When I was in +2, I made physical relationship with my boyfriend. Then he went to U.S.A and then I found that there is some other girl in his life, after this I left him. Then within 1 month I made other boyfriend, he knew everything about my past. Then he made relations with me sexually, but today my first boyfriend came in my life again and I have no courage to tell him about any thing, and there is fear in me that will he find that I had sex with other guy during his absence? Please answer me.

Stop worrying. He cannot find the fact until you or your boy friend tells him about your sexual relations.

Sir, I have a friend who is very close to my heart and we share a wonderful bonding. We were in class 10th when our friendship started. We share almost every thing in our life. Be it family problem or whatever. We are best of friends and from my part to which my friend always agrees. I have done things for him be it going completely out of the way. We used to plan our birthday bashes together a week before. This was till 12th. After that we got admitted in different colleges, both of us in Delhi and still in good touch. The problem started from November 2007. He has a girlfriend since then. She too is a very good friend of mine and we share a healthy friendship, the three of us. But it is like that she is now much closer to him and this disturbs me a lot. This might sound kiddish but he even forgot my birthday last year. But it hurts. I have never complained about me being helping him all the time. Actually I have never needed his help like he did, I still don’t complain. But again being kiddish, he doesn’t even invite me on his birthdays and things now mostly revolve around her. I have talked to him about this but to this he says that I feel so because I don’t have a girlfriend and the day I will have one I will behave in the same manner. But I feel that a friend has a separate place which a girlfriend can never take and vice a versa. In fact it’s not that his girl provokes him to do so. What hurts the most is that I have been with him since 4 years and she hasn’t even spent 2 years like I have. Most importantly I am sexually straight.

At certain phase of life, girl friend always scores higher. Your friend is true in that sense but forgetting your birth day or not inviting you on his birth day has nothing to do with that. I think this is the time you should take a back seat and stop expecting like past. There will be a time your relations will blossom again.

Dear Sir, I am getting irritated by Telephone/Mobile’s ring. Whenever any phone/mobile is ringing (My or any other’s phone/mobile), I am getting irritated and angry. My work is like that in office, whole day I am getting so many calls and I am getting irritated. Sometime I want to through out phone/mobile. Though after picking up phone, I don’t get irritate or angry. What could be the problem? What is a solution?

It is difficult to judge reasons for such short description. I need to know more about your age, work area, work timings etc. Most common cause is stress. It is more common with people in public dealing. Keep your phone on vibrating mode. Try keeping your mobile switch off during non-working hours. You may find it difficult but gradually callers will learn not to call you on cell during non-working time. Do some relaxation exercises.

Hello Sir, Please help me for the following case. My father has been consuming alcohal for last 30 years. He makes issues about small small things for example:- A bottle cap left opened. Keys not found at the right place. mom preparing something accidently which he doesnt like. He has often beaten her up for these things. Also he cant tolerate the mere presence of maternal relatives. Recently they came to my house as there was some death in the family. He could not tolerate that and found out some excuse to abuse my mausi and then started beating my mother She is 52 now and I am really afraid as he might beat her badly some day…. Some details about my father. He is unemployed, left his job 20 years ago and started some businesses but because of his nature, left everything. Could you please suggest what we shall do?

Your father has problem of Alcoholism.His behavioural problems like spouse beating,abusing relatives etc. may be related to his alcoholism.He may have underlying personality disorder. You should take him to psychiatrist for Deaddiction and Rehabilitation. 

