Thank You for your valuable service. I am a 33 yr old male. Married for last 4 years. I and my wife have a very healthy sex life we have 8-10 times a week. She says I am the best lover as we enjoy our love life. But last couple of months I have this urge to have much more sex. Sometimes in middle of my work in afternoons and since I travel a lot, I want to have with other females. In short my sexual appetite has gone up tremendously and I don’t think my wife can keep up to my appetite. I don’t know what to do as I don’t want to have sex with any call girl.

At the age of 33, having sex for 8 to 10 times a week is quiet a good frequency. Desire to have a sex with other females can be considered normal sexual fantasy but that does not mean that you should go and have it. Somehow people who are in travelling job have this desire more frequently.
It is possible that simply by overdoing it, now you are sort of obsessed with it or may be bored with same partner/same positions. You may think of some novelties in your act so that you remain interested in your wife only. And if nothing works then only one mantra can work and that is ‘control’.

I’m 21yrs old. I love a boy who is 27yrs old since 5yrs. I love him like a mad. He is Muslim and I’m Hindu. Now his parents are planning to get him married. Still he is not revealing his love to them. Whenever I ask him about his marriage, he is telling that he doesn’t know what to do. If I force him to say my love to their parents, he is telling that he will attempt suicide. He had sexual relationship with me. I don’t know what to do? I’m becoming mad each day. I tried to attempt suicide also. Now I’m helpless Sir, What shall I do?

You should give him time limit (may be in days and not in months) by which he has to disclose the facts to his parents. If he fails to keep this time limit then you talk to his parents. His suicidal threat is emotional blackmailing and it instigates me to doubt his intentions.

Sir, I am in love with one girl, but she already have boyfriend. She knew it that I love her. We were good friends but problem started when I came to know that she is having another friend who is working in our office only. I objected her behavior towards him, but she said like you he is also my friend. After that our office location changed (not her friend’s). There she and her boyfriend started receiving some abusing and vulgar mails from my IP (PC). But she didn’t tell me that. I also started receiving some mails, threatening me to keep away from her. I couldn’t make complaint because it was also same from my PC only. After some days I got mail in which my & her pictures were there, which was nude (edited). He threatened that he will send these photos to my home. I ignored it but he really sent it to my home, it was my luck that no one had opened it. Again I got mail, asking me for 20000rs otherwise he will send this picture to her boyfriend and her home. She also doubted me only because she is also getting mail from my pc only. I paid 20000rs as I have no choice. After that I started receiving mails from my friend’s ID only I was shocked when I told her about it she said I only hacked her password and I am only doing all these. I asked my friends help who is in police also, he sent a mail to email address from which I am getting mail, that he should stop all this otherwise he will be in trouble. After that I stopped getting mail. But my friend’s behavior towards me is very harsh, she hates me. I couldn’t laugh from last 6 months. I think I am psychic. Don’t know what to do?

If your mail ID was hacked then you should have complained earlier to authorities. You did another mistake by giving 20000, instead you should have done police complaint. When she is involved with other guys and having hatred towards you, you should try to come out of this relationship.

Respected Sir, I am a Post Graduate student. I feel discomfort in speaking to others. All my friends say that I am always in a tensed mood. That’s true. My biggest problem is I can’t say my name if somebody asks me. I can speak to others with confidence but I regret in saying my Name. Recently a match has come to me. The boy asked me my name. I couldn’t say my name. Sir, please help me out. I have got high regards for you.

It seems that you are having Anxiety Disorder, more of social anxiety. You required to undergo in-depth analysis and counselling. Consult psychiatrist nearby or try online therapy.

Sir, I am very grateful for this service. I am a 2nd yr student of a reputed engineering college. I know one of my senior from 1st day of my college. He is also our family friend. From very beginning, he helps me in many problems in college; he supported me in many cases. When I came to know he is committed with another person, I felt very sad. Now he passed out from our college and doing job in a MNC. Still he keeps contact with me. He thinks me as his sister but he can understand I have feelings for him. I like to spend time with him. I can’t stay without him. He has his past relationship still on.

It seems that you have developed dependence on him and soft corner too! If he is already seeing some one and considering you as his sister, then do not misinterpret his relationship with you. If you are not able to control your feelings then reduce interaction with him.

Unfortunately, only you cannot solve this. Both of you have to act together. Such Interference is very common but couple has to jointly decide how much to take it. Take your husband in to the confidence and try to explain him that this is not against his mother but this is about your privacy. Rather than blaming his mother, try to establish positive communication with your husband.

I am 24 year old Guy. I have just finish my MBA & working with one MNC Bank.1 & half year back I met one girl. She is 21 year old. She was married girl with 42 Year old man. I was very close to her. She told me that she have not got married with that man, only because of some family financial problem she is staying with him from last 4 years. I love her very much & she also loves me. I asked her to come with me we will get married. She wants to come with me. But she is telling that it’s not easy to leave that person. Because she was with him from last 4 year so he will not leave her easily & he will create lots of problem for us. I can not leave without her & she also. I am very frustrated on that because I can not do anything for her.plz help me on that what I should do because of my job & carrier is also affecting from that

If she is not married to him, she can walk away anytime. Legally speaking, he can not compel her to stay with him. If you both are firm on your decision, no one can prevent you to get married. You may take help of her family members (I believe they are in your support) and in worst case, of police.

