Today some how I manage to share my problems with u n I hope you can guide me in the best way. It is a very unusual love story please read the whole mail I know you must be getting bore to see such a long mail. Well, I came here 4 years back to make my career. I am law graduate my best friend’s brother brought me here. He offer me to work with him in Delhi, I was practicing in court in my home town. I was not satisfied there it is a small town, than I decided to join his company in Delhi. After couple of months his attitude was different towards me. I was not aware what was there in his mind but little I understood his body language. But I didn’t care much. I was so desperate during that time I was ready to do anything for my career, he is very good man he said initially u work in Delhi to gather work experience, than I will send u to Europe. I started working, and he used to visit Delhi once in a month because we are form same place, sometime we used to meet for movie, used to go out for dinner. Than he started changing his attitude towards me like if I used to go out with my male friends than he used to keep eye on me I was not aware of all this and one day he suddenly came to my place and started fighting with me, coz I was going around with one guy, he couldn’t tolerate that he said, we had a really big fight and that day he confess me everything. .He is married man of 42 and I am 30 we are family friends I have a very good relationship with his wife n children, he is married for last 17 years having 2 kids of age 16 boy n 10 g. But somehow I got involve with him physically and today I really love him from the core of my heart it’s been 4 n half years. He has provided me all the comfort and yes he too loves me more than I do. Till today no one knows about our relationship except her sister my friend, but she didn’t accept it now we are no friends anymore. Every one knows from my family that I working for him and same at his place we live in Delhi as husband and wife everyone knows here he comes every month for 15 to 20 days he takes care of everything. I love him a lot now. I can not live without him, sometime I forget that he is married, it’s a really big problem my parents wants me to get settled down but I am already leading a married life, I have no interest in other man we both accept each other as husband and wife, now I would like to request you to guide me, I am really so confused ,he says that we will have a good future but not in India ,he is planning to send me to Europe soon to settled there so that we can continue our relationship and also to have our kids .He will never leave his 1st wife and kids I can not even say so but at the same time I love my parents too. u know I came with him just for the sake of my family. When I say do you think this way we can survive in this relationship? How long we can hide from our people, the day they will come to know what will happen. Than he says will cross the bridge when it come don’t take tension but I know he loves me truly like anything he can not live without me I know that ,he says I am his lucky mascot for him. so love guru this is the problem. You just tell me and guide me I will follow the same. And advice me in a very practical way if I want continue this relationship than so you think this is it possible? I am so glad that I share my feelings with you today. I can not tell you how good and light I am feeling. You are the right person who can only help me to decide for my future. Hope to hear from you soon if not than I will think it’s my bad luck.

It is never boring for me to go through long details of people’s relationship issues; in fact that’s my work.
If you are going with him then you are accepting to stay as a second. You must be aware about your status as a second. Legally you can not get any rights as a wife. Do not think of today, think of 10 years after. Where you and your status will stand (financial, social, personal etc.)? His regular visits to you are going to decrease as he will grow older, while your need for companionship is going to increase with age. His insecurities in the relationship are going to increase with a time as you are 12 years younger to him. Your parent will surely take this as a shock and later they know more shocking it will be. Moreover, you should be absolutely clear on your financial securities (should be equal to his wife); you do not have to go to him every time begging for your share. It may sound mean to you at present but believe me this emerges as one of the major issue in such relationship as time goes. He has to understand that he is having two families and has to do equal for them. Men’s Attitude in such type of relationship can change any time, so you should be prepared to face that and able to live in that insecurities.
  

Dear Sir, My problem is that whenever I do any activity I check it for 3-4 times. for example, When I do Lock or powered Off Eletrical Switch or Close Water nobe or do any mathematical calculation etc. I check it 3-4 times. I know that I did it correctly however I check again and again. Please provide me the solution.

These are symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, mental illness due to chemical (called serotonin) disturbances in brain. You need to consult Psychiatrist for the treatment. There are medicines, which can correct Serotonin imbalance. He will prescribe them.

