I have been married for almost 8 months now. My husband does not have interest in sex ,I have tried to speak to my husband many a times but he just keeps quite saying he does have interest. From day one he has been using fingers and never tried to do anything further than that. I feel bad because of this and have told him many a times but he does not react to whatever I say and I am really feeling bad and am really hurt by this behaviour of his. Whenever I try to tell him he either keeps quite or says that he is also interested in sex. I really do not understand his behaviour and am really depressed because of this. Doctor what could be the reason because of which he does want to do the entire thing while in bed and just uses fingers.

Most common reasons are Erectile Dysfunction (not getting erection hard enough to penetrate) and Premature Ejaculation (discharges semen before getting in to proper act). Talk to him about your desire and suggest him to seek medical advise. You should be very cautious about not blaming or hurting him during this conversation. However, you put your desire in such a way that he has to pay attention to it. You have to address this issue very smartly but firmly.

I am a married person with kids. I am so honest and truthful to my husband and expect me to tell the same even if he flirts with someone. I somehow know whatever he hides. Our wavelengths are so good. He is good caring person. I see him hiding things from me and having some emotional attachment with one of my sister. When I corned he did agree and both are so dear to me that I totally trust and believe them. They respect each other and my sister is looking for a shoulder to lean to overcome her problems. Their communication is hurting me though I am sure both care for me and sure they don’t cross the limit. But I am so depressed. How should I cope up with this?

Talk to your sister about what you are going through. If she is sensible and caring for you then she will withdraw herself from this. Alternatively you may talk to both of them in joint session. It is not a good idea to suffer silently, without letting them know about it.

Hey I am shweta. I don`t know what has happen to me from the last one and half year. I just see a penis of any man, or a baby boy. Is this my imagination or a psychic disease? I am topper in my collage, am very good in studies. Day by day my disease is increased and I am suffering from another problem also that all my thoughts I can`t understand. I can`t study now but earlier I was crazy about my career, my mind always thought day “why could we used we for we”? That type of questions are running in my mind always, in the night I can`t sleep a sound sleep due to my nature and character is totally changing right now. I am not the same as I was before. I can`t be happy in any occasion, in anything and one thing more earlier I had also a physical relation with some guy from last 8 months when I thought that if I see the organ in original then I will be fine, but that is actually not working and I can`t understand what is actually happen to Me? I have tried to do suicide 2 times but did not succeed. Please help me and tell is this disease can be need of some medicines or is this disease is gone through some other ailment. I am still single and I was a very simple girl but now I have change. I literally hate myself because of that physical relation which I created with another guy. please help me I don’t want to spoil my career, I want to make my career, I had completed my MCA in aug-2009 and that disease is started from 27th dec,2008. Please help me

I think you are suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder. It can be cured with medications, your puzzling thoughts looks like obsessions. Please consult a nearby psychiatrist for the same.

Hello Doctor, I got married this Jan-2007. My wife is not ready to accept me. We never had any physical relationship; indeed, she doesn’t allow me to touch her. She tells, she is not having any feelings for me and not ready to create physical relationship. She told me her parents insisted her to do marry. However, she is happy with my parents. We did not talk each other, in a day we see each other only 3-4 times and talk around 5-7 minutes. Earlier I thought after some time she can manage, but it is long time over, around 10 months. Now a day she is hardly trying to mix-up with me, when we have dinner that time only talk with me as well as watch TV also, it means she has fixed time for me 20 mins. It is very irritating for me. I am losing my confidence and no more interested for her. Please suggest me a solution.

You should talk to your and her parents about this. She might be taking revenge on her parents because they forced her to marry you. Pressurize her parents to intervene and clarify her past. She may not like this but you have to take control over situation. If nothing fruitful comes out then think of seperation.

Hi, I am 29 yrs old married with one son. Doctor my husband had an extramarital affair 4 yrs back at that time I forgive him when he said sorry but later I realized that I was never been able to forgive him. I kept on making him realize that he did blunder to us. In the beginning of our married life my husband totally changed. He always use to see only one side of coin that was from his mothers point of view due to which we had lots of misunderstanding and fights which often ended up in abuse and physical assault. Therefore, my husband later started putting blame on me that I was the reason for his extramarital affair. We had a love marriage. During his affair, I was badly humiliated by him at every point of time. He had a sexual relation with that girl and at the end he also insisted me to help her (his girlfriend) in abortion. I went into depression and still feel that depression hits me on and off and due to which I have loosed all my confidence. Later on, I ended up in affair and physical relation. Due to which the gap started widening up. I am still in touch with my friend but due to geographical distance, we do not have any physical relation. I do realize that the life of such affair is very short and now I am less attached to my friend but somewhere relation between my husband and me has worsened. We don’t fight but I remain quiet don’t feel comfortable in sharing any of my feelings, and he also complains that even he is lonely. We both try on our parts to overcome things and start afresh but after few hours I just loose confidence, go back in the past or start comparing him with my friend with whom I had relation. To be honest doctor I am sick of my situation and want to really come out of this problem so that I can give my son a happy life and upbringing. Please help me doctor…I am really ruining my family life. I keep on crying and also try to suicide…..pls help me

