Sir my mother in-law is suffering from a unique problem for the last 12 years. The problem started when the elder brother of my father in-law died of a heart-attack in 1997. My mother in-law shocked with this incident and an unknown fear, suspicion, anger comes to her life. My father in-law and his brother were working in different region of this state and they built a building together in a small city and decided to live together there. But as the elder brother died the widow of elder brother not allows the younger brother family to stay in that building and advice them to renovate a servant quarter in the same complex and stay there. My father in-law is a very innocent and down to earth person. So he decided to renovate the servant quarter and turn it to a home and stayed there. But they always seem to be making a good relation with the elder family. As day passed my mother in-law started showing some unique behaviour like shouting at the widow, my father in-law for his foolishness and sometime it continues several hours like 10 hours 12 hours constantly. Last six years the senior members of the two families never visit each other. But only the children are maintaining the relations. My mother in-law always used to suspect my father in-law and never allow him to go out of her sight and continuously abusing him. But whenever any guest come to the house she becomes normal and so I come to know about her problem just last year when my father in-law weeping before me. He confessed that from the day he lost his brother he is living a life of hell and he just lives looking at the face of children. The main problem with my mother in-law is that she suspects her husband with anyone around from the opposite sex. And she forced him to confess anything she imagine and torture him. Due to this mental agony my wife never used to visit her parents and sometime she forcefully take her father to our home to stay few days. So please advise us how we can overcome this situation. Whom we should meet–a psychologist or a psychiatrist? Moreover we should have to visit the specialist without informing mother-in-law or she should not be aware of that she is taken to a psychologist, otherwise she would be angry.

She is suffering from Paranoid psychosis, probably Schizophrenia. Consult Psychiatrist nearby. You may go without her and seek advice for further steps.

Dear Sir, I want to know about “Nadi Dosh”. Usually in our Country, for marriage, people use to do match making and try to match kundli/horoscope of bride & groom. In that match making if “Nadi” of both comes the same (i.e. madhya-madhya or antya-antya) people refere it as “Nadi Dosh” and avoid to make that relation. It is believed that if that couple get married even if they have “Nadi Dosh” they will have problem in future to have child or they will have child late or will have child with some defect etc.This belief is based on Astrology point of view. I want to know the exact medical scientific reason behind this “Nadi Dosh”

Faith in Horoscope goes with your belief system. Except Hindus no one believes in horoscope matching for marriage and still life is on for them. I have seen numbers of couple with Nadi Dosh having normal healthy kids and without Nadi Dosh having no kids. It has no connection with medical science.

Sir, I am married for 1 year. Ours is a love marriage. My husband likes my parents and they like him too. He enjoys talking to my family and spends enough time with them. My problem is that he sometimes plays very filthy jokes on my parents. I know he doesnt mean them but I am badly hurt whenever he does that. He does so for his parents too, which again hurts me. I think, parents are meant to be respected and not insulted or joked up on. He pays full respect to my parents in their presence but makes some gross sexual comments when he is in mood with me. When I confront him, he says its just humor and he enjoys talking dirty at times and that these are bedroom jokes. He says his previous girl friend used to enjoy such jokes and they both used to make fun of each-other’s parents and that she never made big deal of it unlike me. Do you think I blow the matter out of proportion when I get angry or shout at him when he passes such remarks on my parents? I never say anything bad to his parents. In fact, I am always taught that parents are equal to God. Sometimes, I feel like divorcing him because it gives me a lot of pain to see that I am in love with a man who makes jokes on parents. Be it his or mine. Out of all the things in the world, he chooses parents to create bedroom jokes! plz suggest.

Giving respect to someone (as a part of social customs) and having respect for someone (from inner core of your heart) is different. Respect for the parents is a learned behaviour. You learn it from your parents, just by observing them treating their parents. So cracking jokes on them has different meaning for both of you. For you it is sensitive issue and for him it is just a fun! Previous girl friend might be enjoying such jokes, as her upbringing, value system and like-dislike must be different then you. It does not mean that you should also enjoy it. 
Make him very clear that he is hurting you by this habit and you really mean it. Convey him clearly that it is serious issue for you and you want him to stop that. Give him some time to improve; any sensible man would surely improve.

