I have a relationship with a girl for about three months (not sexual). Both of us are in love but the problem is that we became friends through chatting and a few days ago I saw her picture, she looks too young and although she says that she is 18 but she looks like a 12 year old. And one is for sure, she is very immature! I’m sure she’s not lying but still she looks very young to me. I don’t feel good about it! I think I’m not of her age, but I don’t want to hurt her too. Now I have exams from tomorrow and I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t even study properly like I used to, my grades are affected very badly. I can’t prepare myself for my finals. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I told her that I’m going to turn off my cell, then after an hour I turn it back on! Please help

Once you have an emotional attachment with each other, you cannot back off without hurting her. You should have exchanged your photographs early in the relationship. Now that you want to concentrate on your exams, it is going to be difficult while you are emotionally disturbed. Do not take any step (like switching off your mobile) until your exams gets over, then after you take your final decision.

Hello Sir thanks a lot for your superb priceless service. I used to read your many articles but the way you answer the questions in this accurate and understanding manner is marvelous. My life goes on well I am 32 married person. I have a cute and lovely daughter who is 4 years old. She is very clever and healthy. She is very playful and becoming naughty nowadays. She doesn’t obey at once. Sometimes I scold her in louder way, she starts crying. Simultaneously I am afraid that if I keep on scolding her in this way, she may become the victim of phobia. So I request you to guide me how should I treat her in this age. Thanks in advance!!!

At this age she needs your unconditional love and tender care. To be naughty at times is perfectly ok, you should not shout at her for that. You also become playful with her during that time, it is one of the real treasure of life.

Sir, I m a BE graduate and trying for a job for last 2 yrs. I am a reserved type. I m very depressed and I am not interested in any things. I am feeling happy to be alone, hear sad songs, cry a lot, and mostly I like others to feel for me. I m have fear talking with a group, feel shame of myself. However, all my concentration, feelings, affection are concentrated on a single person, who is my friends sister. We have a brother -sister relation. I m touched with her family. Here I should say u that I started hating my family when I get myself attached with my friend’s family and especially my sister( I consider my friend’s sister as my own sister) . My step- sister and myself have a good brother -sister relationship. We share a lot; have fun, shares family issues. As time goes on and on, I become really mad on her and I become over emotional and sentimental. If she is not talking for even a single day, I feel embarrassed and says to myself like ” u r unlucky, she is not your own sister, if so she would have talked. I m just a third -person. Gradually I too developed possessiveness. If she talks with some other friends and not with me, I feel for my self and cry. However, my affection started to grow deeper and deeper. If she doesn’t talk, nothing runs in my mind except her. Infect I used to talk with her all the time within my heart. Talking solo within heart. While watching movie, reading books every time I think about her. I feel a lot for her. At the same time, I feel myself that she is not my own sister and how nice it would be if I were her blood related. Recently, my affection and care towards her scared me a lot, as I once took her dress from her shelf and have a look. I started liking her belongings too, her dress, cell phone like that. I was too scary, so I narrated that incident to her. She too know me that, i m not normal and I should need divert my mind from her. She advised me a lot and asked me to stop feel for her and her family and concentrate on my life. She even told that, she wants to have just a friendly relation with me, not like a mad emotionally, sentimentally build relation. I owed her to do, but I m finding difficult to stop thinking about her. I want to maintain a pleasant friendly relation with her even and care her than anybody else. What is my problem doctor, how can I stay away from her, thinking about her all-time.? I m jobless for three long years and now I want to settle in my life and at the same time I want to maintain friendly relation with her. please advice, should I consult psychiatrist.

You have developed emotional dependence on her. Some times, introvert person like you are hooked to one secure emotional relation, develop a kind of pathological attachment i.e. always live in that relation, and think nothing else. If you want to come out of this dependence, start working and keeping yourself busy. Cultivate some purpose and goal in your life. Do not try to share everything with her, rather develop individuality and have some thing personal.
It is a good idea to consult psychiatrist so that you can discuss other areas like your family life, past experiences, emotional issues etc. 

Hi sir the problem I am facing is, once when I was with my parents my mom told that she loves my younger sister a lot. After that I am feeling that I am all alone. and one more is I was a distinction student since childhood but in 12 standard I got very less marks n I got scolding too but now I have continued it by getting less marks n my dad tease me like anything by comparing me with my sister. I am really fed of these things n I am feeling that I am not capable .so I think u will help me thank u.

Comparisons between siblings are very common. This does not mean that you are unlovable. Have you ever conveyed to your parents that their certain attitude is hurting you? If you haven’t, please do it in first place. We do like and wish that people should appreciate and acknowledge our efforts and abilities. However, if they don’t; that does not mean we should start thinking that we are not capable. Keep on putting efforts and try to prove your abilities rather then becoming sentimental on such issues and waste your time & energy.  

