When I was 26 a girl showed her love by her motivational words and works. But I think she is not so beautiful. But others say she is beautiful. For 3 days we were in relative’s house. After that I forgot her. But one day she came for marriage function, but she kept a distance and answered what I asked .At that night I felt depressed, I loosed my mind power. After a week I went to her office to talk. I love her. I am not going to love any other girl until death. But at that time her manager came and asked me about what I want? I said, she is my friend and waiting for her. But suddenly she told her manager that I was only a normal friend and told me that I am busy. I never expected it. I loosed all power and started drinking alcohol. My question is, girl loves the money or social status or beauty or some other thing? Or they want sex or love?

She has never told you that she loves you. It was your perception, which is not true. She does not consider you as good friend even. You cannot compel someone to love you by just loving them. Try to accept this fact and move ahead in life.

I had a serious relation with a guy but we could not get married bcoz of family pressure. We decided to quit. But after 2 years we still have strong feelings for each other. The problem is that last year I entered into a new relationship and the guy loves me a lot but I am not able to respond in the same way and always think of my previous relationship. What should I do?

Woman can not love two man simultaneously (I’m not referring to flirting or faked love for some goals!). She will always remain confused and tense in such situation. Accept the fate of first relationship, wind it up. You have to take an initiative and firm step in that direction. Your male partner will not be able to initiate this; he may try to convince you for maintaining both relationships. Man can do it, woman can not….It’s natural gender difference! 

Dear Sir, I married a guy 4 years back and he is software engineer. He took 25 lakhs as dowry and 200 gms of gold as a dowry. He got work visa for USA. He said he would take me to US once he settled down there. He didn’t come back again. He settled down there with some other female. Even after these many days I am still waiting for him, when we asked his parents about the same, they demanded some more money as a dowry. My father couldn’t afford that. He started abusing me, started abusing about my character to avoid me. My entire family is in deep distress. Recently we have filed a dowry harassment case, and then he started calling me from USA. Threatening me started posting lot of stuff in different online forums and abusing about my character. I am in deep confusion. what shuld I do? I feel like committing suicide. What to do now? Please advise. Crying like anything. My parents are suffering like anything. I am the only daughter to my parents. Please save my life.

These are pressurizing tactics. You should not succumb to it. Before taking back the dowry case you should ask your dowry amount back.

I married last year. I was with my husband for 8 months. Now I have left him and living with parents since last 4 months. My husband is suffering from Psychological problems, but he & his parents don’t accept it. He wants sex daily at night for 4-5 times & does not let me sleep. Sometimes he threatens me that he will hang himself to the fan. Sometimes he said he would cut his penis & testes. Sometimes he asked me to come with him to a temple & on the way he asked me who I was & where we were going. He would say he doesn’t know me. When my parents asked him why he did all these things he said he loved me too much & would just wanted me to listen to him & do whatever he wanted me to. Plz advise me if he is suffering from some psychological problem & if he can be cured. Thanks very much.

Small case history like this, is not sufficient to come to any conclusion but it gives an impression that he might be suffering from some psychotic Disorder (may be Schizophrenia). However, you should take him to Psychiatrist or you alone should go and discuss the case in detail for getting final diagnosis. Mental illnesses are treatable provided one takes regular treatment.

Dear Sir, in small age I was doing some wrong way of erection, today I am married but whenever I’m free, I do the same, I have tried my level best but I am not able to come out from it. This is very bad habit of mine of doing sex alone.

Self-control is the key. Alternatively you may involve your wife and ask her to help you.

I have been married since one and a half year and we are blessed with a 5 months old boy. I am working. It was an arranged marriage and for three months things were going smooth. Since the time I got pregnant I became over sensitive and moody. I was also advised bed rest so could not work even after staying home. My in laws cared for me but I and my husband started fighting very frequently. He could not understand my behaviour though I told him that these things happen during pregnancy. Things got worse. His parents called my parents and started complaining about me like I don’t work or I stay aloof and the home atmosphere and their health is getting disturbed because of me. I didn’t get any emotional support from my husband. He is the only child and is too attached to his parents. He could never bring me up to their level. Things were up and down. When we had the baby I was not allowed to go to my parents for 3 months because according to them it was very cold. The day when I was supposed to go my parents, I and my husband fought and they called my parents. I stayed at my parents for 1and a half month. My husband neither came to meet us nor even called for 15 days. I only initiated talking and went back. I am with them since last 15 days. Now I started working again. I tried to recover and am working very hard to please everybody. I am working on my toes since morning to evening, managing work, baby and house also. Everything is superficially fine but my husband is too cold and formal towards me. We didn’t have relation for last one year. He seems to be not interested. I feel unwanted and insecure. Tried telling him but he says he has some issues in job front and needs some time to come back but I am loosing patience. Firstly he doesn’t have time for me and secondly whenever I try communicating with him, he reacts. I fear that he is absent in my life now and probably when he wants to come back it will be too late. Secondly I am exerting so much to please my in laws that my health will suffer badly. But I can’t demand a maid because they are completely against the concept of keeping maid. How should I please my husband and in laws without getting physically and mentally affected? Thirdly my father in law is asking me to contribute money for the house without letting my husband know. He says that his son will not ask for money as you have ego issues and he shall only tell him at the right time. What should I do?

