Hello Sir!! I am 27 year old female. I was attending some coaching classes while listening to lecturer I got distracted in between because of someone beside me, I am not able to concentrate back. I’ll be looking at lecturer but my concentration is on the person beside. Say while watching TV someone beside me scratches head and I recognized that then I’m not able to bring back my focus to TV I am watching TV and also that persons hand, say I am talking to a lady, if I see that she has deep neck again I’ll be looking at her neck and face at the same time .Some times while sitting in the bus I used to feel people are watching me. This happens only from the time that thought comes into my mind. Please tell me what is my problem, doctor gave me lanopin md 5 is it ok to use it for one year I even developed problem with front part of men .Once I see it remains in thought and even if I turn my head now my mind has both i.e. at it and wherever I am looking at I don’t think anything its fear that there. This will land me in big troubles even when I go out I go in fear now. Its long I am already not going out too often and I manage situation with lot of difficulty. There are no men around in my house currently. Please help me .I am asked to take lanopin md 5.

You are suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I do not think that medicine which you are taking is going to solve your problem. Consult psychiatrist.

Hi Dr. Hansal Bhachech, I am into a relationship for the past one year. We both understand each other and get along very well. She is a very nice and caring girl and I love her a lot. I am really serious for this girl. But the problem is that she was having an affair earlier. She slept with that guy twice (she herself told me). She says that she was not interested in sex but she was forced twice. Now please advise me what I should do. I love her a lot and cannot even forget her past. I am really upset.Please help what should I do?

Love deserves forgiveness. Try to accept her past and forgive her for the same from the bottom of your heart. This will stop upsetting you about her past, which is going to remain with her; always.

Sir as usual I had a relationship with a girl. I loved her a lot but now the problem is that she rejected me. I want to forget her. though I am trying to ignore her but whenever I listen to some kind of songs and movies I lose interest very quickly. I keep thinking about her and my mood goes off and thought always come up in my mind about her that makes me sick also. I feel like talking to her sometimes but she never cares about me anymore. When I kept on imagining her with me whenever I go to someplace nothing recalls but that particular memory of her. recalls about that place most of the times my mind thinks about this issue and also I am kind of goes ill and upset thinking about it, though I don’t want to but the fear of losing her and lost her and fear of getting married with another girl is causing a big worry. and also a lot of illness in my mind is there, any therapy that can help me erase memory associated with her or even her identity from my mind so I can live freely. Whenever I laugh a lot suddenly I stop what will happen next day. Previously I used to sit alone at home enjoying everything till the day I haven’t met her. But now I am scared of sitting alone what to do because I am getting ill day by day.

Forgetting is an automatic process. You do not have to try hard for it, all you need to do is just ignore her thoughts. Gradually thoughts should go away.

I’m 19 yrs old. I studied in co-education school so I had many friends, boys as well as girls. Many guys used to propose me those days. I didn’t avoid them completely instead, I spoke for few days and saw whether they match me. I didn’t find any one suits me expect 1. So I fell for him but it didn’t last for even a month. He left me. Now for the past few years, I’m in love with another guy who loves me truly and I’m very sincere with him. The problem is, my ex told my past to him with extra build up that we had affairs but I’ve not even touched him. My guy got angry and believed him bluntly. I somehow denied the fact and made him believe that he is my 1st love. But now days he doubts me a lot and we always end up in fight. He is a very possessive guy that he can’t even accept me just talking to a guy from 1st… So I stopped all my contacts with my friends. After this incident he doesn’t believe me at all. I’m very worried. I love him very much and don’t want to miss him…Please help me out.

Only thing you can do right now is maintain utmost honesty and transparency in the relationship with him. Do not do anything silly which can add to his suspicion or insecurity. Rest of the things you have to leave to the time.

Sir, My age is 35. During sleep I have an erection and as I wake up it ends within 30-45 seconds. Is it some disease or problem? I am worried about it.

Erection during sleep is normal. All males are experiencing it.  Do not pay attention to this.

