I am businessman of 40 yrs, happily married till 2 months back. I have a son 12 yrs, adopted daughter 8 yrs. I read a sent sms in my wife’s mobile `I love u, you r my valentine’ on 14th Feb. sent to my best friend, very rich & handsome. When I asked her, she accepted it. I told her if he also agrees I will be away from your path. She said he hasn’t responded. I called him to meet us .He came immediately. He scolded her & told me that there was never such thing between them. He told me that she phoned me 1 month back, told that I am going in depression & I don’t want to take medicines. Hence I started telling her positive thinking on phone. (She was under depression for 10 yrs). There was never a subject of love between their talks. He says he is not interested even in speaking with her. There is no sexual relationship between them. But she says that I should allow her to speak with him once daily as it increased her confidence level & the talks are purely friendly. But my friend now denies talking w/her as he is married & is not interested. a psychiatric counselor told interviewed all the threes told me that there is all the truth & my wife needs psychiatric treatment as there is nothing to interpret as love between them. I consulted a psychiatrist who is confused whether it is a love affair or delusion of love (erotomania).he has started her on tab.lithium since 8 days, without her knowledge as she refused treatment. Response is good. So what can be future problems? Can she be mine again (she says I love u 100%).can there be progressive relationship between two of them? we all live in same city & our families are good friend.

When non-qualified person tries to counsel mentally ill person, there is always a risk like this. (Mentally ill will become dependent on them or develops emotional attachment and untrained counselor does not know what to do). I think your friend has learned this lesson hard way and that is why he is not interested in talking to her now. I do not think that there can be further progress between them as your friend was never interested in her. Follow the advise of your psychiatrist, he will take care of her.

I am a 24 year old male. I am quite fat and hugely overweight. I do not have a girl friend and I’m very mentally upset and frustrated of not having frequent sex as all my friends have sex with their girlfriends. Please help. How can I overcome my sexual frustration? I fear going to prostitutes due to reputation loss. Kindly advice.

Put sincere efforts to reduce your weight. To satisfy your sexual needs masturbation is the only option left with you at present.

I was in love with a girl and she was a very good friend of mine, but I being an introvert was never able to express my feelings to her. Now she has got married and I have stopped communicating with her. Now I keep on comparing my wife with that girl (in my mind only) and repent on my decision, how can I stop this thing?

Life is about grabbing and missing opportunities we come across. We accept this sooner or later, under the name of destiny. You missed the opportunity to express your love because of your introvert nature, now accept it as your destiny. This is the healthiest way you can console yourself.  Comparing your wife with her will only ruin your present and future life. You should also remember that you are comparing two different people in two different situations and roles. There has to be number of differences. Your self talk should involve these types of facts, all the time. Gradually you will be able to come out of this.

Hello doctor, I am 23yrs old girl. I have loved a guy for the past 9 years. My family accepted my affair and going to get me married in another 9 months. My problem is different. I am the last child in my family. I have two elder brothers who are married. We all are living together. My problem is, my brother’s wife (both) is not behaving properly with my mother. Still my brothers want my mom to do all work for them and my mother is also doing it. If I ask anything to do for me she is not doing. Often my mother complaint about my brother’s wife to me and it makes me irritate and I advice my mom to do some actions but she refuse to do. By seeing all these things in my home I get irritated and often shout at everyone in my home and lost my control. If I get anger my mother shouts me alone and my father gets upset of my behaviour. They are not accepting my problem and shouting at me. What to do sir? I want to be very calm and I should not interfere in any issues like these in future. How to do it? pls guide me sir. Waiting for your help sir.

Cause of your irritation is frustration resulting from your helplessness over the situation. Probably, your parents have accepted their situation and that is why they are getting upset with you. Try to accept their nature and do not struggle to change them by opposing aggressively. Only difference, if at all can be made in their behaviour, can be made by their husband or by themselves!

1] When I see my face in the mirror, I think it’s not me. Whose face is this? I am very confused why I think like that? 2] Why I think about others? Why I don’t think about myself? Why am I caring about them without any relation? 3] My friends think I am gay, but I am not gay. They laugh on me. Many a times I think if they say like that then there is problem in me, tell me what should I do? 4] I always think who I am. I think I am abnormal, psychic person and I think I should die. If u will not reply my answer quickly, I will die. I need someone who will solve my all these problems. Please help me doctor.

You may have some psychiatric problem. Please consult Psychiatrist near to your place.

Greetings, I am into a committed relationship for the past 8 years. My fiancé has several female friends, among which one is very close to him. She is also a light friend of mine. But my fiancé cares for her a lot as she belongs to a weak family and is working hard to survive. But I have a doubt on their relationship. I and my fiancé had several arguments on this issue. Now-a–days, he has started hiding things from me. He goes to watch movie with this girl, writes to her from secret e-mail IDs, etc. But the girl tells me everything. These things disturb me a lot. What should I do?

