We have recently shifted to Delhi in a very small house having two small bed rooms. I have my elder brother, my mom and pa in my family. My mom and pa are sleeping in one bedroom and my brother and myself sleeping in a single bed in another room. One day when I was preparing for my test in the night. I noticed erected penis of my brother which was coming out from the dhoti he used to wear. His penis was so large and attractive I could not stop myself touching it. I was so fascinated with it. I took his penis in my vagina. Since then we are daily having sex with each other without the knowledge of our parents. But love to have sex with him, but worried about thinking my future life when I would get married. You are requested to please advise what to do. Will my future husband able to find out the truth. I have no regret as far as our relationship is concerned the only fear is my marriage life. Please advice.

He may come to know from the way you respond during the sexual act with him as experienced female would respond differently than novice one, provided he is smart enough and also experienced.

I am 24yrs old girl having responsibility of family as my father expired before 11yrs. I am working from 10th std. First I was alone fighting with the situation now I bought a flat for my family with very hard struggle I have some financial crises. Then I was 18 yr old I met a boy by chat and we became good friends, after that we fall in love he was perfect as my dream man but he was not ready for marriage as his other friends were talking bad things about me. But I am not like that, during this relation I met another boy who was earning good matured and wants to marry me. I left 1st one for this guy as I was in need of companion. But this person was over possessive and once he saw me with 1st one so he started doubting on me and spoil the sweetness of relationship. He got married with someone else still he was having relation with me, 1st one also get engaged now. But the 2nd one is now leaving his wife and 2yr old son as his marriage life is not happier as per him its because of me as he already told his wife about me. Now he is taking my responsibilities and all that but I m not happy we had physical relations from long time but if I denied for relation he start saying that I have options that’s why I am refusing. My family circle is not so big so not getting good offers from my caste even I am an MBA, good looking and smart as per all my friends. Before few days I met that 1st boy and he suggested me that u get married and make your mom tension free but still I wish that he marries me. When I asked about his engage meant he changed the topic and is not ready to discuss but till today he is as usual trying to make me happy even by phone or little bit talks. He wants to meet me but I m ignoring him. 1st one is playing good role by giving me respect love happiness and all that but nothing about future as he is not clearly saying and 2nd one wants to marry me after his divorce and he is taking good part in responsibilities but my happiness my freedom and all that he doesn’t care he wan that I live as per his instructions. for example I wish to go for trip with office staff but he is not allowing he force me to switch off my cell after office and all that makes me disturb as its not a way of good life. My boss is really caring and he start liking me as I am the best in all my responsibilities, I am the girl who is suffering lot in my life still never complaint and all that. He loves me and wishing that I get marry soon with someone and live happily. I rejected one offer from a colleague who loved me blindly and after my rejection he got engaged. Right now I am very much disturb and fed up from my life I know future will be better but for that I have to take some change in my life, in job I am not getting better place and opportunity even I am doing better than also. All are praising but not promoting me. It’s called bad luck or what? From childhood I had seen quarrels of my parents, then death of my father, responsibilities and now burden of brothers study, family responsibilities and other problems like above. Please guide what to do?

It is unfortunate that you had to face so much from a very young age; naturally you would feel tiered and frustrated. You concentrate on your career and can also take some part time course which may help in your job and promotions. About the relationships that you have asked in that you need to stop any relationship that are emotionally exploiting and wherein you know that there is no future. Further make an effort to find a suitable partner from fresh.

I got married with a person who is 14 years older than me. I got married on 2003. From six years I am trying to make understand my husband I want some attention. Please try to give me that, but he always ignores me, and tries to full fill his own desires. I still want to keep this relationship because I have a 3 year old baby. And I don’t want to spoil her life. Please solve my problem, how can I get my husband’s attention?

There may be number of reasons behind this. Age difference, work priorities, mutual respect for each other, person’s own sensibility about the issue etc are some of important reasons. You try to understand possible root causes and adress them in non-blaming way.

Doctor, we got married 10 yrs back. Our marriage was not a happy one. However, after so many crisis we go better relation. Once I went to my mothers place and when I came back to him, I caught him peeping another building; watching bathing a woman. We had fight, he asked me to forgive, and I did. I thought might be I was not there, he started this thing and he will stop this. We were transferred to another place; again, I caught him watching another woman’s boobs as she was washing the clothes on stone. Again, we had fight. At last, I forgave him. He did so many things like that silly. If he talks simple thing with another woman in absence of me, he hides from me. We have a very great sex life but still if he gets the time to watch ftv and he masturbates. After watching porn sites, he masturbates instead to have sex with me. Moreover, he pretends like feeling sleepy. I just want to know what this is. Why he does this? As he will always says I have a very sexy partner but still he is doing it!

From your description what I guess is, he might be having voyeurism. It is one kind of sexual deviation, in which person gets sexual pleasure by viewing woman’s sexual parts, erotic pictures, movies etc. As he is avoiding sexual act with you (even though he calls you very sexy partner) he requires treatment, if he agrees. You have to consult Psychiatrist for this.

Hi doctor, I took your advice long back and now I am married. There is a serious problem that I am facing. I have seen people cheating me or forgetting my gestures once their work is done. People even avoid me. I really do not why? Doctor I go out of my way to help others but don’t get the fruit. People take me for granted; I have a low self esteem please help.

