How can I get help in removing bad memories from my wife’s memories? She keeps on getting upset about her past memories…. Pls help

Past keeps on haunting if it is bad and emotionally laden, More so with females. Forgetting is an automatic process. You can speed this automatic process by making her present pleasurable. If she is ruminating her past, do not nag her for not coming out from her past. On the contrarily you can make her aware that at some point of time she has to decide that how long she wants to suffer. Understanding like this can take her attention to present and she can hasten forgetting process. Psychotherapy and self hypnosis may help.

I want to know if there would be any changes to the sexual organ of a female, I mean will be the Vagina grows in size since I have been having sex from past 2 yrs with my bf whom unfortunately I cannot marry. I am asking this becoz I dont want my future husband to doubt me !!! Please Help You need not to worry on this issue. Two years is too short period to cause noticeable difference in vaginal laxity. He wont come to know about your previous sexual acts simply by having sexual acts with you.

You need not to worry on this issue. Two years is too short period to cause noticeable difference in vaginal tone. He wont come to know about your previous sexual acts simply by having sexual acts with you.

Hello Dr. Just flipping the pages of ‘femina’ magazine, I came across this website and thought of surfing through it. After having a look at it for about a while I was surprised to see that you literally advice and help people and those people have actually found solutions to their problems. Hats off to you sir!! Coming to my problem, it’s a peculiar one. I am married since one year now. My husband and I decided to have kids after a year. Because of certain insecurities or lack of knowledge, my husband was afraid to have intercourse. Time fled and gradually we were only involved in foreplay and he ejaculated after rubbing the penis on vagina with clothes on. (He also had insecurity in using condoms) Now, after one year had passed, we decided to have proper intercourse, but before planning we decided to visit our doctor since I have hypothyroidism. Doctor suggested me to reduce at least 10 kgs weight before conceiving. (Currently my weight is 71.5 kgs). When we actually tried to have intercourse we were unable to find a situation in which insertion can take place. We have just tried once till now. Does this happen with everyone? How much time will we take to have proper intercourse? Can you please guide me as to how to reduce weight? If I conceive with this weight, will there be any problems (to me or to the new life)? Does hypothyroidism has any effect on the pregnant woman or to the baby inside?

It is strange that you did not have intercourse for one year and that too out of ignorance! Anyway, every novice couple may have problem with proper insertion. Do not get impatient; it is a matter of practice and gaining experience after each act.
Hypothyroidism usually causes weight gain. You may find enormous advises on how to lose weight. I will tell you three simple things. Proper control of thyroid function. Stop sugar in all forms (body will start utilising fat). Start exercising; at least 40 min/day (gradually reach to 40 min target). Anything more than these will add to your benefits.
You may conceive with this weight and hypothyroidism is not going to bother much under medical supervision.

Respected Sir, I am masturbating since age of 10 on &off basis (now 27yrs male) and length of my penis is 4 inches after erection &girth is also less. I feel some transparent lubricant (Not semen) is coming out from my penis with or without erection while taking to my girlfriend or doing something pertaining to sex. I asked to my married friend. He does not have this problem. Please advice is it normal or can cause any kind of problem and length &girth is normal or not.

Everything is normal with you. Transparent fluid is prostatic fluid which comes out on excitement in some males. It is also normal.Type word masturbation in search box of the site (on your right side top) and then click go. You will get all answers on masturbation.

Respected sir, I’m d fan of your column in guj samachar. As many of young girls, I’m also facing a problem regarding my relation with my dear one. It has been very difficult for me to judge that if my dear friend thinks seriously about our relation or not. We were very close friends before some time; I felt some times that he had feelings for me. I also felt same, before 3 months I told him about my feeling and proposed him. He gave me positive reply too, and then we had lovely talks on phone regarding our love for a few days. But the main problem started when I asked him to meet my parents. We both belong to a different caste and diff family status. After some days, he suddenly stopped calling or messaging me. Whenever I asked about our future, he couldn’t give me satisfactory answer and told me to leave it upon time. Another and main problem is that when we were just close friends, he was very near to me; he sent lots of msgs and care for me until I proposed him. He was very frank to me and never hides anything in spite his friends told him to do so. But after I proposed, I lost my dear friend too. Now he rarely sends me msgs and has stopped calling me. When I asked about, he always ignores me. He means a lot in my life. After he met me, my point of view to life has totally changed. He never tried to flirt. Initially he asked to meet me and spend some romantic moments together, but after I refused, he never forced. He’s not a liar and is not cheating me at all but has really lack of strength that a boy should have in his love life. I always told him frankly as a friend that it’s not necessary for him to feel same like me. He can refuse and still we can remain dear friends. But…I’m much tensed nowadays. It was really a great time to be friend of him. But as I desired to make my friend a family, I lost a real friend too. Now hardly we talk by msgs. He replies very rare. He’s trying to avoiding me. Pls sir, can you help me out? I’m really much tensed. Is he really loves me or not? He told that he’ll ask for me in his family after some time but he knows the chances to accept us are very rare and he’s not willing to go against his family. We had not even any romantic meeting till now. We just met 2-3 times occasionally and our friendship grown by calls and msgs. He’s really supported me many times when I really needed a friend. When my family member had a problem and I was alone to face it all, he gave me real support and strength without any expectation. Before I met him, I never knew what love was. I always laugh at people in love and told that it’s not a thing for intelligent people. Our friendship was going on very nicely. I thought that I got everything now. We were really frank to each other. I regret for my feeling now. I’ve lost the person dearest after parents. Can you judge what he might be thinking? Shall I ever get my dear friend back? pls answer me sir. I’m really a strong girl and had faced many difficulties in life with strength and courage. I never lost at all despite of failure in some field. but this time I can’t control myself. I felt sometimes that I’m finished mentally. Please show me the way that I can get my dear friend back. He’s my real strength. Pls help me sir. I’ll be very thankful to you. I also can’t concentrate on my career.

