Hi Doctor. I am writing to you the 2nd time. The first time when you gave me suggestion it really worked out. Let me tell you my problem. I got divorced 2years ago. Post which one of my friend has proposed me and this happened last December. He is 35years old, and has his own business. It’s a distant relationship. He stays in south India, (I wouldn’t like to mention the name of the place) and I’m from Hyderabad. Initially we happened to talk over the phone and he proposed me over the phone. I thought he is taking advantage of my situation so I didn’t respond to his proposal and said that we will be good friends. He continued to do so. He requested to meet him once, and after several attempts of him, I decided to meet him. We decided to meet in a different place and not in his or my city. I was very head strong and had lot of attitude, I projected this attitude so that he shouldn’t take advantage of things. He again proposed me and said we will marry. We were on holiday for 5days, but we were in different rooms. On the day before leaving he said that he is okay me being divorcee, and will get married after a year. I felt some how this guy his hones and continued my relationship. No doubt he is very caring and loving. He is very practical. He has to go against his family to get married to me. Because of me he left his father’s business, (because he wouldn’t agree to this proposal) and started his own business. He loves me a lot no doubt about it. He is very practical; he doesn’t believe in giving false promises or false hopes and never tried to impress me. He is what he is and I’m happy about it. But my only problem is sometimes he deviates from me. What I mean is sometimes he just doesn’t give me time. He only calls me in the morning before leaving the office and after coming home. I know he is busy, I understand that, but what I tell him is at least take out little time to talk to me. When I say this he gets angry. He usually closes office by 8.30 and then goes out with his friends and comes home by 10.30 and he spends his time with me. During this time, I feel why doesn’t he come home strait and give me time. When I say this he gets angry. He says why don’t you understand this is how I’m and don’t try to change me. I am not trying to changing him. My feeling is why he doesn’t feel to come home and talk to me. I feel whole day I wait for him and even after closing the office he still doesn’t feel like talking to me. Everyday we argue on the same and he says why you argue so much, why can’t you talk with love for the little time we get. One such incident happened this Sunday, where he called me spoke to me for 30minutes, and then went out for wedding and later went out with friends. He said he will come by 4.30 and then talk to me. I got irritated; I said why you don’t feel like talking to me. He states talking doesn’t mean loving a person. But I am unable to take this attitude of him. Sometimes I feel I should break up, but when I sit and peacefully think he is right. But I am unable to convince myself for this. He says from next year I will be with you, and then all the time will be yours. (Since his family wouldn’t agree for the wedding, he will come out of his family) What shall I do please suggest? Also help me how to communicate with him and convince him to give time to me as well.

Stop nagging and complaining. It will further worsen the situation. On the contrary enjoy talking to him whenever both of you get the time. You and your talks should be so interesting that he will automatically start looking forward to talk to you.

I was in a relationship with a men form past 6 year. He is married and I am 33 years old. My problem is, when he is physically closed with me; I have no sexual feeling or sensation. When I’m trying to engage in inter-course I have some sex problem please help me.

What do I understand by some sexual problem?  I want some more details about your relationship and sexual problem to help you.

I am in love with my classmate. He is son of my father’s friend. We are really very good friends. He means so much too me. But its one sided love. He has sexual attraction towards me and we had sex many times. He says it casual sex, sometimes he feels that if this would not have happened between us then our friendship could be in better position. But as such he doesn’t regret about this part of our relation. But now I’m failing to cope up with this situation ,as publicly we are like girlfriend boyfriend but in actual for him I am just a friend, sometimes I forget this thing and I start expecting things from him as a lover as showing possessives, care and all what I give to him but he doesn’t. When I don’t get back the same from him I start losing my patience. I know this is wrong and because of my behavior he is fading up with me. He is ready for live in but he says he can’t be devoted with me, and I have to understand this thing that he doesn’t love me. If I want to live with him, what should I do? I don’t want to lose him because being honest he is a very good friend I ever had. And except having sex with me there is nothing which can prove that he has not been a good friend and I know it’s my problem that I love him. So what should I do? Try to suppress or leave him or accepting his conditions?

