Dear Sir I am happy to get advice from you. I already approached you two times and my problem was solved, thanks a lot for your help in all the ways. Now my problem is I got married four months back, after waiting for 8years love .He is staying in other country and I’m in other country as I’m working and studying.. But some rules have changed, so I can’t get him to my place. He can’t take me to his place where there is no scope for my studies and quite expensive and can’t manage with one person’s income. We were been together for one month after marriage. Nowadays I feel lonely; by the way I am staying with my sister in law who got married few weeks before we got married. She’s living with her husband. I don’t know what to do now. Everyone’s giving advice to me; to be here and earn money, don’t go to husband’s place. Really, I feel why people do not understand the feeling of others. My husband asks me to come but he himself is not sure about his decision whether it can be manageable. I am in one of the richest dream countries when compared to other place. Everyone is telling me not to leave till my visa is not expired. I want to be with him always but I think people around me don’t like us to live together. Please help me. What should I do?

Listen to what your heart and husband says. Even if he is not sure about managing it, give it a try. Most of the time things get settled down once you are into it.

Incidentally found out that my father is having an affair with a woman. This happened when I was trying to read a message from his phone when I accidentally opened the message. My parents have been married for 28 years now. I am absolutely clueless about what I should do as all through my life I never expected to come across something like this because my father is such an honest man. He is well known in almost the whole city as one of the most honest man ever. I am torn between whether I should not intervene as he is a man of sound judgment and maybe he has his reasons for it. On the other hand I feel my mother does not deserve this. Please tell me what to do. I am the only one who knows this. I have an elder sister but she herself is going through a lot due to work pressure so I do not wish to heighten her worries.

I understand your feelings. Ideally you should not interfere and keep this secret with you only. But if you think that your father is a man of sound judgment then you may definitely talk to him regarding your feelings about his affair, probably you may know about his side and that may help you to deal with your shock.

Hi doctor, I took your advice long back and now I am married. There is a serious problem that I am facing. I have seen people cheating me or forgetting my gestures once their work is done. People even avoid me. I really do not why? Doctor I go out of my way to help others but don’t get the fruit. People take me for granted; I have a low self esteem please help.

Many people, without assessing the worth, go out of the way to please others. People take them for granted. Introspect and change your attitude accordingly. Maintain your self-respect in relationships, otherwise people will treat you as if you do not have it.

Sir, am born with 3 siblings. I am the last. I am very practical girl and I feel money is must in living very standard life. My parents are well off to offer. My problem is they are giving preference for boys than gals. I ask them to give assets in my name and get registered. I want to be done before my marriage. How should I approach them? They think that am keen on assets when others are keeping quite. The thing is already my 1st two of them have luxury houses in there name. I and sister are not having anything in our name. Only Jewellery. So how to approach them to give my things why should boys alone enjoying everything how can I make them to understand it.. thank you

Preference for a male child is an age old psyche of majority people (male and female both) so is the case with your parents. You can not compel them to give share from their assets. It is solely their wish. If they have inherited assets from your grand father then to get the share is your right and you can demand your share. Still you and your sister convince them for your share arguing that it can give you financial securities for difficult time.
Alternatively, make yourself capable enough to earn your livelihood and feel confident about yourself. Marry a man who can provide you financial and emotional securities. (As I guess, you are full of insecurities).
Joy and enjoyment of your own money is more satisfying then money you get as inheritance.

Hello sir. I have written to you in the past as well regarding my brothers problem. My bhabhi is at her parents place and not willing to come back despite of lot of efforts from my brother’s side. You advised us to be patient as we have done our bit now if she is interested she will initiate the dialogue. I wish to tell you the development. My parents went to their place when they got to know that her uncle has expired that too we got to know it when my dad called her dad to enquire when is she coming back. They insulted my parents and said that we are not sending their daughter as your son has ill treated her. Her mother was very rude & adamant. Even the girl said she does not think that things can work out. And she has told her decision to her parents that she is not interested. It was actually a shock to my parents as instead of realizing their mistake they started to put allegations on us. My parents still said if you want we may talk to the counselor. She didn’t give a positive response even after that. My parents came back & waited for their response, because now even we want to end this relation, but with mutual consent. They didn’t call even after that. Then suddenly her father called and said lets meet up. They came to our place with their neighbors. Their neighbors initially said that the girl wants to come back provided she gets a good atmosphere at home. We still never said that we don’t want to keep her. Her mother again started shouting & said bad words against my parents & brother .The conversation started heating up & whole situation became ugly again. My brother said I can’t say anything before I speak to the girl .You should also not be forcing her as if she comes back on your pressure, she will not be happy and the scene shall be repeated. The way they blamed us, it didn’t seem that they want to send their daughters back. We don’t know what their agenda was. The final conclusion was that they shall again speak to her. She will come back only if she wants to. We know seeing the past trend that they will not call back now. We can also keep mum on the matter but our problem is that we want to get rid of that girl and they are not concluding the matter. From our end we can’t say that we want a divorce as they will demand heavy alimony which we can’t afford. Even if they ask for money we will somehow manage but she might not just come and not give divorce also. If we initiate this process of divorce with contest, my brothers’ future will be ruined as it will take years to get the divorce. What should we do? Shall we take legal course of action against them or offer them separation with mutual consent. Please advice.

