I m married for the last 15 years. We both are educated and working. My husband is not open to talk. Four years back two times I have caught him with other women. Still I forgave him as I have two emotional weaknesses, my son and my parents. He gets angry without any reason and start abusing and saying that he wants to leave me. I cannot leave him, although I am quite independent and confident. He drinks a lot and normally loses his temper almost with everybody.
When you have caught him red-handed and that too twice, naturally he will be feeling defeated- frustrated from within. This might be resulting into the anger. Accepting your weaknesses in front of him will only give him chance to exploit you and that is what exactly he is doing. When he knows that you cannot leave him, he is threatening you that he wants to leave you!
Alcoholism may be root cause, effect or merely an associated problem. It needs to be tackled medically.
Hello Sir. Iâ€™m 24. Iâ€™m a model. My height is 5’8. And I want my height 6 feet. So is it possible to increase the height. I have searched some websites mostly informed that with help of stretching exercises height can be increase to 3 t0 4 inches. Is it true and effective? I am afraid that with this exercise the length of my neck can increase. How to increase real height? Please suggest me.
It is not possible to increase your height at this age.
Hi Dr Hansal, I am male, age 29 working in a govt agency. I have got married last yr June and have completed one and a half yr of marriage. I got married to the same girl with whom I was in a steady relationship since 2002. I donâ€™t know now whether itâ€™s me or her to blame for the terrible relationship as a husband and a wife we have between us. It all started last year when my parents joined me for their treatment for arthritis and dad for pacemaker check up. The frequency between my mother and my wife didnâ€™t match which resulted in their being thrown out of my house by my wife and her father who is also posted here. Actually my parents are very simple and they donâ€™t speak much thatâ€™s one of the reasons why they accepted going away from my house. We are from a poor family when compared to my wifeâ€™s family. And her father keeps on reminding me of that. It was a very painful experience for me as I never ever even in my thoughts dreamed about all these things happening in my life. Somehow I overcame all these things. As per my wifeâ€™s version she was mentally harassed by my parents, which may be true but there were other ways of dealing with it but was not dealt with. Then for about 5 months or so we didnâ€™t have any sort of problems between us. But suddenly one fine day she stopped talking to me on some petty issue of coming late to pick her up from some place. This resulted in a quite a big quarrel between us where she resorted to abusing me in all possible ways and threatening to divorce me. Somehow again I accepted my fault (as per her) and bent on my knees not to leave me and go to her fatherâ€™s place every now and then. All went up fine after I was compelled to apologize from her and her father. In December we had planned to go to her hometown as she said, but my fatherâ€™s pacemaker developed a problem due to which I had to move in two days, she again snubbed me and cancelled the whole programme, as she doesnâ€™t even speak to my parents, in spite of my assuring her the visit as per plan. She is again not speaking to me and abusing me in all possible ways. She is also calling up her sisters and speaking all ill about me even to this effect that I am badly stuck at this manâ€™s hand, and I donâ€™t want a kid as he would leave me and many more. This has hurt me like anything. I have done so much for her , supported her in all possible ways, agreed to all things said by her, I mean has done whatever she has said but this is the outcome I am getting. I am very much mentally disturbed by this relationship but hesitate to take any drastic step as I love her a lot. I am confused. Please tell me what I should do. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide also as I know, I cannot do anything to bring back the happiness what we had between us. I feel that her father is the main culprit whoâ€™s been brain washing her every now and then. To tell you one more thing, her mother is mentally imbalanced as people say that her (my wifeâ€™s) father has beaten her up so much that she has lost her mental balance around 20 yrs back so she doesnâ€™t stays with him at this place and she resides alone at their ancestral place.
You did mistake by apologizing where you were not wrong. When you accept her bullies like this, it is at the cost of self respect. Now she knows that she is your weakness and you are not able to live without her, naturally she will show her attitude. You should make your stand absolutely clear on your parentâ€™s issue and should not tolerate her misbehaviour. Iâ€™m not telling you to fight with her but at the same time you have to defend your self-respect at any cost. While changing your attitude like this, she may throw tantrums against it. You have to be firm on your stand.
If her mother is suffering from some mental illness, then there is a possibility that she may have inherited bad temper or personality traits.
Dear Sir. The advice you gave me last time worked to a very great extent. Thanks a million Sir, for your valuable advice. I had written to you months ago regarding the below (mentioned in brief) â€œIt is about 5 yrs for my marriage, we have a child of 4 yrs. My husband refuses to have sexual relations with me for the past 4yrs due to the criticism made by his mother about me & my family. But more than me he loves his parents. He easily gets influenced with whatever she tells him. Her constant complains about my family has created hatred in the heart of my husband too, for my mother. He does not even allow me & my child to visit my parents.â€â€ On this Dr. you had advised me to be firm & tell my husband that I have responsibilities towards my parents also. I did so & my parents also came over to my house. This has now made a way for me & my child to visit my parents since one year. Thanks to you Dr. Thanks so much. But I now have a new problem related to this. Iâ€™m quite sure my husband sent me & my child, against his & his parentsâ€™ will, to my parentâ€™s house, though he never accompanied us on any occasion/ function. I used to go all alone since 1year. The problem sir is that after I come back from my parentâ€™s house, he behaves in a very strange manner, as though he is very sad because of my behavior. He has even recently stopped going out on Sundays with me & my child. He told me that he does not want me to visit them. He hates them a lot. I’m confused sir, whom do I choose? My parents or my husband, if I chose my husband (which I did in the past & which did hurt me a lot, as he still never had a physical relation” with me, I missed my parents, I felt left out) then my mother starts crying & longing to be with her grandchild. She then told me in the past that if she dies I should not come even for her funeral. I just donâ€™t know what to do sir, Iâ€™m fed up of all this. Iâ€™m pressed between both my husband & my parents. It irritates me when he is with his parents. I have never asked him to separate from his parents then why is he asking me to NOT even visit my parents. Is he emotionally blackmailing me? What do I do Sir? How do I handle this behavior of his? I’m confused sir, whom do I choose? Please help me sir, I need your help urgently.
