Your thoughts are part of normal men’s fantasy. However, acting upon it may not be acceptable to your wife. No woman on this earth would ever like her husband talking of having sex with other woman. So rather then  wasting your efforts in convincing her try to spice up your life with other ways and means.

Hello sir, I have read your books.Sir I have a problem.Actually I am in love with a girl and she loves me too but what troubles me is that she is the daughter of my mother’s younger brother(wo mere mama ki ladki hai).I am confused can i go ahead? I want to ask if the marriage can be possible or not(kya mama ki ladki se shadi ho sakti hai)? could the soceity accept this relation? Please reply and HELP ME.

Generally speaking, such kind of relationship is not acceptable to family and society both. However, in muslims this type of relationship is permissible.

Hi Dr. I am in a love with a girl for past 2 yrs. After 7 months in my relation I came to know that she had affairs in her past life. I initially asked and she said it was casual friendship. On probing I found it was serious and asked again. She affirmed that she slept earlier with his ex-boyfriend. It was a break of trust but after her assurance I forgive and tried to rebuild my trust. I still have that complaint in my heart but never let that come out at least for last one year. We declared to friends and relatives that we are getting married almost a year back. I find her arrogant, spend thrift and ignorant of my feelings and complaining about everything. This part is affecting me more and I fear that this will affect my relation with her. We are soon to tie knot. How do you think I can try to fix this so it does not become blunder? Both of us know we are not made for each other. We never let parents feel that.

If both of you know that you are not made for each other then why are you getting married? If she has cheated you about her past, behaving in arrogant way, ignorant about your feelings and having lots of complaints then it is sure that your marital life will be tumultuous. Try to rethink before you take final decision.

I have everything in my life I ever wanted. A great family, my husband respects, loves, and supports our son and me. However sex is another story. Before we got married we had sex often. Afterwards I began to work as a teacher and he works at a food place. Our schedules are completely different. After that sex was once a month. While I was pregnant he felt uncomfortable having sex. Then we did not have sex for 6 months. He says he is stressed with the business since he is the manager/waiter/Mr. fix it/ whatever they need. I’m not sure what to do. Before we have sex, it always seems we have a talk where things are going to change but they don’t. With all of this I am angry all the time hoping that the next day will be the one where he will initiate sex and not push me away. When we do make love it is great. But what can I do or he does to make our sex life better? Please help. 3 years of marriage.

You really need to sit together and work out on the issue. Stress can be cause behind this but it cannot be the only cause. Improve your bond through healthy communication, care and concerns. If he feels tired of work then change the time of sex, may be early morning.

I got married a year ago, but the irony is that we both have not had intercourse till now. It was an arranged marriage and we both love each other and that is the reason that we are still together. It’s a long story but to cut short, in the initial days my husband used to work 7 days a week as he is into family business of construction so he used to return home tired. So, he didn’t use to feel arousal. Gradually we realised that we are heading for a big problem as it became a problem as the time passed. We tried to solve the problem on our own. Then after 4 months my in laws got to know about the issue and then we met a good sexologist as my husband felt some erectile dysfunction. But he remained busy thereafter too and we could not attempt sexual activity as frequent we were advised to do. Then we came to know that he had high blood sugar levels & a liver problem. A problem led to another! He wasn’t able to spare much time + there were more than one grave problem now. He got depressed and me too. He got under depression and then took 2 months to come out of this. Now it has been more than a month that he is ok and we are again trying for it. Now, he has good erection but still we have not had intercourse. I went to gynaecologist to get my vagina checked. She told that I have a septum that must be removed, then we went another gynaec, she said that there is no septum & it’s just fear in me, but I don’t think so. We are still trying but in vain. Kindly advise what should we do?

You should consult Psychiatrist.

