I am married, 30yrs guy having 2kids. My relation with my wife was not good even after 7 yrs of our marriage. But from last three yrs I am in love with someone else and our understandings and all are also good after knowing all about each other. And we have decided to spend rest of our life together in any other country. But now a day my wife is completely changed and she has started, in fact not started but showing that she loves me and cares for me. But today I don’t have feelings of love towards her. Now tell me what should I do? I am in very critical situation. Please help.

If you do not have feelings left for her then why should you remain confused? I think, there is something still left between both of you which is pulling you. Try to find out what is that and then take your decision. Also take your two children and issues related to them into consideration.

Dear Doc, I got married 1 month back. On my first wedding night I could not have intercourse with my wife as she felt pain whenever I tried to penetrate her. Besides this I felt her vagina too tight despite enough fore play. Even after that night we had failed attempts due to same reason. I took her to a gynecologist. Dr said everything was normal. After that I faced premature ejaculations and loss of erection. Now she is not with me but I keep judging my erection as I suspect it is not same as before marriage and the reason of failed sex. I visited psychiatrist, he told me to keep the things out of mind, and consultation with wife. Can I recover and have successful married and sexual life. Please help. Thanks in advance.

You do not seem to have any sexual problem. Your sexual troubles are making you anxious. Just take it easy and relax yourself, everything is going to be alright with continuing sexual activities.

Hi, I am 27 Years old unmarried boy living alone in Mumbai due to my job. My parents stay at their native place far away. When I was less than 3 years old, I was sexually harassed by my own cousin around 15 years elder to me. This continued for long and slowly I got involved in it by my own will. However, it was not regular and used to happen once in months. When he got married, it didn’t happened again. I started feeling attracted for men rather than girls during these events. I grew up and felt quite ashamed of the past. I felt my behaviour too had that impact of liking men over girls. I tried my best to change and to some extent I got successful. Past 5-6 years, I feel my liking for girls have increased, but its somewhere looks like a pressurized feeling. I want to get married, have kids and lead a normal man’s life. I still feel attracted to men, but do not want to go that way at all. My personal choice has to be linked only to 1 girl, my wife. Physically, I am fit; I get full erection and can masturbate for long without any concerns. But, is this a good criterion to decide? But I really feel scared, that I will be able to justify my love for my wife. Whether, all will go fine after marriage or not. I can’t take risk of risking a girl’s life just like that. Please help me find out what usually happens in such cases. Will I ever be able to come out of this? The very thought of a failure in marriage kills me. It’s a suicidal feeling. Waiting for your reply. Please mail me your contact details, want to talk to you personally.

Homosexuality is deep rooted problem. You have to seek professional help to overcome it. Consult nearby Psychiatrist or go for online therapy. My contact no. is +91 98259 20555/ Email: malefemale.in1@gmail.com

Dear Sir, I am in affair with a girl who is 24 currently. Our affair is their since last 2 years. However, the problem is both of our families are against our relationship. We want to marry each other. We both are from different cast and religions. I am a Maharsahtrain Hindu and she is Guj Jain. Not only cast comes in middle our physical nature also is a problem. She is taller than me, I am m 5.1 ft tall and she is around 5.4 ft. So please guide what to do as none of our family members are on our side. However, we love each other and want to marry

Caste is one factor on which parents do not compromise easily, once objected. However, you may keep on convincing them and showing your firmness about getting married. Height is not an issue so far it is acceptable to both of you. It is your understanding and love for each other that matters, physical appearance is secondary.

Sir.have been married for 10 months now. My husband & i were seeing each other for 2yrs before marriage. Had intimate physical relation,incuding oral sex and mastubrating together. SEX never. Now also we get excited but when it comes to penetration, i cant bear the pain.am all excited and wet during 4play but when it comes to penetration i tense up. have seen gynae. Says am normsl. Seen psychologist, says RELAX. I know all that. Also been told that this could be an effect of value syatems etc. Point is i know everything but implementation of relaxation etc is just not happening.Am a well qualified, open minded woman,but when it comes to relaxing during the most natural act of life, i aM UNSUCCESSFUL. Hubby is a loving and patient man.His opinion is that i dont care for sex, but then why do i get aroused at all. Please help me save my marriage

I think, you are having unconscious fear of penetration or of pain during the penetration. Almost 20 to 30 percent of women have this fear. I understand your anxiety over the issue but let me tell you very basic thing about the solutions of sexual problems. Get relaxed first, so far you remain tense your problem is going to worsen. Penetration can be more painful while you are tense as it causes spasms of vaginal muscles, unconsciously. .Second thing is you need to have patience because it may take some time and efforts from both of you. Your husband may start with his fingers or dilators (available in medical stores) and once you are comfortable, may attempt penetration (after days or weeks). He should not escape from working towards solution by saying he does not care for sex.You may take help of good romantic background music and/or some erotic movies to divert your attention from pain or fear of penetration. You may reduce your anxiety by dreaming up your excitement through imagination.

