I am 28 yrs old married women. My husband is 32 years old. I was not virgin when I got married to my husband. He complains that my vagina is loose and doesn’t get satisfaction.

Your virginity status may or may not be related to your vaginal laxity. You can tighten your vagina by doing Kegel’s exercise, daily and regularly. It is said that kegel exercises make the vagina tighter. It is an exercise of your pelvic muscles. A popular way to identify the pelvic muscles in men and women is to stop the flow of urine midstream. This is accomplished by contracting the pelvic floor muscles. Restarting the flow of urine is accomplished by releasing the pelvic floor muscles. Once identified this way, the pelvic floor muscles can be contracted and released independently of controlling urination. Kegels are most frequently performed in sets. Here are a few techniques:
Do 15 reps of quick pumps, pause for 30 seconds and repeat. Start at 15 and work your way up to 100 reps two times a day.
Contract the muscle slowly and hold for 5 seconds, release slowly. Work your way to at least 25 reps two times a day.
slowly contract 1/3 of the way, pause, then 2/3 of the way, pause, then all the way. Do 10 reps two times a day.
If you are overweight then try to reduce your weight. During intercourse keep you leg crossed.

Sir, my problem is that generally I forget suddenly whatever I see. E.g. If I go to a mall, I enter from the main gate but I forget what was written on the gate or just side of the gate. And I am also having problem of night fall (seeing sexual dream).Please suggest me. Thanks.

Normally this type of memory issues is because of some psychological problems like Anxiety, Stress, Depression, Attention deficit etc. I need more detail to answer your question in detail.
Night fall is normal and the best treatment for night fall is regular masturbation! Do not think that I’m joking but this is what sexual medicine say. Once you start regular intercourse or masturbation night fall will stop.

hi doctor I had an affair with a married man before some years. He was my well wisher too. We had sexual relationship and one time I got conceived and went to hospital to abort. After few years my marriage was fixed and I changed my mind to be very loyal with my husband. I talked with my husband only through phone. We had a deep understanding and we both loved each other so much. I told my past affair and everything to him. He cried a lot and started doubting me. He said I am not a good character etc and stopped the marriage. He said that he wants a virgin and not me. I told my affair matter only to him and not even to my parents. Now all of them know it. Some of my relatives also know it. Some are advising me to marry the person whom you had an affair before some years. He says that I have ditched him and left me. My husband feels that I cheated him and left me. My parents felt very bad about me that I didn’t told them about this. My relatives are seeing me like a devil. Everyday I am thinking about suicide doctor… I don’t know what to do.Please give me some solution doctor..

Dear dear you made a great mistake by telling all these to your future husband. No man on this earth will ever digest this. They will surely react by different ways but never accept. Their attitude will never be the same. Married man with whom you had a relation is also running out of his responsibility. His fun and interest is over. By making you feel guilty he has smartly escaped. Parents are showing their helplessness. I understand that you may feel suicidal in such situation but you should not think that this is an end. Accept that you had bad time in your life. Learn out of your mistakes and look foreword in life. Time is the only solution and life will come with new hopes, new happenings. God bless you.

Respected doctor, I am 21yrs old. I am an architecture student and I am suffering from GAD. I have been on venlor xr (75mg)[2 times a day ],and etizola0.5 [1 time a day ],,sine past 5-6month. My medicines shows effect to treat anxiety, but the effect soon vanishes after one day and again I have to take medicines. My question is that for how long should I continue to take medicines [as I don’t like to have pill everyday especially in such young age] 2.my doctor says that my stress of work is the reason and I should continue medicines to get well 3. I have heard that etizola is banned for sale in US and Canada. DOES IT IS SAFE TO HAVE ETIZOLA (0.5mg) daily, which I have been taking for past 6 month, will it affect my body?

Only medicines are never going to cure you from Anxiety. You should do relaxation exercises regularly (ask your therapist to teach you). Nobody likes to take medicines but one has to take until he gets cured. These medicines are safe, provided you take under medical supervision.

Dr, I am 28 yrs old women married for 5 yrs. I have a son. I am really tensed with our sexual life. My husband shows no interest in sex and whenever I show interest to him he tries to go away with so many invalid reasons like headache or he wants to sleep. I don’t know why he is doing this. We have a happy husband wife relationship except sexual relationship. He is a good husband and loves me a lot but when it comes to sex he changes. We hardly have sex once in a month also. Sometimes we have fight also over this. I m really getting impatient. Dr please suggest me the right solution.

There are numbers of reason for loosing sexual interest. Married life of only 5 years and happy relations rules out boredom or burnt out. He may have some sexual problem like erectile dysfunction (not getting enough tightness to penetrate) or premature ejaculation (when he finishes too early). Male will always feel ashamed of such inadequacies and hesitate to accept it so he avoids. Having a son does not rule out these problems. Discuss with him about his problem of lack of interest in sex and your needs as well. Take help of psychiatrist as they are qualified sexologist too.

I am a 28 yrs old male. I used to masturbate from very small age, around 14 yrs. Now a day I am not getting proper erection during masturbation. I have started feeling that am not fit for sexual intercourse. My family is pressurizing me for marriage. What should I do?

