Sir, I am 21 yrs old boy studying in college. I am addicted to porn for last 5 to 6 years. I specially watch rape n hardcore sex movies available in net… But the problem I am facing that once my cousin sister came to our house. She was alone when I returned to home, she was sleeping and I was watching TV in Drawing room. At that time thoughts of rape came to my mind. I feel as if I am going to have SEX with her. But some parts of my mind said that ‘It is a wrong thing’. I was felling afraid of committing a crime at that moment. So, I went to market and returned home when my parents came to my house. Now I am dating with a girl for last 3 months. we love each other very much. Sometimes when I meet her or talk over phone, the same thought of rape comes to my mind. We don’t have sex so far also I fear to talk about sex with her. Whenever those thoughts of RAPE come to my mind, I feel really nervous n afraid. I know it is a crime and I may have to face 7yrs of Jail for this. I don’t want to commit such crime because I want to be successful in my profession n Career. But I also cannot leave Porn movies. Please guide me what should I do now?? Should I break up with her because of RAPE fear?? I sometimes feel very disturbed because of these thoughts of rape…. Plzzzz Help me….. Thank you

You have developed an obsession. Please consult psychiatrist to come out of this.

Hello doctor I am 24 year old housewife. I have got married an year before The problem is that my husband comes home by 9 in night and by that time he feel like going to sleep and I wait for him to come near me, but he doesn’t feel as such, we have sex once in 10 days. I feel irritated of it because I want to have sex frequently? Is this any psychological problem, whose problem is this, me or my husband’s? And what should I do?

It is obviously your husband’s problem. Ask him to improve his schedule. If that is not possible then plan your sexual activity early in the morning. Make him exercise so that his physical strength will improve and there by his vigor will improve and he won’t feel tired in the evening. If he has lost interest in sex then you should consult Psychiatrist nearby to explore the roots of the problem.

My family didn’t give respect and love to my wife. Instead they blame her for anything. She doesn’t like that and even she doesn’t want me to talk and see my parents and my family and my friends. It hurts me a lot. She always fights for anything. She is short temper. Please help me to make good relationship with her.

Respect is mutual. You have to give the respect to receive the respect. She has to initiate this chain. She should start respecting your parents, friends etc. Do not fight with her, take understanding approach. Give her respect which in turn encourages her to give respect to others.

Sir, before 5 years I was in love with one guy who left me and married someone else. It hurt me a lot and took long time for me to be normal. I am working with an MNC. I am 28 years old now, now I have feelings for one of my colleague who is married. He also has the same thing. He has not proposed me directly but by his behavior I can feel that he is in love with me. We meet during duty timings only. Our work is in such a way that sometimes we will have to stay up to 10-11pm and at that time there is nobody present in our office, actually we have a separate cabin. Sometimes he starts some physical activities, mean kissing, touching etc. He is very sincere and loves his family and his wife very much that I know but he has said that he cares for me has feelings for me. I think that it is wrong, mean our relation is wrong as indirectly I m cheating his wife. He is saying that I am a part of his life now, and will remember always me. I believe him and I know that he never lies. I have strong feelings for him and I can’t stop myself from thinking of him, I love him a lot. I am afraid that what will happen to me if he goes away from me? His native place is not here, he is planning to shift/change the job. I cannot understand what to do now. Should I go ahead with this relation or not? Our relation supports me a lot but when I think about my future, I get worried. Kindly requesting you to guide me. Thanks.

Stay away from him. Apart from some temporary emotional support, you are not going to get anything but pain. This might be difficult for you at present but remember that it is going to be more difficult in future.

