Hello Doctor, first of all I would like to congratulate you on writing such a fantastic book-“pan hu tane prem karu chu”.Actualy I have just started reading it .I would like to tell you about my problem .I am married since 9 years, have 2 lovely kids, my family members are also very good people. A year ago I just started chatting with a guy and slowly I fell in love with him, I knew what I was doing was wrong but I couldn’t help it, then we started talking on the phone, but I had never seen him. Then my husband came to know about my relationship. I asked him to forgive me, and I promised him that I will not do the same mistake. Now 3-4 months have passed but I still love that guy, and I am not able to forget him. I try to keep myself busy, but all in vain and my lover also loves me a lot he told me that he will never marry anyone other than me. I requested him to change his cell number, he refused to do so. Now I always feel like calling him, I long to hear his voice. And he is very different from my husband. He is very loving and caring, always showing his love for me. While my husband is not demonstrative. And my other problem is I don’t enjoy physical relationship with my husband, and this problem is since many years, I rarely get aroused by him, maybe the problem is with me, and my husband is a simple looking guy. And I look smarter than him. Now I am trying really hard to make my married life happy, but I have not been successful yet. And I just feel like going away to my lover. Now what should I do? Please help me and guide me.

It is too late for this decision as you have to consider about your two children also. If that doesn’t matter you then you can think of going to your lover. At this stage ( nine years of marriage, two children, Indian culture ) Accept what you have and exercise self-control. In life you may come across better persons then what you had up till now but that doesn’t mean you should behave in responsible way.

I am in love with a girl. She was also interested in the beginning. Later she started avoiding me. She used to work in the same company where I was working. I quit the Co. due to job dissatisfaction. Now she doesn’t even talk to me over the phone.

Avoidance followed by no communication! Accept that it’s over.

Sir, I am a big fan of yours.I have confusion about the following- I am engaged since 9 months,my fiance lives alone because of his job in an another city so he is not able to live with my in-laws.After marriage his mother wants me to live with them but as I have to continue my studies at the same city as that of my fiance,my parents told them that I would live with my husband in future. Since then my mother-in-law has stopped receiving my calls .Me and my fiancé are in a healthy relationship,but because of this behavior of his mother I have a confusion about to marry him or not? So what should I do?

First of all, you need to discuss this issue with your fiancé. If you have a unanimous thinking on staying together after marriage, both of you should go to your mother in law to discuss what you think as a couple.
Without resolving this issue,you cannot think of proceeding further into the relationship, because this type of conflict can be a source of disturbances in the future.

I am always dwelling in past and not able to concentrate on my carrier and other aspects of life. Ever since my break off with the guy whom I loved so much I am not able to live a normal life. Everybody in my family is now getting irritated with me. Whenever I start any discussion with anyone, my point stops in discussing the past while giving the instances of past. I am really fed up of it. I do not want that my new relationship, which I am looking forward to, should get ruined because of thinking about past so much. I always miss that old guy and still believe he was the best for me which I couldn’t handle on my own. I will be getting married soon and I do not want to spoil my new relationship…please help

Breakups are always painful and more so with genuine affection. Women always ruminates more about broken relationships then men. There is no way to erase painful memories. What you can do is; look foreword in life, try to be engaged in current as well as new relationships, stop talking about old relationship, do not try to analyze your past relationship and do not maintain contact with him.

Sir.have been married for 10 months now. My husband & i were seeing each other for 2yrs before marriage. Had intimate physical relation,incuding oral sex and mastubrating together. SEX never. Now also we get excited but when it comes to penetration, i cant bear the pain.am all excited and wet during 4play but when it comes to penetration i tense up. have seen gynae. Says am normsl. Seen psychologist, says RELAX. I know all that. Also been told that this could be an effect of value syatems etc. Point is i know everything but implementation of relaxation etc is just not happening.Am a well qualified, open minded woman,but when it comes to relaxing during the most natural act of life, i aM UNSUCCESSFUL. Hubby is a loving and patient man.His opinion is that i dont care for sex, but then why do i get aroused at all. Please help me save my marriage

I think, you are having unconscious fear of penetration or of pain during the penetration. Almost 20 to 30 percent of women have this fear. I understand your anxiety over the issue but let me tell you very basic thing about the solutions of sexual problems. Get relaxed first, so far you remain tense your problem is going to worsen. Penetration can be more painful while you are tense as it causes spasms of vaginal muscles, unconsciously. .Second thing is you need to have patience because it may take some time and efforts from both of you. Your husband may start with his fingers or dilators (available in medical stores) and once you are comfortable, may attempt penetration (after days or weeks). He should not escape from working towards solution by saying he does not care for sex.You may take help of good romantic background music and/or some erotic movies to divert your attention from pain or fear of penetration. You may reduce your anxiety by dreaming up your excitement through imagination.

I’m expecting much from my friends, family. But they do not understand me. What to do? Daily I m getting much depressed.

You have already accepted that you are expecting much, so problem is your expectations and not with your friends or family’s understanding. Introspect regarding your expectation and try to check them. If they do not understand your expectation then make them clear that what you are expecting from them in particular time or situation.

Hi I am in love with a female from our office. She is married from the time we started loving each other. She was the first one who had initiated. Her behavior was really good in early days. I was very aloof, I mean never knew what happens in love but she use to ask me all things like we should talk, go out etc but after few days when I started enjoying it, she says she is not interested in all those things. I mean she is not that involved now. Do you feel she really loves me? Please help

She never loved you. She must have started relationship with her needs and now stepping back with her own reasons. You should understand that you were taken for a ride and now ride is over. Try to come out of it as she does not show interest any more.

Sir I’m in love with a guy. He also loves me like anything. We both are sincerely in our love but the problem is we both are very short tempered and often we are getting into fights. We ourselves don’t know what words we are choosing at the point of anger. The main point is he rarely gets angry but I often get angry and burst out with very sensitive words which hurt him like hell. I many a times realized and I will be controlling myself, but at one point of time I’m behaving like this. I can understand and I feel bad for what I had done. I’m very much worried that this activity is spoiling our relationship. I’m ready to do anything for him. I want to get rid of my short temper please help me sir.

You have to do lot of introspection to find out reasons behind your anger. heredity, feelings of frustration, current life situation, stress etc are some of them. If you find any reason then try to correct it. There is a condition called impulse control disorder in which you get aggressive outbursts without reasons. Which can be treated with medicines.

Sir, I am a 22 year boy. I have a complete masculine traits and good sexual tendency regarding ejaculation. I normally masturbate but my problem is that I always feel sexual attraction for the same sex (males). When I masturbate I do it by thinking about the physical contact with a male only just as a female thinks. I’m staying as a paying guest with my friend (who is a young boy of my age only) and I do feel sexual attraction for him. While sleeping sometime I feel like touching his hand, hug him or kiss him. I also felt as if I have love for him and I want him to love me also. It is not that this is something new problem as I always felt in such a way from the age of my puberty. Am I gay or is it some psychological problem. I have never disclosed this problem to anyone due to embarrassment. What should I do, is it natural? pls guide me!!!.

You may be physically male and psychologically female which results into same sex attraction. Homosexuals may call it normal but it cannot be called natural as hetrosexuality is nature’s law. You should consult Psychiatrist as it requires extensive analysis and therapy.

Hello sir I am 21yrs old. I am a college student and I am suffering from strange ideas for last 3 months. I keep on getting dreams that I’m having an intercourse. Sometime I feel it’s very embracing being a female.

This is normal and natural. Why you should feel embarrassing when only you know about it and there is nothing abnormal in it?! Just relax and stop worrying about it.