I am a graduate person. I am thinking about pursuing higher education in MBA But the problem is that I am more often confused about my ownself asking questions to myself am I the right guy to effectively guage myself to the level I see. I have been like a bookworm in my life. I neither have skills about certain basic things in general like riding a bike or communicate effectively. In recent days I have had certain thoughts of useless guy and some thoughts of suicide. please help me out

You should not take suicidal thoughts lightly. You should seek immediate professional help. Moreover, you can take aptitude test to find out your potential in particular field.

I have returned to India with my daughter after living in Dubai for a long time. We are a matriarchal joint family. My sister’s family and my parents all live together. I find my parents prefer my sister and her kids to me and my daughter. My sister also ignores me and my daughter most of the time. Since I cannot move out on my own immediately, how can I deal with the situation?

As you have said that you cannot move immediately, only option you have is to accept their attitude. You cannot teach any one to respect you. Once you accept their attitude and stop longing for change in that, you will be comfortable for time being.

Respected Sir, I am 24 yrs old girl. I was in love with one guy. We were both from same cast. We were in love for 3 yrs and after that with both parents’s permission we got engaged. I am B Com and He is B.E. My left eye is having some problem (it is not straight). This is natural physical problem since my birth. We were in love for 3 yrs but we met face to face only once during this 3 yrs. we met through internet chatting and after that we were talking over phone. He was not aware of my physical defect. Before engagement his family member alerted him about my left eye’s defect but he told them that he loves me and he doesn’t mind with my defect. But after that I don’t know why I was not ready to accept our relation. I was feeling that he was having some problem with my defect. Though he told so many times to me that he doesn’t mind my defect. Gradually I lose my interest in our relation and I decided to break our relation and I did it. This happened 8 months ago. Now I realize my mistake and I can’t live without him. Now I again want to be with him but He is not ready to accept me because at the time of breaking relation I used bad words for him though He was absolutely innocent. Now tell me what should I? How can I please him again as before?

It is very hurting for some one who accepts your physical defects and you use bad words for him. What made you think that he has some problem with your defect when he was denying that! Another mistake you did is, on realizing your first mistake you should have apologized without showing your interest to reunite. It sounds very selfish. Do not try to bring him back to old relation. Just be in touch and try to make him feel that you have really felt sorry from bottom of your heart. Not only words, your attitude should also reflect the same. This may revive your old closeness and then you can think of bringing back to old relation. Males never keep score for a long time so if you will be sincere in your efforts, your chances of success are high.

I’m single. Before one year my penis was alright. But now it is becoming short. I masturbate without any tightness in penis. I am so worried. plz…..help me. My girlfriend is also worry about my problem. We are worried about our future married life. plz…tell me about this problem and its solution. Any medicines, oil and anything else……….

Penis will never get shortened, of course during cold in winter it may look shrunken but regains its size during erection. You are too anxious about this and hence not getting full erection. Just relax; everything seems to be okay with you. Stop thinking and discussing about it with your girl friend. There is no substance on this earth, which can increase the size of your penis. All available products are making money for their manufacturers because of male’s anxiety and worry about the size of penis!

Hello Sir. I am really thankful about the advice that you had given me last time. Sir I have accepted the fact that the girl doesn’t feel for me anything and she will ever come back to my life. But sir, after that I have lost my mental peace. I am not able to concentrate on anything; I am having problems in sleeping and adjusting with this fact. I really love her sir with all my heart and somehow I can’t understand what she really wants from me. Whenever I try going away she comes and directly stands in front of me, by alighting a faint hope in me saying that things may still workout and after that I am again hurt. I have even told her this and she tells me that she said that she sometimes have mood swings due to which she talks to me like this. Well she says that she is sorry for whatever she has said in the past and is really good and nice to me then. I don’t know she is lying or she is saying the truth but the fact is whenever I talk to her once I feel like talking again and again with her, and then I suddenly realize that there is nothing going to happen so I again get depressed. It is taking a toll on my health and I am mentally very upset and confused. After coming in touch with her I have stared feeling like a failure. I know sir that I am acting paranoid. But sir things aren’t in my hands. Sir please help me I am in big mess.

