Hello I am 26 and she is 29 we are married for 2 years with hardly any sexual intercourse. My problem is my wife is not accepting my parents, relatives & friends as her own. I am from village and she is from metropolitan. She is always complaining about some or the other things in our home and in our vicinity. Because of this behaviour, I don’t feel like having any type of relationship with her neither physical nor emotional. Is this any way related to not having satisfied intercourse with her? Can having a satisfied sexual intercourse change this behaviour?

Healthy sexual life can change her mood and attitude in a positive manner. However, it cannot change her prejudices towards your people. For that matter, both of you have to talk with an open mind and in a considerate way.

I love my wife whole heartedly, but my problem was I am always suspecting her without any cause. I want to see her happy. Please suggest.

If you want to see her happy then work out on your suspiciousness. Are you suspicious by nature or obsessed with that?
Your acceptance that you doubt unnecessarily, is a first step towards solution. So go ahead, analyse your thoughts for further improvement. You may take psychiatrist’s help.

Hi Doctor. First of all I would like to mention that you are doing a wonderful job by providing solutions to everybody’s problems. I had shared my problem with you earlier also. I am married for 1 ½ years with a 6 months baby. I had certain issues with my husband and in laws in the past. They couldn’t provide me emotional support during my pregnancy. The outcome of which was that we fought a lot & I came to my parents for 1 month. I only initiated to go back thinking about me and my kid’s future. As advised by you I have started financially contributing as asked by my father in law. You also advised me to give sometime to my husband as my relation with my in laws seem to be on track but my hubby was very cold towards me and needed sometime to come back. It has been 2 months now since I came back .His attitude towards me is now changing for good but when it comes to physical, it is practically absent. We didn’t have any physical relation for last one year. I have given him hints many a times directly or indirectly by saying things like we are not living a normal husband and wife relation but according to him everything is fine. He doesn’t discuss about when we should start having relation. He doesn’t even kiss me. When I talk about that he says we will do it and I am not comfortable with the baby in the same room. We can go to other room for that. He said that quite sometime back. Afterwards I didn’t discuss anything. I don’t want to discuss it again and again. I also feel uncomfortable and don’t want to give him any impression that I am desperate for it. It’s just that I am scared that if it continues like that it will never happen. He doesn’t have any disease but he is stressed because of work pressure. This pressure will remain forever because his job is like that even if he changes his job. When I feel frustrated I start nagging and that upsets him a lot and on which he says that you are always complaining. I feel unwanted and when I repeatedly tell him this, he tells me that it is your problem and that he feels things are improving. He gives his love to his parents and kid but I am yet to create a place in his heart. I don’t know what to do? How long should I wait? How do I control myself from not complaining? If I wait patiently would he come back to me? What kind of attitude shall I have towards him? Please advice.

It seems that he is taking a sort of revenge by depriving you sexually and emotionally. Stop asking for sex and stop nagging too. Try to overcome your frustration by doing some meaningful activities or job. If you can keep yourself happy and busy in your own activities then he will automatically try to seek your attention and care. At that time, do not rush to please him but let him realize your worth. You have to keep good amount of patience for this.

I am 21 yr old. My penis is small as compare to others only about 1 inch and after erection it will only 1 and half inch. I fear about my sex life. Will I be able to have sex with girl? Sir, pls suggest what should I do for enlarge the length of my penis. Is there any medicine to increase the length of penis or some type of physical exercise is needed to enlarge the penis. Is there is any treatment to solve this problem. I read 3 yrs before in the newspaper that a person suffering from small penis whose penis was enlarge after surgery by Russian Doctor, but it took 6 mths. Should I go for surgery or any other treatment? Should vacuum pump for penile exercise treatment will help to increase the length of my penis.

Length of penis has more impact on individual’s psyche than sexual life. Sexual satisfaction depends more on quality of the act than length of penis (if length is so important to females then they would have preferred artificial penis then males!). There is no medicine or device for increasing the length of penis, it is natural. All advertise regarding this, is cheating. Surgery is very occasional option and that too if it is jointly advised by Psychiatrist and Urologist.

I got married to my husband ten years back. It was more or less a love marriage. He is 37 and I am 30. Since last 2yaers I am having a problem with him as he is not interested in having sex with me much. I feel dejected. And he is trying to have relationship with other ladies (only through phone conversation). Every time I have caught him but then he will apologize and then again with the other woman he restarts it. Just recently I caught him having sexual chats on his mobile .when asked he is telling this is something very common most of men do chat. But when asked about sexual chat, he is telling I have lost interest in sex; now by doing this I am trying to regain it back .do you think that it is ok? pls tell me ? I am not able to trust him at all after all this but for my 5 yr old son I am keeping quiet. He is telling me not to ask him anything as it makes him feel embarrassed. I am not able to take things that light. I am not able to tell my family about it as it may hurt them. Give me a solution on this pls.

I do not think that by doing this anyone can get his interest back in sexual life with wife. Probably he is addicted to such talks and things may be beyond this. If he says he is embarrassed doing this then ask him to see a psychiatrist. If he is really embarrassed and want to come out of this, he will be ready to take help. Otherwise, just think that he is making excuses and is cheating on you.

