Sir, I have a friend, his age is 23. He is very nice person. I had some personal experiences in my past. He tried to overcome me from those and he got success in it. Because of it, I have so much trust on him. He can fight for me with anyone. He is so caring. There is an emotional attachment between both of us. Problem is that he has a girlfriend, they love each other. But because of controversy of both families, they scarified their love. Yesterday, the girl got married with some one else as her family wanted. The situation of my friend is very bad. He forced his girlfriend to do this marriage. But these days are very tough time for him. To see his girlfriend in others arms and these set fear. He is very nice person, sir. When I talk to him he says that please leave me alone. I want loneliness only. How can I leave him? In my tough time he was with me. And now, I want to hold his hand, but I can’t understand what I can do for him to overcome this situation. He doesn’t want to share anything with anyone. But I can’t see his situation. Please tell me Sir, what I can do for my sweetest friend. Answer me soon Sir.

Leaving him alone means do not discuss, try to give solace or advise about the issue because males would never prefer this unless they seek such help. Only just be there without talking on that issue. Maintain contact and talk about other issues. He will automatically open on the issue.

My husband struggled a lot in his childhood days. Lost his parents at a young age and became the sole earning member at a tender age. With his hard work and vision, he achieved a professional position that hardly anyone imagines. He is a high rank government officer today. I am totally opposite of what he is I am effervescent, spontaneous and extrovert and he is an introvert. We both love each other and he is quite caring. He is very honest, principled and truthful person. My problem is his negativity. He usually finds fault in everything, particularly things related with me. If I complaint to him about something, he consoles me by justifying others’ behavior. When asked, he says since he considers me as an integral part of his life, he can expect some sacrifices or rather some adjustments only from me and no one else. I am okay with his justification but my problem is why do I have to suffer if he loves only me? His loves gives me criticism, lectures and gyan. Other problem is that he usually holds himself responsible for everything that goes wrong in his family members’ lives. How do I cope up with his temperament where he seems to love only his family members and hates everyone else? Also, he dislikes people who challenge him on anything and tries to prove them wrong and he does it easily coz he is quite well read and usually beats people. Ours is an arranged marriage, I liked him for his simplicity and principles. But I didn’t know that it would take me my lifetime to please him. Being his wife is no more a matter of pride, instead it costs me my happiness as I have to be the prey of his anger that he gets when he sees selfish, culprit people around. I respect him a lot and I am sure he loves me and my 6 months old daughter a lot but how do I make myself submissive to his every move and statement? Moreover, there is another woman officer he seems to admire a lot as she was a primary teacher and worked hard to become a high rank officer! His admiration for her also kills me. Though I know there is nothing between them but he once planned to buy a land in partnership with her and her family. These things upset me immensely and I feel like running away from everyone. Please suggest.

There is nothing wrong with you and how you are tackling the situation. The negativity that he has seems to be integral part of his personality. You may try talking to him in person and make him understand how much it is hampering you. Other than that if you are able to convince him you should take him to a consultant for him to open up and discuss his views freely.

Sir, I am 21 years old boy. I have a fiancée. She trusts me a lot. But I can’t. If she talk with her family brothers also I feel bad. At that time I had a thought that she has any relation with them? Now a day I can’t sleep well. Is any problem with me?

Normally one would not doubt infidelity with brothers. It is likely that you may be suffering from paranoia. Kindly consult Psychiatrist.

Hi, I’ve been seeing one girl for the past year. When we initially got into the relationship we both said it was for fun. But now things have got very serious and her parents want us to get married. The problem is; she has had a very promiscuous past, where she has been sexually active with more than 5 men. I don’t know whether I can deal with this and how to tell my family this?

Both of you were into the relationship for fun, then you need to understand that it cannot go long way. Particularly this is more so when you are aware about her promiscuity. You have to manage your parents, respectively; by whatever way you think the best e.g. faking break up etc. But clear opinion is not to marry with her, husband can never live comfortably with promiscuous wife even if it is her past. You and other readers may find it bitter but this is the fact of life.

My husband is impotent. He doesn’t get an erection at all. What should we do?

Consult Psychiatrist or Urologist nearby.

Hello, my question is that I had a huge fight with my best friend and we just ended our friendship because our family. They don’t like that we talk to each other, my best friend is a girl. Now I don’t know what to do. I really need her and today I am feeling very alone.

