Hello sir, I’m in a big trouble. Actually I’m in a relationship with a guy and we both love each other a lot. We also decided to marry but the day I talked with him about my past that I was in a relationship with some other guy, he is totally lost. He is not eating, not caring what is going on and when he is with me he seems he is absent. I asked him to leave me or marry someone else but he responded that he would die without me . I don’t know what should I do, please suggest me.

It seems that he is not able to digest your past. Give him some time, so that possibly he can digest the same and get over it. Try to make him understand that if he has to accept you, he has to accept your past as well. Do not try to justify your past as he needs to accept it as a fact. Just in case; he is not able to get over this then you shouldn’t impose yourself on him.

Respected Sir, Thank you very much for all the advices you gave me last time. Just to reiterate my past details – My dad’s addiction to alcohol and abusive character which lead to domestic violence against my mom. I had Strange and lifeless childhood. Dad’s life with his second wife is also not fine. He never respects anyone and believes in breaking off relations. No one can stay longer with him. Now, I am 28 years old female, looking forward to settle down in life. I want to get married and start a new life altogether. My father didn’t show any interest in my marriage and really not make any effort. Finally, recently my marriage got fixed. But broke off because I made a discussion with my, would be husband that – “I might be required to support my father’s family financially because I have some commitments. This will be for some time till I get rid of the loans, as my dad will take care of them later.” The boy’s mom came to us saying this is not acceptable to us. I have been taking care of my family’s major financial burden till now. My brother is earning little. My sis is still unemployed. Other 3 siblings are studying. Now the problem is, no one is ready to make an effort to earn better. I have a home loan done for my dad, and many other small loans till now. I feel burdened as to how will I take care of all this. They are not ready to relieve me completely from this financial burden. Hence I discussed this with my hubby that I might be required to support my dad. But it seems like he and his family is also eyeing my income which I too didn’t like. I don’t want my husband to depend on me financially. The marriage got broken. Dad wants me to support the family even after marriage. I know it’s my prime duty and I will, but I feel burdened. He is not giving me the right picture as to how will I be relieved in future. I discussed to relieve me but no answer. He is very keen on making properties, but I refused to support him this time because I am already overburdened with many loans. We don’t have money to do a marriage but he says I will take care. If I give my income to my own family, I know that my relation with my husband and his family will be strained. For everything I will have to beg them. I don’t want that. And I will have to think about my future and expenses as well. On the other hand I don’t want to marry a guy who is eyeing my income. I am disillusioned. It feels sad that marriage broke just for money matter. Is it a big thing to say that I want to support my dad after marriage also? My dad forced me to speak about these financial aspects to the boy. At least while going forward, I want to refine and change my approach towards life. What should I do? Should I support my family after marriage or my husband? I feel like leaving everything and go away far from my family. Let them become independent in life without me. But I feel bad for my siblings as to how will they manage finances. On the other end, my marriage will be broken if I continue doing this. Other side is – no one will sustain with my dad’s attitude and behavior with the parties. Ruthless, demanding and he tries to put all burden on them till they take it. He tries to squeeze them till the max level. I am also thinking to search a boy for me on my own. But fear that for all the marriage ceremony, I will depend on my family members. Who will take care of all this? Will I get a well cultured person, if I start searching on my own all alone? What to do? Should I discuss these problems from the core to my future hubby? Will he support me? It Feel`s strange because he might reject me just because of my family history. Thanks and great day!

You cannot go on supporting your alcoholic father endlessly, at some point you have to put your foot down and let him realize that you will not be there always to shoulder his responsibilities. Rather than depending on your family, start searching for a boy on your own. Also just make your would be husband aware of your financial responsibilities and not about your family history in detail. Also make it very clear with your father that you will support him for initial 3-4 months after your marriage, after that he needs to manage on his own.

Sir, I and my wife love each other too much. But from 2 -3 months my wife becomes more angry, if I made a little bit mistake then she quarrels with me. She speaks too much negative thoughts. She got too much frustration to see a single task against her. She suffers a long headache and something flows in her mind. Then she wakes from this sleekness then feels very sorry. On one hand she finds me the most loveable person and other hand I’m worst man who gave her too much pain. Sir please help us I love my wife too much I want to recover her as soon as possible. Thanks a lot.

It seems that she is suffering from mood disorder. Consult psychiatrist nearby.

Hello doctor, I am mba student, 21 years old. I am a virgin. My classmate of same age has some serious problem with her family. she calls me to have sexual intercourse telling that she is very much depressed. I refused her, as I don’t want to have sexual relationship with her B4 my marriage (I am very keen on this). However, I think of her and masturbate. I don’t love her. She cries about her family and begs with me to have sex. Should I do it? This is bothering me very much. I have sexual desires. However, I am not interested to marry her. She also doesn’t love me and threatens to commit suicide if I don’t have sex with her. This is going on for almost a year. plz advice me

Serious family issues, Depression, intense desire to have sex and suicidal threats shows she has serious emotional problems. Her pressure on you may be a part of her dependence and deep down desire of being wanted. Sometimes depressed person may have increased desire to have a sex. You should not succumb to her pressure if you really do not wish to get into it. Another possibility is, she may develop physical attachment to you once you enter in to sexual relationship with her. I think you should stay away from her.