Sir, I am 21 yrs old boy studying in college. I am addicted to porn for last 5 to 6 years. I specially watch rape n hardcore sex movies available in net… But the problem I am facing that once my cousin sister came to our house. She was alone when I returned to home, she was sleeping and I was watching TV in Drawing room. At that time thoughts of rape came to my mind. I feel as if I am going to have SEX with her. But some parts of my mind said that ‘It is a wrong thing’. I was felling afraid of committing a crime at that moment. So, I went to market and returned home when my parents came to my house. Now I am dating with a girl for last 3 months. we love each other very much. Sometimes when I meet her or talk over phone, the same thought of rape comes to my mind. We don’t have sex so far also I fear to talk about sex with her. Whenever those thoughts of RAPE come to my mind, I feel really nervous n afraid. I know it is a crime and I may have to face 7yrs of Jail for this. I don’t want to commit such crime because I want to be successful in my profession n Career. But I also cannot leave Porn movies. Please guide me what should I do now?? Should I break up with her because of RAPE fear?? I sometimes feel very disturbed because of these thoughts of rape…. Plzzzz Help me….. Thank you

You have developed an obsession. Please consult psychiatrist to come out of this.

Hello doctor, my problem is I have a very unstable mind. I have no control over my mind. I made many planning, routines-but could never follow it completely. When I try to stick to it forcibly, in the midway I either get diverted or bored, or feel sleepy. I am very lazy. I have many wishes in life. Then how can I be so careless? Is this a psychic problem? I wanted to be a psychiatrist. But I could not go through the entrance exams. Now I am doing BSc. Though I have started liking it but I have no inclinations towards it. No one is giving any importance to me (I think because I chose BSc.).Even my mama is underestimating me and my studies. She thinks we can get job in just 4yrs if we do engg. But most students are doing engg. I always wanted to do something unique. So I didn’t opt for engg. Though I got good rank in that. Moreover I don’t like anything in the technical line. All my relatives, neighbors, friends forced me to do that. By opposing them every time. My dislike for engg. became even stronger. So much that I said “I will do anything but not engineering.” Can’t I prove myself through BSc? Can’t I get better job than my engg. friends? But constant pressure from family is frustrating me. They don’t understand me. They don’t trust me, my capability. Especially my mom. We often have quarrels on this topic and I end up crying in my room. My problem is I don’t understand what to do next? (I like understanding minds. so I still have a desire of becoming a psychiatrist.) But in this constantly disturbing env. of home I can never concentrate. I am in a hanging position. Please guide me.

I always tell to the students, it is not branch but it is you who has a future. What ever branch you will study, successful career depends upon you and not on your degree. You don’t have to listen any body for selecting the branch, except your parents. You should listen to their views and discuss your likings.
For becoming Psychiatrist, you need to be doctor first. (You should complete M.B.B.S. and thereafter have to do M.D. in psychiatry)
To improve your mental control you need to do physical as well as mental exercises like meditation, autosuggestions etc. Prioritize your task and get after one task, one time.  

I am in love with a 20 yr boy of same caste and we have decided to marry. We both are currently students in college and there is a very good relation between the two family members as we are relatives. But I want to know if it is allowed to marry with him because there is relation problem. He is my real aunt’s (father’s sister) grandson. Please tell me if it is possible in Hindu religion and if not what should we do?

Hindu religion does not deny this type of marriage. This is more of social then religious issue. According to laws boy should be above 21 years and you should be above 18 years.

Dear Dr, I am 30 yrs guy got married 2 months back. My wife had a past relationship. I knew it from very 1st day. Our marriage is also love marriage. Now she is back her own house b’coz she thinks she does not love me. From last one year she is taking depression pills. So I never forced her for anything. But I love her very much. I don’t know what to do. Please help me.

You had love marriage and now she tells that she does not love you, bit confusing. She might be feeling guilty about first relationship (guilt is very common in depressed person) and more so when you love her very much. Give her some time and support her to come out of depression.

Dear Sir, I’m happy to stumble upon your website. I have a fiancée whom we have dated for 6 years 3 months. I really love this girl and she claims to love me too. We arranged to get married early January 2009. All the marriage arrangements have been made. I discovered this April that she had been having an affair for the past 2 years in school. She has been sending and receiving love messages to this guy. Since the day I discovered it, I’m have been finding it difficult to forget about it even though she apologized. I’m having feelings that she is still keeping the affair or maybe having other affairs. She still keeps the phone number of this guy. I’m thinking of quitting his relationship. Memories of she is unfaithful of fooling me keep hunting me. How do I approach this? I’m finding difficult to believe that she still love me. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for your concern to help.

Trust is the foundation of healthy interpersonal relationship. Try to resolve your doubts through frank discussions with her. Explain her, what keeps on worsening your doubts. Understanding at both ends can resolve this successfully.