I am deeply, truly and madly in love with someone. He is poor, only a degree holder and not so handsome guy. But I care nothing. He is not earning and 7years older to me. We are in love for 6 years but, my parents and relatives hate him. They have never spoken to him or met him. I deeply know he is good. Entire his community knows he is good. But my parents never listened to me. They got me married to a doctor who is rich than us and really a nice guy so they think. It’s been 4 months we married. I just hate him so much. He forces me to have sex, slapped me twice but portrays as if he loves me a lot in front of all. I told my parents I can’t live with him and I want to go back to my love. But they got me bock to my husband’s home. He says he will not force me but parents say they will die if I don’t be a good wife. I never behaved as if I hate my husband in front my in laws .but my husband told them. They felt bad but didn’t scold me. I have lot of respect for them. I don’t want to hurt them. I’m just living for others. But how long. My love is ready for me to come back but, my parents will die. If I won’t go to my boy friend, I will really be unhappy. I have lost hope to live or laugh. Please help me out. I have got suicidal tendencies all ready but trying to get over them. Please help me.

I think this is between you and your parents. Why you should hate your husband? Contrarily you have done injustice to him. Any male would expect sexual relation with wife! You have not mentioned under what circumstances he slapped you. Just because you could not displease your parents, you made compromise and now you hate him!!
You have only two options; accept your current marriage or go against your parent’s wish. If you are having suicidal thoughts then you should consult Psychiatrist on urgent basis.

Hello sir. I love a boy. He is my friend since childhood. He proposed me and I liked him so I accepted his proposal. The thing is I have been brought up in a kiddish way. Many a times my parents used to warn me that I have to act in a matured way but I never minded them. But now my lover is forcing me to behave like matured girl which I was not used to. I love him truly and am ready to do anything for him and just because he forced I started acting in a matured way and now I liked it too. But at a point of time or at some situation I am behaving in a kiddish way which makes my lover get angry on me. I explained him that it will take time for me to get used to the matured activity but he is not accepting it and blaming me that I’m acting as a kid, but all my other friends and family members are comfortable with my kiddish activities except my lover. I want to make him happy. Please help me.

Some men want mother figure in their wife. So they want her to be mature than her age. Your lover might be of that type. If he wants you to behave maturely then you have to behave accordingly to make him happy

Hi Dr, I was going through this site & somehow found interesting & thought that if I share my problem & get any suggestions. I’m 30 years & for last 3 years settled abroad. I’m married for 1 year 3 months. It’s a love marriage & I had a love affair of 10 years with my wife before we got married. Let me brief you few things before I get into the actual problem. After I completed my Masters I left my home city & moved to other city for my job. For a year or 2 me & wife, she was my girl friend that time, was in touch over phone, chat & even I used to go back to my city & meet her twice in a year. Those days both of our parents never accepted our relationship & my parents used abusive languages to her parents. Even my parents always wanted me to send them money from my income & that demand always used to go up. But I didn’t have any choice. All these stuffs my girlfriend didn’t liked it & we used to quarrel on those things. Now due to all these problems, mental tension, loneliness as well as sexual needs I fall in love with another girl in the city where I was working, she was also coming out from a broke up affair. Initially we were just friends, but soon we got very close. But from very beginning I told her that I already have a girlfriend back to my home city whom I have to get married, even she had some family related things where she have to marry someone chosen by her parents, our caste was different even our food habits. But still due to moral support & loneliness, good feeling, sexual need, whatever it is we got closed & love each other. Now with both these girls though I was physical but didn’t have intercourse because both of them didn’t wanted to have it before marriage & I never forced them. Now the time came when I was coming to abroad leaving my job in India, the separation between me & the girl with whom I fall in love in my working city was painful but we accepted it as our fate & moved on. Before coming to abroad I was in my home city for 2 weeks to spend time with my parents, relatives, & my girl friend there, but somehow my girl friend came to know about my relation with the girl in my working city & we had a big quarrel, at the end I told her that it will good that we should break up as I have lost attraction towards you as I was in love with that girl. Even she realized that my sexual attraction towards her also diminished & feelings as well. But she continuously blamed me for all these but she also told she can’t come out of this relation. She will commit suicide if I get out of this relation. I worked for 3 years in India. During this course of 3 years my parents somehow came into terms with her and her parents, agreed on the marriage. My brothers, sisters, other relatives also knew about our long love relationship. So keeping everyone in my mind & not to hurt anyone I agreed to carry on this relation. After 1 year in abroad I went back & got married to her, my girlfriend with whom I had 10 years of affair but I could feel it fading fast. After marriage I can feel it that I’m not getting any kind of sexual attraction towards her. Initially I used to do it once in a week just to make her happy but I could sense that it’s not coming from my inside, but soon it worsened. I started losing entire sexual interest towards her & its like more than once a month. Between it also happened that she was eager to have it & started it but though I was not feeling from inside I thought maybe I’ll try to satisfy her. But I couldn’t hold my erection long as I was not feeling from inside. I don’t have a problem with sexual arousing or erection because, while I watch porn these days as well, I get erection & do masturbate. due to loss of sexual attraction towards my wife I’m now indulge into internet sex, where I have couple of women who are also in sexual need. We have sexual chat, phone sex as well, like talking erotic, get excitement, erection, & masturbation. So my sexual need, arousing, erection, everything is fine but I don’t have any attraction to my wife. Another thing is that, my foreskin doesn’t go back & I use condom while having sex with my wife. So it has also happened when I’m at peak of my excitement & I’m tearing of the condom packet, taking it out & putting on, during this I used to lose erection as well. Within all these I feel pity for my wife & want to get back that sexual desire towards her but unable to get it. Couple of times it happened that thought I was not feeling to have sex with my wife. Since she wanted, I tried but didn’t have any erection due to my mind was not willing to have it with her. I discussed this with wife, she got upset. That time I told her, please don’t force me, if I get urge I’ll do it. but I hardly get it towards her, if at all I’m in sexual need, still I don’t feel like doing it with her & even that things play on my mind that if I do against my will I won’t have proper erection & will be a failure. Even after that she don’t even try to have sex with me, as she feels like if I get an urge I’ll do it. So please help me to get out of this problem, we have everything perfect in our relationship other than small quarrels related to our parents but this sex life is getting totally ruined. There was a time before marriage & before the other girl came into my life, I used die for having sexual act with her but after marriage I hardly get any attraction. Please advise me what to do?

