Hello sir, I a unmarried boy of 25. I have regular habit of masturbation. Some time before I get an affair with a widow of 28. At the time of intercourse I feel the problem of premature ejaculation in me. After three months I leaved her because of my posting since 2 year. Now I am getting married within one month and I am very afraid with my premature ejaculation. Please help me in this matter I really very thankful to you.

Habitual masturbation and long interval between intercourses some time leads to premature ejaculation. Kindly put word Masturbation as well as Kegel’s exercise in search box (Top right) and you will find my answers on this issue. Try to do Kegel’s exercise and you may take medicines called fluoxetine, by prescription.

Hi Doctor, liked your site very much. I have a problem in my married life. I am married since 7yrs but from last 3-4 yrs we haven’t slept together. I think that he doesn’t love me and also there is no conversation between us. Whenever he is at home we have a fight. I can’t leave him. I do have a 3yrs daughter.

I need more details about your relationship to answer your question.

Dear Sir, I have seen one bride for marriage. She is 24 yr old, M Com, 5′ 2″ and from good family background. She is simple and homely Girl. Average in looks. I am an Engineer and 29 yr old. Good looking, 5’7″. I have one breakup. This girl is almost good but she is Slim/thin. Her breasts are not developed at all. She has selected me. She doesn’t have any objection with my earlier breakup. Now I have to tell my decision. I just have problem with her breast. My Elders tell me that her physical development will be done after marriage as in most cases Girl is physically developed after marriage. Is it true? In addition, I have one breakup. So due to this I have to make compromise on this point. What do you say? Should I move forward? Please give me reply soon. Thanks.

Girls do gain weight after marriage, but not all. Breast may or may not increase in size. Now a day, break up is not something for which you have to compromise. You should go ahead if you are comfortable with her current looks and qualities.

I am 56 and I had sex with my friend’s daughter yesterday. She is 18yrs old. We didn’t use a condom during intercourse. I ejaculated a lot into her vagina but during that she pained a lot. What would be the reason behind the pain? Does age factor make difference for that? Is it sexually safe to keep such relationship with her? Please advice.

Morally this is wrong. Girl much younger than you and that too friend’s daughter! Her pain is normal phenomenon and it has nothing to do with your age. There is a risk of pregnancy if you are not taking due precautions.

Hi Dr Hansal, I am male, age 29 working in a govt agency. I have got married last yr June and have completed one and a half yr of marriage. I got married to the same girl with whom I was in a steady relationship since 2002. I don’t know now whether it’s me or her to blame for the terrible relationship as a husband and a wife we have between us. It all started last year when my parents joined me for their treatment for arthritis and dad for pacemaker check up. The frequency between my mother and my wife didn’t match which resulted in their being thrown out of my house by my wife and her father who is also posted here. Actually my parents are very simple and they don’t speak much that’s one of the reasons why they accepted going away from my house. We are from a poor family when compared to my wife’s family. And her father keeps on reminding me of that. It was a very painful experience for me as I never ever even in my thoughts dreamed about all these things happening in my life. Somehow I overcame all these things. As per my wife’s version she was mentally harassed by my parents, which may be true but there were other ways of dealing with it but was not dealt with. Then for about 5 months or so we didn’t have any sort of problems between us. But suddenly one fine day she stopped talking to me on some petty issue of coming late to pick her up from some place. This resulted in a quite a big quarrel between us where she resorted to abusing me in all possible ways and threatening to divorce me. Somehow again I accepted my fault (as per her) and bent on my knees not to leave me and go to her father’s place every now and then. All went up fine after I was compelled to apologize from her and her father. In December we had planned to go to her hometown as she said, but my father’s pacemaker developed a problem due to which I had to move in two days, she again snubbed me and cancelled the whole programme, as she doesn’t even speak to my parents, in spite of my assuring her the visit as per plan. She is again not speaking to me and abusing me in all possible ways. She is also calling up her sisters and speaking all ill about me even to this effect that I am badly stuck at this man’s hand, and I don’t want a kid as he would leave me and many more. This has hurt me like anything. I have done so much for her , supported her in all possible ways, agreed to all things said by her, I mean has done whatever she has said but this is the outcome I am getting. I am very much mentally disturbed by this relationship but hesitate to take any drastic step as I love her a lot. I am confused. Please tell me what I should do. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide also as I know, I cannot do anything to bring back the happiness what we had between us. I feel that her father is the main culprit who’s been brain washing her every now and then. To tell you one more thing, her mother is mentally imbalanced as people say that her (my wife’s) father has beaten her up so much that she has lost her mental balance around 20 yrs back so she doesn’t stays with him at this place and she resides alone at their ancestral place.