I m girl from Jain family and I love a boy who is my babhis cousin. I love him so much. Moreover, he also wants to marry me and make relation with me. So I want ask to u is that safe to make relation with him with precaution. I also Want to tell u that I m not sure he will marry me or not becoz he clearly say that if his family allow him then he marry me. Therefore, I’m in confusion what to do. What is right and what is wrong. My parents don’t like to make my bf as even my friends. What to do plz give me solution.

He is clear that he wants to enjoy and does not owe any commitment to you. If you are comfortable with this then you can think of going ahead. You have to take necessary precautions. If you ask my advice, I will ask you to stay away from such noncommittal relations as this may give you feeling of being used up in future.

I am 28 yrs old married women. My husband is 32 years old. I was not virgin when I got married to my husband. He complains that my vagina is loose and doesn’t get satisfaction.

Your virginity status may or may not be related to your vaginal laxity. You can tighten your vagina by doing Kegel’s exercise, daily and regularly. It is said that kegel exercises make the vagina tighter. It is an exercise of your pelvic muscles. A popular way to identify the pelvic muscles in men and women is to stop the flow of urine midstream. This is accomplished by contracting the pelvic floor muscles. Restarting the flow of urine is accomplished by releasing the pelvic floor muscles. Once identified this way, the pelvic floor muscles can be contracted and released independently of controlling urination. Kegels are most frequently performed in sets. Here are a few techniques:
Do 15 reps of quick pumps, pause for 30 seconds and repeat. Start at 15 and work your way up to 100 reps two times a day.
Contract the muscle slowly and hold for 5 seconds, release slowly. Work your way to at least 25 reps two times a day.
slowly contract 1/3 of the way, pause, then 2/3 of the way, pause, then all the way. Do 10 reps two times a day.
If you are overweight then try to reduce your weight. During intercourse keep you leg crossed.

Dear Sir, this question is for one of my friend. Sir I think my friend has a problem, he always used to look at the girls, and always talk about girl’s hips and breasts as how big and voluptuous they are, he seems very desperate, whenever he see’s a girl or a woman, he just starts looking at her and watches her until she moves out of the sight, and always talk about having sex with them, and about new styles to have sex with them, however, every guy used to look at the girls or woman, and used to talk like this, but in his case, it is too much!. Everyone says that he is such a fucking desperate, every time, you know, every time he used to talk about it whether in mockery or seriously, every time he has these thoughts in his mind, and a single girl can draw his attention even from any important work or conversation. Sir, is there any cure for him?

He might be obsessed with sex. You may take help of psychiatrist to find out the root of these tendencies.

I am 25, and graduate. Since some days I feel my family members are very much disturbed for me, they always think I am not happy. In these days I am doing nothing. I feel I am burden for them, I know that is not true, but my mind always think like that. I am looking very simple, dark complexion; I think they are worried for my marriage, how it will be done? I am also afraid, but I never said them. My bhabhi is very good looking, she is also very proud, I feel very guilty when I am going outside with her. My brother also changed, he always thinks I am wrong, and she is right. Many times I feel this is not my home. For these reasons I lost my mind. I always think negative and always want to die. I don’t want to live, but I have to live. No one needs me…..PLSSSSSSSSS SUGGEST ME, WHAT I WILL DO…….. THANX

You should not feel guilty because of some one’s good look and your average look; it is not in your hand. Complexion and look is nature’s gift. However, you can improve them to some extent. Try to accept what you have and find out other means of improving your self esteem. Find out some meaningful way to keep yourself busy.

Sir,there was a boy who was friends with me since last 6 months,he was a security personnel and I m a doctor,he first proposed me on Facebook but I dint like him so rejected him, so he told me to be friends with him,but I developed some feelings for him as he proposed me thrice at least,still I refused as I was suspicious of him but recently I came to know he was already in a relation since 3 years and had breakup since 2 mnths now, I was friends with him since October , why did he play with me then, he even asked for financial help of 10k I gave it to him but didn’t get it back,I also came to know that this guy is flirting with other girls too,if he was in relation with that girl why did he flirt with me and with other girls,it seems he keeps on telling that he loves that girl whom he was in relation with for 3 years.Any ways all my feelings died for him since that day only wen I came to know about his character but I feel depressed thinking why he cheated on me, i want to forget him and move on plz advice.

It’s good that you have realised that you have been taken for a ride. At the same time,you should also realize that it’s not your fault but his flirty nature which is responsible for such a distrustful behaviour. It is unfortunate that you became his prey and you should not feel guilty for that. Remember the lesson learned, be mature and move on.

I’m 34 yr old married woman. My husband is a doctor. From reliable sources I’ve came to know that he’s involved with one lady. I’ve talked to him on this issue but he denies for any such relationship. What should I do?

Dear Mrs. Thomas,
When your hubby is denying about such relation then before doubting further please make sure that your information about your husband’s affair is true. If it’s true then you have two options; either discuss this matter with your husband, giving all evidences you have or try to get in touch with involved lady. Probably woman can understand another woman and you can wakeup her womanhood. You can think of involving your close friend into the matter (it’s very sensitive step and depends upon your interpersonal background). You may think of separation depending upon your familial, economical and social background as a last resort.