I’m 21 years old studying MBA. I’m very silent in nature. I’m unable to interact with the people around me. Regarding marriage I don’t have special interest for it. I’m not motivated to the boys of my class but motivated to one of my faculties, who is of 26 yrs. I want his attention to me and also want to be friendly with him, but the situation is quite opposite. I have very less interaction with him. In between he left the job for doing his further studies; at the same time one of my friends has been close to him. Seeing her I too sent mails to him and also sent missed calls by mistake. This had created a bad impression of mine. Now he has returned to our collage and is taking our classes as a guest faculty but not my papers. I’m not interacting with him now. I feel depressed. I’m sure that I’m not in love but some other liking. I want his attention towards me but how?

I think you should meet him personally and clarify about your missed calls. You cannot get his attention without establishing communication with him, except you are attractive enough to draw his attention.

Respected sir, I have a problem. I study in a science college and am doing my second year BSc (Maths). I was a sincere and hard working girl till my 10th standard. But in 11th because of school change and the teachers which I got, my career was ruined. My maths and bio teacher both harassed me mentally by failing me unnecessarily. As am very sensitive and can’t tolerate even a small problem, my 11th and 12th results both were affected because I dint study due to the mental harassment. I don’t have any regret that I am doing BSc. And my friends are in engineering or pharmacy or medicine but what makes me upset is that I couldn’t achieve my goal in 12th standard. My friends got high percent in 12th though they were all bad at studies than me but in boards they got more than me. Now none of them talks to me and when I asked why they doing so, they said that I broke up with them. Frankly telling you sir that I am very kind hearted and honest person. I had always helped my friends without thinking of my studies or career. But today no one even talks to me. After my 12th, in college I got one very good friend and he is a boy. He was in other college but we met through one common friend. Today he is still my friend but he left the place I live because his studies got over and now he is leaving India soon. We both are best friends and understand each other very well. We both love each other but we know that we can’t marry because he is from other caste and my parents won’t allow me to marry him. He also has one problem for not marrying me and that is I am manglik so his parents refused him to marry me. My parents doesn’t like that I talk to him and continue at least friendship with him because he is from low caste. They don’t know about our love. But I can’t stop talking to him and he is leaving India forever for further studies and will settle there. We both have convinced ourselves that we can’t get each other. As I told u earlier that am very sensitive and I can’t tolerate his going far from me. Due to this am getting low marks in my exams. I had problem in first year also that’s why am very depressed. I was a ranker then also I failed in external exams so my second year also got spoiled of late admission. I can’t cope up with studies now. I have become careless and always feel to cry. I am very depressed and always feel to die. I can’t concentrate on my studies properly. I have become very fat also so now I have inferiority complex. I am very shy also. I want to become like I was till 10th –hardworking, sincere, punctual and very serious about studies. Sir, I request you to suggest me some proper way to cope with all this. I hope you will give me proper guidance regarding this matter.

You have tendency to brood over the past and you need to overcome it. Whatever happened with you in 10th is a past and you have paid the penalty in form of 12th result. Now you have to decide that how much more you want to pay for this. Regarding your friend, let him remain as a friend; keep in touch with him and that’s all! Why you should think beyond this when nothing further is possible? Once you clearly understand these two facts, things will start getting in to order. God bless you.

HI Dr. I have a problem 1 girl love me so much she is from nagpur and software engineer, I also like her but I already gave a word to my german friend I love her now the problem is I am confused what to do because my german girl friend and me are totaly different by nature and our culture as well, she says she will adjust with me and my family we are middle class, and I fear can our marriage be a successful in future,

When you have to choose between whom you love and who loves you, you have to choose later one. The one who loves you is more ready to adjust you and change accordingly. I agree with you that there is a vast difference between two cultures. It is good that she is ready to change and adjust but it is a matter of future. If I have to put my bet I will opt for one who loves me (sonds bit selfish?!)

Your advise has helped me get along in past. I am highly qualified and my husband being in a transferable job, I kept picking up jobs as and when I got an opportunity, now he is in a very good post but the place is remote with lack of opportunities, I know I made choices in life and it is expected of me to make sacrifices, but with both children in a hostel, I feel depressed and a lack of purpose. It’s been six months now, I have tried walks, yoga, reading but I keep losing focus and lose interest in things that have to be done. I am a budding writer, but of late lost all motivation to write, I find excuses to get around doing things for myself, I’m also an artist, but even that I am not able to concentrate on. What is wrong with me, what do I do to keep going. Please help.

You might be suffering from Depression. You are doing everything which is needed to fight Depression. I mean exercises, meditation, yoga, reading etc. While continuing all these, you may seek professional help.

