I’m having oral sex with my wife, lots of time. Is this a sex problem?

No, so far you and your wife are comfortable with it. It is a matter of preference and couples does have their own sexual preferences.

Dear Sir, I am urgently in need of your help. It is now 5yrs for our marriage. My husband stopped having sex with me since 4yrs (after birth of our son). He used to give different reasons for not coming to me-1)My behavior, 2)that I have gone against him to my parents house,3)his mother complains a lot about me. Today I have completely changed, I do whatever pleases him. But now he tells me that he has turned ‘Insensitive’. He tells me to take him to a doctor. What do I do sir? I have been to counselors but of no use. Only waste of money. Please advise me about his behaviour. Ample foreplay does not make him react at all. Secondly also please recommend me a GOOD doctor in Mumbai where he will be given the right treatment. Is this curable? Will he regain his sensation? He is not sure of the exact reason for not having sex. Please Doctor please, advise me what to do. Day by day I am turning impatient, I cry every night in vain.

There may be number of reasons for him to turn insensitive, only interaction with him can give the correct clue. Consulting a psychiatrist will surely give some relief and will further help him solve his insensitivity issues. You may visit Dr. P.C.Shastri.

Hi Doctor. First of all I would like to mention that you are doing a wonderful job by providing solutions to everybody’s problems. I had shared my problem with you earlier also. I am married for 1 ½ years with a 6 months baby. I had certain issues with my husband and in laws in the past. They couldn’t provide me emotional support during my pregnancy. The outcome of which was that we fought a lot & I came to my parents for 1 month. I only initiated to go back thinking about me and my kid’s future. As advised by you I have started financially contributing as asked by my father in law. You also advised me to give sometime to my husband as my relation with my in laws seem to be on track but my hubby was very cold towards me and needed sometime to come back. It has been 2 months now since I came back .His attitude towards me is now changing for good but when it comes to physical, it is practically absent. We didn’t have any physical relation for last one year. I have given him hints many a times directly or indirectly by saying things like we are not living a normal husband and wife relation but according to him everything is fine. He doesn’t discuss about when we should start having relation. He doesn’t even kiss me. When I talk about that he says we will do it and I am not comfortable with the baby in the same room. We can go to other room for that. He said that quite sometime back. Afterwards I didn’t discuss anything. I don’t want to discuss it again and again. I also feel uncomfortable and don’t want to give him any impression that I am desperate for it. It’s just that I am scared that if it continues like that it will never happen. He doesn’t have any disease but he is stressed because of work pressure. This pressure will remain forever because his job is like that even if he changes his job. When I feel frustrated I start nagging and that upsets him a lot and on which he says that you are always complaining. I feel unwanted and when I repeatedly tell him this, he tells me that it is your problem and that he feels things are improving. He gives his love to his parents and kid but I am yet to create a place in his heart. I don’t know what to do? How long should I wait? How do I control myself from not complaining? If I wait patiently would he come back to me? What kind of attitude shall I have towards him? Please advice.

It seems that he is taking a sort of revenge by depriving you sexually and emotionally. Stop asking for sex and stop nagging too. Try to overcome your frustration by doing some meaningful activities or job. If you can keep yourself happy and busy in your own activities then he will automatically try to seek your attention and care. At that time, do not rush to please him but let him realize your worth. You have to keep good amount of patience for this.

Sir I am in love with one girl but she doesn’t like me. But we were good friends since 4 yrs. And now she is not responding to me. I am not able to sleep in nights and concentrate in work. My head aches daily. I am not able to forget her. Please suggest something.

Accept that she is not for you. Stop meeting or talking to her. If possible keep her away from your sight. Time will take care of the rest.

Hi Doctor, I have a problem that I think no body loves me, that nobody will do anything for me, I never feel loved. Though my partner loves me, I always fight with him, that he does not love me. I do not like when he gives importance to his family then me. I have discussed this so many times but he is not bothered. If he is good he is good but if he is bad then he curses me badly which I do not like. I like love him doctor but he wants me to love his family also, which is not possible the same way. We are together for last 4 years but I don’t feel any trust or faith or hopes from him. However, I just love him lots and can’t stay without him. Then I don’t want to adjust also every time with his family. I want to live my life freely happily with him. I am really going mad doctor over all this issues. We are still not married also and has not told his parents yet as he doesn’t want to hurt them so early as I m of other caste. I don’t know doctor I feel like committing suicide.