My friend who is 32 years old got married two years back. His married life was running good. but now he is facing a problem of quick fall. He is in big problem

Your friend is suffering from Premature Ejaculation, which is most common male sexual dysfunction. Just browse through this site, I have described measures to get over this problem.

Hello doctor. My age is 23. I am very lean and have low weight. All of my family members are smart and well built. I am very much tensed because of this. I also feel very weak. I masturbate a lot. Is this the reason I am very lean? My friends say if a person masturbates a lot, he becomes lean. Is this true? Please advice me how to put on weight.

Masturbation is normal physiological act. It has no relation with weight. Masturbation never causes weight loss. To increase your weight you should take healthy balance diet, exercise regularly (more of weight training then aerobics) and learn to relax. Worries regarding weight will prevent weight alteration. You may consult Physician to rule out medical conditions like Hyperthyroidism, Anxiety Neurosis etc.

I have two girl friends. One is P whom I like and have a close bonding. But she likes someone else. Second is R, who likes me but I have lose bonding with her. P hates R and my any relation ship with R. what should I do to maintain both relationships with peace and harmony??

You cannot expect peace and harmony while trying to ride two horses at a time. P shows possession for you and has liking for someone else, this is not done. If you have to commit, commit to someone who loves you and not to one whom you love.

I have studied in 5 different schools from different cites. Due to which I don’t have many close friends. One friend I have is married in Germany and I don’t want to talk to her about my problems as I don’t want her to get too judgmental. I am a native of Kolkata and after a love marriage I am settled here as well. My problem is that I don’t have any friends I can confide in. I have a whole lot of issues to talk about but no one to guide me through. There are times I need a second thought and those times I can’t turn to anyone. Please help. Should I go and see a psychiatrist in my own city. Please suggest someone.

It is a good idea to see a psychiatrist. Dr.Uday Chaudhary and Dr. Amitabh Mukherjee are amongst the best as per my opinion. You can find out their number from talking yellow pages.

Hi, I am a married female for the last 14 yrs. we both are happy. Few years back I started going online and started talking to males. In real I was quiet and shy before coming to world of chatting. Slowly I got addicted to chatting. Two years back I met (online) a male from Kolkata living in UAE. I am a Muslim Pakistani woman. He is Hindu Indian married male for the last 24 years. He is 46 and so is his wife. Now problem is that he used to pamper me a lot. He used to ring me up every day. He used to send me sms. We shared our pasts too. He has some fantasies .he used to share with me. But never told me that these all are his fantasies. I met him personally in UAE. We both felt good meeting each others. He then started asking me and my husband to apply for some job in UAE. He helped us. Now when dreams are going to happen in real, I mean my husband got a job in UAE and we are planning to move to UAE he is totally changed. He is telling me again and again how much he loves his wife. Now he is running away from me, telling me immature. He is saying dreams and reality are separate. We should not mix them. But seriously he never ever told me that all he said was his dreams. I’m very depressed all these days because of his changed behaviour. He says he won’t meet us. And suppose if they will meet us he will not talk to me. They will be just casual friends. He does not want any extramarital affair in real now. Last year when we met we were physical too. I don’t understand what is bothering him now? Why he is running away now? What should I say or do? I’m so feeling really down and unable to understand why he is behaving like that? Now when the dreams are just becoming reality what frightens him? Before that he was forcing us to move to UAE. He searched jobs for us and talked to concerned people. Can u please guide me in this case? What should I say or do? How can we fix things? Or should I give up?

I think he is not ready to disturb his own life. So far you were away, he was enjoying the relation but once you are physically around his responsibility is going to increase and he may not be ready for that. Why he helped you to come to UAE is seems to be mystery, probably he might just wanted to please you but would have never thought seriously that this will work out. Now that it has worked out, against his expectation, he is running away because of above said reasons. You should continue going to UAE, not for him but if work and future scope is worth.