Masturbation never leads to loss of erection. Sometimes you may not get erection during masturbation. This may be because of your anxiety. Do not worry and get married.

Hi Dr Hansal, I am male, age 29 working in a govt agency. I have got married last yr June and have completed one and a half yr of marriage. I got married to the same girl with whom I was in a steady relationship since 2002. I don’t know now whether it’s me or her to blame for the terrible relationship as a husband and a wife we have between us. It all started last year when my parents joined me for their treatment for arthritis and dad for pacemaker check up. The frequency between my mother and my wife didn’t match which resulted in their being thrown out of my house by my wife and her father who is also posted here. Actually my parents are very simple and they don’t speak much that’s one of the reasons why they accepted going away from my house. We are from a poor family when compared to my wife’s family. And her father keeps on reminding me of that. It was a very painful experience for me as I never ever even in my thoughts dreamed about all these things happening in my life. Somehow I overcame all these things. As per my wife’s version she was mentally harassed by my parents, which may be true but there were other ways of dealing with it but was not dealt with. Then for about 5 months or so we didn’t have any sort of problems between us. But suddenly one fine day she stopped talking to me on some petty issue of coming late to pick her up from some place. This resulted in a quite a big quarrel between us where she resorted to abusing me in all possible ways and threatening to divorce me. Somehow again I accepted my fault (as per her) and bent on my knees not to leave me and go to her father’s place every now and then. All went up fine after I was compelled to apologize from her and her father. In December we had planned to go to her hometown as she said, but my father’s pacemaker developed a problem due to which I had to move in two days, she again snubbed me and cancelled the whole programme, as she doesn’t even speak to my parents, in spite of my assuring her the visit as per plan. She is again not speaking to me and abusing me in all possible ways. She is also calling up her sisters and speaking all ill about me even to this effect that I am badly stuck at this man’s hand, and I don’t want a kid as he would leave me and many more. This has hurt me like anything. I have done so much for her , supported her in all possible ways, agreed to all things said by her, I mean has done whatever she has said but this is the outcome I am getting. I am very much mentally disturbed by this relationship but hesitate to take any drastic step as I love her a lot. I am confused. Please tell me what I should do. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide also as I know, I cannot do anything to bring back the happiness what we had between us. I feel that her father is the main culprit who’s been brain washing her every now and then. To tell you one more thing, her mother is mentally imbalanced as people say that her (my wife’s) father has beaten her up so much that she has lost her mental balance around 20 yrs back so she doesn’t stays with him at this place and she resides alone at their ancestral place.

You did mistake by apologizing where you were not wrong. When you accept her bullies like this, it is at the cost of self respect. Now she knows that she is your weakness and you are not able to live without her, naturally she will show her attitude. You should make your stand absolutely clear on your parent’s issue and should not tolerate her misbehaviour. I’m not telling you to fight with her but at the same time you have to defend your self-respect at any cost. While changing your attitude like this, she may throw tantrums against it. You have to be firm on your stand.
If her mother is suffering from some mental illness, then there is a possibility that she may have inherited bad temper or personality traits.

My husband was doing B.A.in arts subject in second year. His father was a minister at that time. He sent my husband to Dominican republic on donation for MBBS study. At that time our engagement was done I was in 2nd MBBS at B.J Ahmedabad. He went for studying but being an arts student he was not able to cope up and came back to India after 6 year trial and 20 lakhs expense. I have done M.S. in ophthalmology. Now I have a private practice but he has no business. I think he is not trying for it. He has conflict with his father because of habit of spending more money. He also tried a suicide attempt once. His nature is very angry. So please guide me.

As his father was a minister, his personality must have emerged with typical traits (in background of neglect, dominance and power).His current problem must have deep roots linked to his personality, upbringing and failures. This requires good analysis and counselling. Try to seek professional help.

We have recently shifted to Delhi in a very small house having two small bed rooms. I have my elder brother, my mom and pa in my family. My mom and pa are sleeping in one bedroom and my brother and myself sleeping in a single bed in another room. One day when I was preparing for my test in the night. I noticed erected penis of my brother which was coming out from the dhoti he used to wear. His penis was so large and attractive I could not stop myself touching it. I was so fascinated with it. I took his penis in my vagina. Since then we are daily having sex with each other without the knowledge of our parents. But love to have sex with him, but worried about thinking my future life when I would get married. You are requested to please advise what to do. Will my future husband able to find out the truth. I have no regret as far as our relationship is concerned the only fear is my marriage life. Please advice.

He may come to know from the way you respond during the sexual act with him as experienced female would respond differently than novice one, provided he is smart enough and also experienced.

Respected Sir, I was having a boy friend and we want to get married but my dad did not allow us. So I broke up with him. Now he is so much upset even I am worried about him, but cannot help him in any way. So what should I do to make him feel normal like before? As he can’t believe that I left him alone at the last moment.

It might be disappointing but there is nothing that you should do to help him. As in this situation if you try to help him both of you will become emotionally dependent on each other and then to end this relation will be although more difficult. I am sure time will heal his pain, and your absence will fasten that process.