Sir, I am 26 year old and I am indulged in masturbation habits from last 15 years. I have no control on my will power and I watched porn films daily to masturbate, but problem is that during watching porn film or reading article about sex, a transparent substance leak out from my penis unwillingly. What is that substance, and what should I do to leave this bad habit, can I get normal?

Masturbation is a normal physiological activity seen in young people. However watching porn movie compulsively is not healthy. You need to exercise self control over getting stimulation through porn movies. White fluid which you are talking about is prostatic fluid which is secreted due to sexual excitement. In short there is nothing abnormal with you.  The only way you can get rid of this habits is by self control and distracting you self while you have an urge to act.

Hello sir, I a unmarried boy of 25. I have regular habit of masturbation. Some time before I get an affair with a widow of 28. At the time of intercourse I feel the problem of premature ejaculation in me. After three months I leaved her because of my posting since 2 year. Now I am getting married within one month and I am very afraid with my premature ejaculation. Please help me in this matter I really very thankful to you.

Habitual masturbation and long interval between intercourses some time leads to premature ejaculation. Kindly put word Masturbation as well as Kegel’s exercise in search box (Top right) and you will find my answers on this issue. Try to do Kegel’s exercise and you may take medicines called fluoxetine, by prescription.

I am 23 and I like a guy (23).He says that he needs time. Initially I bugged him to accept my love, by blackmailing him that I will die without him. He accepted me in his life. He has a sister and an elder brother who are to be married before him. I am elder daughter in my home. I am being forced to marry. And this guy says that he likes me and goes out with me. But does not promise a marriage with me. Moreover he says that he is not matured still. He keeps saying that I am fat whenever he sees a skinny girl. He keeps saying that I initially blackmailed him and that’s why he is causing all this pain to me. I said that I am ready for a break-up. But he does not let me go. What should I do?

Relationship, started on basis of blackmailing and has an element of revenge (“He keeps saying that I initially blackmailed him and that’s why he is causing all this pain to me”) is never going to be healthy. Better accept that it is not going to be worked out in mutually satisfying way. It is better to come out and you may have to explain this fact to him, probably he may agree to break up (otherwise, the way you forced yourself on him, you can also walk away like that, for betterment of both of you!!)

Hi doctor I am facing a very big problem these days. I am married since 2 and half years and i want to have baby. I have told my husband also about it but my husband is not interested in having sex with me. It’s been a year since we have had sex. I am not able to understand what has happened to him. Earlier I used to think that because of his office stress but now this is also not a problem. In the initial year of my marriage we could not have sex since I was scared and used to have lot of pain during intercourse. But now my husband says that whenever he thinks of having sex he thinks that I will get pain and he leaves that. I am getting very frustrated and not able to understand what to do in such situation. Please help me

There may be many possible reasons behind this (eg. He may not be liking you or your body, may be involved somewhere, may have sexual problem, may be revengeful to your initial avoidance etc.), but not the one he is giving. Ask him to involve in foreplay, there is no question of pain in it. If he avoids that also then it is sure that reasons are different then what he says. Communicate with him regarding your desire to have a sex and not baby (question of baby comes after normal sexual life). Consulting a psychiatrist is also a good idea.

Incidentally found out that my father is having an affair with a woman. This happened when I was trying to read a message from his phone when I accidentally opened the message. My parents have been married for 28 years now. I am absolutely clueless about what I should do as all through my life I never expected to come across something like this because my father is such an honest man. He is well known in almost the whole city as one of the most honest man ever. I am torn between whether I should not intervene as he is a man of sound judgment and maybe he has his reasons for it. On the other hand I feel my mother does not deserve this. Please tell me what to do. I am the only one who knows this. I have an elder sister but she herself is going through a lot due to work pressure so I do not wish to heighten her worries.

I understand your feelings. Ideally you should not interfere and keep this secret with you only. But if you think that your father is a man of sound judgment then you may definitely talk to him regarding your feelings about his affair, probably you may know about his side and that may help you to deal with your shock.

Dr. I have a girl friend since three yrs. & now we are married. It’s been 15 days that we have got married but still we have no sexual or physical relation. So I want to know how I can prepare my wife for having a relation. Are there any tablets or any powder available in market of Lucknow which I can give her in water, juice or any other drink, or do you have any other suggestion, and then please tell me?