i want to share my relationship problem which i am going thru pls help me to take a right decision. I am a 27 yr old man, 3 yrs back i use to date my Girl she was 21yrs that time. we stay in same city, i became pretty close to her emotionally and somewhat physically but no sexual relation, we liked each other and decided to get married in future, i was introduced to her family as a good friend as we thought when the right time comes we will let our parents know about it. but after a year into relationship she ditched me because she found someone who she felt was much better and loves her more than me. she found him as a chat friend and it was a long distance relationship as that boy was from another city. his age that time was also 21yrs. when he came down to meet her, she introduced him to her family. Now she is still in to this relationship till date. after she ditched me it was very hard to get over her thoughts from my mind as i had planned my future with her, but i tried to move on with my life and tried to isolate myself from any contact with her. but i use to think about her a lot and missed her a lot. Recently 8 months back again i came in contact with her and we started communicating thru phone calls. she started calling me 2-3 times a week. then i came to know her relation of 3 yrs with that boy who is from another city is not going good. she keeps crying at nights because he is not treating her good like ignoring her and talking rudely. she started sharing her relationship problems to me. i use to listen to her as i didnt wanted to hurt her and wanted to support her when she was feeling so much down in life. i became a good friend of her in this 8 months. everyday listening to her crying and her frustration i suggested her to leave that boy and do arrange marraige according to her parents choice. then she told me she doesnot want to marry any one because she got very close to that boy physically and she even had done abortion. which nobody knows in her family or her friends but she told me one night about this. she told me she wants to comeout of this relation but she cannot because evrybody in her family will question her why she again ditched him. but this time its the boys fault. he used her. problem is i still feel i love her a lot and i am not able to see her go thru all this problems. should i ask her to consider marrying me? so that i can give her all happiness in life. i am unable to decide anything. my heart says to tell her my feelings and my mind says no i should not get into all this and make things more complicated. and i am also not able to digest the fact about her abortion. this has disturb me a lot please help me decide what should be my next step? should i back out of all this or get in to it to help the girl i love.

I understand that you loved her truly but at present, I think; it’s not your love but mercy on her situation is taking over. You should remember that she has dumped you once without considering your feelings and then after left you alone to fight your emotional set back. You are not able to digest the fact that she got pregnant and aborted; this can also cause emotional distress in long run. So it is wise step to consider back out of all this. You may do it gradually but surely. otherwise, you will be trapped in emotional problem, which can bother you through out your life. I might sound radical but I always believe that some decision require true emotional insight.

Hi, I want a solution for my problem at the earliest. I am in love with a guy and he loves me more than I do. V were very very happy at the beginning may be for about 5 months. I am very possessive that I want him to talk with me or message me always. He also was like so mad on me. But as time passed now nearly one n half years. He says we must lead a practical life n I must adjust. I felt he is avoiding for some reason. I kept fighting with him (till now) but even after that, he leaves so cool. This made me feel he doesn’t bother about me. Actually, he loved me for 4 years n then only proposed him during those 4 years I don’t even know him nor have spoken with him. when he behaves like not bothering me I threaten him. Shout at him to mind about me. This makes him hate me. I am not able to control that… I talk so much in anger. Very short tempered I become when I feel he doesn’t love me. I have hurt him by so many means by my words. V broke up. I swear him I’ll never talk. Then again, I start begging him back. This has happened a number of times. At times, he fights, he comes back. I am myself confused and make him confused. I even cannot realize for what I love him. He is not happy I am also not happy. What should I do now? I am an Libran n he the Geminian…he s an extremist in everything… I am out of my senses to decide.. Help me so that at least I don spoil the life of one who loves me…

  If I have to answer in one word, my answer would be “Grow up”.  You should behave in mature way. Try to over come your insecurities and stop judging his love in his every action. You cannot sit on his head and make him to love you. Love means freedom. Give him breathing space. Just be relax and make him comfortable in the relationship. Rest of things will come naturally.