I m very depressed, because I feel uneasy in crowd. I do not know what to say in front of crowd. I m m.tech student so I have to face group discussions and interviews. However, because of my weakness, I find it very difficult to say. Because of this, I was rejected for sixth time in-group discussion today. Sir please helps me.

Your problem is Social Phobia. It is one type of anxiety Disorder in which person feels uncomfortable in others presence, particularly in crowd, social gatherings, meetings etc. Treatment requires analysis, anxiety reducing medicines, psychotherapy and relaxation practices. You may consult psychiatrist in person or may try online therapy.

I am in love with girl whom I meet on internet since last 2 years. She is 5 yrs younger than me. We are staying in different cities and keep in touch via mobile and internet. We meet 4 times and had sexual relationship. Recently she moved to panipat to pursue her internship. She got help for her senior working there. Initially he asked her to come to him on the first Sunday on panipat. She does not think much went with him. On that day I was travelling by train. She told me that she is going with her senior for a dinner- which I took casually. They went to a mall and a park, walk n talk and went for dinner. Next day he started calling her after she arrived from office. First day she told me in a shaky voice that he called her, I became suspicious. She was staying late in the office and that guy started dropping her. This goes on for a week. On the next Sunday I told her frankly that I don’t like this whole thing, then she also confessed that they also went to a mall and park besides dinner- I was shocked felt bad, she told I was travelling and didn’t want to bother me. She said sorry for this. Then onwards she stopped picking up his calls and after few days he asked her directly about what’s going on? She directly told him that she is not comfortable in this whole thing and her Bf (ie Me) does not like this. He also agreed. After that he stopped calling her at night. She also used to come with her friends early from office in auto. Now that guy behaved strangely with her and I still feel bad about the whole thing. I still hate her for going out with that stranger. Please suggest

It is ok that she went out with him once. More important is she informed him that she is engaged and you do not like her to be in relation with him. In a way he is dumped before he gets into it fully. Naturally, he will behave weirdly. The whole event concludes that she prefers you over him, then why to hate her for mistake done unknowingly!

I have separated from my husband recently. My daughter, who is four and half years old, suddenly has to cope with many changes. I have shifted to my parents’ house. Here, she has to adjust with her grandparents and a new locality where she has no friends. Tell me as to what should be my attitude towards her? How can I inculcate good values in her in the little time we have without her feeling neglected and also without spoiling or pampering her?

Since you have not mentioned about the reason of separation from your husband and also about the attachment of the child with the father, it becomes little difficult to talk. However, since she is at a malleable age, it should not be very difficult for her to adjust to this new environment until and unless she is extremely hurt or affected by the separation. There will be teething problems that will have triumph over time. You will have to be very supportive but firm with her so that she does not take the sympathetic advantage of the situation. Every child knows basic good values and they are not taught they are learnt on their own so one just has to be a good example to them.

Sir, My age is 35. During sleep I have an erection and as I wake up it ends within 30-45 seconds. Is it some disease or problem? I am worried about it.

Erection during sleep is normal. All males are experiencing it.  Do not pay attention to this.

Hi, I am married from last 2 years. I had a love marriage and just blessed with a daughter. Soon after my delivery my husband started behaving so differently, when I tried to ask him, he always said give me some times everything will be fine soon. But now he said he had lost every interest from the family. He doesn’t need anyone in the family and want to stay alone. I am trying to know the reason but he says that it is his problem nothing happened and no one is responsible. I tried to counsel him a lot but failed. Can any psychiatrist solve this problem or can understand his problem.

Is he happy with a female child? This could be one possible reason for his disinterest. Usually when men are in problem, they wish to be left alone so if he is insisting to be left alone then give him some time. Psychiatrist can definitely help, provided he is ready to go to him.