I have been married since one and a half year and we are blessed with a 5 months old boy. I am working. It was an arranged marriage and for three months things were going smooth. Since the time I got pregnant I became over sensitive and moody. I was also advised bed rest so could not work even after staying home. My in laws cared for me but I and my husband started fighting very frequently. He could not understand my behaviour though I told him that these things happen during pregnancy. Things got worse. His parents called my parents and started complaining about me like I don’t work or I stay aloof and the home atmosphere and their health is getting disturbed because of me. I didn’t get any emotional support from my husband. He is the only child and is too attached to his parents. He could never bring me up to their level. Things were up and down. When we had the baby I was not allowed to go to my parents for 3 months because according to them it was very cold. The day when I was supposed to go my parents, I and my husband fought and they called my parents. I stayed at my parents for 1and a half month. My husband neither came to meet us nor even called for 15 days. I only initiated talking and went back. I am with them since last 15 days. Now I started working again. I tried to recover and am working very hard to please everybody. I am working on my toes since morning to evening, managing work, baby and house also. Everything is superficially fine but my husband is too cold and formal towards me. We didn’t have relation for last one year. He seems to be not interested. I feel unwanted and insecure. Tried telling him but he says he has some issues in job front and needs some time to come back but I am loosing patience. Firstly he doesn’t have time for me and secondly whenever I try communicating with him, he reacts. I fear that he is absent in my life now and probably when he wants to come back it will be too late. Secondly I am exerting so much to please my in laws that my health will suffer badly. But I can’t demand a maid because they are completely against the concept of keeping maid. How should I please my husband and in laws without getting physically and mentally affected? Thirdly my father in law is asking me to contribute money for the house without letting my husband know. He says that his son will not ask for money as you have ego issues and he shall only tell him at the right time. What should I do?

It is unfortunate that they could not understand and support you during your pregnancy. Give some more time to your husband. Do not go out of the way to please him or his parents, otherwise they would demand more attention. Fulfill your duties honestly without seeking their appreciation and wait for some more time. I do not think you can do anything more than this at present. There is nothing wrong in contributing financially but your husband should be aware about it. If he has ego problem as said by your father in law then you tell him that you want to contribute by your own wish but at least he should be aware.

Dear Sir, I am a 25 yrs age guy. I am in love with a girl of age 21.we had this relationship since last 6 months. We both met online. I have not seen her until one month of our relationship. We both felt love for each other without meeting each other as person. I got photo in profile. She hadn’t. But we loved each other by our natures which are very common to each other. We had other liking things as common. In one month, we talked over phone like 5/6 hours a day. Then we met in person. n liked each other a lot. In this relationship, she was always taking initiative. However, I responded well, as I felt the same for her. I am bit shy person. After wards, we talked over phone almost all-night. n msg each other endlessly. Our talks range from our families, friends, love and even physical intimacies. She was just so much caring used to know what is going on every minute of my life. This is my first relationship. First for her also. I never hide any secret like my disturbed career. as I was studying engineering and quit for my health issue, then joined in science graduation I am in 3rd year now. She is also studying final year engineering. She is a good student than me. But these things never came before us. She is very much conscious about her career and towards me also. We are committed to each other. She and I, we both are quite family person. Who love their family as well. She guided me lot in my career things. She came when I was so down. She liked me for my sense of maturity and sensibility. She is quite childish at times but very much affectionate. she never loose any chance of showing her affection and love to me. She is the person I always wanted. It is true for her, I think. Later when her exam and campus drive time started, she began to loose contact with me. But I didn’t mind and tried to support her mentally. But she usually doesn’t talk more about her problems because she thinks it will burden me. Now she didn’t got selected in any campus selection. Therefore, she is disturbed. And I am someone who can’t think of a job so soon. I want go for mba afterwards. I am not settled. Now her examinations are over. But suddenly she started being very cold from last 20 days. She is still caring. She is not expressing her love to me. Not wanted to know what is going on every time in my life. But I keep on expressing it as I feel for her. Now before 3/4 days she said she is engaged to somebody not formally though. One proposal came for her. n that family is interested. And she is just tongue tied to tell her parents about me. As I am not settled n not in good condition in mine career. Moreover, her family dint asked her because they take her granted. Last Sunday they had family get together. she also belongs to a higher caste than me which is not a matter for her or me but for her family it is. As status, my family is not less than she is. But as we both committed to our family as well. That is creating problem. Now for my side there is no problem and I can manage later. But she can’t afford to say about me as she also didn’t got a job and depending on them. And staying in home. As far as I know that guy family is not interested for marriage so soon. But they liked her so families started to get committed. Her situation is very bad as she can’t leave me nor She can fight with the family so soon. And I can’t do anything. But I can’t afford to loose her. She is the one I always wanted. And I can’t think of anybody else in my life. We Both r very negative thinkers. And get frightened so soon. We are still touch with each other, which is obvious. But I can find she is not that interested to talk to me. She is doing this like her duty. And her warmth is all missing. We met with each other four times during our relationship. W e both get physically intimate with each other but not gone physical. Now she also avoids meeting me. I know she is all down not doing anything properly always tensed and in tears. But not telling her feelings to me more. Of late just she said you please don’t disturb your career over me at least if you get anybody else for your life then at least you can make her happy. Yet also saying that her engagement can also break. I am just so confused about her behaviour. As I can’t meet her or see her as person. Only medium is the phone. Today is my birthday. And she called me in time n wished me coldly like wishing to a friend. And before one month she got a huge planning for this day. Now he even dint met me. We used to talk like 5/6 minutes a day. n mostly other topics which is not that important these days. I am very emotional person and she is as well. I am breaking day by day, as she is getting negative. n now she is getting more silent. When I call I mostly talk and she listens. and her talks are negative and most of the time I am feeling like she is hiding things. As she never use to. I sometimes feel like it will not hamper her if she looses me. But I will break into pieces. She is such a loving person. And I always crave for that. She made happen so much positive thing to happen my life. And also guided me in my family issues like a family person. Please help. i cant live without her and nobody can take her place in my life. and she knows it well.