Many people, without assessing the worth, go out of the way to please others. People take them for granted. Introspect and change your attitude accordingly. Maintain your self-respect in relationships, otherwise people will treat you as if you do not have it.

Hello Sir I have a boyfriend who is insisting me to lose my virginity with him. I have done oral sex with him before many times and he just intends to take the relationship further and have proper sex which I don’t want to do with anyone before marriage. How do I handle my boyfriend?

Boys will always try to force for intercourse. It is masculine tendency. If you do not want to give in to his pressure, simply but firmly say no to him. Even than if he keeps on forcing you, just walk out of relationship. One who does not respect your wish is not worth for anything.

I’m 20 yr old unmarried girl. Because of my small bust line, I feel very inferior. What should I do to regain my confidence?

Dear Suzan,
Small breasts and low confidence is like two sides of the coin, they always coexist. First you should acknowledge that you are not alone; innumerable girls all around the world have the same problem. Secondly; you need to accept that there are no medicines, lotions or massage technique by which you can increase your size except augmentation surgeries done by cosmetic surgeon. You may take cosmetic surgeon’s opinion for surgical augmentation. You may do some chest muscle exercises (Pectoral exercises) to make your bust line more prominent. Try to focus your attention on total fitness and well being. This is very important for positive self image.

Hello Sir, I am 25 years old and have been going out with my boyfriend (28 yrs) since last 8 years. We love each other a lot and everything was going well between us. It is also a long-distance relationship since last 4 yrs. My parents are against it because it is inter-religious. I have no issues with that and am ready to go against them. My problem is my boyfriend who is now suddenly very anxious about wedding. He says he is not ready since last 2 yrs and is now asking me to marry someone else as he thinks this might not work. The reason being his unwillingness to adjust. He says he might not be able to adjust himself to a married life. We have been fighting a lot since last 2 yrs and it has only aggravated this problem. I feel very depressed nowadays because of this. I feel lonely. I miss that love. I hate it when we fight. I feel I am losing him or rather lost him. I feel staying closer or together will solve the problem but he doesn’t seem to be very keen on it. I know he is not having another affair. His reasons seem very genuine but I am feeling very sad that he is not that into me anymore. I really want to marry him. How do you suggest that I should deal with this situation? I don’t want to force him in to marrying me.

You don’t want to force him?! In fact, you are indirectly forcing him to marry you since last 2 years!! If you feel that his reasons are genuine then you should overcome your dependence and insecurities and set him free. If he realizes that he cannot stay without you; he will come back, otherwise accept that he never meant to be yours. You cannot force somebody to love you or stay in the relationship.

Hello, Sir I am very much confused. I have recently lost my baby boy in nine months pregnancy. I am really very frustrated. I got married 1 and half year back. Before my marriage I had relations with my boyfriend for last three years. Unfortunately I conceived two times during that time and undergone abortions. I have not shared this with anyone. I feel that whatever happened to me now its all because of past. Do I need to tell this to my husband? I love my husband very much. I am very much frustrated. I want to forget everything what happened with me in past and start new life with my husband. Please help me out to forget past.

If you want to forget your past then do not tell this to your husband. Accept your past rather than regret. Time will do rest of the trick and you have to move on in the life.

Sir, I am writing to you for the fourth time. As I mentioned earlier mine is a distant relationship with a man of 36 years. I am 28years old and we are in relationship for the last 3years. Sir, for the past 1month I’m facing lot of problem in my relationship. The guy I’m into relationship has 2elder sisters and 1younger sister and brother. I would like your help in understanding the nature of the guy I’m in relationship with. He thinks a lot of his sisters, as I mentioned earlier, we are not getting married till his younger sister gets married and I have no choice except to accept it. The problem is if I’m not well and his sister is not well, he is worried more of his sisters who are already married. The actual problem is I have a gynec problem and I’m supposed to undergo a minor surgery at the same time one of his sisters who is already married with kid has a cyst in her ovaries and has this problem for quite some time. When I told him about my problem he said, that is a simple problem when compared to my sister. When he stated this I was hurt, but somehow I kept quite. But couple of days back he quoted saying Thank God, I am relieved out of tension as my sister problem is resolved. I felt hurt. I questioned him stating when I am into problem you were not worried and concerned, why is that different. When I said the same thing, he got angry and since then he is not answering the call. It’s hurting me a lot. I changed myself for him, only to ensure that he is happy. He never thinks of our relationship or the future of relationship. All the time he is only worried of his family. I don’t even get to talk to him after coming home in the night because he states that he wants to give time to his mother. When I ask him what about me, he says this is how I’m. If you want to be with me, you have to accept me the way I’m. Sir, he is 36years old, he has fulfilled all his responsibilities as son and brother, and I am still supporting him by waiting for him till his sister gets married. When I question him or ask him why don’t you call me or message me, why aren’t you concerned of me he gets angry and he disconnects the call. When I try calling him he doesn’t answer. He wasn’t like this before, I still remember him saying that I am tired of all the responsibilities just give me 1year and I will be with you. But these days, he is not bothered of me and this hurts me a lot. Please help to make him understand that even I am part of him and he should be worried of me. How do I make him realize what he is doing with me is wrong, the way he is behaving with me hurts me. When I say all these, he is not ready to listen. Please tell me what I should do. Please help me Sir.

I’ve told you to rethink about this relationship. He does not have respect for your feelings instead he says this is the way he is! He is taking you for granted; now you have to decide that how much and how long you are going to take this?!