If girl is telling you everything that means she might not be interested in him but he might be one who is interested more in this. You can ask that girl to pressurize him to involve you in outings which he offers to her. Moreover, she should never miss a chance to refer you in her interactions with him. This can constant reminder to him about his married status and her disinterest in any other relations.

Dear doctor, I m 35 yr married woman. Have a son of 6yr.I m very ritual, believe in god. I’m from a middle class family. In my childhood I was very particular about cleanliness. Used to clean everything more than anyone else. In every matter I always think a lot. Perhaps this took form into a psychic problem. Now I don’t get satisfied without washing my clothes many times. If one dirty cloth by chance gets touched by a clean cloth, I clean that clean cloth again with surf (again in the normal way of washing). After guests leave, I clean every thing they have touched; thinking they must have touched many things outside. I & my husband consulted a psychiatrist and he said it is ‘suchibai’ disease (in oriya).He gave me these medicines. But he said that these medicines can only control the disease. There is no cure of this disease. I feel sleepy when I take the medicine. Gradually the problem is increasing. I want to apply surf again and again to the same cloth. At last I recite the ‘Gayatri Mantra’ while washing to be satisfied. I now hate Muslims. If they touch any cloth, then I feel it dirty. And any other cloth that comes in contact with that cloth directly or indirectly, I feel that dirtiness gets transferred. I clean all those clothes. I always think negatively. Heard elders saying “Don’t laugh more, you will cry later”. So in times of happiness I don’t be much excited because I fear of bad time in future. I think about my future and fear. I often remember my past and cry. I always want to remain in my past. I used to write poems. All my poems have a tragedy theme. Now days I think of dying. Why should I live? Everyday when I wake up I get fear in mind – “Oh God ! One more day! So many work!”. I have got frustrated from this life. Everyday the same things, same work – eat – bath – keep home clean – sleep. “Why then should I live long just to repeat the same work everyday??” Only when I see my son’s face I want to live for him. He is the only reason I am living for. I am fed up of life. What should I do? Please help me out!

You are suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Depression. Consult Psychiatrist, this is treatable. If you take regular medicines for a long time (min 2 years) and go for psychotherapy, you will improve much faster. If your current Psychiatrist is not giving you hope, go to some other Psychiatrist. Just be after your illness, you will definitely improve.  
 
 
 

 

Hello Sir, I am 30 and my wife is 29. We get married on March 2009, and because of some birth problems she got aborted in last week. From the starting days of our marriage she is asking for a child and after the abortion also she needs a child urgently she is not ready to maintain a gap of 1 year or 6 month. And every day because of certain reasons we start fighting and after she starts crying. As character wise she is very lazy she do all the work in the home and she is no interested to go for job she watches films and serials in TV.

I think she is suffering from Depression. Consult Psychiatrist nearby. Avoid pregnancy for at least 6 months otherwise chances of abortion is high.

I am married from 4 years and things are getting worst between me and my wife, I required marriage counsellor

Tell me where do you stay?

I was in acquaintance with a girl at my office. She was working in a different department and I used to meet her regularly. She never showed genuine interest although at times she used talk to me officially. I got to know a colleague is behind her for quite sometime. Both of them are working for > 3 yrs in the same Co. I joined recently last October’08 have seen him many times with her at work. He is actually a friend of mine who got me into the Co. via influence. I had to leave abroad as soon as I joined for a transition. Before leaving I told her about my interest towards her and also about my previous setback(ex-girlfriend). I also called her couple of times while I was away. But I couldn’t express or talk anything personal. While I came back to India. I gave her some gifts and chocolates. But never was able to express my feelings for her. When I called her out she denied couple of times indicating my friend’s presence. It got me frustrated and I was also not happy with the job or the Co. Once I proposed her via message. She sent that message to my friend. Then me and my friend had a fight literally. My work was getting affected and also I was not enjoying my Job or the Co. I decided to quit. She was not happy about it. Since then she doesn’t like to talk to me. When ever I try to call her, I hear a guy speaking to me. He also called to my house and has complained to my parents. I have lost control in life and not able o forget her. She is reminded to me via different ways and sources. I started messaging to her recently. She doesn’t reply to it. I even sent a mail to her. She replies to me in a -ve manner. I am unable to forget her. I do not even have a Job now. I have already quit 3 BIG MNCs’ ( due to personal reasons) and unable to get a suitable job now. What do I do now ?

Why you want to go after a girl who does not have any feelings or respect for you! Accept that she is not interested in you and you can do nothing about it. Find out suitable job for you and start working. It is not a matter of forgetting her, it is a matter of accepting that you are rejected. Sooner you accept the fact better your future will be!