Recently I am facing problems regarding sustaining erection. I am getting erection but unable to sustain it. Hence, I am failing to have sex with my partner. This was not the problem before, and I am mentally down regarding this. This has given rise to problems in our relationship. I am in a habit of masturbating regularly, b4 I first slept with my new partner. Please help.

Your problem is known as Erectile Dysfunction. It has psychological and physical reasons behind it. With younger age, psychological reasons are more likely. If you are getting proper erection and able to maintain it during masturbation then it is more of psychological problem. It is very difficult to find out the underlying cause/causes unless I know the details of your sexual life. You are required to discuss your sex life in detail, past experiences and many other details. If you want to see Doctor personally then consult Psychiatrist. They deal with sex related problems.

Dear Sir, I am a 25 yrs age guy. I am in love with a girl of age 21.we had this relationship since last 6 months. We both met online. I have not seen her until one month of our relationship. We both felt love for each other without meeting each other as person. I got photo in profile. She hadn’t. But we loved each other by our natures which are very common to each other. We had other liking things as common. In one month, we talked over phone like 5/6 hours a day. Then we met in person. n liked each other a lot. In this relationship, she was always taking initiative. However, I responded well, as I felt the same for her. I am bit shy person. After wards, we talked over phone almost all-night. n msg each other endlessly. Our talks range from our families, friends, love and even physical intimacies. She was just so much caring used to know what is going on every minute of my life. This is my first relationship. First for her also. I never hide any secret like my disturbed career. as I was studying engineering and quit for my health issue, then joined in science graduation I am in 3rd year now. She is also studying final year engineering. She is a good student than me. But these things never came before us. She is very much conscious about her career and towards me also. We are committed to each other. She and I, we both are quite family person. Who love their family as well. She guided me lot in my career things. She came when I was so down. She liked me for my sense of maturity and sensibility. She is quite childish at times but very much affectionate. she never loose any chance of showing her affection and love to me. She is the person I always wanted. It is true for her, I think. Later when her exam and campus drive time started, she began to loose contact with me. But I didn’t mind and tried to support her mentally. But she usually doesn’t talk more about her problems because she thinks it will burden me. Now she didn’t got selected in any campus selection. Therefore, she is disturbed. And I am someone who can’t think of a job so soon. I want go for mba afterwards. I am not settled. Now her examinations are over. But suddenly she started being very cold from last 20 days. She is still caring. She is not expressing her love to me. Not wanted to know what is going on every time in my life. But I keep on expressing it as I feel for her. Now before 3/4 days she said she is engaged to somebody not formally though. One proposal came for her. n that family is interested. And she is just tongue tied to tell her parents about me. As I am not settled n not in good condition in mine career. Moreover, her family dint asked her because they take her granted. Last Sunday they had family get together. she also belongs to a higher caste than me which is not a matter for her or me but for her family it is. As status, my family is not less than she is. But as we both committed to our family as well. That is creating problem. Now for my side there is no problem and I can manage later. But she can’t afford to say about me as she also didn’t got a job and depending on them. And staying in home. As far as I know that guy family is not interested for marriage so soon. But they liked her so families started to get committed. Her situation is very bad as she can’t leave me nor She can fight with the family so soon. And I can’t do anything. But I can’t afford to loose her. She is the one I always wanted. And I can’t think of anybody else in my life. We Both r very negative thinkers. And get frightened so soon. We are still touch with each other, which is obvious. But I can find she is not that interested to talk to me. She is doing this like her duty. And her warmth is all missing. We met with each other four times during our relationship. W e both get physically intimate with each other but not gone physical. Now she also avoids meeting me. I know she is all down not doing anything properly always tensed and in tears. But not telling her feelings to me more. Of late just she said you please don’t disturb your career over me at least if you get anybody else for your life then at least you can make her happy. Yet also saying that her engagement can also break. I am just so confused about her behaviour. As I can’t meet her or see her as person. Only medium is the phone. Today is my birthday. And she called me in time n wished me coldly like wishing to a friend. And before one month she got a huge planning for this day. Now he even dint met me. We used to talk like 5/6 minutes a day. n mostly other topics which is not that important these days. I am very emotional person and she is as well. I am breaking day by day, as she is getting negative. n now she is getting more silent. When I call I mostly talk and she listens. and her talks are negative and most of the time I am feeling like she is hiding things. As she never use to. I sometimes feel like it will not hamper her if she looses me. But I will break into pieces. She is such a loving person. And I always crave for that. She made happen so much positive thing to happen my life. And also guided me in my family issues like a family person. Please help. i cant live without her and nobody can take her place in my life. and she knows it well.