I m a 26 yr old male, with good business and financial background, married to my school friend who is 27, it was friendship turned into love then the wedding , initially she had problems with shifting to small town and my family, now we are trying to shift to a new house, I have a very successful career and I focus on that as well. after the wedding I have not had a lot of time for her, I agree to this problem and committed to her that I need some time ( 2 years)to sort out my career challenges then I can have a comfortable and a stable life for myself and her, the problems between us do not seem to minimize though there is just little understanding. she is very intolerant of my folks and family. even when we are outside everything about them disturbs her, I have tried to console her that I m making ways for us to live separately but she wants things too quick and do not want an inch of them. she is very very abusive towards them( I do not know y I take it). I understand her problems and completely relate to her with the cultural gap between the family but I have certain responsibilities as well( though I m in waters with the relationship with my folks too). now she understands but behaves too violent and off late I m beginning to loose my temper and I have started being physically violent as well. I do not know what’s going wrong. we fight, we make up and then at any drop we fight again just seems there was no understanding between us , there is none now , she proposes that we separate for a couple of years till we figure out my carrier and what we want and become stable . plz advise if we should go for it.

Every one tries to make their career at your age but that does not mean that you run away from your other responsibilities. To give time to your wife and family is your moral responsibility. Try to balance your time between work and family. “Once I will settle down” that in fact never happens in life, life is always on.
 Your wife is emotionally pressurizing you by proposing separation for couple of years. Try to talk to her sympathetically and be always available to her mentally as well as physically (do not put time as an excuse, manage your time any how).Never ever become physically violent as it is most traumatizing for any person. (I think you are frustrated because of situation and taking it out physically). This will only worsen your problem. At the same time I will like to advise you not to succumb emotional blackmailing because that will create new issues in your life, offer her practical solution instead.And even after doing this,if she insists sepration then give it a try if you can.sometimes absence of person makes you to realise certain things better.

Hello Sir. I’m 24. I’m a model. My height is 5’8. And I want my height 6 feet. So is it possible to increase the height. I have searched some websites mostly informed that with help of stretching exercises height can be increase to 3 t0 4 inches. Is it true and effective? I am afraid that with this exercise the length of my neck can increase. How to increase real height? Please suggest me.

It is not possible to increase your height at this age.

Sir you asked me to send both the two questions when you came back from USA. So I’m sending. Q Sir I and my boyfriend were in relationship for last 1 year. He was my classmate in MSC. He proposed me for marriage and although the last 1 year we have been very good together. However, now for last 3 months there was a dispute for reason that I sent him sms that I will die without you so he got angry. But then he talked to me last month so I thought that everything will be fine now. But then I don’t know what happened, someone probably said to him that I was having a relationship with one of PhD student (he was very senior to us and even married) of department where we study. He not even discussed the matter with me. He didn’t allow me to clear the matter. I sent him many sms to explain but at that time he didn’t want to understand anything. He is saying that I have cheated upon him. My friends suggested not to talk to him right now as he will not understand. I don’t know what to do. I can’t live without him. He is the boy I have shared some personal relation for the very first time in my life. I want him in my life. We decided a lot about our married life but now he said that he will not marry me and that I have lost value in his life. This all is very depressing for me. Please tell me what I should do. A. Though misunderstandings are part of the relationship, it is unfortunate. Convey him that you are ready to accept his decision but at the same time you want to explain the things for your satisfaction. This way probably he will be ready to listen to you. Explain your part honestly and wait for his decision rather than throwing yourself on him. That was your answer. Then my 2nd question and request to u was as below. Please help me Dear Dr., I m writing mail to u after many days because I was waiting to see whether my boyfriend reply’s to me or not. I saw that he has sent scraps (on orkut) to other friends that mean he checked his mail but he didn’t reply my mail. I wrote him a mail telling all the truth as you suggested but he didn’t reply me. I sent mail to him after a long time. Now I am feeling very upset and don’t know what to do with the situation. I don’t understand why he is not ready to reply me. Sir, I want to know what is going in his mind. I want to know whether he thinks about me or if he has completely forgotten me? (Because I just keep on thinking of him) Sometimes it comes to mind whether he has some other girl in his life now. That’s why he left me? I know that he is not that kind of person to leave me and go to other girl. But since he did all this to me sometimes such thoughts come to my mind. I can’t tolerate to see any other girl with him. This thought makes me go unstable in mind. Sir please help me. Please convey him my condition and truth that I have no relation with that guy. Sir I am quite depressed. Please help me. I can’t live without him and moreover when I saw that he is contacting other friends but still didn’t reply my mail it made me more disturbed. Please help me sir. Please tell me will u mail him as a doctor conveying him as I asked you in previous mail? Sir please help me. Thanks

This is unfortunate but I think there has to be many factors behind this. As he is neglecting your communications out rightly, the only way left to you is to involve some common friend (rather then involving stranger like me, which in turn may create an impression that you are trying to blackmail him emotionally). If this is also not working then try to accept that you are dumped and leave analyzing the causes which will give you pain and only pain.

