Your thoughts are part of normal men’s fantasy. However, acting upon it may not be acceptable to your wife. No woman on this earth would ever like her husband talking of having sex with other woman. So rather then  wasting your efforts in convincing her try to spice up your life with other ways and means.

Sir I loved a guy 2 years before and as time passed we even got physical with our relationship. But soon he broke up as he said he loved another girl. And right now I am not able to forget him and even now he calls me and he wants me only to satisfy him physically. I am really confused about what I should do as I am not able to forget him even. And to be very frank I even consider him as my husband. So please help me out with my problem. Thanks.

When he has rejected you and is involved with some other female how can you allow him to be physical with you?! I think, you should stop all kind of relations with him.

Hi Doctor. May God Bless you for the good deed you are doing for the people like us. I wish to share my feelings with you. I am married for almost 2 years. I have a son also. I have a very strange problem. I very strongly feel why a woman has to bear more pain than man. Woman is considered to be weaker sex but they work more than man do. I am working in a corporate. I am expected to manage the baby & other household work when I am home & work when I am in office. I don’t understand when I & my husband come home at the same time from office, why is it that he takes rest , orders for water , tea & dinner and I am expected to make my own stuff as well as for him & my in laws however tired I am . I also need some rest. My in laws are very much against keeping a cook. I know every female has to do this but it is not fair. This is not just a feeling, it is so strong in my mind that I get irritated & take up fights with my husband. I always get a feeling that why should I suffer so much. I have to get up twice or thrice in the night , then get up early morning, make my own breakfast , do stuff for baby , travel on my own to reach office, work there, come back & work in the kitchen, if get free then manage the baby. I am not spared even on weekends while my husband takes rest when he is home. It is not that he or my in laws do not take care of the baby but the ultimate responsibility for everything is mine. If he is not feeling well, he can afford to take rest but I can’t. I want to overcome this negative feeling. I tried to raise the topic of maid at my place but it becomes an issue and we end up fighting. I try to accept that I should be doing it because it is my duty but these feelings never go. These thoughts are always there in back of my mind. I feel so disgusted. I start hating my in laws & my husband because of this. Even before marriage I used to compare myself with my brother and when my mom asked me to help her I used to refuse. Of course when I started working before marriage, there was a bit of attitude change in me but still could never accept the unfairness done to girls. Please advise how I should remove this thought from my mind.

You have to accept this as a part of our social structure and mentality. However, some males are very considerate and they share responsibilities on their own. You may try to convince your husband on this issue in a healthy manner instead of quarreling.

Hi doctor, please help me. I love a girl for past eight years. We had sexual relationship many times and she got pregnant and aborted. After that we had some misunderstanding between us. She will doubt me when I spoke to other girls. So I too started saying about her. But last week I came to know that she chatted with her friend (Male) about sex. That guy has called her for sex she too went with that guy. But she says that they did all except fucking. Can I trust her. She accepts they both were nude but not fucked because she can’t do with other guy other than me. Can I trust her words or they would have fucked? Please doctor, help me. I wish to marry her in future if I came to know they have fucked, I will be broken. Please guide me doctor.

They were nude, doing all sort of erotic activity but she did not go for intercourse because she was committed to you! What an explanation!! I do not think this would have been possible as both of them nude and having other sexual activity. In any case she has not revealed this to you but you have found out on your own, that means she has cheated. I do not think you will be comfortable with her in future with this doubt running at the back of your mind.

Doctor, I am very emotional. I do not know how to control it. Even while talking in group, if someone talks kind and touchy words towards me or of about someone who I like, brings tears in my eyes. I will be very emotional that time and it needs some time to recover for me. It is very embracing to me while in Group. I also get very emotional when I see such scenes in movies also. Sometime I feel it’s very embracing being a male. What to do to overcome this. Please advice.

You have to work this out as it has become the part of your personality. Cognitive-Behaviour therapy can help you. You can take this therapy from Psychiatrist or trained psychotherapist. You may try online counselling also.