Come on you cannot do this to anyone. Instead, create romance in your relationship. Show your feelings, warmth and care towards her. Finally communicate with her about sexual relationship.

Respected sir, you give valuable suggestion and solution to all. I daily notice every problem and solution minutely. Sir I have a question that I love a girl very deeply, and she too. We are going to marry. But we share a distant family relationship. Parents of both do not accept it as they are very conservative. I want to know that whether there are chances of any biological problem if we get married? We are ready to face all other problem except this. So sir, please help us soon. It’s urgent. Thank you.

Risk of hereditary illnesses can increase. You should make your family tree and find out illnesses running in family. After finding out illnesses you can take medical opinion.

Hi, I’ve been married for over 6 yrs and known my husband for almost 15 yrs. We have a happy married life, and a small child. Recently, however, I sensed that my husband was very disinterested, aloof and later found out that he is having an affair with someone at work. I feel shocked, humiliated, cheated and helpless – I ask him to stop and he is unwilling to. I don’t want to uproot our child, and move to my hometown. Moreover, I cannot just walk out on him. What should I do? I feel suicidal sometimes and I am very helpless about how to sort of this situation. Pls help.

You should have not left him. This attitude serves as a breather and very relieving for the men. Go back as soon as possible. Try to talk to that woman in a sensible way. Being a woman, she may understand your feeling better (I’m sure you must have had hard time convinceing your husbund). You may speak to his friends and concern relatives (although doing this may invite some fights between two of you) and expose him in such a way that he feels ashamed of what he has done.

Sir, from the last five months I am experiencing a severe depression and headache. All this has happened due to the following reason: The incident happened when I went to Rajasthan for my engagement purpose. On 10th April-09 when I was about to leave my home to see the girl I got a phone call from a strange guy. He told me that the girl you are going to see I am in love with her and we are roaming together. I have told this to my parents they told me that somebody has just given a fake call; you first see the girl and meet her then only you come to know about the actual story. Since they have already liked the girl, I went with my own and cousin brothers. I met her and she told me that she was not aware about the phone call. At that time I made up my mind to say no as apart from phone call which has created a doubt in my mind, I didn’t like the girl much and I told this to my brother as this is the case .After that due to my brothers and aunt pressure I have said yes. After coming from Rajasthan this doubt that who has given the call disturbed my mind and I fell into depression. I was so much tensed that I was not able to sleep properly. I thought that I should have taken more time. I have said yes under pressure with little time, I must have said no, why my brothers put me under pressure as they have taken this issue lightly or I should not had left home when the phone call came or I should have enquired about the phone call. Finally the engagement is broken after two months. The guy who has given the call is still a mystery. Even though this relationship is broken all these past events keep coming in my mind and disturbs me. I have lost my self belief, confidence and the self image in my family. That day keeps coming in my mind and disturbs me a lot. One bad decision has caused me so much. I didn’t imagine in my whole life that such thing could happen to me. Please advise and help me to come out from this otherwise I would not be able to concentrate on my next engagement. I have got a high regards for you.

I agree that you made a mistake by taking such an important decision of your life under someone’s pressure. But now that you have rectified your mistake by breaking an engagement you should stop thinking about it. you are already out of this. Try to look forward in your life and move ahead.

I have a friend whom I know through chatting for past 8 years and we started meeting each other only before 2 years. She is 23 years old. We were very close, discussing about almost all the things. Before 1 year, we use to talk for more than 8 hrs/day and that was a time when I was searching for job. After that I got into a company and shifted from Chennai to Bangalore and I could’t talk as we did previously. Because of this we often get into fights and always start quarrelling. She is very possessive and very sentimental and that’s the big problem for me. Now, she is threatening me that I should not get married to someone else and if that happens, she keeps telling that she may end her life. Please advice as to what I have to do. Because of this, I am also loosing my peacefulness.

You have not mentioned that whether you wanted to marry her initially and then taking a back step or you are not interested and she is compelling you through threat. If you were doing a time pass then you have choose a wrong one. She must have developed emotional dependence and in such case it is very difficult for her to face rejection. However, you should not succumb to her threats. One can not agree to marry on such threats. It is a kind of emotional blackmailing and that may run through out the span of your relationship in various forms, once feared.