Hello sir my name is Sheena. I am a commercial pilot but there are no jobs right now .I’m getting frustrated day by day. I can see my dad worried for me, this makes me more frustrating ,my nature has started changing I get angry faster. I don’t know what to do. I repel people because of my irritating and frustrated nature. Please tell me how I can improve my nature?

Frustration produces aggression in human nature. Work on your feelings of frustration and try to accept your current situation. Put your best efforts to find out the job and leave rest to destiny. Do regular physical and mental exercises to reduce your irritation and increase your tolerance.

Hi, I’ve been seeing one girl for the past year. When we initially got into the relationship we both said it was for fun. But now things have got very serious and her parents want us to get married. The problem is; she has had a very promiscuous past, where she has been sexually active with more than 5 men. I don’t know whether I can deal with this and how to tell my family this?

Both of you were into the relationship for fun, then you need to understand that it cannot go long way. Particularly this is more so when you are aware about her promiscuity. You have to manage your parents, respectively; by whatever way you think the best e.g. faking break up etc. But clear opinion is not to marry with her, husband can never live comfortably with promiscuous wife even if it is her past. You and other readers may find it bitter but this is the fact of life.

I am 24 year old, well educated from top college of India working in Wipro right now, joined it 6 month ago. 1) I did my 10th from boarding school then I came back to Patna (native home).My brother suffering from Bipolar Mood disorder (mania).My father is also Doctor. His treatment is still going on from last 8 year. When I was doing +2 he was extremely violent to any extent like a wild animal. He hit me like animal once he started, and spend all my father money. We became financial so insecure also. I Prepare for various competition exam simultaneously and got good engineering college. I spend 3 yr with him. My brother also hate me because I am most ugly person of my family even my own brother-sister are very beautiful. Very contrast to me as everybody said. 2) I am not at all beautiful because of this am suffering from inferiority complex a lot. Basically of dark complexion. I always avoid meeting people. I hate my look .I don’t want to look myself in mirror. 3) Because of him we started to cut off from whole world. I have no any desire, gradually I became very introvert. (During my childhood days I was very naughty and talkative). 4) Now I fell in love with one person (now he is in Delhi and I m in Bangalore)…He always insisted me for sex…he talk to me only about physical. But I avoid him ….I supported him always emotionally… he also care about me.But I felt that he utilise me as for emotionally. Now I feel I cannot leave without him. (He always tell me on phone to put-off my cloth…Phone sex) I now feel very drag about him 5) I spend my whole life in hostel and never went home during holiday to home. 6) My boyfriend is very intelligent also in Wipro but he is sick about sex. 7) I have one very bad habit of masturbation which makes me very depressive. (Help me to get out from it) 8) I also suffering from grate mood fluctuation. Very happy to very depression. 9) I was student of pharmaceutical science and then join software due financial problem .even I scored in GATE -97.47 (PG entrance exam). I dropped my higher education. I face lot problem in office also which make me very frustrated. 10) I also became more frustrated because of other person behaviour towards me. My mind always talks to myself and talk make me very panic. AM I ALSO SUFFERING FROM MOOD DISORDER? NOW I WANT TO DO SOMETHING IN LIFE. I want to attain great height in life in spiritual world as well as in professional world. I am very emotional person. HELP ME.

Unfortunately, it seems that you are also suffering from Bipolar Mood Disorder, may be not as severe as your brother. This illness runs in family. You should seek psychiatric consultation to get further advice. As far as your boy friend is concern, you are emotionally dependent on him but he seems to be interested only in sex, leave him. It is better to suffer from break up than being used up.

I am a muslim boy with age 26 and i love a hindu girl of age 22. She loves me too. We both want to get married but my parents are against this. She is ready to convert to muslim religion. My problem is that how can I convince my parents and what to do as I love my parents very much. PLEASE SUGGEST.
You need to know that why your parents are opposing? Try to understand their perspective and then you can put your views to them. If you do not have ease of open communication with them then you have to take help of someone who can put up your feelings to them. Most of the time parents act in best interest of their child, you only need to understand what it is, with open mind!
However, I have always said in such type of cases, if you would have known beforehand that your parents would not agree to such relationship you should have talk to them before progressing. Most of the time this type of situations end up in the mess
We have recently shifted to Delhi in a very small house having two small bed rooms. I have my elder brother, my mom and pa in my family. My mom and pa are sleeping in one bedroom and my brother and myself sleeping in a single bed in another room. One day when I was preparing for my test in the night. I noticed erected penis of my brother which was coming out from the dhoti he used to wear. His penis was so large and attractive I could not stop myself touching it. I was so fascinated with it. I took his penis in my vagina. Since then we are daily having sex with each other without the knowledge of our parents. But love to have sex with him, but worried about thinking my future life when I would get married. You are requested to please advise what to do. Will my future husband able to find out the truth. I have no regret as far as our relationship is concerned the only fear is my marriage life. Please advice.

