I am a 20 year old student, currently pursuing my 4th semester, 2nd year of graduation. I fell in love with a girl as I came in college, when I first saw her during the beginning of our 1st semester. I told a friend about her as I was a bit shy to start talking with her. He suggested me that there was nothing wrong and I started talking with her on facebook. I didn’t know anything about how to talk to girls. And on the first day of my chat with her I asked for her number. She obviously refused as she didn’t know me well. I used to chat with her daily and we came to know about each other quite well, and later we exchanged our numbers. She actually studied with me when I was in school, 1.5-2 years back. She was my batchmate (but not in my class). Surprisingly she told me that she had a crush on me at that time but not anymore. She told me about this guy in her class who proposed her at the very first when they met. He was a detained student and a senior. She refused his proposal. She used to tell me about him that he was a drunkard, smoker and had some other addictions also. But later, on the other hand she recognised that he was a protective person. She had a best friend from the previous school and he used to suggest or force her not to talk and be with this junkie. She didn’t agree with him and she and her friend had a rough chat with each other one day. When the junkie came to know that he abused him, he beat the guy right outside our college. I didn’t know that he abused this person as this girl didn’t tell me. Till then this girl, had an impression like “most of the boys have ditched her”. We used to meet casually at college as we had a full day college. I just met her along with her sister once on the friendship day for about an hour. Nothing unusual happened. I can realize now how dumb I was then.One day when we were sitting together in a bus, I proposed her. Hearing this she felt shy for about 2 minutes and hid her face with her hands. She was surprised, she told me that from our chatting she knew that I will propose her one day but didnt know that it would be like this. She refused me and told me that it was okay being just friends. When I told her that I loved her, I still remember the feeling that I literally felt in my heart. I was so afraid to convey this to her. And after I told her, she told me that she wished to hug me and I just held her hand for about 15-20 minutes as she didn’t want a relationship with me. I still remember this day. Coming to her best friend, she cried a lot for him even in the bus. She was going through bad days about her image in college. Some of her friends from the class along with the one who was detained and me, stood by her in the situation. When the situation became a bit cool I stopped talking with her for the first time saying that I needed a break. She asked me not to leave her like her other old best friends left her. I kept that in mind. But i was not able to stay mum for more than 3 to 4 days and started talking with her. But after these days I was not able to talk with her the way I used to talk before. Maybe because an old friend of mine (not from the college) judged this girl and told me she was not good for me. I was no good at that time judging people about how they were. After this break she was happy that I started talking with her and told me that she thought that I would probably never talk to her again. We then kept in touch for about 10-15 days and this thing which my friend judged about her kept striking every now and then in my mind. A big decision I had made again that I would not talk to her ever again. I told her the same that I was getting busy those days and need a break again. But for this time I kept a firm mind and didn’t even look at her till the current day. The second reason was she was too much impressed with the protective nature of the guy who proposed her before me. Before I stopped talking with her,she accepted his proposal and was now commited with him. So I felt it was nothing wrong staying away from her. She had someone whom she loved. I thought that they loved each other so much and so will never be aparted by anyone. Their group used to stay together all the time. They seemed like made for each other for lifetime. And I too was happy for her. She had such good and understanding friends unlike me who stood by her all the time. Coming to the present day, one of my classmates (and a best friend) who was also a friend of the one who ‘she’ loved, told me that he broke up with her. I asked him why and how did this happen, my friend told me that he was not sure but the boy is not talking with the group since a few days but talking and probably hanging out with some another girl.
I felt so sorry for this thing which I have done, I think if I would have been with her all the time ,this situation might be different. Not to be with her but for her good,not to hand her to these kind of guys. Their relationship lasted for about almost 2 years and they both aparted.
I want to ask should I apologize to her for not being by her side during her difficult days, for not being a best friend who I was, for not understanding her feelings for me as a friend and being a dumb fellow for that time……??

I don’t think your decision about this relationship is wrong. What I understand is, she was considering you as an emotional support, and probably never wanted you as her love. She made a choice of a protective guy over a guy who loves her. Now that the things have not worked out between them, for the reason best known to them, I don’t think that you should jump to play any role. She might come back to you or develop a feeling for you out of her multiple rejections, but in that case your future relationship will not be in a good test.

My husband, who is an architect met a major accident before a year.Although, he recovered a lot but still he is unable to walk without a support.As a result, he is unable to return to his work.I am working doubly hard, doing overtime at the office etc. to make more money and meet two ends.I am also wrestling with a frustrated sex life. I am married for five years now and all this is taking toll on me, please help.

Mishaps don’t happen in life with prior notice.However, you have been very brave and supportive to your family during this entire episode.You have been doing your duties well, which is an appreciable job.Now when this difficult phase of life is to pass away, please don’t lose on PATIENCE because now you will not have to wrestle for long since he is recovering. You also need to find out some time from your rushing  schedule,for revitalizing romance in your life. Without doing this you can not bring the spark back.