Here first you need to set your priority about whom  you wish to please your family or your friend, also you need to have clarity in your mind about your feelings and relation that you are in or expecting it to turn in future based on which you can decide to continue or not. Also about feeling lonely, it is a natural reaction which can be felt by anyone under such circumstance and only time will be able to heal that.

Hello sir. I am 18 years old boy who is suffering from masturbation problem. The problem is that I can’t sleep without doing masturbation. In a day I almost do 3 times. Will you please give any solution to come out from this problem?

You have a problem of compulsive masturbation. You have to practice self-control. If you do not get sleep without masturbation then seek psychiatrist’s consultation.

Sir, I’ve been masturbating from 14. Recently when I had intercourse with my boy friend, I didn’t get pleasure at all. He claimed it should be because of my habit and we broke up after that. Can the habit lead to such effects?

Yes, it may be because of your habit. Habitual female masturbators may have problem of getting an orgasm during the coitus. But there may be other reasons also, like early discharge on your partner’s part.

Hello sir, I’m married women since three years, having a baby boy who is one year old. My husband is in service so we are not living with my in laws. But we used to visit there place every alternate weekends. I and my husband, we both love each other. He is very caring, loves me, adjustable in nature; but my in laws keep interfering in our life. Even in every daily decision. They keep calling us every day and want to control my home. I cope with these situations as much as I can, in 90% cases. But I’m really fed up. My husband respects and loves his parents a lot. I understand every son does this. But now we have family. We have son and I really want to get rid of this problem. Even when my son was born, he wanted to take along my son with them. I took hard words against them then he stopped. I’m worried about future when our son will be older, he will surely make him on his side. They are very clever; they used to take me like a beautiful showpiece in living room. plz advice me what should I do. I have to take some action alone bcoz I know my husband is not going to support me..plz help.

If your husband is loving, caring and adjustable then where is the confusion?! Just talk to him about your worries and concern about their over involvement in your personal life. Any caring husband will think sensibly on the issue. If he does not cooperate then you have to develop an attitude to ignore them in certain interferences. Do not worry about what will happen when your son grows old because they will also grow old and weak. At the same time you need to respect them and involve them in certain important decision of your life. Their experience and attachment for their son will also be helpful in your life.

Dear Doc, I have been married since last 10 months with my long-time girl friend from school days. We had a relationship since school and kept in touch in spite of being in different locations. Long distance relationship lasted for many years and then we finally decided to marry. I was reluctant to marry for another few years but finally gave up on her choice of getting married. Towards the marriage we started developing certain issues and things became a little uncomfortable. I took that just as a temporary feeling and still got married. Now simultaneously around this time of 6 months to 1 year prior to our marriage, I had a good relationship with another female. Which was clear to me as a friendship and I was committed to the person I decided to marry in spite of getting signs that she was very compatible to me and we just had a great feeling for each other and we knew each other since 3 years but the intensity got stronger months before marriage. However as explained, I kept the decision and got married to my long-time school girlfriend. Now after 10 months of marriage, I am discovering that all the problems and strains I had with my long-time school girlfriend turned wife have kept increasing. It seems we were good companions in school but things have moved on since then. I have become a different person and we do not connect on many issues, our choices in life are different, we give priority to different things and our liking for food, people, way of life, happiness are way to different. In the process I have got closer to my girlfriend whom I am very comfortable with. Our feelings match just perfect and we understand each other well and our choices in life complement each other very well. Although she is not in the same town, so I do not see her regularly but our communication is on phone and emails. We only meet once a few months. I am physically attracted to her of course but the mental connect is much stronger and the reason for liking. My wife knows about the strain in our relationship and that we are not happy with each other and the differences we have. She is not aware about my other relationship directly. But she is aware that I like this other girl and am keeping in touch. She does not approve of that and is certainly not happy about it either. She is very possessive and irrational at times about my female friends, just as she was before we got married. I am now at the cross roads to decide what’s next. Should I look at our futures and choose a path to separate us and go our own way. I am quite aware she being a female will have a challenge against her if I decide to separate. So what should be done in order to make sure that the next step I take is not another mistake or action in some pressure like the last time when I got married in spite of a low feeling and not being 100% ready. I look forward to some assistance.

Ten months, is too short time to call off just because you think that you are no more compatible. Friendship and marriage is different ball of game. You really need to give some time for an adjustment, surviving certain teething issues. Differences which you are highlighting now should have thought before you decided to get married. Just make sure that you have someone else on hand and that itself is not making your adjustment worse (by reducing your compromising attitude).