Hello Sir I have a boyfriend who is insisting me to lose my virginity with him. I have done oral sex with him before many times and he just intends to take the relationship further and have proper sex which I don’t want to do with anyone before marriage. How do I handle my boyfriend?

Boys will always try to force for intercourse. It is masculine tendency. If you do not want to give in to his pressure, simply but firmly say no to him. Even than if he keeps on forcing you, just walk out of relationship. One who does not respect your wish is not worth for anything.

Sir, I was a law student at a reputed law college in India. Unfortunately 3 years ago my parents passed away in a motor accident. As if it was not enough I walked in on my long term boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend. These series of episodes broke me down to the extent that I lost interest towards life. I did not give my exams in spite of the fact that I was an above average student. Now I suddenly realize that I had let go of my life which I should never have. My studentship has been canceled and I have no clue what to do. I feel I have no one to blame but myself for my acts. Never the less I presume it’s a little too late for the blame game and would appreciate if I was suggested a course of action to be taken so that I could be able to complete my law graduation and peruse a career as finance is also a major issue. Please Help!!! and for this I shall remain ever obliged, Thank You

It is good that you have realized. You can join that course again or equivalent. You may start working simultaneously, may be part time; to support yourself financially. Alternatively, you can pursue your law through distant learning or as an external student and start doing job.

Hi Doc, I Have some serious problem in life to discuss. I am basically a guy with same-sex inclination. I do not know whether I am a gay or bisexual, but the inclination towards men is strong. I realized this way back in my childhood but could not do much about it. Due to social pressures (& as I didn’t have the courage to disclose it to parents), I got married about 2.5 yrs back. For first 6-7 months everything was fine and we enjoyed our sexual life. I was happy. However since wife didn’t want child before 2 yrs, I used protection. The problem happened about 8-9 months later. I have stopped getting erection during love-making. At times, I get it for a few mins and then it loses. I am now under tremendous family pressure for producing a child. Even I want to become a father as soon as possible. My wife is also not happy with me since there is zero sex life between us. On a friend’s advice I tried Sildenafil. That worked thrice, but then failed for next 2 times. I then stopped trying it. My friend told me that probably due to frequent use, my body may have become immune, and that I should again take it now (it’s been 3 months). But I am totally shattered. I know it’s not impotency or erectile dysfunction problem because I do get very hard when masturbating or when with guys. Its perhaps only due to the sexual inclination. I am totally depressed. Nothing seems to be good. Often feel like ending my life and committing suicide. Is there a way you can please help me out? We (me & wife) really need a child. What do I do? I feel guilt that she is suffering because of me only. Can’t even share this with anyone. No one knows about this problem and my inclination. What do I do? Should I take Sildenafil again & try? Is there a way for artificial pregnancy? Please help.. please!

You seem to be bisexual with predominant homosexual orientation. If you are getting strong erection with males, than try to imagine male partners during sexual act with your wife. Sometimes fantasized sexual act adds to your excitement. You may take Sildenafil under medical supervision. It never losses it’s effect because of repeated use. You may seek Psychiatrist’s help for controlling your homosexual drives, may be online to maintain your anonymity.

I am a 25 yr old guy. I love her from last more than two years. Actually she is my first love when we started then she was involve with some one else as well as with me but she had sexual relation with me only because I know that guy very well. Now we can’t live without each other but some time I am getting frustrated with her past. She also hides some facts about her family as well as herself. But now she loves me more than me and wants to marry with me. I love her but our relation is not so much smooth we fight so much even using abusing words sometimes I slapped her. I am afraid some times of getting married pl suggest me what should I do? Actually my family also opposed this relation because she belongs to different cast.

Abusing each other and physical violence suggest that you lack mutual respect for each other. You need to work up on that, otherwise you will remain painfully attached under the name of love and suffer. Before you get married learn to respect each other, practice absolute honesty in relationship and increase your understanding. 

Dear Doctor, I found your email address from Internet, I have a problem so I needed your help, please advise me; I am 27 Years old Male, I and My Wife have a Problem, When We start intercourse I discharge Sperm very soon, We cannot enjoy more than 1-3 strokes or 2-6 Sec, I am very much worried about this problem. So please tell me if this is any kind of disease or sexual weakness. If yes then please tell me any other way to get free from this problem because according to our culture we cannot have sexual health Pills and treatment.