Still you have not accepted fully that she is not for you. Why you should pay the price for her mood swings? Break all communications saying her that it’s all over and you cannot go on like this.

I am 22/male and a 15 year old girl thinks me as her brother and best friend. She used to be my neighbour for almost 12 years but recently (6 months ago) we became close to each other during her summer holidays when she was staying at my home for 15 days .Now I stay in a different city but was at home at that time. Earlier she used to write letters and send text messages a lot. But now she seems uninterested. She says she is busy in her studies. I tried to be a good friend and helped her in her studies and would respond to every thing she asked etc…Just being too nice. May be that’s the mistake…being too nice or push over. Now I feel bad. Overall her behaviour is ok but when I try to help her or ask her about studies she reacts as if she doesn’t like me always helping and caring about her. Everything has changed just within a in a period of 6 months. Was that my behaviour to be overly nice etc? A couple of occasions I also told her that you have forgotten me etc. I don’t want to loose her. Please help.

You don’t want to lose her but probably she doesn’t want to go ahead with you! Leave her free, if she comes back then she is yours otherwise she never meant to be.

Hello sir. I am married for last 6 years .I have a son. I am happy with my married life. The problem is that my husband comes home by 11 at night and by that time I feel like going to sleep and wait for him to come near me, but he satisfies himself by watching adult movies. We also fight because of this. We don’t have any physical relation since months. And he is not able to quit smoking, which I hate the most. Please guide me to solve this problem.

Mutual respect in your relationship seems to be missing. He doesn’t care about your needs as he satisfies himself (and not bothered about your’s) and does not free himself from vices which you hate. When you do not have healthy sexual life, how come you feel that you are happy in your married life? Is it that that you do not want to accept the problem or you also taking things for granted like your husband?! I think this type of attitude have deep routes, which need to be explored and addressed.  You should go for couple counseling.

I masturbate a lot. I don’t want this. I tried a lot. Please help me and show me a way to leave this.

Masturbation is a normal physiological act. Almost all male does it or had done in the past. Accept it; as a natural desire and remove guilt about it. There is nothing wrong in the act but still if you want to stop doing it then self control is the only way. Getting married and indulging into regular sexual act thereafter can also stop it.

Dear Sir, I am going thru a phase wherein after working with an person (my Boss) for almost 15 yrs. I have been abused bu the words like Randi – u must be sleeping with man’s for money has shattered me like anything. i could have slpped and left the office the ame day but mainly looking at the my socio-economic reponsibility being a single women i could not do that and he also knows this that it would be not o easy to leave job immediately. Its not so tht I can’t get the job but being a relation like family i never thought of this and this was the one reason I joined him yrs. back but from past yrs relizing that he is trying to pull me down and insult be even performing, if i try to speak to him he uses abusive lanuage and try to harass me. there were small incident earlier but this dialogue has shattered me like anything and thinking of the same all the time tears comes to my eyes whole day and feeling crushed and helpless as i hv to see him every day and i cn’t do anything. i could hve created scene in the office but looking at the past relationhip with hime and his family I just avoided and went out of the office and now even coming to office also. Pls. advice what to do as this is bugging me like anything and i being a heart patient this worries me a lot. pls. advice shall I change the job, i am 47 now as seeing him i feel irritated, helpless and insulted. Pls. advice and help

Dear M
I understand how you must be feeling. Believe me rejection is one of the worst feeling to have and that after 15 yrs. of togetherness.
Bitter fact is, he is not interested in you any more. Try to accept the fact. Reasons can be many. To comment upon reasons I need more details. If you find a new job of same position or little lower position (if you can afford and accept), change your job. Probably he might be wanting the same and that could be one of the reason of his misbehavior. Your inability to do so may bring you more suffering.

I am 24 years old girl. I have no previous love affairs. Naturally I have many dreams around my marriage. Recently my marriage has been fixed. I saw him once when they came to my home to saw me. Now my problem is that he doesn’t want to talk with me through phones. Many times he disconnects my phone calls. Sometime he is rude to me. He is not interested to go restaurant with me.. What should I do? Please advise me.

If he does not understand your feelings and hurting your self respect then break your engagement. This decision may give you some bad memories but will spare you from  agony of disturbed married  life.