I m girl from Jain family and I love a boy who is my babhis cousin. I love him so much. Moreover, he also wants to marry me and make relation with me. So I want ask to u is that safe to make relation with him with precaution. I also Want to tell u that I m not sure he will marry me or not becoz he clearly say that if his family allow him then he marry me. Therefore, I’m in confusion what to do. What is right and what is wrong. My parents don’t like to make my bf as even my friends. What to do plz give me solution.

He is clear that he wants to enjoy and does not owe any commitment to you. If you are comfortable with this then you can think of going ahead. You have to take necessary precautions. If you ask my advice, I will ask you to stay away from such noncommittal relations as this may give you feeling of being used up in future.

My husband struggled a lot in his childhood days. Lost his parents at a young age and became the sole earning member at a tender age. With his hard work and vision, he achieved a professional position that hardly anyone imagines. He is a high rank government officer today. I am totally opposite of what he is I am effervescent, spontaneous and extrovert and he is an introvert. We both love each other and he is quite caring. He is very honest, principled and truthful person. My problem is his negativity. He usually finds fault in everything, particularly things related with me. If I complaint to him about something, he consoles me by justifying others’ behavior. When asked, he says since he considers me as an integral part of his life, he can expect some sacrifices or rather some adjustments only from me and no one else. I am okay with his justification but my problem is why do I have to suffer if he loves only me? His loves gives me criticism, lectures and gyan. Other problem is that he usually holds himself responsible for everything that goes wrong in his family members’ lives. How do I cope up with his temperament where he seems to love only his family members and hates everyone else? Also, he dislikes people who challenge him on anything and tries to prove them wrong and he does it easily coz he is quite well read and usually beats people. Ours is an arranged marriage, I liked him for his simplicity and principles. But I didn’t know that it would take me my lifetime to please him. Being his wife is no more a matter of pride, instead it costs me my happiness as I have to be the prey of his anger that he gets when he sees selfish, culprit people around. I respect him a lot and I am sure he loves me and my 6 months old daughter a lot but how do I make myself submissive to his every move and statement? Moreover, there is another woman officer he seems to admire a lot as she was a primary teacher and worked hard to become a high rank officer! His admiration for her also kills me. Though I know there is nothing between them but he once planned to buy a land in partnership with her and her family. These things upset me immensely and I feel like running away from everyone. Please suggest.

There is nothing wrong with you and how you are tackling the situation. The negativity that he has seems to be integral part of his personality. You may try talking to him in person and make him understand how much it is hampering you. Other than that if you are able to convince him you should take him to a consultant for him to open up and discuss his views freely.

Hi, I m a 19yr old girl. I am doing my graduation. I have a boyfriend who is 23yr old. He is a responsible man, caring. Gives me all freedom. I want 2 stay committed to him. He got a job this month and has been posted far away. He remains quite busy nowadays. Before, we used to talk about sex and all. But we never had sex. Now he has no time. Very heavy schedule. He is free only on Sundays. We just talk about our wellbeing. My problem is, I’m getting attracted towards another guy (8yrs eldr).He knows that I have a boyfriend. Still he wants me to believe that enjoying each other’s body is not wrong among friends. He says devote ur mind for career, heart for love and body for enjoying. He says that he has slept with many girls bt not fucked them. So he thinks that he is still a virgin!!. He says things so clearly that I get impressed. I know I m getting attracted 2 him for sex. I know I m doing wrong. But I m unable to neither resist him, nor can I avoid him. I met him today for 1st time. I had gone with a friend. He tried to touch here and there. I tried 2 avoid him bt cud nt resist. Now he insists to meet me alone. I’m afraid. He assures that he won’t do anything that I don’t allow. But again never misses any chance of exciting me. And I know that I would allow. How can I control myself??I mean, I just don’t want to cheat my boyfriend. I m getting selfish for my pleasure….I know I am doing wrong but don’t know how to control. Please help!!

When you know that you are doing wrong then why you want to go for it and invite guilt for the future?! Your boy friend is remaining busy in newly started job can not be the reason for cheating him. Second gentle man seems to be flirt and fraud to me (devote ur mind for career, heart for love and body for enjoying!!). He has slept with many girls and provoking you for the same shows his character. He is seeing you as sexual object and surrendering to him is foolishness. You will surely regret this in future. Looking to his ideas about enjoyment, having multiple relations in past and always trying to excite you; you should never ever trust him to meet him alone. Stop talking to him, immediately break the relationship and never try to explain him that why you are doing this, if you want to come out of this.

Dear Sir, this question is for one of my friend. Sir I think my friend has a problem, he always used to look at the girls, and always talk about girl’s hips and breasts as how big and voluptuous they are, he seems very desperate, whenever he see’s a girl or a woman, he just starts looking at her and watches her until she moves out of the sight, and always talk about having sex with them, and about new styles to have sex with them, however, every guy used to look at the girls or woman, and used to talk like this, but in his case, it is too much!. Everyone says that he is such a fucking desperate, every time, you know, every time he used to talk about it whether in mockery or seriously, every time he has these thoughts in his mind, and a single girl can draw his attention even from any important work or conversation. Sir, is there any cure for him?