Respected Sir, I am a 24 year old female in relation with a man of 29 since past 8 years and all these 8 years I had been trusting him more than myself.He pretended as if he is not interested in girls except me and that made me love him more than anybody I was even ignoring my parents and career for him .He is very possessive, doesn’t let me wear short cloths or speak to any guy and as far as I know he too doesn’t interact with girls or have any friend in girl. But recently I have discovered that he used to watch porn sites live cam girls and fashion TV through his friends and all. I am totally broken down I tried ending up my life. I can’t sleep eat or do anything. He says that he is sorry. When I asked him why did he lie that he is not interested in girls for that he says that in real life there is no girl in his life except me. What he saw was on the screen and there is difference watching on screen and real life. But what am I wondering is that can a person who is truly committed and loves truly do this? Can a true lover be attracted to see other nude females on screen? I feel ditched and feels that he doesn’t love me .I have lost all the feeling. I just keep crying that how could he do that to me as we loved each other very much. He used to say that if I won’t marry him he will not marry any other girl but I feel it was all a lie because when he can be so desperate to see other nude females in spite of having sex with me over the phone regularly when I am away, such a person can’t love truly. It’s me who still feels that I won’t be able to go in another man’s arms. Sir I am really depressed. The moment I see any girl whether on TV or real life I feel like killing that girl I feel my boyfriend would be interested to see that girl’s genitals. Earlier when I used to masturbate I used to fantasize him and me. Now I am not able to connect my boyfriend with me in fantasy. I mean I cannot even fantasize any other men with me. The strange part is that I fantasize my boyfriend with other females and masturbate. I mean I think I am getting mad. Sir I feel that when he craves to see other females nude he must be fantasizing them with himself then how can such a man love me? In real life too he would then easily slip for any women because I never feel like seeing other nude men neither I had ever been able to fantasize other men except him. I loved him madly. We had planned to marry this year we had dreamt the whole life ,kids together ,and suddenly the whole world of mine turned upside down .How could he do this to me? Doesn’t he love me? Or is this act of watching ftv and other nude females on sites normal? Can a true lover do this? Sir kindly help I am getting mad. Can I get his polygraph test done? Please suggest good psychiatrist in Kolkata and centre where I can get his polygraph test done as I don’t trust him any more. Neither can I live without him.

From your description what I guess is, he might be having voyeurism. It is one kind of sexual deviation, in which person gets sexual pleasure by viewing woman’s sexual parts, erotic pictures, movies etc. Almost all males are voyeur to some extent but some of them are addicted to it. He is amongst the one who might be addicted. These addicted males keep on watching, collecting and storing pornographic materials in different forms. Many women are very sensitive about men’s habit of looking at pornographic materials and feel neglected. Stop becoming hyper on this but you should leave this topic with a note that you do not like his habit. You have to understand that this is like other habits (Smoking, Alcohol etc.), more you nag more it worsens. Do not think that his habit is because of some inadequacies on your part.

Hello sir. I am 18 years old boy who is suffering from masturbation problem. The problem is that I can’t sleep without doing masturbation. In a day I almost do 3 times. Will you please give any solution to come out from this problem?

You have a problem of compulsive masturbation. You have to practice self-control. If you do not get sleep without masturbation then seek psychiatrist’s consultation.

Hello, Sir I am very much confused. I have recently lost my baby boy in nine months pregnancy. I am really very frustrated. I got married 1 and half year back. Before my marriage I had relations with my boyfriend for last three years. Unfortunately I conceived two times during that time and undergone abortions. I have not shared this with anyone. I feel that whatever happened to me now its all because of past. Do I need to tell this to my husband? I love my husband very much. I am very much frustrated. I want to forget everything what happened with me in past and start new life with my husband. Please help me out to forget past.

If you want to forget your past then do not tell this to your husband. Accept your past rather than regret. Time will do rest of the trick and you have to move on in the life.

I have separated from my husband recently. My daughter, who is four and half years old, suddenly has to cope with many changes. I have shifted to my parents’ house. Here, she has to adjust with her grandparents and a new locality where she has no friends. Tell me as to what should be my attitude towards her? How can I inculcate good values in her in the little time we have without her feeling neglected and also without spoiling or pampering her?

Since you have not mentioned about the reason of separation from your husband and also about the attachment of the child with the father, it becomes little difficult to talk. However, since she is at a malleable age, it should not be very difficult for her to adjust to this new environment until and unless she is extremely hurt or affected by the separation. There will be teething problems that will have triumph over time. You will have to be very supportive but firm with her so that she does not take the sympathetic advantage of the situation. Every child knows basic good values and they are not taught they are learnt on their own so one just has to be a good example to them.