Hello Dr. I’m from Gurgaon. Earlier my wife had a problem which I don’t think that science believes on that. But it’s true. Every time when she is sleeping either at night or in the day time, she dreams of ghost (bhoot and other bad things), due to that she was totally upset and sometimes she was shivering due to that. After that I took advice from a Pandit at my village. He advised me that somebody had sent this ghost so that you people cannot live in peaceful manner. To clear all these things we have arranged some pooja. After that everything comes back on track. But sometimes she remembers those things and again feels bad. Could you please help me how she can come out from this problem?

This could be attention seeking behaviour. She may have underlying emotional issues. Try to address her emotional issues. Relaxation exercise before going to bed can help her.

Hello sir, my problem is that I love a girl and we know each other from 3 yrs. We want to marry. The problem is that we are of different religions, I m Sikh and she is Muslim. My parents are against it, I can understand their fear but don’t know how to deal with that. Moreover, I feel if I get married with her, there can be problems regarding possessiveness of my parents, MIL-DIL feud etc. etc. so what to do regarding such situations? I know I have to support my going to be wife in such cases, but my parents have done so much for making me who I am today. I can support my wife but I will feel guilty inside that I am not considering my parents in their age and caring them, because I am from a middle class family. Please help me out.

This is a sensitive issue for your parents. Knowing them, you should have thought this much earlier. Now, either you convince them or have to choose between two. Nothing else can be thought at this point.

During sex, my wife shares her premarital sex experiences when she is aroused. During sex, I also enjoy those things. However, after sex those things hurt me a lot.

Erotic talks during sex are normal, in fact desirable to increase sexual pleasure. Talking about your own sexual experiences with someone else may give you pleasure during the act but later on it may be traumatic and damaging self-respect of both partners. You should decide to stop talking about your personal past experiences and may continue talking about non-personal erotic imagination or fantasies.   

Dear Sir, I need your guidance for my brother. My elder brother got married 2 yrs back. His wife (My Bhabhi) started to fight with my parents just 1 month after their marriage on small-small matters. After some time we came to know that she had affair with someone before marriage and it is continued till date. From the beginning she won my brother’s confidence emotionally and made him against us. My brother doesn’t believe whatever we say to him about her (even about affair). We have doubt that she has physical relation too with her lover. Before 6 months she had big fight with us and at that time my brother had taken her side. After that they don’t live with us. They live alone in other house. Now there is no control on her and she meets her lover at home itself. Now my brother realized the fact and his mistake. However he doesn’t have any control on her. Whenever he tells anything to her, she gives threat of suicide. Often I get so angry that I feel like killing her. We (I and my father) get very angry by knowing the fact that a person of loose character is living with my brother and still we can’t do anything because my brother doesn’t support us. We want my brother to come out of this relation (Divorce) but he is not ready for this. Our concern is that after knowing all these facts, why he is not ready for divorce? How we can make him ready for divorce? Please help us to come out of this situation.

He knows that his wife is not faithful to him. You should discuss with him about it in straight manner provided he is ready. You have to show your eagerness to support him for any extreme decision like divorce. However, if he is not keen to take your support then you have to leave him to fight his own battle after conveying him that you are withdrawing because he does not want your help. I also feel that apart from helping your brother, you seem to have some revengeful attitude towards your bhabhi. Check this feeling too.

Hi dr, I’m loving a girl from last one year. I started loving without seeing her and lately I saw her. She loves me too, and I approached my family regarding this. They are not ready for this relationship, as I have to complete my Engg. and the caste issue. Even her parents were also not agreed initially but now they are ok. Sometimes I feel that I should not get married, as I am not well settled. I need some time. If she continues to talk to me, I feel that I may miss her later on. With this thought I restrict her and she feel bad about it.

First, you have to decide that whether you want to marry her, as you look confused about it. If you want, then whether you can go against your parents wish. If you do, then ask her to keep patience until you finish your study and be self-dependent. However, if you don’t; then have a courage to talk to her about the fact. It may be painful, as all break ups are, but this will prevent future suffering for both of you.

Hi, I am married for 2 years and having 8 months old baby. We don’t have sex; my husband is very lazy to have whenever I want he say, just leave him alone. He smokes cannabis as well. He loves me a lot and I love him a lot too. But I am so worried. About not having sex.pls advice me

Loss of sexual desire may have multiple reasons. In your case his cannabis dependence may be the cause. Long term cannabis use is known to cause amotivational syndrome (what you called laziness) and loss of sexual desire is a part of it.