Hey I am shweta. I don`t know what has happen to me from the last one and half year. I just see a penis of any man, or a baby boy. Is this my imagination or a psychic disease? I am topper in my collage, am very good in studies. Day by day my disease is increased and I am suffering from another problem also that all my thoughts I can`t understand. I can`t study now but earlier I was crazy about my career, my mind always thought day “why could we used we for we”? That type of questions are running in my mind always, in the night I can`t sleep a sound sleep due to my nature and character is totally changing right now. I am not the same as I was before. I can`t be happy in any occasion, in anything and one thing more earlier I had also a physical relation with some guy from last 8 months when I thought that if I see the organ in original then I will be fine, but that is actually not working and I can`t understand what is actually happen to Me? I have tried to do suicide 2 times but did not succeed. Please help me and tell is this disease can be need of some medicines or is this disease is gone through some other ailment. I am still single and I was a very simple girl but now I have change. I literally hate myself because of that physical relation which I created with another guy. please help me I don’t want to spoil my career, I want to make my career, I had completed my MCA in aug-2009 and that disease is started from 27th dec,2008. Please help me

I think you are suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder. It can be cured with medications, your puzzling thoughts looks like obsessions. Please consult a nearby psychiatrist for the same.

I am 21 years Old. I feel VERY MUCH ashamed to reveal this matter with you, but no other option. Please help me. I have a sister who is 19 years old. One day we both were left at relative’s house and accidently we had oral sex (no intercourse) in the bed. We both were naked and I ejaculated in her underwear. This happened 2 weeks ago. I am afraid of my sister getting pregnant because of me since she was wearing the same underwear. I am very much depressed because of the sin done by both of us, but I guess she doesn’t care about this matter. PLEASE HELP

No she won’t get pregnant for sure.
You are already feeling guilty about what you did with your sister so I do not want to add to your guilt but can not restrain myself advising you to spare and respect some relations.

Hello Doctor, I am honey, working in am MNC. I was in love with a person for 2 yrs and we had sex with each other in the past years. My parents as very orthodox and want me to get married soon, they started looking for a person to get me married. I do not want to go against their wishes and hurt them. I have spoken about this to my partner and he accepted the fact that we both cannot marry each other. In another 2 months I am getting married to a guy of my same caste who is just 2 yrs elder to me and is of the same generation and is quite modern thinking and stylish. Please let me know if my future husband by any way could come to know if I already had sex? Because I have, been having sex for the past 2 yrs, will there be any changes in my sexual organs due to which he can to know that I am not a virgin? Please let me know if I have to talk to him about me not a virgin and that I already have had sex in my past relation so that I do not face problems in future in case he comes to know that I am not a virgin. I want to have a successful marriage. Please help me, I am really tensed about this and am not able to get proper sleep and not able to remove this from my head. Thanks

No, no one can find out that you are not virgin unless you disclose it. Some people have misconception that from broken hymen, one can check virginity. If you behave like an experienced partner in bed, he may suspect. Never ever confess that you had sexual relations in past, no man can ever take this even if he claims himself a modern thinker. Try not to think about it, gone are the days.
 

Dear Sir, My problem is that whenever I do any activity I check it for 3-4 times. for example, When I do Lock or powered Off Eletrical Switch or Close Water nobe or do any mathematical calculation etc. I check it 3-4 times. I know that I did it correctly however I check again and again. Please provide me the solution.

These are symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, mental illness due to chemical (called serotonin) disturbances in brain. You need to consult Psychiatrist for the treatment. There are medicines, which can correct Serotonin imbalance. He will prescribe them.

