Hello Doctor, I got married 11 years ago to my cousin. We never had good relationship with their family before my marriage. But on my mother’s force being elder in my family and 2 sisters following me I was forced to get married. And I feel at that age I was immature to get married. My husband had a premarital affair and that continued for some time. Thinking of families pride and my sister’s future, I bared lot of torture for myself. I’ve got 2 daughters and we were transferred to some other place. For 2 years we were fine. After that he started playing some gambling near his office, and used to come home late after boozing. Once he is drunk, he behaves very abnormally cursing my parents and provoking me also into his discussions. Slowly he sold a house given to me by my parents, my gold everything and we were into debts totally. And my parents stood by me thinking it was their fault to get me married. His parents also supported only him saying that it was my fault that I couldn’t control my husband in doing all these things. My husband never used to tell me about what he is doing outside the house. We kept him in a rehab center also for 2 months, but it was of no use. I started looking for a job thinking my children’s future. Then I got a govt. job in my native place after 10 years. My husband allowed me to join the job thinking that I would live with his parents, since they were staying in my home town itself. But my in laws didn’t allow me to stay with them and I some how managed to convince me to stay with my parents and do my job. I’ve put my children in school and they stay with me. It’s been 1 year now I’am doing my job and my job is in shifts. Every night my husband drinks and though he is far he speaks very badly on phones about me and my family. He calls up to the office and enquires about me. when ever I go to him he is normal. Day by day it’s been growing more and I feel I am also confused and mentally sick. It’s been more than 2 years he left us financially. He never tells about his income though he started going to office. He says to leave my job now and come to him. I am not able to decide anything. Please suggest.

You are staying with your parents and managing your own livelihood. There is no emotional bond between two of you. He is alcoholic and gambler. He has never treated you rightly. You married him in compulsion. What other valid reason you are looking for separation?! Never ever leave your job because financial independence is your greatest strength in this situation.

Dr. I am a diabetic and have sex on mind but unable to make love due Erectile dysfunction what medication can I opt for?

Longstanding and uncontrolled Diabetes can cause Erectile Dysfunction. Before you take medication for ED, you need to control your blood sugar. There are medicines available for ED but they have to be taken under medical supervision. You can consult Psychiatrist, Physician or your family doctor for the prescription and possible side effects.

I have been in a long distance (1 hour apart) relationship for 8 years now. I am almost done school and have a great job. My boyfriend decided he wanted to start his own business a year ago and said he does not want to commit unless he has a stable income. However, I feel like he is not giving his business “his all” and sometimes I wonder if he will ever get himself together. I worry about his spending habits because he is always going out with his friends spending money on dinners and it makes me feel like he does not give a shit about saving up for our future together. Sorry about the swearing, I love the guy more than anyone and I know he feels the same, but sometimes I feel like maybe he is just giving me excuses and really he has doubts about us or something… or else why would not you commit after 8 years???!!!

I also think that he is giving you an excuse as his attitude seems different then what he intends (i.e. stable income). Moreover 8 years is quite long time for commitment. Talk to him on this issue in a very clear manner, expressing your concern and doubts.

I fell in love with my good friend, but she did not accept me saying that she does not look at me that way. We continued being best friends, and I often kept on telling her about my feelings every now and then hoping that someday she will think differently of me. But now she has chosen someone else and that has broken my heart. I still love her too much but it’s difficult for me to see her go to someone else. She still says that I’m her best friend, but I don’t know what to do, since it hurts me being her friend now. She doesn’t want me to go away, but I’m not sure if we can continue our friendship. Please advice.

It is your fault, as she was very clear from the beginning. You should have accepted the fact while she repeatedly rejected your proposal. Now you have to decide whether you will continue to be with her as friend or not. She would insist to continue because she is clear from the beginning.

Hi. I’m a 17 year old girl. My boyfriend a Kenyan guy but the only problem is that my mother is racist. Therefore, she hates him. This is leading to many problems between both of us. She is not willing to accept the fact that he is my boyfriend. No one else in my family has a problem with this. She’s going mad whenever she sees him. What can I do to make her understand? I suffer from bipolar disorder and she says that’s the reason why I’ve fallen for such a guy. When she says such things, I really feel very bad.