First, you have to find out that why she is behaving in a negative way. There are few possibilities.  She might be under the pressure of her family. She herself might have lost the hope and accepted her fate. She might be depressed (suffering from Depression). You should ask her about this. You should show your willingness to meet her parents (you can discuss your future plan with them even though you do not have job at present) or suggest her to create mediator, whom she can trust.  If nothing works out, prepare yourself to accept the reality.

Hi Doctor, liked your site very much. I have a problem in my married life. I am married since 7yrs but from last 3-4 yrs we haven’t slept together. I think that he doesn’t love me and also there is no conversation between us. Whenever he is at home we have a fight. I can’t leave him. I do have a 3yrs daughter.

I need more details about your relationship to answer your question.

Hello sir, I am in a great problem these days. I love a guy from 2yrs who is not of my caste and we want to marry. Also his parents have agreed our relationship but my parents are not. I am trying to convince them from one yr. Also his parents came at my home n talked with my parents but my parents didn’t show any interest and they walked away just like that. Now his parents are pressuring us to get married early. Even I’m ready but I don’t have that much guts to tell my parents. Once mom asked me n I told her that his parents are planning for our marriage next month, she got angry a bit n after that nothing happened at home. Also I am bit tensed that if I marry against their involvement our society n relatives would speak ill. Other thing is that I am not able to show that much happiness for my own marriage because my parents are not getting involved. Pls dr pls help me. Even m not able to talk with my fiancé as he is getting burdened from all sides. Just help n pls tell me how I start a topic at home n tell them, I am getting scared to talk with my parents cos my dad is very short tempered so he wouldn’t listen to me and directly start fighting n hitting me n mom starts crying n cursing me. Do you think should his parents call n tell them? Also how should I forget all this tension n show eagerness for my marriage preparation my in-laws are doing in. Due to all this only narrow minded parents are at fault and I have really started hating them. I have started thinking negative. Pls let me know how I can think positively for all wrong things happening in my life. Sir I really need ur help, I thank u very much from my heart for helping me earlier also. Again I need your help. I hope you would understand what I m saying n what m going through. I am in confusion and very scared. Pls help me. Pls advice

If every things are set at your in-laws’ end and you are ready for it, then you have only one option left for your parents. The option is, give them a deadline; till you will  wait for their permission and then onwards you will go on your way. If you do not have courage to tell this to your dad, tell to your mom; any way it will reach to him. If you have made up your mind for this marriage then be prepared to take your parent’s retaliation. This could be verbal as well as physical.
Getting married without parent’s consent is always stressful and you will keep tense about this. Only relief for you is; you are accepted at the end where you are going to stay for your life.

My wife had physical relation with one of her friends, but now there is nothing. Her friend told me about all their relations. I had beaten my wife badly. Now I am not able to cope with the circumstances. I have one 7 year old son. Shall I get separated or what I shall do? Please advice.

Decision of divorce cannot be taken only on this, you have to tell me details of your marriage life.

I am married for one and half year. My husband has not made love at all since last few months. When I make a first move even to smooch, he just says no. I get frustrated and that leads in to a huge quarrels. He wants me to consult a psychologist. Sometime I just want to call off our relation. I am very scared of him. plz I want some strength to leave him one in for all. At the same time, I’m coming from a family where this is not easily acceptable. Please guide.

