I have passed 12th this year and I observe that I feel more comfortable in the company of children much junior to me. This has been going on since more than 2-3years. Now I feel uncomfortable in interacting with teachers, parents, grandparents. When I meet strangers I cannot talk for long.

Please let me know about your educational performance up till now. Low intelligence and social phobia are amongst the important causes of this.

Sir, I am a big fan of yours.I have confusion about the following- I am engaged since 9 months,my fiance lives alone because of his job in an another city so he is not able to live with my in-laws.After marriage his mother wants me to live with them but as I have to continue my studies at the same city as that of my fiance,my parents told them that I would live with my husband in future. Since then my mother-in-law has stopped receiving my calls .Me and my fiancé are in a healthy relationship,but because of this behavior of his mother I have a confusion about to marry him or not? So what should I do?

First of all, you need to discuss this issue with your fiancé. If you have a unanimous thinking on staying together after marriage, both of you should go to your mother in law to discuss what you think as a couple.
Without resolving this issue,you cannot think of proceeding further into the relationship, because this type of conflict can be a source of disturbances in the future.

Hello Doctor, I’m in big problem. I use to be very thin till 2 years back. I am married since 6 years. 1st year everything was good. But one day in a small fight my husband told me that I’m flat from back and front top like a bidi. These words have changed my entire life. Now 4 years passed but still I’m in pain. Now I’m not thin but little slim. Now main problem is I love him so much and don’t allow him to watch vulgarity on TV, Movies, Newspaper. I take lot of pain to cut pictures of models from The Times Of India. I also lock the channels like AXN, HBO. Etc… I get hurt when intentionally or accidentally he watches girls with cheap dresses. He loves me and now understands and co-operates with me. But also it turns into big fights on few occasions. I don’t like when he watches girls with big bust. And I don’t allow him to come closer to me. Also I try to hide my body while doing sex. I feel what he wants is what I don’t have. But he has really big size. So I can’t comment on his body. Please help, how should I get out of this hell life?

Accept your body. Certain things you cannot choose in life. To considerable extent your body is God’s gift. By not allowing him to watch other women’s body you are depriving him and increasing his curiosity. You are not going to get anything out of this except wasting your energy and mental peace.

Dear Sir, Before 1 month I got engaged. After that I started talking with my fiancé on phone. We talked on general topics. But 1 day he came at my home on my B’Day and at that day he want to wish my Birth Day with hugs and kisses. And I couldn’t refuse him. Actually I don’t like these before marriage but he wanted. Now he wants to meet me again and again and on the phone he wants that I’ll give kisses and want to talk on love. Please suggest me that these things are right before marriage or not. And if not how can I refuse him? Our marriage will be after 4 month.

Some amount of physical and romantic acts in pre-marriage period is normal. However, it should be limited to hugs and kisses. Intimate physical activity (which includes intercourse) should be avoided and kept as a special gift to give each other. This will add an excitement and eagerness to your marriage. While you involve yourself in soft physical activities (like hugs, kisses etc.) be sure that you will not slip into further. He may try to proceed (as a part of male nature) but you need to control him saying you have decided to give that as a special gift after marriage. If he does not understand this melodramatic approach then you need to talk seriously on this issue, clarifying that you do not believe in crossing the limits before marriage.

Dr. I am a 22 year old unmarried girl…actualy a student…right now i am going around with a guy. before this relationship I had 1 relationship and my new boyfriend is aware of it, and y i had broke off with that guy and he supported me a lot to forget him, last year we both started going around with each other, earlier he was very caring for me, v had good time without any fights for starting 5 months, but then suddenly things changed, v started having fights, i was not understanding him, he only said that he loves me a lot, and i am very beautiful etc etc…and he never committed to me as we are intercast as he cant go against his parents, i thought its just a starting of our relationship , may be later on we can decide about it so i did not break with him, we did sex also, now 1 year is over , and last week we had fight and he said that its not necessary to talk to you daily, i have no time for you, and we are not true love for each other……..now after week he is sorry for everything, and saying that his condition was terrible that time, now please suggest me…….should i continue with him and if i do then again it will be a time pass…….his parents looking for a girl for him…..and he has no objection….i really don’t know what he wants from me now………i am confused…..i love him madly………I supported him, some where i do admit my mistakes, and i have learnt a lot from my mistakes……..one thing is sure he just cant leave his parents, i am not saying to leave them but he is also not ready to accept me as we are intercast……..as a girl i am ready to convince my parents…….but he is not……..what does it mean…….now what should i do…….my studies effecting a lot….i feel so dull these days and depressed too…..i am not able to get that y he is not caring now, and i have no gutts to ask him anything…as i want to avoid fights…and i know these questions will lead to fights….and i don’t want to hurt him more………i am helpless…….

He has never committed and he does not mind seeing other girls for marriage, these two things imply that he is not meaning serious relationship with you. More over you surrender your body to a person that does not hold any commitment or sincere feelings. This must have taken away interest from the relation more. In other words, you have been taken for ride. Sooner you accept this fact better your self-respect will be preserved. Accept that this relation is not going to work out.