Racial prejudices are difficult to resolve. I think to make her understand this can be real tough job.
It is not necessary that you are hooked up because of your illness. But try to take other people’s (those who know you well) opinion also. If they also feel that it’s true then give a thought to it. Otherwise if you are really comfortable with the guy then you may think of going ahead.

I am 21 yr old. My penis is small as compare to others only about 1 inch and after erection it will only 1 and half inch. I fear about my sex life. Will I be able to have sex with girl? Sir, pls suggest what should I do for enlarge the length of my penis. Is there any medicine to increase the length of penis or some type of physical exercise is needed to enlarge the penis. Is there is any treatment to solve this problem. I read 3 yrs before in the newspaper that a person suffering from small penis whose penis was enlarge after surgery by Russian Doctor, but it took 6 mths. Should I go for surgery or any other treatment? Should vacuum pump for penile exercise treatment will help to increase the length of my penis.

Length of penis has more impact on individual’s psyche than sexual life. Sexual satisfaction depends more on quality of the act than length of penis (if length is so important to females then they would have preferred artificial penis then males!). There is no medicine or device for increasing the length of penis, it is natural. All advertise regarding this, is cheating. Surgery is very occasional option and that too if it is jointly advised by Psychiatrist and Urologist.

I love a guy, but he is married. I feel very insecure. Neither can I leave him nor can I live with him. He never left his family for me. And I can’t live with this. What shall I do? I want to live with him life time.

As he has never left his family for you, he wants to keep relations with you without disturbing his family life. If you can digest this fact then you may go on continuing this relation with secondary status (primary is his family). Otherwise, accept the fact that to live with him is your wish and not his. Try to prepare yourself to leave him. You should try to find someone who can give you emotional security as well as socially acceptable committed relationship.

Respected Sir, I am a Post Graduate student. I feel discomfort in speaking to others. All my friends say that I am always in a tensed mood. That’s true. My biggest problem is I can’t say my name if somebody asks me. I can speak to others with confidence but I regret in saying my Name. Recently a match has come to me. The boy asked me my name. I couldn’t say my name. Sir, please help me out. I have got high regards for you.

It seems that you are having Anxiety Disorder, more of social anxiety. You required to undergo in-depth analysis and counselling. Consult psychiatrist nearby or try online therapy.

Dear Dr. I was surfing the net for various sex problems and that is how I got into this site. It seems to be very useful as I have read a lot of questions and answers. I like the way you advise people. Now coming to my problem, I am of age 25 and recently married. It was a love marriage and after 2 years. My parents were not willing at first and as time passed they accepted my choice. Now after getting married, my penis is not erecting fully when I try to insert. I never had the problem like this when I used to masturbate. But when I have sex with my wife this is happening. I thought it is because I am doing it for the first time and later on things will get better. But it seems things go on worsening. I am working offshore and go home for leave every 2 months. I have heard that people working offshore faces such problems, is that true? Also heard that if we are having a habit of watching porn movies this can happen. Kindly advise me on this problem and give a solution. Is there any natural way to cure this? If so kindly advise.

As you are getting full erection during masturbation, you do not have serious problem. Because you go home every 2 months, you are under the pressure to perform. This performance pressure is the root cause of your problem. With every failure, your pressure is going to increase and your problem is worsening. Do not worry and be apprehensive about your performance, just relax yourself. Do not try to perform for initial day or two. This will reduce your pressure. You may take medicines to get erection under medical supervision for a week or so, few successful acts (even with the help of medicines will boost your confidence). Watching porn movies cannot lead to this problem.

Sir, I love a girl. i proposed her and she accepted. When I discussed the matter with my parents, they readily agreed to our relationship .but her mother denied even after much persuasion. So my parents finally forced me to marry and I did so in last June. The girl I love is very good and sensitive. Her parents are divorced; she was brought up by her mother. She is the only child of her parents. I thought I must give her emotional support and continued my relationship. Instead of bringing her out of trauma, we developed more intimacy. Now she forces me to marry her. Please help me, because I am in a fix.

Thinking of getting married to that girl is out of question as u cannot do this to some innocent person like your wife. It was your mistake that after marriage u continued this relationship. Why should your wife pay the price for that? Accept that you are a married person now and you should not carry on with relationship, Start withdrawing yourself from the relationship to complete break up. No strings should remain attached otherwise emotional issues will entangle you.