Dear Sir, I am a 22 years old boy & just completed my engineering degree. Now I am surrounded with lots of problems in my life. I can not understand what I have to do now? Earlier, when I faced any problem, your suggestion solved my problems. Thanks a lot for your help. Sir, I am from a well educated middle class family. My parents and brother all are employed. I am the younger one in the family. I have very good academic record in my career. I thought my life is going to be really happy after completion of Btech. But now actually I am dealing with a miserable life. My campus selection in a software company was cancelled. After that I am appearing in different public service exams, but still now I have not qualified in any exam. My first tension is regarding the Job. Since I am not getting a job, I have decided to go for MBA & my parents also agreed in that. The main problem is that I can’t give that much of effort towards study. I don’t know why I am not getting the interest to study as that was in my college days. I know without proper preparation, I will not qualify either in exam for job nor in MBA entrance. If I study with concentration for 1 day then in next day I am not able to study with that much of efficiency. Finally, I waste time in watching TV or chatting or porn movies. Why I am loosing my concentration in study? Now let me tell you about my personal problems that I can never share with my family members. First, I have undergone several break ups with my earlier girl friends. In some cases, it was a one sided love or misunderstanding or she left me. I easily fall in love with girls because I need someone who Loves me and cares for me, but they have always betrayed me. It’s true that I start searching for another girl when someone leaves me because the pain of break up really hurts me, and I don’t want to be a Devdas. If someone really loves me then I’ll be always with her, otherwise good bye to the relationship. Recently, a 9 month old online relationship with a girl (22 yrs old) was ended because she still thinks me as her friend. She told me that she can not love me. Also there was a misunderstanding between us to create such situation. I proposed her several times. You know sir whenever I’ll say her ‘I love you’… she replies me ‘I like you’. She told me she can’t love me because she will only love her husband. Then I understand she does not really love me, rather she was just acting and playing with my emotions. For last 1 month we are not talking to each other. Now my love for her has turned to hatred. Whenever her thoughts comes into my mind, I use as many as slang I know just to remove that feeling. I think love and breakup has become daily routine of my Life. Several times in a day my mood swings. Sometimes I feel the desire to study and other time my heart wants some girl’s love. I avoid romantic songs or movies, because that emotion only reminds me of my past and makes me emotional. Now I feel as if I am living an unpleasant life. All my problem starting from 1) cancellation of my job 2) Not qualifying any exam 3) Not getting a job 4) No mood to study hard 5) my miserable Love life. All these problems are making the situation worse. Sometimes I feel as my good career in Btech is going towards hell now and I am destroying my Life. I think if I can’t do anything in life, then I’ll choose the easy option to suicide. Please suggest me what I have to do now? I am really feeling alone and depressed now.

Looking to your problems, I think, you should seek help in person. Consult psychiatrist nearby.

I am confused with my state of mind. I’m a short-tempered person and have observed from last 2 –3 months I did not lose my temper at all. However, after a long time on a very small issue I busted like anything. I do things like making the other person scare by threatening him that I will commit suicide. In addition, in the process of threatening, I actually push myself for suicide, which results, into very bad state. Before making an attempt I make sure that the person would save me. On the other days, I’m absolutely fine. Nevertheless, when I’m angry I really loose myself and do anything, which I really don’t want to do and do it to scare the other person. May be to show my anger. I want to know what is the solution to come out of this is and the reason why I do this.

There are many causes for this type of aggressive and attention seeking behaviour. Personality (Borderline, Histrionic etc), impulse control disorders, Depression etc are most common. However, it is difficult to judge underlying factors from such brief details. It is not a bad idea to consult psychiatrist and work out on this.

Sir, I worked in an international company my nature is very sensitive & fearful. Many of my friends try to hurt me like making fun of me. I always fear to have company with them I don’t know what to do how to avoid them. I don’t reply to them but the thing is that if I don’t reply the thing will go on & on. Do I be like them or search another job because my nature is not to hurt anybody like other people do?

Changing of job is certainly not a solution. You have to become practical and answer them in their language. This may sound difficult to you but even your attempt of doing so will improve their attitude towards you. Let them know that you do not like them making your fun and will not tolerate it by just ignoring or keeping silent. Initially they may show their resistance by making more fun but on long run your message will be delivered to them.

Sir, I stay in a joint family. I married to a girl of my choice 2 years back. We have a 7 month old kid. We have father, mother, bhaiya and bhabhi along with us in our family. Now my wife is well educated and is of independent thoughts where as my mother and bhabhi are orthodox they try to make my wife live their way. It has started into fighting. My wife says to leave this place and go some where else but it’s tough to leave father and mother, but equally hell to live in this environment. Some times I fell like dying and end up things, but can’t do seeing my kid. I am helpless. Suggest me what to do? Please guide me otherwise I will die of this situation.

Only practical solution to your problem is to stay separate. It is difficult for you to patch up between orthodox mother-bhabhi and your wife. It is better to take timely decision then permanently spoiling family relationship.

I want to know if there would be any changes to the sexual organ of a female, I mean will be the Vagina grows in size since I have been having sex from past 2 yrs with my bf whom unfortunately I cannot marry. I am asking this becoz I dont want my future husband to doubt me !!! Please Help You need not to worry on this issue. Two years is too short period to cause noticeable difference in vaginal laxity. He wont come to know about your previous sexual acts simply by having sexual acts with you.

You need not to worry on this issue. Two years is too short period to cause noticeable difference in vaginal tone. He wont come to know about your previous sexual acts simply by having sexual acts with you.