There can be many reasons for his lack of interest. As he is telling you to see psychologist, best thing would be to go to psychologist/psychiatrist with him. Probably things will be clear there. Only thing you need to insist him to accompany you for consultation.

Hello Dr. I’m from Gurgaon. Earlier my wife had a problem which I don’t think that science believes on that. But it’s true. Every time when she is sleeping either at night or in the day time, she dreams of ghost (bhoot and other bad things), due to that she was totally upset and sometimes she was shivering due to that. After that I took advice from a Pandit at my village. He advised me that somebody had sent this ghost so that you people cannot live in peaceful manner. To clear all these things we have arranged some pooja. After that everything comes back on track. But sometimes she remembers those things and again feels bad. Could you please help me how she can come out from this problem?

This could be attention seeking behaviour. She may have underlying emotional issues. Try to address her emotional issues. Relaxation exercise before going to bed can help her.

Sir, I got married before 5yrs. I have a kid also. My problem is I don’t want to have sexual intercourse with my husband. He was very disappointed. From the starting, only I don’t have much interest on that. Daily I used to scare for all the nights. I don’t want my husband to approach me for intercourse. Day by day, I am scaring very much for that. I am never allowing my husband to come near me for that. We are facing so much of problems and mi understandings between us. I discussed to some of my friends, they told me this distance also will be the problem, and they advised me to approach u. I don’t want to hurt my husband also. I should make my husband happy in that matter. What should I do? Please kindly help me and give me some solutions.

Lack of sexual desire is a multifactor problem. As you have this problem since beginning of your marital life, I think you require detailed analysis of your problem. Healthy sexual life is a base of happy married life so both of you should go to psychiatrist and discuss your problem. Alternatively you may try online counseling.

Dear Sir, I had friendship with 3-4 girls at different time and due to some reason we got separated. Though, I didn’t have physical relation with any of them. Ours was a purely emotion/feelings based friendship. Now, problem is that during our friendship I remain emotional and whenever our relation breaks I feel loneliness and sad and I can’t forget that relation for some time. After some time I started to live normal. The main thing is that I never expect any sexual type relation from any girl like others male. I just want some female friend at any moment of time with whom I can share all my feelings. It doesn’t matter that she is beautiful or not. After break of relation, for sometime I feel that now onwards I will never talk with any girl and I will live alone etc. but later on I again live as usual. I feel that I am emotionally dependent. Is it true? Please tell me what should I do? How can I control my emotion?

I think you are right; you are a person with strong emotional dependency needs. Because you are a male and girls are always better emotional supports you are more inclined towards female friends. You need work out on your emotional needs to come out of this problem, which requires lot of self-analysis and psycho-analysis.

I am a single woman of age 26 years. Till my teen age days I use to insert things in to my vagina. It began with pen and then to thicker things. I use to enjoy without knowing its consequences. I don’t practice such things anymore because I don’t enjoy it anymore. It doesn’t give me the same feeling (orgasm) or may be I have become sexless. Earlier, when I use to insert things, my vagina would be flooded with some thick fluid which has vanished now and my lower abdomen has swelled up. It seems I must have some problem in my cervix. Now, my parents want me to get married but I am scared and need your help: 1.Will my husband recognize that my vagina has been used for such purposes or has loosened? 2.What about the fluid? Will I be able to respond during intercourse? 3.Is there any medicine to get rid of this problem?

First of all there are several myths, which need clarification. There must be several teenagers who are following similar practice (of course their method varies). It is called masturbation and it is normal physiological urge.Masturbation doesn’t make you unable to enjoy sex in long run (sexless as you mentioned). The thick fluid is a lubrication that a woman releases to make the intercourse enjoyable and painless.Since you don’t enjoy the insertion process anymore, u don’t lubricate anymore.You will start lubricating once again when u will start enjoying the love making with your life partner.No, the husband will not know about the masturbation habit unless he is told about.  There are several gels available if incase you fear lubrication.