this girl didn’t tell me. Till then this girl, had an impression like “most of the boys have ditched her”. We used to meet casually at college as we had a full day college. I just met her along with her sister once on the friendship day for about an hour. Nothing unusual happened. I can realize now how dumb I was then.One day when we were sitting together in a bus, I proposed her. Hearing this she felt shy for about 2 minutes and hid her face with her hands. She was surprised, she told me that from our chatting she knew that I will propose her one day but didnt know that it would be like this. She refused me and told me that it was okay being just friends. When I told her that I loved her, I still remember the feeling that I literally felt in my heart. I was so afraid to convey this to her. And after I told her, she told me that she wished to hug me and I just held her hand for about 15-20 minutes as she didn’t want a relationship with me. I still remember this day. Coming to her best friend, she cried a lot for him even in the bus. She was going through bad days about her image in college. Some of her friends from the class along with the one who was detained and me, stood by her in the situation. When the situation became a bit cool I stopped talking with her for the first time saying that I needed a break. She asked me not to leave her like her other old best friends left her. I kept that in mind. But i was not able to stay mum for more than 3 to 4 days and started talking with her. But after these days I was not able to talk with her the way I used to talk before. Maybe because an old friend of mine (not from the college) judged this girl and told me she was not good for me. I was no good at that time judging people about how they were. After this break she was happy that I started talking with her and told me that she thought that I would probably never talk to her again. We then kept in touch for about 10-15 days and this thing which my friend judged about her kept striking every now and then in my mind. A big decision I had made again that I would not talk to her ever again. I told her the same that I was getting busy those days and need a break again. But for this time I kept a firm mind and didn’t even look at her till the current day. The second reason was she was too much impressed with the protective nature of the guy who proposed her before me. Before I stopped talking with her,she accepted his proposal and was now commited with him. So I felt it was nothing wrong staying away from her. She had someone whom she loved. I thought that they loved each other so much and so will never be aparted by anyone. Their group used to stay together all the time. They seemed like made for each other for lifetime. And I too was happy for her. She had such good and understanding friends unlike me who stood by her all the time. Coming to the present day, one of my classmates (and a best friend) who was also a friend of the one who ‘she’ loved, told me that he broke up with her. I asked him why and how did this happen, my friend told me that he was not sure but the boy is not talking with the group since a few days but talking and probably hanging out with some another girl.
I felt so sorry for this thing which I have done, I think if I would have been with her all the time ,this situation might be different. Not to be with her but for her good,not to hand her to these kind of guys. Their relationship lasted for about almost 2 years and they both aparted.
I want to ask should I apologize to her for not being by her side during her difficult days, for not being a best friend who I was, for not understanding her feelings for me as a friend and being a dumb fellow for that time……??

I don’t think your decision about this relationship is wrong. What I understand is, she was considering you as an emotional support, and probably never wanted you as her love. She made a choice of a protective guy over a guy who loves her. Now that the things have not worked out between them, for the reason best known to them, I don’t think that you should jump to play any role. She might come back to you or develop a feeling for you out of her multiple rejections, but in that case your future relationship will not be in a good test.

One is greater? Loved one or one who loved us. I love someone but he doesn’t and someone loves me but i don’t !

Love is about reciprocation. One, who doesn’t love you will not be able to reciprocate and you don’t love to other guy so you won’t be able to reciprocate. Therefore, any of these options will not work.
Theoretically, of course, one who loves you is important than other one.

i am 26 years old. last year i got married. condition 1 i do not love my wife because she is short in height. She is hardly 5 inch tall and i am 5.5’(love tall girl) but very cute and very much caring and loves me very much. when i went to see her for the first time along with my family i did not notice her height and i agreed to marry her. on the same day we got engaged. after some days i asked her to meet me alone(date). on the same day i realized that she is short in height and since then i have made up my mind that she is not the girl i was looking for. but i was late because our marriage was very close. Everything was planned and booked and also the matter of both family image in society. condition 2:- we got married but on the first night i also realized that she already had sex with someone before, after some days i also read an unusual msg from a guy on her whatsapp. condition 3: very critical. i have one elder brother he also got married 4 years ago. i started loving my bhabhi and my brother and my wife have doubts but not confirmed about my affair. I have done every thing with my bhabhi now i am scared about our family if it comes out our family will be destroyed. after my father passed away i am only responsible of our family because my Brother lives in dubai. i along with my bhabhi ,wife, mom & younger sis are living together condition 4:- if i talk to my wife, bhabhi will become angry. if i talk to my bhabhi, wife will become angry. i don,t understand what to do. i know i am wicked and bastard broke my brother trust. i want to die but cant because ther is nobody to take care of my family. please sir do let me know the solution of this situation. looking forward to have your reply soon.

Let us not get into who does what and why because that requires deep analysis. If you want to put an end to it you have to take your Bhabhi in to confidence. Talk to your Bhabhi about what both of you are heading to and explain that it’s time to behave sensibly for both of you. Self control over your behaviour is a key here. Try to accept your wife, spend quality time with her to create more intimacy. Prepare your Bhabhi to accept this by discussing consequences of reacting to your intimacy with your wife.