He might be obsessed with sex. You may take help of psychiatrist to find out the root of these tendencies.

My friend who is a lecturer in college is married and lives happily with her husband. She has noticed that one of the students likes her. Please help her how to tackle this student.

She has to be careful that she should not pass any affirmative signals to him, knowingly or unknowingly. At the same time ignore him in subtle way. Do not try to explain or advise him on this because that will give wrong signal that you are giving importance to him, rather be indifferent to him.

Doctor, I am a 23 yr old girl from Hindu community. I love a Muslim guy and this relationship goes for about 4 and half years. Both of us fight very much and love each other a lot. We also had sexual relation many times. However, my parents wanted me to forget him and marry someone else. This is which I can never do any time. I feel I cannot live against my sub conscious mind. Can I live happily with him is my question. Will society allow Hindu girl and Muslim guy to exist happily. In addition, I masturbate and feel guilty later. I even promise on god that i will never masturbate again but I do it. Is it bad? Please tell me doctor. Thanks in advance.

Happiness in marriage depends upon both of you. Society may not accept your decision but understanding between both of you matters. Improve understanding to reduce fights.
Masturbation is normal physiological act and it does not cause harm. You should not feel guilty about your normal physiological urges.

Sir,there was a boy who was friends with me since last 6 months,he was a security personnel and I m a doctor,he first proposed me on Facebook but I dint like him so rejected him, so he told me to be friends with him,but I developed some feelings for him as he proposed me thrice at least,still I refused as I was suspicious of him but recently I came to know he was already in a relation since 3 years and had breakup since 2 mnths now, I was friends with him since October , why did he play with me then, he even asked for financial help of 10k I gave it to him but didn’t get it back,I also came to know that this guy is flirting with other girls too,if he was in relation with that girl why did he flirt with me and with other girls,it seems he keeps on telling that he loves that girl whom he was in relation with for 3 years.Any ways all my feelings died for him since that day only wen I came to know about his character but I feel depressed thinking why he cheated on me, i want to forget him and move on plz advice.

It’s good that you have realised that you have been taken for a ride. At the same time,you should also realize that it’s not your fault but his flirty nature which is responsible for such a distrustful behaviour. It is unfortunate that you became his prey and you should not feel guilty for that. Remember the lesson learned, be mature and move on.

Hello Doctor, although I can sing very nicely but whenever I have to sing in front of a crowd I am so scared that that my voice shakes. How do I overcome this kind of behavior and be confident?

Best way to overcome the fear is to face the fear. Start singing in front of others, may be few friends or family members and then crowd. You may practice visualization and self hypnosis to overcome your anxiety.

I married last year. I was with my husband for 8 months. Now I have left him and living with parents since last 4 months. My husband is suffering from Psychological problems, but he & his parents don’t accept it. He wants sex daily at night for 4-5 times & does not let me sleep. Sometimes he threatens me that he will hang himself to the fan. Sometimes he said he would cut his penis & testes. Sometimes he asked me to come with him to a temple & on the way he asked me who I was & where we were going. He would say he doesn’t know me. When my parents asked him why he did all these things he said he loved me too much & would just wanted me to listen to him & do whatever he wanted me to. Plz advise me if he is suffering from some psychological problem & if he can be cured. Thanks very much.

Small case history like this, is not sufficient to come to any conclusion but it gives an impression that he might be suffering from some psychotic Disorder (may be Schizophrenia). However, you should take him to Psychiatrist or you alone should go and discuss the case in detail for getting final diagnosis. Mental illnesses are treatable provided one takes regular treatment.

Hello Sir .I am 20yrs old and a 2nd year B.Tech. student. I am away from home and staying in a hostel. I am little shy by nature, may be not completely shy but do not mix easily with people. Although when I entered this course last year I did have a number of friends of both the sexes. But as time passed, in our group some couples started forming and there was also a girl to whom I was attracted to and she was also attracted to me because I started getting signals from her. There were a number of guys after her and they said something about me to her which created a lot of confusion and in the end I had to move out of that circle. This was about three months later. There were rumors about me and this girl already floating in the class for quite some time now and now since I had moved out of this group of ours I was not easily accepted by other. Now the point is I don’t have many friends. When I have a friend I open up very easily to him or her and I think this is my weakness because people then start taking me for granted and start using me because I am helping by nature. Now I don’t have many friends on whom I can depend upon. I need help. Please tell me what the problem in me is and what do I need to change.

Friendship is like a wine, you have to allow it to get matured before you start enjoying it. You seem to be a person who develops dependence fast. So before your friendship gets matured you start flowing and probably that is why friends might be taking you for granted. Keep this fact in mind and then go slowly before you start sharing and dependening.