Hi, I am 21 and my husband is 24. We have been married for almost a year and we have a three month year old daughter. My husband is from Bangladesh and I am from Dutch. We have met in London and been together since December 07. Below I will explain my feelings. I hope you could give me some advice or perhaps you would understand what might be going on. I am waiting for your reply. Thank you. Confusion, disappointment, anger, exhaustion… all kind of feelings are running through me. Have I made a mistake, is this destiny or am I the person who is just never satisfied. I do not know. Do I belong with Shon? That is my big question. One day I am so sure that we are a definite mismatch and all I would want is to make an end on this. ‘I would be so much happier without him. We are so different.’ And another day I wake up and think that I am just going through a phase and really there is something else that I am not happy with and just think it’s my relationship. I try to find reasons; it’s because Shon works so much and we are not able to spend a lot of time together; or maybe because the life is not so easy I blame it on the relationship; or maybe I find the motherhood very difficult to cope with, completely on my own. Then I think, yeah, there is going to be a better time where I am going to be happy with Shon. Then, I just wake up and say to myself, am I crazy, am I blind to see that we are not destined for each other. Why am I looking for excuses? He is not the right person for me, that‘s the bottom line. Then I start to think, ok, what is so bad about him? And I cannot come up with something. He loves our daughter, he loves me to bits, he is very family orientated and yes… he has not established himself yet in life. And it seems the progress is very slow. However, I do not want to be the wife that is after money or his wealth. Because I am not! I tend to believe in him a lot, I know he can graduate or I know he will find a nice job where he is going be very happy with. But will he? If not, what would happen? He would always work in places where he is not happy. That will defiantly put pressure on me and I would not be able to go forward with my shoulders light if he is unhappy. I want him to be happy. I do not want to worry about him for the rest of my life. But what if that is going to happen? Our personalities are quite different. I am very driven person and do not like failures. I set high standers for myself and my achievements make me happy. I have goals in life and will persuade them no matter what. But will Shon hold me back if he finds his life tough? I want to wake to a happy day with a smile on my face. I want to do things in my day. Is it my day off? I will go somewhere and enjoy it with my family. Is it a normal working day? Then I will try to do my best at work, also sort out the house, and all the paperwork that needs to be done. Thigs I can do today, I will not leave them for tomorrow. I also like spontaneity, idea’s that come out of nowhere. I can get very excited about a plan that I just thought of and go hundred present for it or can spend the whole evening thinking it through. Shon, in contradiction, is more laid back. In his day off he would not mind watch TV whole day. I know he would love to spend some quality time with the family as well, however I do not see him being initiative on that part (or really at the moment, and perhaps in the future, simply not having the material ability to. He will think about his future plans once and will not try to change them. How quick he will achieve them does not seem to have an impact on him. He will do everything step by step. I sometimes catch him not thinking a few steps ahead; therefore he will face some obstacles which will slower the process. I then tend to think, why didn’t you figure this out earlier? I have come to that stage that I try not to care about his things. I say to myself, he knows what he is doing and he is doing it his way, he is going to be fine. However, this difference in thinking I believe shows we are different. There is nothing wrong with being different, you would say. No, there are always differences between two people. Yes, however, I would like to be with someone who is more like me and perhaps even a few steps ahead of me.

Shon is not your kind of man and that keeps you anxious (your writing suggest that you have lot of anxieties). Differences in your natures can be worked out through counseling, provided both of you are ready for that. Otherwise, you may have to go ahead searching your kind of man or get treated for anxiety.

Sir I am 22 year old guy pursuing 4th semester of my MBA. Now a days, I am in a serious problem as placement season is going on, companies are continuously coming but I am not getting shortlisted for any company and the result is I am totally frustrated, losing my confidence and Concentration in my every work. Apart from all, the most serious problem happening with me these days is that in the night, I suddenly lose my sleep and getting attracted to one of my room-mate, I mean problem of attraction to same sex. I have touched his body parts for 4-5 times without his information and after doing so I feel guilty and promise myself to control this, but I couldn’t. It is the first time happening with me. I am unable to understand the situation I am in these days. When I also think about this I lose my concentration in study and confidence on me. Sometimes, wrong ideas come into my mind also. Please tell me what this problem is about and give me the solution otherwise it can affect my life badly.

It seems that you are developing depression please consult a psychiatrist nearby.

I have everything in my life I ever wanted. A great family, my husband respects, loves, and supports our son and me. However sex is another story. Before we got married we had sex often. Afterwards I began to work as a teacher and he works at a food place. Our schedules are completely different. After that sex was once a month. While I was pregnant he felt uncomfortable having sex. Then we did not have sex for 6 months. He says he is stressed with the business since he is the manager/waiter/Mr. fix it/ whatever they need. I’m not sure what to do. Before we have sex, it always seems we have a talk where things are going to change but they don’t. With all of this I am angry all the time hoping that the next day will be the one where he will initiate sex and not push me away. When we do make love it is great. But what can I do or he does to make our sex life better? Please help. 3 years of marriage.

You really need to sit together and work out on the issue. Stress can be cause behind this but it cannot be the only cause. Improve your bond through healthy communication, care and concerns. If he feels tired of work then change the time of sex, may be early morning.

I have a relationship with a girl for about three months (not sexual). Both of us are in love but the problem is that we became friends through chatting and a few days ago I saw her picture, she looks too young and although she says that she is 18 but she looks like a 12 year old. And one is for sure, she is very immature! I’m sure she’s not lying but still she looks very young to me. I don’t feel good about it! I think I’m not of her age, but I don’t want to hurt her too. Now I have exams from tomorrow and I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t even study properly like I used to, my grades are affected very badly. I can’t prepare myself for my finals. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I told her that I’m going to turn off my cell, then after an hour I turn it back on! Please help

Once you have an emotional attachment with each other, you cannot back off without hurting her. You should have exchanged your photographs early in the relationship. Now that you want to concentrate on your exams, it is going to be difficult while you are emotionally disturbed. Do not take any step (like switching off your mobile) until your exams gets over, then after you take your final decision.