You did mistake by apologizing where you were not wrong. When you accept her bullies like this, it is at the cost of self respect. Now she knows that she is your weakness and you are not able to live without her, naturally she will show her attitude. You should make your stand absolutely clear on your parent’s issue and should not tolerate her misbehaviour. I’m not telling you to fight with her but at the same time you have to defend your self-respect at any cost. While changing your attitude like this, she may throw tantrums against it. You have to be firm on your stand.
If her mother is suffering from some mental illness, then there is a possibility that she may have inherited bad temper or personality traits.

Respected sir, my girl friend and I used to do oral sex few months ago. But she feared because she thought it can make her pregnant. Please tell me, is oral-sex safety from birth-control? Please help….

Oral sex never causes pregnancy.

I got married this year (14 Feb 2009), I am an Interior designer, working woman, it’s a love marriage, and my husband is a businessman. My in laws (Mother in law& both sister in law) doesn’t want me to carry on the job as their conception for “wife” is fully backward, i.e. –she should do household works, should stay at home, basically she dislikes working woman. They always pressurize me (indirectly) to leave the job; they act very politely in front of their son while starts abusing me in his absence. We can’t leave home as he can’t shift his business. He has to leave everything if he leaves home (business too) as told by his parents. Though I spent a little time but in this time they never leave a second & start insulting & misbehave with me. I am not that kind of girl to behave like dumb, or ignore what they say, I feel bad; I am hurt with their behavior, I can’t engulf this much. They have crossed all their limits; we are unable to fight against them. Situations are getting worse day by day. I lost all the hopes of living happily. Please help.

You did not mention your husband’s stand. If he is supporting you for your carrier then you need to ignore other’s dislike for it. Take your husband’s help to convince them. If your husband is not supportive then you are in miserable condition.

I love someone. I broke up with him once, after that I called him, and now it has been 6 years in this relationship. But he doesn’t trust me now. I can’t live without him. But he thinks that I am just flirting. Today he became angry on me because my exams are going on, and I cannot meet him. What should I do to get his trust back? I want to die.

I need to know the reason why you had broken up with him to make further comment, because I believe roots of his mistrust must be laying there.

I have many questions to ask. But first I would like to ask about my emotional problem. I have completed my engineering in the year 2000.i worked for an institute but I had to leave the job because of my boyfriend’s behavior. He is less educated than me and a bit orthodox type. He loves me to the core but is overtly protective. I have not had a sound childhood due to fights between my parents and their lack of interest in me. Right now I am unemployed since 4 years and going into terrible depression day by day, my parents are old now and my boyfriend and I are just with each other for compromise sake. I am totally messed up with my life and feel like ending it. Please try to give me a solution for this.

You did not described which behavior of your boy friend compel you to leave job, why you are jobless since 4 years (you are not getting job or your boy friend is not allowing you to do the job) and why your relationship is on compromise mode.
Right now, what I can suggest you is to find out the job and start working.

Sir, I am in a relationship since 3 years. I was planning my life with her and I was going to propose her for marriage. But I recently found out that she is cheating on me. We live in different cities and my work is keeping me little busy these days, so I could not give her more time. But whatever I am doing is not only for me, it is for ‘our’ future. I don’t know if my business has created this or something else. But I can’t think of her with anyone else. And I am afraid to ask her and clear all this out. Because this may end our relationship as I don’t have sure shot proofs. I just have her, but some of my friends have told me that she’s regularly going out with a guy since many days.

First you need to confirm that your doubt is real, you may also have to go for a break up if she is really cheating on you, because the foundation of a relation is trust. And if trust is not maintained then it is difficult to live happily together
If you don’t get proper proofs and are still suspicious then you may go ahead and clear your doubts.  It is always better to talk and clear things, instead of keeping misunderstanding in the relation. If she is serious about you she will not leave you because you asked her something. Also if you feel insecure that you are losing her than you should even share this feeling with her and ask her what is causing the distance in the relationship?