I’m in a depressed state. My dad has a habit of betting in horse race. He is indulged in this activity for past 20yrs to 25yrs. My mom is still struggling with him to get rid of this habit. Because of this he gets more loans and debts from others. He lies every time he does the mistake so everyone stopped believing him even if he says truth. I got married recently with the help of my mom’s brothers and sister. He is still the same. We are very conservative family. Don’t know how to deal with him. Please help me.

He might be suffering from Compulsive Gambling. This is a mental disorder which requires treatment. Consult psychiatrist. He will be helpful in management.

Respected Sir, I am 20yrs old but not having good health .My problem is that I am a very calm and decent nature due to which I and my family have to face problems such that when somebody misbehaves with my family members I m not able to do anything to that enemy and now a days I got hit with some enemies in front of my family. Another thing is I’m also not so active like other boys. I have a loser personality in society. Please help me. Thanks

You and your family should develop assertiveness and should collectively oppose any misbehavior towards any members of your family.
To become active set goals in your life and work towards it’s achievement. Physical exercises on regular basis will be of definite help.

Dear Sir I have an unusual problem and even do not have a friend to solve it .I have a relationship with a person from last 5 years everything was going all well but some ego problem came in between and now he shifted himself to some other place we always use to fight on some or the other problem and for the first time we had a fight where we did not talked for about more than a month ,I love him still but not able to understand his opinion about the relationship he is not saying anything till now is this a break up or he want to continue whenever I ask him such questions he gets angry I cannot understand him completely is he seeing someone else or he doesn’t want to continue any more Please help now I am totally frustrated because I am not able to concentrate anywhere else.

It is really very frustrating when relationship does not seem to be working, particularly for woman. You should not avoid discussion just because he becomes angry when you ask him about relationship. Do not start talking about your relationship suddenly. Instead you tell him that you want to talk about your relations and fix up the meeting for that purpose only. This will make him mentally prepared for the discussion and compel him to think about it. If he does not turn up for the meeting or show no eagerness to meet for the purpose then probably you are heading for the break up.

Dear Sir, I m 45 years male and married 20 years back. After 14years of marriage, I came in contact with a girl age 25 and at that time I was 36. I like her and she also likes me. After some time we started living as husband wife. I got my job away from my home. She kept on living with me and she took admission in different courses. Before my meeting with her, she had relations with many. But after my meeting she left every one. After 7years of relations she started meeting with her ex friends and having relations with them. I ruined myself and my family also by having relations with her. One day I caught her red handed and ask with love to stop these relations and forgive her. But in my absence she contacted them and keeps on meeting. One day she took her bags and went away without telling me anything, and neither had she called me nor picking my phones. I can’t live without her. I m not able to go back my previous house as my wife is not ready to see even my face. Please guide me what to do. I’m in deep depression. pl. help me.

You did triple mistake i.e. an extramarital affair, with young girl and that too a girl with history of multiple relationships! Each extramarital relationship has an expiry date and your date has come. Woman much younger than man tend to develop other relationship quite frequently. Looking to these facts, I’m not surprised about what has happened. Only thing left with you is an acceptance. You cannot bring back someone to your life forcefully or by throwing emotional tantrums. Learn to live without her.

Hello Sir, I have been married for 1 year. I feel that my husband does not get physically attracted toward me. We love each other very much and he is very caring for me to the extent that he tries whatever he knows about the art of making love to give me maximum happiness but I feel that he doesn’t get satisfied as he would want to. After marriage it took me a month or so to become comfortable with male touch and he showed all the patience any man can ever show, giving me time to evolve, never forcing anything on me. I now feel it’s time that he should start getting rewarded but whenever I ask him what he wants me to do he says that he is okay with anything which gives me happiness and during process even I will be happy but I really don’t think that he gets what he wants but I can’t figure out how. He always wanted to marry a pretty girl with delicate body (he has been very vocal about it and I also find him admiring beauty like any other man) and I am nowhere close to that picture in any sense, and he is very good looking (on a scale of 10 in overall looks, he is 7 and I am 4). he started the relationship with me because he felt that I am level headed and emotionally stable person who can take care of him and his family (when I met him 3 years ago he was emotionally shattered due to many situations he didn’t deserve to be in) and I started because I felt that he is one of the most loving and caring man I have seen in my life. We grew together and relationship evolved into love and after 2 years we decided to get married. I know for a fact that no matter which surgery I undergo or which fairness cream I apply I can never be close to him or his expectation. I tried watching funny stuff with him in anticipation that may be that excites him but we lost interest very soon. Please tell me what should I do to know what he wants and ensure that he gets it. I don’t want him to end up in dissatisfying marriage.