Ya, that is the only option left with you.

Hello Doctor, Once again same person asking for help with different problem. (For your reference my 1st case is: I’m thin and don’t allow husband to watch vulgarity on TV or movies, because he said I’m flat.) Now his sperm count and motility is low for which I went through 2 ICSI cycles. In 1st I lost fallopian tube by ectopic case and in 2nd cycle miscarriage in 6th month of twin pregnancy. I lost my 2 girls; I saw them and now can’t control my emotions. Reason of miscarriage is incompetent cervix. This is rare case husband can’t give sperm and I can’t hold Pregnancy. I’m in severe trauma and every night I cry for my girls whom I lost. Also I’m in shock, in my pregnancy days he used to watch porn after promising me of honesty. Doctor please help me for these 2 problems. In Jan, 2010 3rd ICSI will be done on me. How should I make my mind healthy and happy?

Reasons for your unhappiness are real. Any woman in your situation will feel more or less same. You have to accept this misfortune. Only one who can really support you through this tough time is your husband, provided he understands your pain. I’m sure your gynecologist must have tried purse suturing for incompetent cervix.

Sir I have a boy friend. Both of us have good understanding. He is not agreeing for marriage. He wants to make a sex relation with me. I wanted to know that if I make a sex with him, is there any problem which can occur in future when I get married? Can he find out that I’ve done sex in past?? please give me a path wat i can do…

It is not only his wish which is important here, you should also think of your wish to get into it. You may get feeling of used up if you involve your-self under his pressure as he is going to run away (remember he is not going to marry you). Your future husband is not going to make out unless you disclose it to him or you start behaving in experienced way in the bed.

I am a 24 year old girl. I am in a relation for the last 6 years. We are in deep love with each other. We are not married. But very soon we want to get married. But there is a question regarding our relation. Actually we share a family bonding too. My mother’s father, who has a sister and the sister’s daughter, is the mother of my boyfriend. My question are-1) is our relation right to carry on legally? 2) Is there any problem which can affect our next generation? What’s your opinion doctor? Please help me.

As you are 24 and if he is above 21 then there cannot be any legal objection. This can increase the chances of hereditary illnesses or genetic deformities, if any running in the family, to your generation.

Hello sir, I am married since 2 yrs. just after marriage we went abroad and for 2 yrs we were staying there. I and my husband had many small problems to fight for and after every fight we used to console each other that it’s because we are away from our family and friends but now when we are back, his mother is with us as she is a widow. We are still taking counseling for our stupid problems (since 1 yr). Now this counselor once said that I have an adjustment disorder after which my husband in every fight says the same which really makes me upset. He also beats me up as he has got high temper and sometimes regret for the same after he cools down, so this time after coming to India I decided to change. My counselor told me to take up all the household responsibility which I did but my mother in law wasn’t happy. She started complaining that I don’t allow her to work in the kitchen or to touch the utensils which infact I did, all in good intention but now the situation is such that my husband wants divorce from me just because I am not able to adjust with his mother and also he brings the old problems on which I have really worked on and succeeded like shopping freak and all. He doesn’t respect my parents but he expects that I will respect his mother despite of her taunts to me. He says that being a girl I should bear everything and the same is said by his mother as well, which I strongly oppose. Everyday I am undergoing lot of stress. I love him and I want to be with him but to adjust with his mother is not possible. He has one younger brother who will get married next year. His father died due to cancer 2 years back since then his mother is staying with her sisters and home nurses with whom she could never adjust and finally came to stay with us. Now even she says that it’s better that we both get separated as she doesn’t have any hope in our relationship. What should I do?

Your counselor should address these issues in her session. She should talk to your husband and counsel him as well, because only he can play a key role here. He should make to understand that an adjustment is couple’s responsibility.

I had sex 6 months ago. Week after week I felt strange feeling. Right now I feel my penis is dead. I still can feel it when I masturbate, but am not that sensitive as before. I did not get sick or anything else. What happened to me?

Nothing, you have become more conscious about it. Just relax and stop evaluating your erection. Things will get normal automatically.