I’m surprised to know that you are in such a close relationship and how come he has not disclosed this relation to his parents. You love him so much but in 4 years, he has not given you trust, faith or hope. Considering these facts I think, what keeps you in relation is not your love but your emotional dependence on him. When you feel that your expectations are not meet in any relations then it is a time to introspect and analyze your needs. Reexamine your relationship, be clear about what you want in relationship and then discuss your feelings keeping that background in mind. I am sure he will understand your feeling if he has genuine feelings for you.

Hi Doctor. I am 21 year old. I lost my dad at the age of 14. I am a person who gets possessive with small little things, say Friend or my Relationship. I feel I have no one. I cry almost everyday. I don’t speak to my Mom or Brother though I know they are very important to me. Now my mom and brother are into a conclusion that I am a reserved person that’s the reason I don’t mingle with them. My guy says I am Psychic and I need some consultation. I am suffering from some pain. He even tells that due to my possessiveness nobody will be there in any kind of relation with me. I am depressed, feel like joining Rehabilitation. Help me. I am suffering from headache since 5 days. I broke my relation with my guy and my friends.

You might be feeling insecure from within, may be because of loss of father at tender age. You have to work out on that. Counseling may help you to overcome your insecurities and depression.

Dr. I am a 22 year old unmarried girl…actualy a student…right now i am going around with a guy. before this relationship I had 1 relationship and my new boyfriend is aware of it, and y i had broke off with that guy and he supported me a lot to forget him, last year we both started going around with each other, earlier he was very caring for me, v had good time without any fights for starting 5 months, but then suddenly things changed, v started having fights, i was not understanding him, he only said that he loves me a lot, and i am very beautiful etc etc…and he never committed to me as we are intercast as he cant go against his parents, i thought its just a starting of our relationship , may be later on we can decide about it so i did not break with him, we did sex also, now 1 year is over , and last week we had fight and he said that its not necessary to talk to you daily, i have no time for you, and we are not true love for each other……..now after week he is sorry for everything, and saying that his condition was terrible that time, now please suggest me…….should i continue with him and if i do then again it will be a time pass…….his parents looking for a girl for him…..and he has no objection….i really don’t know what he wants from me now………i am confused…..i love him madly………I supported him, some where i do admit my mistakes, and i have learnt a lot from my mistakes……..one thing is sure he just cant leave his parents, i am not saying to leave them but he is also not ready to accept me as we are intercast……..as a girl i am ready to convince my parents…….but he is not……..what does it mean…….now what should i do…….my studies effecting a lot….i feel so dull these days and depressed too…..i am not able to get that y he is not caring now, and i have no gutts to ask him anything…as i want to avoid fights…and i know these questions will lead to fights….and i don’t want to hurt him more………i am helpless…….

He has never committed and he does not mind seeing other girls for marriage, these two things imply that he is not meaning serious relationship with you. More over you surrender your body to a person that does not hold any commitment or sincere feelings. This must have taken away interest from the relation more. In other words, you have been taken for ride. Sooner you accept this fact better your self-respect will be preserved. Accept that this relation is not going to work out.

Hi, I am 25 year old girl and was in a relationship for 2 years and was sexually active quite a lot. I will be getting married to a different person now, will he know from my physical condition at the sex organs that I have done it before as the condition is not that good. Please help me. Should I tell him before?

He will not know from your sex organs but experienced male can make out from the way you respond during sexual act. On moral ground it may sound wrong but you should not disclose this to him. It may create problem in your relationship, today or tomorrow.

I am 56 and I had sex with my friend’s daughter yesterday. She is 18yrs old. We didn’t use a condom during intercourse. I ejaculated a lot into her vagina but during that she pained a lot. What would be the reason behind the pain? Does age factor make difference for that? Is it sexually safe to keep such relationship with her? Please advice.

Morally this is wrong. Girl much younger than you and that too friend’s daughter! Her pain is normal phenomenon and it has nothing to do with your age. There is a risk of pregnancy if you are not taking due precautions.

I’m in therapy for military sexual trauma. I was raped and sodomized by more than one service member. I saw the man who sodomized me some months later with a woman. My therapist asked me if I was jealous. Why would she even think of asking me this?

Just to confirm your sexual orientation, I suppose. You may feel  jealous,  if you are passive homosexual.