Hi, I am guy and attracted to my aunty who is 15 years elder to me. I won’t say attracted but I am madly in love with her. I just can’t stay without her and want to marry her, she is married and having a kid also. I want to take care of her in every possible way and this is not from now but from last 14 yrs right now I am 30.Please help me as I think I will go insane otherwise in few months. I can’t stay without this lady and I sometimes feel she also loves me but not as her husband. Should I propose her through some gifts? I want to marry her and have kids with her…I know she is not enjoying her sex life from past 8-10 yrs, I think she must be also feeling the urge of it. Can you tell me how should I go ahead? Her husband is least bothered of her… I want to marry her as soon as possible so that I can give her my kid…also that is the reason I have rejected my entire marriage proposal but did not have guts to tell her till now that I love her. I really love her. She also has got feeling for me but I think she is afraid of telling me. I am in Mumbai in India. Should I take the initiative of taking her out for some adult movie and try to kiss her when she is hot or should I bring her something she likes. I think I am sexually attracted towards her. Is it possible that if I love her once I will then stop loving her; I mean to say if I sleep with her once I will stop thinking about her and then I can concentrate on other things? I masturbate around 3 times day thinking about her. I don’t know but I really feel I love her and want to marry her.

Oh!
This seems to be your obsession for her. I think you are confusing your sexual attraction with love and that too one sided! She is not happy with her husband (that’s what you think, has she ever told you that?) does not mean that she is ready for you! If you really love her then how can you think of taking her to adult movie, excite her through that and then kiss her?! WEIRD!! If you are 30 right now then she must be 45. At this stage her priority can not be sex and she can not give birth to baby. I think this is sufficient to make you understand that take professional help to come out of this and get yourself treated. Yes I mean it, God bless you.

I’m in interested in group sex. However, my wife is orthodox. So how can I prepare her, give me advice. My age is 39 and she is 34.

It is not a question of her orthodox nature. It is about sexual preference.  Most of the females do not prefer group sex. Drop an idea of preparing her as sexual likes and dislikes are difficult to change, particularly more so when it is attached with morality issues.

Hi, I am a well educated decently employed unmarried guy living away from my family for the last 4.5 years. I have moved to my current location 7 months back and am facing pressure from my family to get married. I will have to be descriptive here else my problem would not be clear, so please bear with me. I have had 2 girlfriends before coming here and I have been physical with both of them. And I am quite relaxed about these things and to me a pre-marital relationship is absolutely normal. After I broke up with my 2nd girlfriend (we had plans to get married but things did not shape out as expected), I fell in love with this girl in my office and she also had feelings for me. Right now she is my girlfriend and as expected ours is a mature relationship with sex as a part of it. I feel that I love this girl more than anyone else I have met before. And we both have thought of getting married on multiple occasions. Now coming to the problem, she has told me that she has had 3 boyfriends in the past (her last relationship ended only after she met me). All three of these guys were married and she got into these relationships fully aware of this fact in each of the cases. I am absolutely fine if the woman I marry has had “serious” relationships in the past. But here the problem is that I am not able to trust my girlfriend’s respect for the institution of marriage (which I hold in the highest regard, so much so that I believe an extra marital affair should warrant capital punishment). Though I have tried to convince myself that she will be devoted to me if we get married, I am unable to make myself forgive her for what she did in the past. Her being truthful and honest to me isn’t helping either for had it happened once, in a moment of passion, it could have been a mistake but thrice (for considerable periods of time) can’t be. I have told this to her, and we have realised I can’t marry her. But we are somehow not able to get over each other and in spite of trying to part many times in the last 2 months, we are still together. Please tell me what should I do?

This is not fair on your part. On one hand premarital relationship is absolutely normal for you and on other hand you are not able to trust her because of her relationships. You should not forget that her partners were married and not she. For her they were premarital affairs and not extramarital. I think it is not pre or extra marital is actually bothering you, it is your male psyche (male can do it but how can female do it?) and probably insecurity that she can cheat you later is scaring you. Discuss your ideas about marriage with her. If she shows honesty in accepting it then you do not have any morally valid point to step back.

Hello Doctor, I am honey, working in am MNC. I was in love with a person for 2 yrs and we had sex with each other in the past years. My parents as very orthodox and want me to get married soon, they started looking for a person to get me married. I do not want to go against their wishes and hurt them. I have spoken about this to my partner and he accepted the fact that we both cannot marry each other. In another 2 months I am getting married to a guy of my same caste who is just 2 yrs elder to me and is of the same generation and is quite modern thinking and stylish. Please let me know if my future husband by any way could come to know if I already had sex? Because I have, been having sex for the past 2 yrs, will there be any changes in my sexual organs due to which he can to know that I am not a virgin? Please let me know if I have to talk to him about me not a virgin and that I already have had sex in my past relation so that I do not face problems in future in case he comes to know that I am not a virgin. I want to have a successful marriage. Please help me, I am really tensed about this and am not able to get proper sleep and not able to remove this from my head. Thanks

No, no one can find out that you are not virgin unless you disclose it. Some people have misconception that from broken hymen, one can check virginity. If you behave like an experienced partner in bed, he may suspect. Never ever confess that you had sexual relations in past, no man can ever take this even if he claims himself a modern thinker. Try not to think about it, gone are the days.
 

Hi Doctor. I am 21 year old. I lost my dad at the age of 14. I am a person who gets possessive with small little things, say Friend or my Relationship. I feel I have no one. I cry almost everyday. I don’t speak to my Mom or Brother though I know they are very important to me. Now my mom and brother are into a conclusion that I am a reserved person that’s the reason I don’t mingle with them. My guy says I am Psychic and I need some consultation. I am suffering from some pain. He even tells that due to my possessiveness nobody will be there in any kind of relation with me. I am depressed, feel like joining Rehabilitation. Help me. I am suffering from headache since 5 days. I broke my relation with my guy and my friends.

You might be feeling insecure from within, may be because of loss of father at tender age. You have to work out on that. Counseling may help you to overcome your insecurities and depression.