Hello doctor, I am mba student, 21 years old. I am a virgin. My classmate of same age has some serious problem with her family. she calls me to have sexual intercourse telling that she is very much depressed. I refused her, as I don’t want to have sexual relationship with her B4 my marriage (I am very keen on this). However, I think of her and masturbate. I don’t love her. She cries about her family and begs with me to have sex. Should I do it? This is bothering me very much. I have sexual desires. However, I am not interested to marry her. She also doesn’t love me and threatens to commit suicide if I don’t have sex with her. This is going on for almost a year. plz advice me

Serious family issues, Depression, intense desire to have sex and suicidal threats shows she has serious emotional problems. Her pressure on you may be a part of her dependence and deep down desire of being wanted. Sometimes depressed person may have increased desire to have a sex. You should not succumb to her pressure if you really do not wish to get into it. Another possibility is, she may develop physical attachment to you once you enter in to sexual relationship with her. I think you should stay away from her.

I m married for the last 15 years. We both are educated and working. My husband is not open to talk. Four years back two times I have caught him with other women. Still I forgave him as I have two emotional weaknesses, my son and my parents. He gets angry without any reason and start abusing and saying that he wants to leave me. I cannot leave him, although I am quite independent and confident. He drinks a lot and normally loses his temper almost with everybody.

When you have caught him red-handed and that too twice, naturally he will be feeling defeated- frustrated from within. This might be resulting into the anger. Accepting your weaknesses in front of him will only give him chance to exploit you and that is what exactly he is doing. When he knows that you cannot leave him, he is threatening you that he wants to leave you!
Alcoholism may be root cause, effect or merely an associated problem. It needs to be tackled medically.

I have many confusions and hatred thoughts about the society and my environment. I don’t like to be in this society which is with all evil thoughts. Guide me please. Most of the time, I’d like to be alone. I love loneliness than adjusting and living in this nasty society. Please help me. I’m an engineering student learning information technology.

There has to be some reasons for your hatred towards the society and your enviornment. You need to work on them with the help of professional. We are social animal; we need society as much as we need food and water. Loving loneliness is fine but hating society is not healthy, try to work on underlying causes.

 

Dear Sir, I have seen one bride for marriage. She is 24 yr old, M Com, 5′ 2″ and from good family background. She is simple and homely Girl. Average in looks. I am an Engineer and 29 yr old. Good looking, 5’7″. I have one breakup. This girl is almost good but she is Slim/thin. Her breasts are not developed at all. She has selected me. She doesn’t have any objection with my earlier breakup. Now I have to tell my decision. I just have problem with her breast. My Elders tell me that her physical development will be done after marriage as in most cases Girl is physically developed after marriage. Is it true? In addition, I have one breakup. So due to this I have to make compromise on this point. What do you say? Should I move forward? Please give me reply soon. Thanks.

Girls do gain weight after marriage, but not all. Breast may or may not increase in size. Now a day, break up is not something for which you have to compromise. You should go ahead if you are comfortable with her current looks and qualities.

I am married for the last 18 years and have three kids. However our sex life despite a love marriage is very dull. We just have sex twice or thrice a month which is making me desperate and confused. I have tried everything to please my wife but she does not want to indulge in sex. Is my sexual drive very high? Or is hers very low! Please advice what could be done.

Her drive seems to be low. There has to be many reasons behind this. Reasons vary, may be hormonal, emotional, biological, social etc. You have to discuss with her keeping this possibilities in mind and even more preferable is to consult Psychiatrist for counseling and ruling out hormonal problem.

Dear Dr., I am contacting you to have consultation regarding my mother, aged 48 residing in Ahmadabad. Her problem is that she does not have TRUST on anyone, even my father. She cannot control her anger. She cannot stop herself saying bitter words. She is very possessive about her immediate family (husband and children) and her belongings (like house, household things etc). She really needs a serious treatment/consultation. Please advice. Thanks in advance!

She might be suffering from Schizophrenia or some paranoid disorder. Kindly consult Psychiatrist with her or without her (if she is not ready)

I am in love with a girl. She was also interested in the beginning. Later she started avoiding me. She used to work in the same company where I was working. I quit the Co. due to job dissatisfaction. Now she doesn’t even talk to me over the phone.

Avoidance followed by no communication! Accept that it’s over.

Doctor I had physical relationship with my boy friend for nearly 3 years. During that time I got pregnant once and got aborted. Now my parents looking for alliance with other guy suppose if I marry someone will he knows that I am not virgin. I feel my vagina is loose now. Moreover if I get pregnant with him will he know that I had an abortion done before through doctors? Please help me doctor in this. Thank you.

No.

Hello Doctor, I had been married for more than a year, we are facing difficulty in having continuous smooth sex. Sometimes we have proper intercourse, but at certain times I am unable to satisfy her, the erection goes off during middle of intercourse. Though I love her so much, but sometimes some things keep running in my mind about family issues and other factors, though I try very hard not to think about those things during love making, but its keep coming in mind. And certain times I don’t know what run in my mind. How can I overcome this situation and led a peaceful life having normal sex life. My wife always keeps complaining that her friends have sex daily, but we usually have 2 to 3 times in a week. But she always says that you don’t love me as you say, because we don’t have proper sex. What can I do to have normal and happy life with my wife?

Your erection failure has nothing to do with amount of love you have for your wife. Men can get erection without loving the woman he sleeps with, so erection and love has no connection. Your problem is related to your mental state during the act. During the act if you are flooded with negative emotions, anxiety etc then you may lose erection. Try to discuss the emotional issues running in your mind and sort out the solutions. Learn relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, Shabasan, Meditation, self hypnosis etc. Explain your wife not to put performance pressure on you, which can worsen your problem. Make her to read this answer.

I am a 20 year old guy and was never attracted towards a girl. But few months back I was attracted towards a girl when I saw her outside a movie hall & I approached to her & asked her name & no but she only gave her name & said she is committed. I didn’t say anything & went away but I felt sad about it because she was the only gal I was attracted to. But after 1 month I got to know from a friend of mine that she wanted to talk to me. Then I met her & asked what was the problem, she told me that her bf that she knew for more than 1 year went to U.S with family & she was totally alone & wanted someone to share her feelings as a friend but I said I was in love with her but she took it as a joke. Then after 1 month she was going to home & she told me she loves me & when after 12 days she came from her home I took her with myself to some other city for a change. We stayed there for one night & then came back other day. We stayed there in the same room at that night but nothing unusual happened. When we returned her bf called her & she said to me she was feeling guilty & can’t continue with me then I said no problem as I was ready to continue as a friend also. But after few days she told me the she told everything to her bf about whatever happened between us & she had been given a choice to choose between him & me & she chose me & then it was going well for 10 days but she again felt guilty & wanted to break completely with me & everything broke but after 1 month she called me up & wanted to be friend with me & I accepted but after few days I got to know her bf abused her & she broke with him. But she doesn’t want to be in any relationship as what happened with her. She is a Muslim & I am a Hindu. Earlier I was feeling guilty that because of me so much bad happened in her life but now I am happy that she had a wrong choice. Now I don’t know what to do. I am really messed up. Please help me. What should I do? She’s really childish & emotional. Please suggest me what to do.

What I understand from this is you both are immature. In my opinion you should not continue as your feelings are not steady towards each-other. You have already broke up with her, now do not start it again.