Your marriage is based on compromise from both of you. You compromised even you had lost interest in her and she compromised with your infidelity. Naturally there has to be bitterness within. With these emotional baggages, I do not think that your sexual life can come to normal. Both of you need to accept this and should take couple therapy to resolve your deep laid emotional issues.

Hi, I am Jasper. I am Doing my UG. My family is a very good and decent family living in a village. We are a middle level family living in tradition way. My problem is about my MOM. She is around 50 yrs old and working as a teacher in a govt school. She is average tall and not fat and having no medical problems. I get depressed and feel bad and irritated to see her wearing saree exposing her navel. In house she will not hide her navel and often while going to school and marriage functions she exposes it badly. Mostly I feel to die when peoples eye points her navel this happens when I go with her out. (I think she notices it) another thing is my friends visit my house often because my college is near my house. At that time I see some friends staring at her and passing comments (I have heard it).I don’t know why she is doing like this. She watches film and sure, she knows what is going on film (Navel shows of heroines).However, even she doesn’t take any steps to hide. Can any one help me how can I let to know my mom about this? Moreover, stop exposing her navel. Whether there is any book giving advice. Plz answer and give me advice. Or is there anything wrong on me. Plz think on my side.

Many females have habit of exposing their navel while they are dressed up in sarees. It is consider sensuous and they do it for seeking an attention of others. In Most of the cases, it is associated with personality. They do not find any thing wrong in this. Nevertheless, I agree with you, at certain age it is not desirable. Talk to her about this in very quiet way (I mean do not offend, advise or confront). You may think of taking help of your sister, if you have. 