Your problem of early discharge is known as Premature Ejaculation. Premature Ejaculation is the most common sexual problem experienced by man. There are certain techniques, which can help you to stay longer. Kegel exercise is one of the very popular and effective techniques to control premature ejaculation. These are the exercises of pubococcygeus muscles (PC) muscles. A man can do these exercises anytime and anywhere and no one will even know about it. To identify the muscles of your pelvic floor stop your flow of urine next time you go to urinal. Contract the muscles tightly holding for 10 seconds i.e. stop urinating in between. Do this thrice a day repeating 10 times. The PC muscles control the urine and semen and firmness of your organ during erection, so keeping them strong will increase ejaculatory control. Even while masturbating or doing intercourse you can practice stop and start i.e. rub for few thrust then stop for a minute and start rubbing again. Just relax on this; it should go away with some time.

Is it good to watch sex/porn movie with wife. She is not getting mood frequently. Will it bring any issues?

Most of the women do not like to watch porn movies. Even if they will watch then they will prefer soft porn (xx) movies with some romantic story line. Do not force her to see hard porn (xxx) which usually males would prefer. She may start loosing interest in sex.

I m 19+.I am working too. I don’t know what I want to do and what can exactly I do. Actually there are many people in my life but only 2-3 friends but no best friend. The person to whom I love from past 2 years doesn’t respect me, he doesn’t have caring attitude towards me, and many more things are there but all negative. He calls me whenever he wants to have a physical relation and if I say no then he abuses me like anything. My best friend also ditched me. Actually I can’t tolerate if any person hates me. I love my friends so I always say that I LOVE YOU. One person is there in my office, I like him a lot and I have told him but he is already committed .He saw my mails where I wrote I love you to one of my friend, he became aggressive and said that this shows my character. I can’t take it any more……………… ACTUALLY I AM REALLY CONFUSED THAT WHAT I WANT TO ASK YOU AND WHAT I SHOUL DO. Please help me out.

First person, to whom you love since 2 years, is using you to fulfil his physical needs. In spite of all negative things for you in that relation, what keeps you to continue?! You cannot keep on telling I LOVE YOU to everyone! You seem to be very sensitive to rejection and longing to be loved. There may be some emotional reasons behind this which you need to introspect.

The institute in which I study had recently organized a cultural event in which a local rock band by the name of ‘NATIVE RULES’ came to perform. I had never before seen a rock show in my life. I decided to enjoy it to the fullest, and with this purpose in mind, I drank heavily. However, the authorities caught me and my ID card was taken from me. On the other hand, 60% of the people present they were drunk. I am now being threatened with the consequence of being thrown out of the institute. I am a good student. My parents will not be able to bear such a shock. Sometimes, I even think of suicide. What shall I do?

It was unfortunate that you were caught while there were so many others like you. You should honestly present the same thing (as you have written here) to authorities and sincerely apologize for your behaviour. You should also assure them for not repeating same thing in future. Tell them your parent’s position on disclosing this fact to them and convey them how ashamed you feel. Finally say sorry, sorry, sorry…..and mean it too. Any sensible person will forgive you If you have good reputation  otherwise. 