I have done a lot of big mistakes in my life and now I really want to end my life. I was never serious for studies. In school days I had a bad habit of stealing money from home and eating delicacies or spending on friends. Then at secondary I changed my marks in 11th class report card. Then in engg I felt I was in love with a guy. But now that also am confused I was in love or that was just an attraction or urge coz all my friends had boyfriends. I was serious for my studies in engg first and second year. But then because of this I got distracted. I have broken up with that guy now. I found that he did this with many other girls. But in those few months of relation I had physical relationship with him. I didn’t have complete sex and didn’t loose my virginity but I had physical relationship 2 times. I am a very emotional kind of person, too emotional. But he played with my emotions. Now u can understand how I am feeling. it’s been a long time after our break up but every time some bad events happen, my mind flash backs to those mistakes. My life’s biggest mistakes. I am sure u will not create any problems but still am scared. I am unable to know what will happen if the person I choose as my life partner will know. I know there are less chances of knowing. But I feel like I should say it. Please suggest me something. And help me forget the person who played with my emotions. Thank you a lot.

You are suffering because of guilt ridden nature. It is a part of your personality. In my opinion you have cluster 2 personality. This makes you impulsive, emotionally fragile, dependent in relationship, guilty, demanding, rebellion to an extent etc. You may seek psychiatrist’s help to understand this. In a view of your personality, you should honestly confess your past at the onset of relationship. Confession will give you mental relief from the guilt.

I’m 23 yr old girl. I got engaged with a person 6 months back. Right now he is staying in USA. Before we got engaged he used to call me often but after that he started calling once in a week. I thought he might be busy that’s why he is not calling and whenever I ask him why you are not calling he always says I’m busy. I don’t have any affairs in my past life and he loved one girl in his college days but she didn’t love him and she got married with another guy and presently he also doesn’t have any affairs. Always we both had limited conversations like about our school life, our relationships and friends nothing more than that. On one day suddenly he stopped talking with me I don’t know why? I called him but he didn’t pick my call and I have sent a mail. There was no response to that mail also. Later on my dad called his dad and explained the whole thing. His father talked with me and he found that there is mistake from my side. Then that guy called me one day and he said sorry to me. I asked the reason why he has stopped talking with me. Then he said you are always asking why you are not calling? So I stopped talking to you. But I didn’t felt happy with his talk. There is no any confession in his words, next to that I never asked him why you are not calling but again he is repeating the same thing now. He always tries to insult me through his words. In his talk I didn’t find any affection towards me. My parents are saying don’t worry after marriage definitely he will change. Really I’m very depressed about this situation, now I’m in a dilemma whether I should marry him or not. In fact I’m feeling helpless in this situation. Please suggest me in this regard. In next month we are getting knotted. I’m requesting please give me reply as soon as possible…..

I do not understand what keeps you in this relation? It is an illusion that everything gets alright after marriage. You need to think twice before you go ahead.

Hi Doctor. I am 21 year old. I lost my dad at the age of 14. I am a person who gets possessive with small little things, say Friend or my Relationship. I feel I have no one. I cry almost everyday. I don’t speak to my Mom or Brother though I know they are very important to me. Now my mom and brother are into a conclusion that I am a reserved person that’s the reason I don’t mingle with them. My guy says I am Psychic and I need some consultation. I am suffering from some pain. He even tells that due to my possessiveness nobody will be there in any kind of relation with me. I am depressed, feel like joining Rehabilitation. Help me. I am suffering from headache since 5 days. I broke my relation with my guy and my friends.

You might be feeling insecure from within, may be because of loss of father at tender age. You have to work out on that. Counseling may help you to overcome your insecurities and depression.

Today I read almost all your answer. I appreciate that you are doing a wonderful job. God bless u and your family.

Thanks a lot for your appreciation.

Dear Sir, Its 5 years that we are married but since the birth of our daughter (4 years) my husband refuses to have sex with me. When I asked him the reason he says that he doesn’t like my behavior, the way I react when I am corrected. Dr for all these years I have somehow managed to stay without a physical relationship but things are getting worse for me. He does not even talk properly to me, does not spend time with me he is a businessman by profession. At times I feel probably stree is keeping him away from me. I cry throughout the night. I’m just fed up. I crave for his love & affection. How do I get my husband back? I really love him a lot. Please help me sir, please. It’s a long time now. I have not enjoyed my married life at all. He also tells me at times that his parents are not happy with the effort I’m putting in managing the home & that too makes him stay away from me. What’s the exact problem Dr I need your urgent help. I shall be ever grateful to you. Thanks Dr.

He seems to be exploiting you on your sexual desire. This is how he might be pressurizing you to change the way he wants. If you think that you need to improve your behaviour then work in that direction. At the same time stop demanding or craving for his love or sex. Let him become impatient about why you have stopped craving for sexual relationship. He might be involved somewhere is also a possibility.