I’m married for a year now. We got engaged 6months before our marriage. He’s the only guy I’ve ever dated. We dated for 1 1/2 years before we got engaged. No past neither flings nor affairs no fooling around. Never believed in it though I’ve had numerous proposals from guys I thought its better to enjoy life with friends now than get into relationships. The problem is like always I was over at my guy place and I just happened to use his laptop as I needed to use the internet. I found several porn sites open. When I checked tab I found more links. I was just very taken aback. Since I was upset he figured out the reason and without me even asking him or complaining he promised me he’ll never ever visit one again. He doesn’t need to and they don’t mean anything to him. I blindly believed him. Never doubted him for anything. I’m not the suspicious kind of a person nor do I snoop around in others business. 6months into marriage like always I was surfing the net and on the address slot I found the porn site links I’d seen way back then. I immediately asked him that are u watching porn again and he just denied it completely and told me it’s from the past. The thing is I didn’t believe the story. I hate liars or lying. That’s one thing I can’t stick. Be honest and accept whatever you are doing, good or bad. Life rolled on I found newer sites and I again asked him and he again denied. After Diwali(2008) I was admitted to the hospital for asthma. The day I came back home from the hospital the same day my brother in law was leaving for college after Diwali break. Since I was advised rest I was sleeping. At 4 in the morning I woke up and found him missing. I went looking for him and found him masturbating in a room. [We had sex that very evening. We’d not had sex in 6 days and though just back from the hospital I still had sex because I knew he’d be desperate]. I was so shocked that I just came back to my room and slept. I couldn’t take the site of him. After a week of no talking he finally asked me what the deal is. I told him and all he had to say was I tried stopping myself but I couldn’t stay away from porn. We’ve had 4 massive fights one time when I literally slapped him. Till date he still watches it. When I’m away from him or he’ll try sending me to my parent’s house when he’s off work. I have clearly stated my feelings to him. Frankly it’s not the porn it’s the lying and hiding which is bothering me. I can’t stand liars. I’ve never lied to him even knowing I’ve made a grave mistake I’m honest. That’s what I want him to be. I even told him I’ll watch it with you and act things out be a part of your fantasies if that’s what you want .But he doesn’t say anything. He just says I’m sorry its a mistake and it will never happen again and then again the minute I’m out of the house he’s jerking off again. I can’t trust him anymore. I love him too much to end things and I can’t talk to him because he never wants to get into discussions. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.

Almost all males are voyeur to some extent and some of them are addicted to it. He is amongst the one who might be addicted. These addicted males keep on watching, collecting and storing pornographic materials in different forms. Many women are very sensitive about men’s habit of looking at pornographic materials and feel neglected. He is lying because you object and fight. Stop objecting and fighting but you should leave this topic with a note that you do not like his habit. You have to understand that this is like other habits (Smoking, Alcohol etc.), more you nag more it worsens. Do not think that his habit is because of some inadequacies on your part.

How to control emotional balance when mind don`t except the bitter reality? WHAT TO DO WHEN POSSESION COMMANDS US?

Your question is very much in general you need to give me specifications in order for me to analyze and help you with the same.

I am 26yr old in LDR. We met few times and had sex. Recently he started business n became busy. Earlier we had time to chat for long know each other’s interests and background well. We enjoy phone sex too. Now he cites his frequent travels and job-demands needing great attention but calls for about 20mins and talks only about sex. I miss him and want to feel him more emotionally and sexually. That’s why I am unable to call for breakup to check for his real interest in me. Please advice

It seems that you are not his prime priority as even though he is busy he can spare sometime for a relationship if he wants to maintain but it seems that he is interested in only physical relation with you. But if that is not what you want then you need to talk to him about what you feel and clarify with him about your expectations in the relationship.

This is for my father in law. He was a class 1 officer, retd. For the last 3 years leading homely life with his wife. Children are all away (Gulf). The problem is he is doubting his wife and creating stories about affairs even from 25 years before incidents and starts abusing her verbally as well as physically. He was a calm person but after this, he became different and now he is not ashamed at all to explain to anybody about these false stories about his wife. What is this type of illness called? How it can be cured. He is taking some medicines after consulting a doctor but there is no improvement and now he rejected to visit any doctor. Rest all activities are normal .he drinks alcohol and that time it is increased. Wife is now living with some relatives because of fear. pl. help me and suggest the way out

Your father in law is suffering from Paranoid Delusions, which is a symptom of many mental illnesses. It may be related to his Alcoholism. Please consult nearby Psychiatrist, he will diagnose the actual illness and suggest the way out. If he does not come then you go alone to consult.

Dr., In spite of having good foreplay, my vagina remains slightly dry during intercourse. What could be the reason? The problem is since two months. Thankfully, I am not on any medication and do not suffer from irregular periods. Also, there’s no stress whatsoever and I have plenty of fluids. Please help.

Lack of proper excitement is the most common reason for this. Some women have natural dryness also. You can use lubricating gel or lubricated condoms to reduce dryness. With foreplay, you may try to increase your excitement through erotic talks, pictures, movies etc (depending up on your interest).

Respected Sir, I got married 15 days before. We were virgins. She took emergency contraceptive pill because she feared some accident occurred but I am sure it was safe sex. After consuming she didn’t realize any problem. She is also in end of 3rd and beginning of 4th week of her menstrual cycle. Please advise whether there is any chance of any such problem arising in future and any remedial measures needed. Thanking you

You mean chances of pregnancy? Chances of pregnancy is almost nil provided it was safe sex and emergency contraceptive pill is taken within 72 hours.