First, you have to find out that why she is behaving in a negative way. There are few possibilities.  She might be under the pressure of her family. She herself might have lost the hope and accepted her fate. She might be depressed (suffering from Depression). You should ask her about this. You should show your willingness to meet her parents (you can discuss your future plan with them even though you do not have job at present) or suggest her to create mediator, whom she can trust.  If nothing works out, prepare yourself to accept the reality.

I dialed a wrong no. A girl picks up d phone, I asked her “is Sharon there?” she said no, and then I impressed her with my 99-1% theory of boys, that 99% of boys are like this and all that stuff. In addition, she told me to call after an hour. We talked further and the same night she confessed love. “GENUINELY”. For a week, we flocked together until we split. {No sex}.exactly 5 days later my friend called her. Moreover, she again confessed love to him “genuinely”.Now it has been a year that they are into a relationship and love each other. now my questions to u r.. 1. WAS HER LOVE GENUINE. 2. COULD YOU EXPLAIN THIS PSYCHE OF WOMEN?

It is her psyche not a psyche of women. All women will not do like this.
Genuineness of her love is difficult to judge from this short description. Committing to another person within 5 days of separation is something against genuineness.   

Hello Sir, I am 30 and my wife is 29. We get married on March 2009, and because of some birth problems she got aborted in last week. From the starting days of our marriage she is asking for a child and after the abortion also she needs a child urgently she is not ready to maintain a gap of 1 year or 6 month. And every day because of certain reasons we start fighting and after she starts crying. As character wise she is very lazy she do all the work in the home and she is no interested to go for job she watches films and serials in TV.

I think she is suffering from Depression. Consult Psychiatrist nearby. Avoid pregnancy for at least 6 months otherwise chances of abortion is high.

I have passed 12th this year and I observe that I feel more comfortable in the company of children much junior to me. This has been going on since more than 2-3years. Now I feel uncomfortable in interacting with teachers, parents, grandparents. When I meet strangers I cannot talk for long.

Please let me know about your educational performance up till now. Low intelligence and social phobia are amongst the important causes of this.

Hello sir. I am married for last 6 years .I have a son. I am happy with my married life. The problem is that my husband comes home by 11 at night and by that time I feel like going to sleep and wait for him to come near me, but he satisfies himself by watching adult movies. We also fight because of this. We don’t have any physical relation since months. And he is not able to quit smoking, which I hate the most. Please guide me to solve this problem.

Mutual respect in your relationship seems to be missing. He doesn’t care about your needs as he satisfies himself (and not bothered about your’s) and does not free himself from vices which you hate. When you do not have healthy sexual life, how come you feel that you are happy in your married life? Is it that that you do not want to accept the problem or you also taking things for granted like your husband?! I think this type of attitude have deep routes, which need to be explored and addressed.  You should go for couple counseling.