You may not meet his expectations as far as physical look is concern but you can definitely satisfy his emotional needs. He started with a wish that you will be emotionally stable and will take care of him & his family. So now try to make him happy on that front.

Hi, I am 27 Years old unmarried boy living alone in Mumbai due to my job. My parents stay at their native place far away. When I was less than 3 years old, I was sexually harassed by my own cousin around 15 years elder to me. This continued for long and slowly I got involved in it by my own will. However, it was not regular and used to happen once in months. When he got married, it didn’t happened again. I started feeling attracted for men rather than girls during these events. I grew up and felt quite ashamed of the past. I felt my behaviour too had that impact of liking men over girls. I tried my best to change and to some extent I got successful. Past 5-6 years, I feel my liking for girls have increased, but its somewhere looks like a pressurized feeling. I want to get married, have kids and lead a normal man’s life. I still feel attracted to men, but do not want to go that way at all. My personal choice has to be linked only to 1 girl, my wife. Physically, I am fit; I get full erection and can masturbate for long without any concerns. But, is this a good criterion to decide? But I really feel scared, that I will be able to justify my love for my wife. Whether, all will go fine after marriage or not. I can’t take risk of risking a girl’s life just like that. Please help me find out what usually happens in such cases. Will I ever be able to come out of this? The very thought of a failure in marriage kills me. It’s a suicidal feeling. Waiting for your reply. Please mail me your contact details, want to talk to you personally.

Homosexuality is deep rooted problem. You have to seek professional help to overcome it. Consult nearby Psychiatrist or go for online therapy. My contact no. is +91 98259 20555/ Email: malefemale.in1@gmail.com

I suck my husband’s penis & even drink the sperm many times. Would it be having any negative effect?

No. Just be sure that he is maintaining good hygiene of his penis and surrounding area.

Dear Doc, I got married 1 month back. On my first wedding night I could not have intercourse with my wife as she felt pain whenever I tried to penetrate her. Besides this I felt her vagina too tight despite enough fore play. Even after that night we had failed attempts due to same reason. I took her to a gynecologist. Dr said everything was normal. After that I faced premature ejaculations and loss of erection. Now she is not with me but I keep judging my erection as I suspect it is not same as before marriage and the reason of failed sex. I visited psychiatrist, he told me to keep the things out of mind, and consultation with wife. Can I recover and have successful married and sexual life. Please help. Thanks in advance.

You do not seem to have any sexual problem. Your sexual troubles are making you anxious. Just take it easy and relax yourself, everything is going to be alright with continuing sexual activities.

I had sex 6 months ago. Week after week I felt strange feeling. Right now I feel my penis is dead. I still can feel it when I masturbate, but am not that sensitive as before. I did not get sick or anything else. What happened to me?

Nothing, you have become more conscious about it. Just relax and stop evaluating your erection. Things will get normal automatically.

Dear Sir. The advice you gave me last time worked to a very great extent. Thanks a million Sir, for your valuable advice. I had written to you months ago regarding the below (mentioned in brief) “It is about 5 yrs for my marriage, we have a child of 4 yrs. My husband refuses to have sexual relations with me for the past 4yrs due to the criticism made by his mother about me & my family. But more than me he loves his parents. He easily gets influenced with whatever she tells him. Her constant complains about my family has created hatred in the heart of my husband too, for my mother. He does not even allow me & my child to visit my parents.”” On this Dr. you had advised me to be firm & tell my husband that I have responsibilities towards my parents also. I did so & my parents also came over to my house. This has now made a way for me & my child to visit my parents since one year. Thanks to you Dr. Thanks so much. But I now have a new problem related to this. I’m quite sure my husband sent me & my child, against his & his parents’ will, to my parent’s house, though he never accompanied us on any occasion/ function. I used to go all alone since 1year. The problem sir is that after I come back from my parent’s house, he behaves in a very strange manner, as though he is very sad because of my behavior. He has even recently stopped going out on Sundays with me & my child. He told me that he does not want me to visit them. He hates them a lot. I’m confused sir, whom do I choose? My parents or my husband, if I chose my husband (which I did in the past & which did hurt me a lot, as he still never had a physical relation” with me, I missed my parents, I felt left out) then my mother starts crying & longing to be with her grandchild. She then told me in the past that if she dies I should not come even for her funeral. I just don’t know what to do sir, I’m fed up of all this. I’m pressed between both my husband & my parents. It irritates me when he is with his parents. I have never asked him to separate from his parents then why is he asking me to NOT even visit my parents. Is he emotionally blackmailing me? What do I do Sir? How do I handle this behavior of his? I’m confused sir, whom do I choose? Please help me sir, I need your help urgently.

Ignore his tantrums. Whenever you got to have this topic open, try to make him realize that you continue visiting them not to hurt him but you have to, because you feel morally responsible for this.