Thanks for appreciating my articles.
All signs you have narrated are going in favor of loosing interest in relationship. Accept this. I understand that he has been a great emotional support to you but you can not compel some one to do that. I do not think that people get back in to the same emotions, once drift apart emotionally. Even though, you may try to get him back by maintaining simple relation with him. Do not ask or try to drag him in emotions. If he has to come back, he will come back emotionally. Sooner you accept this, lesser will be the pain.

Sir, I am from Mumbai. I liked a guy before 3 yrs, who was my elder sister’s boy friend. The guy used me physically (by phone), I also gave him scope. But he loved my elder sister. But after 2 yrs they broke up, and my sister told she will never contact with that guy. Now I love a person dedicatedly. He knows everything about my past. My sister is now contacting with that guy and they have set up everything. I loved her so much. Now I can’t talk to her properly which is hurting me a lot and disturbing me to concentrate in my work. Is she right? I can’t forgive myself, for the past. Please help me.

It is not your sister, it’s him who cheated you and took your advantage. Terminate all sort of relationship with him. Forgive yourself for this and move ahead in life.

Dear Sir, first of all I want to appreciate you that you are doing a wonderful job. Sir I’m a married women of 38 yrs, good looking and educated. My husband is a very dry person. He is also not emotionally attached with me. He is least interested in sex as well. I’m a normal human being with the desires as well. I have spent many lonely nights, in spite of being married. I have never spent a single night which is memorable to me. He does sex like a burden. I’m a cheerful person. I like to enjoy life but he is least interested. He doesn’t have friends also. I like a guy who says he loves me. Can I go with him to fulfil my emotional and sexual desires? plz advice

In most of the extra-marital relationships, women want emotional support and men want sex. You will get sexual satisfaction but emotional satisfaction is not guaranteed. In future if he will start avoiding you, which is usually happens when he is sexually done with you, then you may get feeling of used up. Moreover if he is married then his first priority will be his wife and not you. If you are ready to accept this fact of life then and then you should go ahead.

I am hoping you will have a moment to provide me with your perspective. I’m sure you have heard this a thousand times but I saw your site and would like your advice. My wife has never really been interested in intimacy (making love). I have only been with her and she with me. Married 27 years Two high school boys We met in college We get along great Our current ages 45 Frequency twice a month She is a daily runner We have discussed it and it just have never been important I don’t know why but for some reason, I just seem to feel I not only want higher frequency but want the intimacy to be deeper. I want her to want it as well and be excited about us being together. We enjoy the love making but she says infrequently is fine for her. We both work – We both help out around the house (dishes, laundry, yardwork, kids) What do you suggest? Seriously interested in your advice Thank you in advance

Sexual Desire has mainly physiological and psychological components. If it is right from the beginning of your relationship then possibility of psychological reasons are more likely. In-depth analysis of her rearing, sexual orientation, childhood sexual experiences (sexual abuse) etc is required. She may be suffering from Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. Psychiatric evaluation can throw light on this. Moreover you may think of getting her Thyroid Profile as a rare possibility Hypothyroidism may be the reason. Although having two children after her low desire rules out any major hormonal problems.


Sir, I’m 19 yrs old. The problem is, I met with an accident few months ago and suffered minor pelvis fracture. In MRI scan report, it is identified that I have a cyst in my left ovary; will that cause any hindrance for my pregnancy after marriage? I’m very confused and worried about this. Please do reply me.

Sometimes cysts cause difficulties in getting pregnant. It depends up on the type of the cyst. Kindly consult Gynecologist nearby for finer details about your problem.

Sir, I am in love with one girl, but she already have boyfriend. She knew it that I love her. We were good friends but problem started when I came to know that she is having another friend who is working in our office only. I objected her behavior towards him, but she said like you he is also my friend. After that our office location changed (not her friend’s). There she and her boyfriend started receiving some abusing and vulgar mails from my IP (PC). But she didn’t tell me that. I also started receiving some mails, threatening me to keep away from her. I couldn’t make complaint because it was also same from my PC only. After some days I got mail in which my & her pictures were there, which was nude (edited). He threatened that he will send these photos to my home. I ignored it but he really sent it to my home, it was my luck that no one had opened it. Again I got mail, asking me for 20000rs otherwise he will send this picture to her boyfriend and her home. She also doubted me only because she is also getting mail from my pc only. I paid 20000rs as I have no choice. After that I started receiving mails from my friend’s ID only I was shocked when I told her about it she said I only hacked her password and I am only doing all these. I asked my friends help who is in police also, he sent a mail to email address from which I am getting mail, that he should stop all this otherwise he will be in trouble. After that I stopped getting mail. But my friend’s behavior towards me is very harsh, she hates me. I couldn’t laugh from last 6 months. I think I am psychic. Don’t know what to do?

If your mail ID was hacked then you should have complained earlier to authorities. You did another mistake by giving 20000, instead you should have done police complaint. When she is involved with other guys and having hatred towards you, you should try to come out of this relationship.