Respected sir, I’m a big fan of yours, I also read your articles. I also came to your clinic and met you. After few days I’ll get married (arrange marriage) my fiancé lives in Bangalore, he is a computer engineer. He told me he has headache still 1 year. He thinks that something is there in his brain, and because of this he has headache. For that he did all test like CT scan and blood test, all are normal. But still he complains. He also told me that before 1 year he has depression for due to job, so he visited a psychiatrist, and he suggested the tablet sertaline and the doctor told him that, “you have obsessive compulsive disorder, and take this tablet for 6 months” but my fiancé doesn’t take these tablets .Now he has no depression after our engagement but he still complains of headache. Now what can we do? I want to meet you, is it true that these are symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder? He is very stubborn. Please give me suggestion.

There are plenty causes of headache. Most common amongst them are Vascular headaches, Depression, muscle contraction headache, infective causes etc. Normal CT scan usually rules out serious causes. Consult Psychiatrist / Neurologist.

I m 24yr old and married newly, my problem is that my penis size is too short and my wife cant get satisfaction, please look into this matter, and reply as soon as possible.

Size of penis is male’s obsession. In fact, it is not size but art of making love is giving more satisfaction to female. Did your wife told you that she is not getting satisfaction because of small penis or it is your assumption. Try to engage more in foreplay and remove unnecessary concern about the size. There is no medicine or method by which you can increase the size of penis. If any one claim to increase it’s size by anything, he is a quack.

Am 23yr, married girl. So far, I did not allow my partner to keep his penis inside my vagina. We always rub it on the clitoris. It’s giving pleasure. We both are enjoying it. I want to know whether keeping penis inside the vagina will be painful. Will it give pleasure?

It may cause mild pain for initial few occasions. More you relax less will be the pain. It is more pleasurable than what you are doing right now.

Dr. I have a girl friend since three yrs. & now we are married. It’s been 15 days that we have got married but still we have no sexual or physical relation. So I want to know how I can prepare my wife for having a relation. Are there any tablets or any powder available in market of Lucknow which I can give her in water, juice or any other drink, or do you have any other suggestion, and then please tell me?

Come on you cannot do this to anyone. Instead, create romance in your relationship. Show your feelings, warmth and care towards her. Finally communicate with her about sexual relationship.

Dear Doctor, I urgently need your valuable advice. Please help me out sir. Before I share my problem with you I would like to tell you that I’m highly impressed by the advice you gave me about 2 months ago. It seems to be working out. Thanks sir. Today I’m approaching you with another problem with a lot of confidence that things will be on the right track. It has been 4 yrs for my marriage; we have a child of 3 yrs. I’m a postgraduate holder, was working for a reputed company but was asked to leave my job after birth of my child. My husband loves me a lot (he refuses to have sexual relations with me for the past 3yrs due to the below mentioned criticism by his mother) but more than me he loves his mother. He easily gets influenced with whatever she tells him. So much so he tends to hate the people, whom she complains to have troubled / hurt her. She mostly complains about my mother, she is highly superstitious, following customs are a must for her. She has extremely high expectations from others (perfectionist), which I believe is the root cause of all problems. Her constant complains about my fly has created hatred in the heart of my husband too for my mother. He once happened to use foul language to my mother following which my parents have decided never to step into my in-laws house unless & until my husband apologizes for the same (this happened 2 yrs ago). As a result even I’m not permitted to visit my parents since 2 yrs. But despite this my father visited us some months ago but they still insist that my mother visit them. When my mother got to know this she was upset that my father visited me without telling her about it by then she too had decided to forget the past & visit us all. On one occasion my husband called my father on his mobile twice, where my mother answered the call. Hearing her voice my husband cut the line. This depressed my mother a lot & she has now decided NEVER NEVER to step into my in-laws house. She has now changed her decision forever. I am longing to spend time with my parents, I love both the families, and I cannot afford to lose either of them. I feel very jealous when I see my in-laws playing with my child. I think about my parents a lot. I miss them a lot. I’m longing to see them. My mother tells me that I’m too mild & that my in-laws are taking the upper hand. This is true that I obey & respect my in-laws a lot. My relatives laugh at the way I behave, they are all telling me to boldly tell my in-laws that “I’m going to see my parents along with my child” but I have a fear of losing my husband who loves me so much, I have a fear of losing this good fly. At times I do think of leaving both the families & staying somewhere else with my child, as I find that either of the families are not prepared to give up their ego for my sake. Would this be a right decision? What do I do sir?? Please tell me the way I should behave. Is my behaviour right / wrong? Please get me out of this problem sir. Please….please…..

Thank you so much for appreciating my efforts.
Freedom is one of the prime virtues of love. Unfortunately, you do not have it and you still feel that your husband loves you a lot! I do not know what your ideas about love are but for me it definitely includes freedom of expression, understanding, consideration, sacrifice and lot more. Try to put forward your feelings about the whole issue without blaming or accusing any one. Make him aware about your attachment to your parents (that any child would have for his/her parents). Any loving husband will understand this provided it is properly conveyed in non aggressive way. At the same time you should also convey that as grand parents they have equal rights and desires to spend some time with grand children, in an assertive but non aggressive way. Rather than trying to patch up between them, try shift your focus on your duties towards your parents. You owe some duties towards your parents and you are going to fulfil that without bringing other issues in the way, you should make this thing very clear to him in very polite but firm way.