Hi Dr. I am unable to take a decision in my life. Please help me. About Me: I am 24, am working as software engineer. I am in love with my college-mate since 4 years. He is also a software engineer, working in Chennai (he was working in Hyderabad; he changed his job to Chennai for my sake, as we planned to settle in Chennai). He loves me so much then I love him, we use to have many arguments, and still we understand each other and get convinced soon. We have a lot of hope that we will have a happy marriage life. However, the problem is my marriage. He is a Brahmin and I am a non-Brahmin (both are from middle-class orthodox family). Therefore, his parents not accept our love as this is an inter-cast and inter-language, inter-state. I broke my love to my father 3 years back, and he met my lover and said that he will arrange for marriage only even his parents accepts for our love. 3 years passed, I still did not turn back to my father regarding my love. Whenever he asks for marriage, I just postponed it saying some reason as career, visa, and onsite as such. But I feel my life is vague, I see most of my friend have a happy marriage life, but I still unable to turn up to my father for marriage, as the first question he will ask his whether his parents accepts for the marriage. Because of this, I mostly avoid talking to my father also, I was been very pet to my father from my childhood, but now a days because of my behaviour, I think he dislikes me and try to spend most of his time with my mother and my brother. I am possessive too. I love my father, and I would like to be close with him as before, but I don’t know whether he will like me or fully hates. My lover tried convincing his parents to the extreme, but that are not willing to accept our love, rather they say, as they are ready to leave their only son and asking him to marry me going away from his family. My lover is also willing to come out of his family and marry me, but I know he is also more attached to his parents, and so I don’t want to take him such a decision, as he is the only son to take care of his parents. This is the situation since 3 years, years passed, but still my problem wasn’t solved. Those days I did not have any indention to get married earlier, and so I waited for the solution. Now, I am feeling very lonely in spite of my lovable family and affectionate lover. I some times worry, whether I took wrong decision to fall in love, as I am hurting my parents and his parents and playing in my lover’s life. One thing I like to say is, we did not have any physical relation, but still we cannot live without each other. In addition, I cannot got against my parents, as I don’t want to create any bad name for them. I don’t know how I am going to explain my father regarding my situation, because I can also understand my father’s situation that he cannot arrange for marriage without my lover’s parents permission, as he will not be able to answer my relatives. This is the first time I have visited your website, and after reading your answers for others problem, I thought of writing to you. I am confused; I don’t know how to convince my lovers parents and my parents. However, one thing I am sure is, I want and I will marry him.

Tough. I think you should tell the facts to your father. Tell him current status, your keenness to marry him and ask his advise about what to do. This will definitely act as a breather. You will be able to deal with guilt to some extent and get emotional support. Transparency about current status of your relation will keep your familial support intact. You also let him know that you do not want to hurt them and at the same time not able to leave him. Ask your lover to negotiate with his parents continuously rather then maintaining status co. Ultimately, you may have to be prepared for displeasing some one, your parents, his parents, him or yourself.  

Hi, I am a married female for the last 14 yrs. we both are happy. Few years back I started going online and started talking to males. In real I was quiet and shy before coming to world of chatting. Slowly I got addicted to chatting. Two years back I met (online) a male from Kolkata living in UAE. I am a Muslim Pakistani woman. He is Hindu Indian married male for the last 24 years. He is 46 and so is his wife. Now problem is that he used to pamper me a lot. He used to ring me up every day. He used to send me sms. We shared our pasts too. He has some fantasies .he used to share with me. But never told me that these all are his fantasies. I met him personally in UAE. We both felt good meeting each others. He then started asking me and my husband to apply for some job in UAE. He helped us. Now when dreams are going to happen in real, I mean my husband got a job in UAE and we are planning to move to UAE he is totally changed. He is telling me again and again how much he loves his wife. Now he is running away from me, telling me immature. He is saying dreams and reality are separate. We should not mix them. But seriously he never ever told me that all he said was his dreams. I’m very depressed all these days because of his changed behaviour. He says he won’t meet us. And suppose if they will meet us he will not talk to me. They will be just casual friends. He does not want any extramarital affair in real now. Last year when we met we were physical too. I don’t understand what is bothering him now? Why he is running away now? What should I say or do? I’m so feeling really down and unable to understand why he is behaving like that? Now when the dreams are just becoming reality what frightens him? Before that he was forcing us to move to UAE. He searched jobs for us and talked to concerned people. Can u please guide me in this case? What should I say or do? How can we fix things? Or should I give up?

I think he is not ready to disturb his own life. So far you were away, he was enjoying the relation but once you are physically around his responsibility is going to increase and he may not be ready for that. Why he helped you to come to UAE is seems to be mystery, probably he might just wanted to please you but would have never thought seriously that this will work out. Now that it has worked out, against his expectation, he is running away because of above said reasons. You should continue going to UAE, not for him but if work and future scope is worth.