What your husband did is out of male instinct. Although he has to blame you for that, so he can save him from question why he did that?  What you did might be out of your need to get love and affection or may be revengeful act. Now, probably you are feeling guilty from within. Your relationship with your husband has reached to point of indifference and that is even worst then quarreling. Revival is difficult but not impossible. Stop all contact with your friend and try to concentrate on your son, husband and family without any complaints and guilt. Accept what ever has happened without questioning and analyzing. I know, this is not simple but you can always keep on trying. With passage of time, things may start coming in to shape.

I m having very serious problem which I don’t think anybody in this world have. My problem is that I am just 26 year old but my physical appearance looks like that I am around 60 years. My whole body is depleting day by day. I m completely depressed. I just feel like I m an exceptional creature in this world my mind completely gone, always in the mood of die. Please help me out.

Premature aging is your problem. There are many interrelated reasons behind it. Most common are Endocrinal problems (problems of hormones). Please consult endocrinologist and get your hormonal levels checked. Balanced diet and regular exercises can be very helpful irrespective of underlying cause. 

I am a 25 yr old boy. I feel like I have some hormonal problem vis-Ã -vis my sexuality. I feel real pleasure when I press my nipples and I get aroused .I get aroused when I imagine myself getting intimate with one of my earlier close friends with whom i had anal sex few times. At those times, I really wanted him to make love to me. I am confused .Please help me.

From your short description, what I could make out is; you have problem of gender identity. Your sexual orientation is towards homosexuality. Get your sex hormone profile checked (it is done through blood test). If you find any abnormality in sex hormones, you need to consult Endocrinologist (specialist of hormone related diseases). If report is normal, consult psychiatrist.

Hi, I’ve been seeing one girl for the past year. When we initially got into the relationship we both said it was for fun. But now things have got very serious and her parents want us to get married. The problem is; she has had a very promiscuous past, where she has been sexually active with more than 5 men. I don’t know whether I can deal with this and how to tell my family this?

Both of you were into the relationship for fun, then you need to understand that it cannot go long way. Particularly this is more so when you are aware about her promiscuity. You have to manage your parents, respectively; by whatever way you think the best e.g. faking break up etc. But clear opinion is not to marry with her, husband can never live comfortably with promiscuous wife even if it is her past. You and other readers may find it bitter but this is the fact of life.

I made a relationship with a Hindu guy .I m a Muslim girl. At the early stage, I knew that I will not continue but it was a miracle, I fell in love with him. I ignore the relation considering my family status. However, lately I became very helpless inside of our family environment. Family environment is totally out of my favor. My family members mentally and physically tortured me. There was nothing to please me. I was very lonely in those days. To be happy I involved myself with that guy. Once I was badly beaten (not for my affair just family purpose) by my brother. I came out from home and decided to commit suicide. But lately I thought to marry him. I made physical relation with him and now he is taking time to marry coz he is trying Australian visa. After that, he will marry me. but I cant wait now. What should I do please tell me? I’m in miserable condition.

What are other alternatives you have? From you mail, I guess he is the only support you have right now. You have to decide whether you afford to loose him by not waiting for him. If you do not have other feasible alternatives then you have to wait.

Doctor, I have been married since 18 months. Ours was love marriage and our married life is going fine. Our sexual life is also going good. However, I have realized over past 1 month that my penis does not remain erect for long and thus we are not able to have normal intercourse. We start foreplay and my penis looses erection. Since last one month we have not had sex. Is it normal? Does it happen with every man after marriage? I am very tensed and worried. I don’t want to hinder my married life because I love my wife very much and she loves me too. I need help. Can you please give me some doctor’s contact number in Mumbai with whom I can discuss/ consult? Thanks

This is normal. Do not become anxious over your performance. Give more attention to foreplay then the act. Things should get normal within few days. You may consult any psychiatrist nearby.