Sir, I am very grateful for this service. I am a 3rd year student of an engineering college. I know one of my seniors in our college from very 1st day. As he was our family friend too, I became very close to him. At the end of my 1st year he left our college and joined an MNC (in another state).Then I had realized what a tough moment was that. I realized I can’t live without him. But he was committed with another person. And he considered me as his sister. Hopefully he could understand my feelings .So he had not meet me before his going. But after 2 months I found him online in Google talk. He gave me his new contact number and we usually talked in weekend. Some body forced me to keep relation with him. But it was not possible. After some days he started to tell about his girlfriend. How much he misses her..Etc.. That day I could not control my feelings. I expressed and I was weeping simultaneously. He said he had become happy because I told him everything. And he will be my friend after this also and he will keep contact with me as before. Then 6 months passed. But we talked very often, maximum 2 or 3 days. One day he asked me in orkut ‘how am I, why don’t I call him like before. A little hope in me was developed again. I did not let him understand. But again suddenly he started to make me realize the facts as like before. Why do I think about him, it is not possible.etc. That day I told him ‘I don’t think about you now, I don’t want to call you even I don’t have any queries about you’ but at the end he said ok, good night, sweet dreams. I felt very sad and could not accept. I asked him to stop this and not to keep any contact with me because he doesn’t deserve that. He put off the phone. But I could not feel secure. I thought he might have taken that as a joke. I called him again after 7 days and said sorry. He just switched off the phone, and said his mood was not ok to hear those stupid things. I had fever and my blood pressure was low. My parents had to face many problems After being cure I called him again then he said his girlfriend does not like that he talks with me. Then I should not call him further. Now also I can’t sleep in night, can’t concentrate in my work even can’t eat properly. Every moment I feel somebody is playing with my feelings. And I feel to fight with my weakness.

You have developed emotional dependence on wrong person. He is playing with your emotions. Accept this fact and stop contacting him.

I have a relation with an 18 year old girl from last 3 years. I love her very much and she too and we decided to marry after 4 years. But when I told my parents about this relationship they did not agree. Because the girl is from an uneducated family and she stopped her studies in class 10 and I’m a student of Bangalore IIT. My parents gave me some condition- 1.If I marry that girl they will not give any support to me. 2. They will not stay with me after my marriage with that girl. But I can’t live without that girl and family too. What will I do in these situation, break the heart of my girl friend and finish myself or continue the relation spoiling the relation with my parents who always help me from my childhood? I’m totally helpless please help me.

You should have thought this very early in four years of relationship. Now you have to struggle to please your parents and girlfriend. If you do not want to lose any of them then wait until your parents agree. Meanwhile, you may continue your efforts to convince them. You may take help of someone to whom they listens.

I have been in a long distance (1 hour apart) relationship for 8 years now. I am almost done school and have a great job. My boyfriend decided he wanted to start his own business a year ago and said he does not want to commit unless he has a stable income. However, I feel like he is not giving his business “his all” and sometimes I wonder if he will ever get himself together. I worry about his spending habits because he is always going out with his friends spending money on dinners and it makes me feel like he does not give a shit about saving up for our future together. Sorry about the swearing, I love the guy more than anyone and I know he feels the same, but sometimes I feel like maybe he is just giving me excuses and really he has doubts about us or something… or else why would not you commit after 8 years???!!!

I also think that he is giving you an excuse as his attitude seems different then what he intends (i.e. stable income). Moreover 8 years is quite long time for commitment. Talk to him on this issue in a very clear manner, expressing your concern and doubts.