Respected sir, I am 27 yrs old male. I am very introvert, shy, submissive, pessimistic and low in confidence. However, very hardworking, strong will power, Good looking, sacrificing & fair by heart and passionate about my career. I belong to lower middle class Haryanvi family. My English was very poor but anyhow, by hard work & will power I improved it in last 5-6 yrs. Now I am associated with one of biggest MNC for last 3 yrs. where I am struggling with inferiority complex as my all colleagues are rich & belong to Punjabi culture and they talk about the advice things & some of them know good English also. I always keep on thinking what they would be thinking about me (Inferior, backward, arrogant, egoistic, just shy & normal…) as I am not so rich, advance & always keep mum. They speak freely with anyone (including other colleagues, bosses) and in group, huddle but I never speaks in huddle due to my before mentioned nature. They tried to speak & be friendly with me also but I never responded positively, ignored them & kept quite. Please advice what should I do to overcome my aforementioned nature & problem and how to boost my confidence since it is mandate to grow in life.

First of all, start responding them positively once they try to be friendly with you. You cannot change your socio-economic class immediately so accept it as a part of reality. English, anyway you can improve.

Hi sir please help me….I was in U.K. to do my post graduation. I used to smoke ganja (8 months) but I was not addicted. Once I had acid (once) and I got paranoid. I was so frightened and was out of my mind. Then after one week of that incident I came to India. I was fine but after a week I started being paranoid again. I don’t know what the reason is. During this time I had an emotional stress, then I started getting emotional for simple reasons and I can’t stop thinking that, then to avoid it I started watching blue films to divert my attention. Then I ended up in big trouble. I saw few clips which were under the label family incest .Then I started feeling guilty of it. But I came across all that and I convinced myself it’s the disease in me making me guilty and not my personal fault. But then I’m trying to forget it but I’m not able to. I’m sure I’m going to be better if I could stop thinking about it, but can’t do it. I have not told anyone about my stress because I don’t want to upset them, if at all I say I don’t think they will understand. I want to live happily for my family. Please help me and do reply.

Cannabis (Ganja) can cause such disturbances and that can continue even after you stop using it. You need to consult psychiatrist for complete treatment.

Sir, I have so many problems since last 2 years. 1) I am not able to concentrate 2) I am not able to take decisions (even small decision) 3) Useless and repetitive thoughts 4) I am not able to remember 5) Excessive anger for small mistakes 6) Showing low level and high level energies simultaneously 7) Doing the particular work repeatedly like checking chin and hairs 8) Postponed the work 9)Guilty feeling 10)Don’t like to face any risk 11)Not doing any job perfectly. Your advice is valuable for my life.

You seem to have Anxiety spectrum disorder (group of disorders where anxiety is a root cause). Consult Psychiatrist nearby.

Dear doctor, I m 34 yrs, I have one problem with my wife, she is good in nature, good looking but the problem is when she come to sleep & when I touch her & ask for relation she refuse. I asked her so many times what’s wrong with but she reply that she is not interested in relation, she love me a lot but she don’t know what’s wrong with her & what happen when she try to do this, her body, mind will not support to do the same. Doctor how can she get interest to for keeping relation with us.

There are many possible reasons for this. It requires in depth interview with her. If she accepts her problem and really feels that she wants it but her mind/body does not support her (not putting it as an excuse) then take her to Psychiatrist. Professional help and couple’s cooperation is must in such cases.

Sir my name is Meenu. I met a guy in my college and he asked me to be his girl friend, but I told him that we will be friends. He accepted it, the relationship got over within 6months because I was not meeting him and was not giving proper time to him. I broke off with him and it has been almost 1yr and I’m not being able to forget him. I want to forget him. I even cry a lot. Please tell me what to do?

Actually, you do not have to do anything. Forgetting is an automatic process. All you have to do is ignore his thoughts and stop crying on this.

Sir, I am in love with one girl, but she already have boyfriend. She knew it that I love her. We were good friends but problem started when I came to know that she is having another friend who is working in our office only. I objected her behavior towards him, but she said like you he is also my friend. After that our office location changed (not her friend’s). There she and her boyfriend started receiving some abusing and vulgar mails from my IP (PC). But she didn’t tell me that. I also started receiving some mails, threatening me to keep away from her. I couldn’t make complaint because it was also same from my PC only. After some days I got mail in which my & her pictures were there, which was nude (edited). He threatened that he will send these photos to my home. I ignored it but he really sent it to my home, it was my luck that no one had opened it. Again I got mail, asking me for 20000rs otherwise he will send this picture to her boyfriend and her home. She also doubted me only because she is also getting mail from my pc only. I paid 20000rs as I have no choice. After that I started receiving mails from my friend’s ID only I was shocked when I told her about it she said I only hacked her password and I am only doing all these. I asked my friends help who is in police also, he sent a mail to email address from which I am getting mail, that he should stop all this otherwise he will be in trouble. After that I stopped getting mail. But my friend’s behavior towards me is very harsh, she hates me. I couldn’t laugh from last 6 months. I think I am psychic. Don’t know what to do?

If your mail ID was hacked then you should have complained earlier to authorities. You did another mistake by giving 20000, instead you should have done police complaint. When she is involved with other guys and having hatred towards you, you should try to come out of this relationship.