He may come to know from the way you respond during the sexual act with him as experienced female would respond differently than novice one, provided he is smart enough and also experienced.

I have a serious problem. I had an arranged marriage. Somehow I had a strong feeling that this guy was not interested in marriage. However, since our horoscopes matched both families went ahead. In fact I tried convincing my family and even asked him about it. But he said he was interested. Before fixing the marriage I had expressed my desire to continue my job that I had and they said they do not have any problem regarding that. Now both of us were working in call centers and that was one other reason for me to agree since both would leave at the same time and come back at the same time. But after marriage everything turned topsy-turvy. He had problems with my job. He said I need to work only for day shift so that I can be with his mother. I would have agreed had he been caring towards me. After marriage during the initial days at least the husband will show some interest in wife. But he never used to come to me. Even while leaving for job he would never tell me. Then we had big argument with him and his family for keeping my jewellery with his sister. Eventually I had to agree for sometime. Then I insisted to keep my jewellery in bank locker but he wanted to keep it under his name. Finally they agreed to keep it under joint account. Later the same issues on job popped up and he would threaten to throw me out of the house every now and then. Within one month of our marriage my parents were told to either ask me to leave job or take me away. I was mentally depressed and my mother asked my husband to drop me home. She thought when he will come there they will sort out problems but when we reached my place he didn’t agree to come home and just left me on the road. My family members and relatives tried talking to his family but they were very strong on their decision. And mainly it was his mother and sister who took decision for him. They never tried contacting my family initially thinking that we will eventually come begging to them which we didn’t. So finally one fine morning he called up and asked to solve the matter. But by that time I was not ready to go back. I got transferred back to where I was working before and continued there for the next 10 months. During that time my family was under pressure to send me back whatever the outcome may be. And so when he tried to compromise I was asked to go back and try to solve out things. So I left job and came back to his place. Now let me clear that earlier during that one month stay we hardly had any sex and even after I came back it was never satisfying. He wanted it just for his satisfaction. He never asked what my need was whether physically or regarding anything food, clothing or any thing. And always expected me to work at home. His mother would never do any thing and since I would finish up my task fast he thinks it is all done by his mother and she always keeps that impression in his mind that she always works and I sit idle. And he is such an egoistic person that he will never even take a glass of water himself. Now I was working hard to improve the relation and in between I felt that I was succeeding in it. He started showing me some compassion although not fully. One day he confided in me that before marriage he had an affair and he loved that girl very much. I learnt later that she got married only 5 months after our marriage. That was the time when I was at my maternal home. I didn’t ask anything about it and asked him to forget that episode since she was his past and I am his present. Now during these days I would also like to tell u that I used to visit a profile in orkut who approached me at the time of my break up with my husband. Now during that time itself I felt strongly that it is him although nowhere it was mentioned about his place or identity. Later I created a fake profile and established friendship and indeed the person gave me his phone number and the number turned out to be my husband’s number. In that profile I had seen him contacting many girls of indecency. So I tried to attract him with my offline messages and desired his wish to see me in real n have sex with me. That hurt me a lot since I knew he was cheating me although he didn’t know that this profile owner is in real his wife. I kept on messaging him without his knowledge through orkut. One fine day I told him that the person he used to message in orkut is me. At first he was in total disbelief and said tried saying it was created by his friend and his friend uses it. But then later admitted to it. He said he will never do those kinds of things again. Also I have noticed he was greatly interested in porn. Sometimes I would agree to watch films with him but tried telling him that real life is different and that we should try to improve it. He would keep on saying he is satisfied and likes the way it was. One fine day he said that he had created another profile in orkut under the name couples for friendship and that someone has contacted him. He said that the couple wanted to meet. I just said ok to see which level he takes it to. But to my surprise he agreed to meet that person and also wanted me to sleep with that guy so that he can sleep with the gal. In other words wife swapping. I didn’t agree. Then again after some days he came up with another couple and this time on some other pretext he took me and we met them. I didn’t agree to it. Again we met another couple. Then somehow after serious fights in between he stopped it. I don’t know but at least he doesn’t show interest in it. This was also because once he beat me up very badly while having an argument and for telling his mom not to interfere between us. So at that time I told his mom what he used to do. Of course, she never believed and always had the opinion that her son was the best. Now I am very worried. I don’t know what to do. These days he is showering very much love for me. He wants me to get pregnant and some how I have a strong feeling that he wants sex only to make me pregnant. We had visited gynec recently n I told her my story. She was first of the opinion that I should have baby and may be after the child’s arrival he will change. But when she had a talk with my husband she had changed her opinion. She was telling my friend who was working in the same hospital that its better I don’t get pregnant and I come out of this relationship. The worst is that my mother and brother who last month got married, knows everything and they are helpless and asking me to continue this relationship thinking of social stigma. And even I am confused as these days he appears to be caring. But yes, his habit of making profiles and calling up girls whom he had met only once doesn’t seem to fade away. Since he knew I don’t like it, He has started telling lies and also deletes the numbers from his phone list. What should I do? I need help very badly.

