Sir plz help me in this situation. I’m a married woman with 2 kids. My husband is a business man and he doesn’t have interest in other activities. We live in the same house but we don’t share anything not even bed these days. He doesn’t come to me. Reason doesn’t know, may be stress or workload. I was feeling neglected so to be busy I started chatting. I met a person who became my best friend. He wanted to meet me so we met after 1 year. After this meeting he told me he loves me. He knew I was married and had kids but he says age doesn’t matter in love. I’m about 12 yrs older to him. But I look young coz of my body built. My husband was neglecting me and I had this person to share what I felt so we became very close. He tells me he loves me deeply and I also enjoy his company. We chat 4 long hours. I also like him a lot. Few days back my husband slapped me coz I was helping my mother and took her for her work. My father is bed ridden so my mummy needs help from me. I cried that day a lot. Then decided there was nothing left in our relationship. I decided to say I love to this fellow who met me on chat. Now we use cam also. Everyday he sees me and says I love u. I have developed a special bond with him. I don’t want to leave him as he is my big moral support. He told me to be busy so I joined gym and look more beautiful but my husband doesn’t notice me at all. I want love in my life. Sir plz advice me being close to this guy, am I doing something wrong? If he goes out of my life there would be no reason that will make me happy. I’m educated women and independent. People appreciate me wherever I go 4 my good nature but my husband always find a fault in me. I’m single person who has brought up his children without his help. I do all for my family but only got scolding from him. On the other hand this fellow appreciates me a lot so I get confidence. plz advice dear sir what should I do? Continue this relationship or put an end to this? I need your guidance sir plz help me

You are longing for love and appreciation. Your friend is giving you what you need; naturally you will feel attached to him and on long run, will be emotionally dependent on him. If you want him to continue then avoid sexual relations with him. It has been seen that in such relations once sexual desire is fulfilled, most of the male will start loosing interest. Even in absence of sexual encounters, he may start running away from you but at least he will stay longer. Be prepared to accept that any time he may leave and enjoy the relations. However, when chance permits please clarify with him that there would be no sexual relations between two of us.

Sir, I have so many problems since last 2 years. 1) I am not able to concentrate 2) I am not able to take decisions (even small decision) 3) Useless and repetitive thoughts 4) I am not able to remember 5) Excessive anger for small mistakes 6) Showing low level and high level energies simultaneously 7) Doing the particular work repeatedly like checking chin and hairs 8) Postponed the work 9)Guilty feeling 10)Don’t like to face any risk 11)Not doing any job perfectly. Your advice is valuable for my life.

You seem to have Anxiety spectrum disorder (group of disorders where anxiety is a root cause). Consult Psychiatrist nearby.

Sir, my problem is how will I have my husband back?

You need to tell me in what context are you asking to bring your husband back, emotionally, physically or sexually. I will be able to help you better if you send me a few more details.

Dear Sir, I have seen one bride for marriage. She is 24 yr old, M Com, 5′ 2″ and from good family background. She is simple and homely Girl. Average in looks. I am an Engineer and 29 yr old. Good looking, 5’7″. I have one breakup. This girl is almost good but she is Slim/thin. Her breasts are not developed at all. She has selected me. She doesn’t have any objection with my earlier breakup. Now I have to tell my decision. I just have problem with her breast. My Elders tell me that her physical development will be done after marriage as in most cases Girl is physically developed after marriage. Is it true? In addition, I have one breakup. So due to this I have to make compromise on this point. What do you say? Should I move forward? Please give me reply soon. Thanks.

Girls do gain weight after marriage, but not all. Breast may or may not increase in size. Now a day, break up is not something for which you have to compromise. You should go ahead if you are comfortable with her current looks and qualities.

Respected Dr., Neither I interested in sex with my husband nor my husband is interested for sex with me. We feel so bored. We got married 3 yrs. ago. My husband is suffering from depression. I think I’m also going in Depression; My Husband is taking fludac 50mg, c-pram20mg.etc. And I don’t want to take medication, and don’t want go to psychiatrist. Is there any suggestion for me, without medications?

Depression is a mood disorder. Lack of pleasure in any activity is one of the important symptoms of Depression, which includes sexual activity. Medicines can also cause loss of sexual desire. Fludac, C-pram etc are known to produce disinterest in sexual activity. Mild Depression can be treated without drugs. I will require more details about your symptoms and detailed history to suggest drug free treatment, if it is possible in your case.

Sir, I have a friend who is in my relation. We talk every night and we share everything together. Now I am more possessive for her. If we don’t talk it makes me upset. I can’t understand what this is and I was never like this before.

You have developed emotional dependence on her.

Hi, I am 28 years old. I am married and have a very loving and understanding husband. He is my life. My problem is that before marriage I used to masturbate. Due to this I am become satisfied very soon. My husband is two years younger to me may this is the reason or may be that I am working so I have to manage both the things properly I get very tired and want sex just twice or once a wk. My husband is always ready for it. I know its a problem with me that I don’t enjoy sex that much and since is get over very soon it loosens my interest in between also. Secondly, I don’t like oral sex. I just hate to put something like that in my mouth though my husband enjoys it a lot so I do it for his pleasure. Pls tell me what I can do to increase my sexual desire as it may harm my lovely married life.

Low sexual desire may have many reasons. I need to know more about your rearing, early sexual experiences and fantasies etc.
Many women do not like oral sex. You can discuss your preferences with your husband because this may be one of the factors which might be putting you off.
To increase your desire you need to spend good romantic time with each other. Discuss your turn on and turn off with each other. Visual stimulation in form of photographs, movies or fantasizing can help you getting excited.

Going through your articles in Gujarat Samachar it is experience that obsession is natural to lover. But how to be free from that? It has now affected my physical health.

I need more details about your relationship to answer your question.

During sex, my wife shares her premarital sex experiences when she is aroused. During sex, I also enjoy those things. However, after sex those things hurt me a lot.

Erotic talks during sex are normal, in fact desirable to increase sexual pleasure. Talking about your own sexual experiences with someone else may give you pleasure during the act but later on it may be traumatic and damaging self-respect of both partners. You should decide to stop talking about your personal past experiences and may continue talking about non-personal erotic imagination or fantasies.   

I am a 28-year-old male, working as a freelance photographer. I am engaged to a nice girl, but one of my colleagues is madly in love with me. She never hesitates to show her fascination for me. How do I put her off? Why can’t she understand that I am not interested in her at all? How do I make my intention clear to her?

If a person does not understand your intentions, you have to make them understand. Talk to her about your engaged status. Clarify that you are not interested in any relations with her. This should stop her from taking interest in you, although it may take some time. If she does not withdraw her interest then possibly she’s having problem of emotional dependency, she may be developing erotomanic delusions (pathological love) towards you.
Bottom line for you is, after clarifying your stand, do not pay attention to her, do not try to convince her and do not agree for friendship, which may cause emotional issues in future…… DETAILED ANSWER MAILED TO THE READER