Hello Sir, I have a Christian boyfriend and am a Hindu. He was my phone friend 3 years back. And after a week of knowing each other, he proposed me. I said you are from different religion and my parents might not agree for marriage and we might not adjust due to differences in culture and values. But he forced me a lot; to say yes. Finally I felt let go and see. Somehow I was not very comfortable in the beginning as I had not seen him once also. I insisted him on meeting once. But he refused. We were in touch only on calls almost one year and I also started liking him a lot after that. I could not lived a day without talking to him over phone. After a year, we meet once. That time he did not like me and stop talking to me suddenly without giving a reason. By then I was in deep love with him and had trusted him. I had thought that whatever be the circumstances, I will adjust and be happy with him. I wanted to know the reason why he ditched me. But he changed phone number. I could not take this rejection by him and went into depression. I developed respiratory problems due to over stress. Somehow I controlled my self after 6 months and started living life with a fresh mind. When I was out of the crazy love, he came back and forced me to love him again. He was very rude and didn’t give me reason for why he didn’t talk to me all these months. He ordered me saying “so what, I am sorry for that. So now what’s your problem? I didn’t like his behavior. After that day he called me daily and hurt my feelings and tried to bring the dead love in me. Till today, we both have been talking to each other but only fights. We did meet only once or twice in a year for the rest 3 years. These days I’m observing that we both are not matching on values and cultures. At times it leads to abusive talks by both and end up in arguments. It is going the worst way I feel. I am not able to trust him this time. I fear he might ditch me again. So I didn’t want to fall in love. But when I remember my past, sometimes I feel for that. So I’m not able to decide I should go for him or not. I foresee the risk. But I feel he loves me this time and that’s why he came back. He is asking me for marriage plans. This shows he is serious. But the beginning was so bad that we actually decided lets be partners and then learnt about each other. But till today lot of arguments happen. Problems are listed below. Please refer. Please help. Some of the problems are: 1. He is telling me to convert which I don’t like. I don’t want my kids also to be converted to other religion in future. I want to bring up my kids in my culture and practices. 2. I insisted him to stop drinking alcohol and smoking. I gave him 3.5 years but don’t see any signs of relief. Although I see the reduction in the habits, he broke his promise and has no guilt with the habits. He says – “what big deal. That’s all common these days”. He never understands that it hurts me and I don’t want him to be unhealthy. It’s for his well being. 3. Communication – If I ask a question, he doesn’t reply with clarity and leads to arguments. 4. I want a post graduate and well educated mind. I insisted him to go for distance learning way. But he is not interested in learning anything new. 5. If I tell him to improve on an aspect, he rejects and not interested in learning and better way of life.

All that I feel is he doesn’t have your value and respect for you. It is difficult to lead happy married life with this type of partner. You should not go further.

Sir, I’m 19yrs old. For the past 3yrs I’m in love with a guy who is 20yrs old. He too loves me madly. We have planned to get married after 4 yrs. We get easily tempted that whenever we get chance we have sex (at least 4 times in a week).Due to afraid of getting conceived both made up our mind not 2 perform insertion of penis alone. I’m damn sure he won’t cheat me. Is it correct what we do at this age? And I’m confused whether will it loosen my breast? Will we lose interest in sex after marriage? Please do reply me sir.

Four times a week and four years to go, this will definitely reduce your physical interest in each other. Breast may get loose after extensive fondling but more so after pregnancy and lactation.

I love a guy who is my relative but the relation is such that we can marry easily. However, the problem is our families. We are engaged from last 5 years. Before one n half year, our families had n argument and they split their business but now my papa and his papa talks with each other nicely. Another problem is I am a working professional i.e. I am s/w engineer and he is just a BCom graduate. With this, we two don’t have any problem but I think my family will have. His family is aware of our relations; they are not accepting our relation. His mother says that if he will marry me then he will not have any place in their home but he is quite sure that they will accept afterwards. My family is not aware of all this We are planning to tell them in this month because I don’t want to marry him without my parents permission they matter me a lot. His sister-in-law is suggesting us to marry in the court and then tell my parents but I don’t think this is a good way. What should I do can anybody help me

I agree with you. You should talk to your parents. You should assure them that you are going to take final decision with their permission only and will wait for that. This will indirectly pressurize them to take decision early.

I am a 23 year old beautiful girl, recently engaged to a 30 year old looking man. I am unable to get any attachment with this guy. My marriage is due in October. What should I do?

If you feel that you can not connect with him then you have to rethink about your decision to get married to him. It is a question of whole life.