It is unfortunate that they could not understand and support you during your pregnancy. Give some more time to your husband. Do not go out of the way to please him or his parents, otherwise they would demand more attention. Fulfill your duties honestly without seeking their appreciation and wait for some more time. I do not think you can do anything more than this at present. There is nothing wrong in contributing financially but your husband should be aware about it. If he has ego problem as said by your father in law then you tell him that you want to contribute by your own wish but at least he should be aware.

Hi sir, I am going get married very soon and very much confuse about my married life because I had physical relation with my boyfriend from last three years. But I heard somewhere that it’s easy to know that if you partner is virgin or not especially for man. So I am really scared to get married.

It is not easy to know that whether your partner is virgin or not accept through medical examination. However during the act if you respond like an experienced partner than doubt may arise. So if you want to hide it respond like a novice during the act.

Hello Sir I am 25 years’ old married women. I think that I might have depression because I think my husband doesn’t love me that much that I have expected. Ours is love marriage. We both are staying away from our home because my husband’s family do not like me much. I am not their choice. Before marriage my husband was very caring, very loving. He used to love me a lot. We never used to fight with each other earlier but now things have changed. We usually fight on alternate days. This is quite depressive for me to handle. He is an angry man and he is also having loud voice which I can’t listen. Above all he comments upon me a lot. When he fights with me. My body gets stuck in one place. I can’t say anything later after any fight. I told him please slower your voice as I can’t listen…Daily I used to cry loud…I am suffering every minute. Please tell me what to do…I can’t prepare the food also…If he fights with me…I can’t speak thereafter…I am a working lady. Please suggest me, I can’t tolerate him now .Please do something…As I love him a lot…I am not able to concentrate on anything and also I am not able to eat anything.

You have to sit together and try to go to the roots of your conflicts. When you are feeling that his attitude has changed, you have to look for the reasons that might have been responsible for it. He is commenting a lot on you that means he has some dissatisfaction from you. Try to find out and resolve.

Sir, I read in class XII.I need someone’s help. Please help me. I have a boyfriend. I love him from deepest core of my heart. But he really hurt me every time. He talks to a girl who is my classmate. Sometimes he really behaves with me so bad, that I really feel exhausted. He had been physically close with that gal, and they blame me for this. I wanted to kill myself for that. But now I really want to study as I was a very good student. Please help me.

If he hurts you and has no regards for you and top of it having relationship with other girl, then you should leave him at any cost.

Hi, I m 26 yrs old engineer girl & now am doing a job in a private company with good salary. My problem is I am in love with the person who loves someone else. We met two years before, in starting when I proposed him, his response was positive. We had decided to marry with each other but our families were not ready due to caste problem so we decided to give some time to our families to think about, as it was not possible for both of us to marry someone else and to forget each other. Now the situation has changed he is saying that he is in love with some other girl and they are going to marry with her very soon. I just cannot explain my situation when I heard all this. I just can’t understand why he is doing like this? I love him very much and just can’t live without him but now he is not ready to keep even a friendship with me. He has forgotten everything and very happy with her new love. I cannot understand what is going on and what I should do now I want to forget him but it is not possible for me. I can’t forget him, I can’t forget that time that we spent together. What should I do now?

This proves that he had never loved you but under the name of love, he was maintaining relationship. No sooner he got his girl, you are out of his priority. You have to accept this in first place. You do not have to do anything to forget him as forgetting is an automatic process with the passage of time. If you remember the time spend with him, take it easy. Happy memories are always keeps on coming to your mental surface and you do not have to do anything to keep them away. Just try to shift your focus to your career and other relations otherwise you will be left with your emotional baggage. Decide to move on with a life rather then to freeze with painful past.