He is treating you as sex object. I might be sounding harsh to you but ask him to maintain the friendship without sex. If he can, continue the relationship and if he can’t, leave him.

I am a married man and my wife is pregnant. Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy? If yes then in tell me about the position and if not then why?

Avoid intercourse for first three months to avoid the risk of abortion. However, chances of abortion are very rare. Then onwards you can do in side-to-side and rear position. You may go for male up position with minimum weight transfer precautions. During last two months, avoid it to reduce the possibilities of premature delivery.

My husband was doing B.A.in arts subject in second year. His father was a minister at that time. He sent my husband to Dominican republic on donation for MBBS study. At that time our engagement was done I was in 2nd MBBS at B.J Ahmedabad. He went for studying but being an arts student he was not able to cope up and came back to India after 6 year trial and 20 lakhs expense. I have done M.S. in ophthalmology. Now I have a private practice but he has no business. I think he is not trying for it. He has conflict with his father because of habit of spending more money. He also tried a suicide attempt once. His nature is very angry. So please guide me.

As his father was a minister, his personality must have emerged with typical traits (in background of neglect, dominance and power).His current problem must have deep roots linked to his personality, upbringing and failures. This requires good analysis and counselling. Try to seek professional help.

Hello, we are in an affair for the past 8years. My parents agree to this relationship and so does his mother and siblings, but his father do not agree. We are now in a dilemma, how to go about the marriage as we also do not want to disrespect his father. We have been waiting for him for the past one year for his consent, but he still does not answer. It also does not sound good that we get married ourselves. What should we do because it’s also important that we get settled now?

Ask his mother and siblings to convince him. They can go up to the extent of creating pressure. Give him a deadline up to which you will wait for his permission and then you will go ahead. If he still remains unmoved then unfortunately you have go against his wish.

Sir, I am 27 yrs old woman I have one 1 ½ yrs baby. I have a problem in my marital relation. Our marriage is love marriage, my parents were not agreeing for that marriage. We know each other from last 12/14 yrs ago. And after my graduation completed I had forced my husband for getting marriage he is not agree on that time but for me he is ready for this. However, he is not doing any thing before marriage (leaving the job after every 06 months) he doing laziness in all job. After marriage, I am doing job till the date. However, he never changed his behaviour. 2-3 months after my marriage I got new job. There was very friendly atmosphere but he never like that. I became pregnant after one year he also never liked that. He is doubting a me and due to this I have lot of problems started in my married life, my baby is now 1 ½ yrs old but I am leaving in my mothers house I want to change his mind I want to make my family, please tell me any suggestions about my relations.

From very short description of your husband’s attitude, I feel that he might be having some personality problem or schizophrenic illness. However, I require detail information of his nature, behaviour and thoughts to come to conclusion. To change his mind, I think you should take psychiatrist’s help. He will help you to diagnose his problem as I suspect.

Sir, I’m 19 yrs old. The problem is, I met with an accident few months ago and suffered minor pelvis fracture. In MRI scan report, it is identified that I have a cyst in my left ovary; will that cause any hindrance for my pregnancy after marriage? I’m very confused and worried about this. Please do reply me.

Sometimes cysts cause difficulties in conception of fetus. It depends upon type of the cyst. Kindly consult Gynecologist nearby for finer details about your problem.

Sir, my problem is how will I have my husband back?

You need to tell me in what context are you asking to bring your husband back, emotionally, physically or sexually. I will be able to help you better if you send me a few more details.

From whatever little description of your boy friend you made in your mail, I guess he is a cheat. You did the right thing. I understand you still love him but he never deserved your love. Accept this truth and go ahead in your life. Try to come out of this bad phase of your life as quick as possible.