He does not have love and respect for you. He is not trustworthy also. Give some more time to this relationship (as you feel that he appears to be caring) without getting pregnant. If his attitude does not improve then it is better to get out of this unfaithful and humiliating relationship.

Respected sir, I masturbate at least 4-5 times a day. I am single and 19 years. I feel like having sex really badly. Is there any way I can overcome it and concentrate on my studies. I have attraction even to elder ladies who are in their 30s. What do I do to overcome all these?

Masturbation is normal physiological act. You may read about masturbation related answers by typing masturbation in search box of this site.
Looking at your daily frequency of masturbation it seems that you are compulsive masturbator. You need to practice self control to reduce its frequency. Having an attraction for women in their thirties is a matter of personal preference, nothing abnormal about it.

Sir, my problem is that generally I forget suddenly whatever I see. E.g. If I go to a mall, I enter from the main gate but I forget what was written on the gate or just side of the gate. And I am also having problem of night fall (seeing sexual dream).Please suggest me. Thanks.

Normally this type of memory issues is because of some psychological problems like Anxiety, Stress, Depression, Attention deficit etc. I need more detail to answer your question in detail.
Night fall is normal and the best treatment for night fall is regular masturbation! Do not think that I’m joking but this is what sexual medicine say. Once you start regular intercourse or masturbation night fall will stop.

I am 30 yrs old married male. For last few months I remember my past. I remember my old days when I was 10-12 years old (1990s age). I feel that may that time come again. I know that it is not possible at all. I feel that time should be hold/stopped. I am thinking that how young/child I was at that time (i.e. 1990s age)! Also I feel that, time is passing very fast and I am becoming old. I am afraid that my young look is getting old as the time passes. I want to remain young forever. I know that it happens with everyone and no one likes to become old. Nature does his work and we have to follow it. Though, these memories doesn’t relate with any good or bad incident. It is just related to my past day to day life when I was studying in school. People always think about future but for last few months I remember past. Though, remembering past doesn’t affect me in any type of bad way but I become emotional when I remember past. I always try to keep myself busy and active so these memories don’t come to my mind. However I want that when I remember past I should not become emotional and should not feel/want that past should come again. How can I come out of this situation?

You have developed obsession about the past. You need to relax and don’t have to do anything actively to drive out these thoughts. Try to ignore them or divert your mind whenever you become aware about drifting in the past. If you want to stay young forever then stop worrying about getting old. Even though age is a chronological phenomenon, aging is psychological and you can always defy your age by your mental attitude towards aging.

Respected Sir, I am in final year of engineering. In my college there is a girl whom I very dearly love. I have proposed to her and she had refused me. It’s 1 year and 7 months since then. But with time things have changed. I felt that her feeling towards me has changed. Whenever I thought that we were getting close I again expressed my feeling to her she would talk to me in a very rude manner. I love her and these things really hurt me, but still I am never able tell her anything inspite of her bad behavior. Well it’s been around three months since I last talked to her. She studies in my college and even if I see her I simply act as if she didn’t exist. Sir it has taken me a lot of time to have somewhat come out of this issue(though I am completely not out from it yet). Well the problem now that I see is I have become very short tempered .I am always angry and small things just ignite me. My behavior at times is very rough (I never hit anyone).I have developed a total negative attitude in life. I feel I can do nothing .I have very high aspirations but I am not able work for it. My mind keeps me preoccupied with those things she had told me, and I get very angry then. Her sight upsets me and the fact that I will be seeing her in college pisses me off. Well sir I have completely lost my self respect. People even in my family sometimes speak to me in a manner that is not acceptable to me. In other words I am only having a free fall and don’t know where this will lead me to. I hate myself for having loved someone so earnestly to whom I completely mean nothing. I am feeling frustrated sir. I see myself as a loser in life who is not able to achieve anything. Please help me if you can sir. I will be thankful to you.

You feel frustrated because you are not able to digest her rejection and that produces aggressiveness. Accept that she is not for you. Learn not to compromise with your self-respect.