I am 24 year old, well educated from top college of India working in Wipro right now, joined it 6 month ago. 1) I did my 10th from boarding school then I came back to Patna (native home).My brother suffering from Bipolar Mood disorder (mania).My father is also Doctor. His treatment is still going on from last 8 year. When I was doing +2 he was extremely violent to any extent like a wild animal. He hit me like animal once he started, and spend all my father money. We became financial so insecure also. I Prepare for various competition exam simultaneously and got good engineering college. I spend 3 yr with him. My brother also hate me because I am most ugly person of my family even my own brother-sister are very beautiful. Very contrast to me as everybody said. 2) I am not at all beautiful because of this am suffering from inferiority complex a lot. Basically of dark complexion. I always avoid meeting people. I hate my look .I don’t want to look myself in mirror. 3) Because of him we started to cut off from whole world. I have no any desire, gradually I became very introvert. (During my childhood days I was very naughty and talkative). 4) Now I fell in love with one person (now he is in Delhi and I m in Bangalore)…He always insisted me for sex…he talk to me only about physical. But I avoid him ….I supported him always emotionally… he also care about me.But I felt that he utilise me as for emotionally. Now I feel I cannot leave without him. (He always tell me on phone to put-off my cloth…Phone sex) I now feel very drag about him 5) I spend my whole life in hostel and never went home during holiday to home. 6) My boyfriend is very intelligent also in Wipro but he is sick about sex. 7) I have one very bad habit of masturbation which makes me very depressive. (Help me to get out from it) 8) I also suffering from grate mood fluctuation. Very happy to very depression. 9) I was student of pharmaceutical science and then join software due financial problem .even I scored in GATE -97.47 (PG entrance exam). I dropped my higher education. I face lot problem in office also which make me very frustrated. 10) I also became more frustrated because of other person behaviour towards me. My mind always talks to myself and talk make me very panic. AM I ALSO SUFFERING FROM MOOD DISORDER? NOW I WANT TO DO SOMETHING IN LIFE. I want to attain great height in life in spiritual world as well as in professional world. I am very emotional person. HELP ME.

Unfortunately, it seems that you are also suffering from Bipolar Mood Disorder, may be not as severe as your brother. This illness runs in family. You should seek psychiatric consultation to get further advice. As far as your boy friend is concern, you are emotionally dependent on him but he seems to be interested only in sex, leave him. It is better to suffer from break up than being used up.

I at this age of 65, still have desires for sex though I cannot do much…So I am becoming addict of watching porno films that makes me shy and also some physical stress/weakness. I want to get rid of this habit but things are so easily available on internet now that even though I try to avoid I get attracted again and again…what’s the solution please?

Self control.
If no other family members require net connection and if you do not have any important things to do on net then remove net connection.

I have been into a relationship with a girl for past 6 years. The girl’s family did not have a good background (socially), so I always wanted her not to idealize her family. I gave her full support in everything. Apart from that I put on a couple of restrictions on her, restrictions which were very easy not something that would change her life completely. But after 5 years of relationship I came to know she had been hiding about her past relationship with me and she also hide some other facts. She went to meet her ex behind my back without telling me. Anyway when I came to know about it I simply forgave her for lying to me. As we have been living in different continents since past 2 years we could not meet often. After 4 years she said that she was fed up of those restrictions, so I agreed with her and let her do whatever she wanted. I suspected her many times because she always gave me the vibe of it. Anyway after 6 years she says she does not want to be in this relationship anymore and she does not love me now. And the reason is that she had a traumatic situation all these 6 years, and she wants mental peace. I let her go because I thought that for 6 years the mistakes I have made small or big I have admitted them. The only thing I did for 6 years was love her, and I believed that if she has ever loved me she will come back. I never forced her to come back. But after her my life is all disturbed. I have a mental setback. I’m at the peak of my career but I have lost confidence in everything. I just waste my time thinking about everything and cannot concentrate on my work. All these years I was loyal and honest, but in return I just got ignorance. What should I do? How should I make my peace with myself? Too many questions wander my mind every second. How can I get mental satisfaction? Please help me.

She blamed you for break up and you have guilt about it. In fact she might have lost the interest because of some other relationship and just to call off, she has put blame on you. Do not get victimized in blame game and overcome the guilt. Once you will find yourself free from the guilt and will accept the breakup, things should be alright with you with passage of the time.

Hello sir, I a unmarried boy of 25. I have regular habit of masturbation. Some time before I get an affair with a widow of 28. At the time of intercourse I feel the problem of premature ejaculation in me. After three months I leaved her because of my posting since 2 year. Now I am getting married within one month and I am very afraid with my premature ejaculation. Please help me in this matter I really very thankful to you.

Habitual masturbation and long interval between intercourses some time leads to premature ejaculation. Kindly put word Masturbation as well as Kegel’s exercise in search box (Top right) and you will find my answers on this issue. Try to do Kegel’s exercise and you may take medicines called fluoxetine, by prescription.

I am a 28 yrs old male. I used to masturbate from very small age, around 14 yrs. Now a day I am not getting proper erection during masturbation. I have started feeling that am not fit for sexual intercourse. My family is pressurizing me for marriage. What should I do?

Masturbation never leads to loss of erection. Sometimes you may not get erection during masturbation. This may be because of your anxiety. Do not worry and get married.

Respected sir, I am 26yrs old male. I am student pursuing MCA from IGNOU. In 2002 I had gone to a doctor (age 54 yrs) for medical consultation nearby from my home. That time he was not in his home and I met with his wife (age 35 yrs). In first meeting we both attracted to each other. After few days I built good relationship with doctor and started to visit his home daily. And I built sexual relationship with his wife. This is the second wife of that doctor. His previous wife has two sons. This wife is the sister of his previous wife. This wife has no children and not sexually satisfied with her husband (doctor). From 6yrs I am performing sexual intercourse with her. This is affecting my study. I deeply love her. I’ve proposed her to give up her husband but she refused. She tell that she love me very much. Doctor will soon set up his clinic in kolkota 300 km from my home and he will give up this place. I don’t want to miss her. What should I do now? How can I forget her completely?

She established relationship for her needs (sexual dissatisfaction from relatively old husband). You entered for a fun. In the process you developed an emotional attachment. She doesn’t seem to be that emotional for you but at the same time doesn’t want to loose you. Now ride is about to get over as they are shifting. Accept this bitter fact. Forgetting is an automatic process. Once you stop meeting her and develop other meaningful relationship, you will forget her.