Ignore his tantrums. Whenever you got to have this topic open, try to make him realize that you continue visiting them not to hurt him but you have to, because you feel morally responsible for this.
Sir, am born with 3 siblings. I am the last. I am very practical girl and I feel money is must in living very standard life. My parents are well off to offer. My problem is they are giving preference for boys than gals. I ask them to give assets in my name and get registered. I want to be done before my marriage. How should I approach them? They think that am keen on assets when others are keeping quite. The thing is already my 1st two of them have luxury houses in there name. I and sister are not having anything in our name. Only Jewellery. So how to approach them to give my things why should boys alone enjoying everything how can I make them to understand it.. thank you
Preference for a male child is an age old psyche of majority people (male and female both) so is the case with your parents. You can not compel them to give share from their assets. It is solely their wish. If they have inherited assets from your grand father then to get the share is your right and you can demand your share. Still you and your sister convince them for your share arguing that it can give you financial securities for difficult time.
Alternatively, make yourself capable enough to earn your livelihood and feel confident about yourself. Marry a man who can provide you financial and emotional securities. (As I guess, you are full of insecurities).
Joy and enjoyment of your own money is more satisfying then money you get as inheritance.
Hello sir, Iâ€™m married women since three years, having a baby boy who is one year old. My husband is in service so we are not living with my in laws. But we used to visit there place every alternate weekends. I and my husband, we both love each other. He is very caring, loves me, adjustable in nature; but my in laws keep interfering in our life. Even in every daily decision. They keep calling us every day and want to control my home. I cope with these situations as much as I can, in 90% cases. But Iâ€™m really fed up. My husband respects and loves his parents a lot. I understand every son does this. But now we have family. We have son and I really want to get rid of this problem. Even when my son was born, he wanted to take along my son with them. I took hard words against them then he stopped. Iâ€™m worried about future when our son will be older, he will surely make him on his side. They are very clever; they used to take me like a beautiful showpiece in living room. plz advice me what should I do. I have to take some action alone bcoz I know my husband is not going to support me..plz help.
If your husband is loving, caring and adjustable then where is the confusion?! Just talk to him about your worries and concern about their over involvement in your personal life. Any caring husband will think sensibly on the issue. If he does not cooperate then you have to develop an attitude to ignore them in certain interferences. Do not worry about what will happen when your son grows old because they will also grow old and weak. At the same time you need to respect them and involve them in certain important decision of your life. Their experience and attachment for their son will also be helpful in your life.
My penis is slightly bent. What should I do? I do a lot of masturbation.
Bending is normal. You do not have to do anything; it will not affect your sexual life by any means. Masturbation has nothing to do with it.
Hello!! I firstly thank you for all your efforts, your service to the needy, approaching you whatever way. My question – How can a woman overcome emotional dependency?
We consider emotional dependence as emotional weakness but to be emotionally dependent is basic tendency of women. It is not a weakness; it is the way she relates to their dear ones. Any woman who wants to overcome emotional dependence means she is not happy with that relation; otherwise, she enjoys being emotionally dependent. This gives her sense of security. However if she wants to overcome this, she has to develop masculine aspects of her personality. She has to be in love with herself and financially independent too.
Hello Sir, I love a man who is married. 2 yrs before we worked together in the same office. I was aware that he is married before starting relationship with him. We both decided to maintain relationships with certain limitations and restrictions. He also loved me a lot as well as his wife too. All went well for 5 yrs. Before a year he met with a severe accident and my problem started after that. Now he has resumed his duty and recovering slowly. But now he is forcing me to forget all and to be just good friends. I love him a lot and accepted him as my husband in front of God. Now it is impossible for me to forget all . Also he is saying me to get married with someone else for better future. But he is my life and I can not live without him also I can not just be his friend. I am in great confusion. He also accepts that he loves me but it will be better for me to get married somone else. Sir, I love him a lot and really I can not imagine my life without him. In past our relationship had never disturbed his married life. Even I also respect his wife & his family. What should I do ? pls advise
You should have prepared for this right from the beginning of your relationship with a married man. Sooner or later this has to come to an end. The best thing is to accept that ride is over, walk away without keeping any strings attached. DO NOT STAY IN TOUCH BY ANY MEANS, even if he wants to be in touch. I know it’s going to be difficult and painful but this will surely prevent future emotional mess in your life.
Hello doctor, I am Hindu religious family. Before marriage I had no knowledge of sex. After marriage my husband was interested but I rejected it. I was not free with him and was afraid of having child due to sex. But now 2 year passed my husband interest regarding sex and towards me in sex matter is becoming nil. And I am also not enjoying b’coz of dry vaginal area and some other problems.
Sex is one of the most important requirements for healthy married life. When you kept on rejecting it for two years, your husband is bound to lose his interest. You should have taken the psychiatrist’s help much earlier. Your vaginal dryness may be a part of lack of your desire to have sex. You have also mentioned about other problems, consider taking help of psychiatrist (for emotional issues) or Gynecologist (for physical problems), if you cannot resolve them on your own.