Hi Dr. Hansal, if u found this mail a bit long, pls pardon. I am in love with a gal for past 3yrs, but suddenly things got worse n the gal broke up the relationship. Lastly she told she was not happy with me that’s why she is leaving, again she told I was not caring n loving. As a software engineer I had some tensions in my office that’s why sometimes I scolded her. Now all these things she stretched like anything & one more thing she always disliked my 2/3 frnds whom I am very close since the time of my Engg. the last time when she met with me she quarreled with me like anything, in the mean time I lost my temper n I slapped her. I know what I did that was wrong, even I beg pardon but the thing is that I love her more than anything, she came into my life after a similar incident before 3 yrs back when a gal ditched me. Now she is saying she is in love with another guy. I came to know when I saw her chat logs n even she is agreeing on this matter. I tried my best to make her understand how much I love her but all in vain. What should I do now? Now I am feeling like broken, still I love her more than anyone. I think am the guilty that’s why she left me, n she is telling the affair with other guy started just 2/3 weeks back. Even she hide me things like she used to go movie, doing shopping with that guy. But she is accusing me that coz of my fault she left me. This is the second time this thing happened with me. I am in trauma, plz help me out of this situation.

Where is the love? She is seeing someone else and you are obsessed, as you do not want second break up. There is no love; rather both of you are painfully connected. Do not feel guilty as blaming is a part of the break up. You should not be the victim of blame game played at break up. Accept the break up and separate gracefully.

Hello Sir, How r u? I am 25 years girl and in love with a guy from past 4 years, we love each other very much…I just go crazy when I even hear his name. He too loves me a lot, he is a bubbly type of character. He is a Christian and I am a Muslim girl. One day my dad saw him teasing me, when I was with my friends and my dad got a wrong impression on him that he is a play boy and warned me to be careful with him. My dad and my mom hate love and intercaste marriages. My mom’s health is not good. Her BP level is high, sugar level is high due to tension, she is scared that if I and my sister (23 years) will get married in a cultured way or not? But I can’t think a life without him. I and he spoke to his parents about our marriage and with god’s grace they agreed for our marriage. I can’t even try to convince my parents, if they come to know am in love, chances are there they’ll kill me or they’ll commit suicide. I am thinking to elope. I know its a bad idea still there is no other way .I am not worried even they hate, but they should be alive at least for my sister’s life. This makes me depressed. So please suggest me the best. Thank you

You have two options, leave him or leave them. Your life events, upbringing, emotional attachments etc will play major role in your decision. You have almost decided to elope. This is surely going to shock them and they will be shaken mentally as well as socially. However, if you are thinking of fleeing and expecting them to react in a way you think is little too much on them. Honestly, this you should have thought while getting in to relationship and taking it to deeper. Now you are at the stage where you cannot expect roses all the way.

Sir, I am 24 year old girl. I did a 5 year professional course where I had friendship with a boy who was my senior for 4 years. I had a brotherhood relationship with him, but I used to touch him and speak in the public places without considering what the society will think. During my fourth year I felt in love with my classmate and still in love. My problem is he won’t like my senior friend, so I had to contact with him without knowing to my lover because I had a fear that my lover will get angry on me and My senior friend was too much possessive and will scold me if I talk about my lover. so I didn’t reveal that I am loving him because during that time my senior friend had one love failure and he also had a complex of his caste because he is SC. but once he voluntarily asked whether I am in love with my lover. I revealed my love matter to him. He spoke violently and told that he is in fear that he will start loving me. Then I stopped friendship with him. My lover and that senior are working in the same area. Many persons told to my lover that I had an illegal relationship with that boy. He has also created so many rumours. But I have met him in many public areas. Whenever I feel that he is upset I met him in the areas like park, ice cream parlour, bus stand, and bakeries. Once my lover also saw me lying on my senior friend’s shoulder but he didn’t ask anything. The reason why I hided my friendship is just because of a fear that my lover will scold me. I didn’t think that I am betraying him because I didn’t have any kind of bad intention towards my senior. But after coming away from him he has started creating rumours. Now my lover hates me. We had so many psychiatric counselling but nothing helped us. He really wants to forget the past. But the people around him are talking about the same. My lover is also having a sexual relationship with me. I revealed our love matter in my home. They are opposing me. Now my lover is in the condition that he can’t live with me peacefully and at the same time he cannot live without me. Also I can’t live without him. He couldn’t forget my past. Nearly we met 6 to 7 psychiatrists. But nothing worked out. Please give us a solution. I want my lover to forget my past. We can’t move away from the current place also. He can’t avoid from his friends also. He is also thinking now a days, whether I am a bad girl. But really I want my lover. I want to keep him happy, I want to marry him. I don’t know how this is going to be possible. I want a solution. I am in a critical position. I have to convince my parents and also I have to get back my lover with his old love without any hatred on me. Please give me a solution.

It is not a question of forgetting the past (time is the only solution, which varies in individual case depending upon so many factors); it is about accepting the past. He is not able to forget because he is not able to accept it. I do not think you can go back to original spotless relation; you have to carry on with some tint. I suppose, no male can ever take this in a positive way (that’s how males are!!), I foresee break up here.