Sir , I read your articles. I like them.I have confusion about obsessive compulsive disorder. I notice that I am little bit suffering from OCD. How to treat ?

Obsessive compulsive disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. You need to consult a psychiatrist for final diagnosis and treatment options available as per your case.

I am basically worried about size of my penis. It is around 3 inches in length and 3 inches in diameter when shrunk. It is around 5+ inches in length and 4 inches in diameter when erect. I was addicted to masturbation for quite long and used to do it multiple times a day. So with the dimensions given above about my penis, will I able to satisfactorily perform sexually?

Average penis length (flaccid/not erect): from 3.4 inches to 3.7 inches (8.6 cm to 9.3 cm). Average penis length (erect): from 5.1 inches to 5.7 inches (12.9 cm to 14.5 cm). Average penis girth (circumference when erect): from 3.5 inches to 3.9 inches (8.8 cm to 10 cm). These numbers are obviously very different from the sizes we hear (and see) in adult movies, and even the kinds of numbers you read on line. Female’s sexual satisfaction does not depend on penile length. It depends upon your love & affection for her, quality of intimate moments, warmth in relationship and lots of other nonsexual factors.

If he agrees to come then you should consider that he also feels that this is a problem, but if he does not agree then it is not a problem for him. In that case you need to find out if you wish to continue this relationship in the same given scenario. As the chances of him changing are very low as the friendship that you consider as problem that needs a solution, is not vital or problem for him.

Hello Sir, We are in a relationship from last 2yrs. And I am Maharashtrian boy n love a jain girl. My parents are ready for our marriage but biggest problem is her parents. They r very orthodox ppl. She is trying to convince them from last one year but no positive response. Also the topic starts once i.e. only one day n then it stops other day. In last one year it just happened for 4 times. She doesn’t have any support from her family. Her father is very short tempered. Her mother supports her a little. She is very depressed because of this. Her parents’ r not willing to meet me or my parents. So, do u think even though her parents r not ready to meet my parents, should my parents meet her parents? But what if they speak rudely n bad words n d situation gets spoiled? She has strong support from my family n I don’t want to spoil that. They r emotionally blackmailing her. She is firm enough to marry me but she also wants her parents’ agreement on our marriage and this is not very possible. She has tried each n every way of making her parents understand. Now even my parents are pressuring on getting us married. We r very much confused. Her caste is such that that even the ppl in her relation would speak ill about her n her parents. Marrying me would b little difficult for her parents too but then every one accepts it. But this is d reason she doesnt want to run away n marry bcos of her narrow-minded family bcos they will talk so much non-sense. On the other hand if we marry in a festive manner so people will speak but not much. also they dont have to live shamefully for sum months. Please help us out. Should v wait for some more time? Should I go n meet his parents? Should our parents meet? We don’t think running away is a good idea and we want that it should happen love cum arranged marriage. Pls sir pls help us. The situation is so much bad. Please advice us. Please.

Any one, you or your parents; going to her parents should be mentally prepared to take an insult from them. If you are not, then do not go to talk to them.  If they behave in insulting way and if you are not prepared to take that, then it will generate bitterness in your relations.
If you are not in favor of running away, then it is a game of patience and firmness on either side. Who so ever keep more patience and show more firmness will win. During this waiting period both of you should be integrated and should not succumb to any pressure tactics, may be emotional or physical.
You can not wait endlessly. You may give dead line to them so that they will be pressurized to take some decision.
Caste and relatives can not be pleased, any way!

My 26 year old son told us he’s gay a year ago. My wife and I do not have a problem in accepting him as he is. We still love him. He wants us to talk more openly about it at home and with friends. He also wants to meet with a psychiatrist in India. Can you suggest a psychiatrist in Delhi and Coonoor (Nilgiris)? Thanks.

Dr. Sunil Mittal, Delhi

Sir I am working in AVVNL as a JEN. I get puzzled in every small problem. Some times I become unconscious and get frustrated. When I was studying in BE I got nervous by exam and by the standard of study. My parents did not want to make me far. They call me in small period of time with very curiosity. For every type of work they ask me detail like, why I go there, where I pass 5 min time also. I forget my self some time or my work which I have been told. Please suggest me.

Your parents seem to be over caring about you, also they want you to be in front of them always due to which you have developed anxiety in you, which may be the reason for you to not being able to deal with your daily stress, leading to frustrations. This might have got interwoven with your personality hence I suggest psychiatric consultation for further help.

Hi! I am now engaged. I have done sex with my wife. She is 16yrs.But she has not bleed during first time, so I guess that she might have done sex with others. She is also dancer, Is bleeding necessary when we do sex for the first time. I want to go for medical examination for her. Is there any medical report possible to tell me that she have done sex with others? Please write me early. I am very much tense. Thanks

It is a false belief that woman should bleed on her first intercourse, if she does not then she had it in past. Truth is, many women do not bleed on first sexual act, more so in case of dancers. You should not suspect that your wife must have had sexual relation with someone else because she has not bleed.

Hi Sir. I had a relation with an 18 year old girl who proposed me in January ’08. Since then we both loved each other very much. Our parents knew about our relationship. We enjoyed our best each of the romantic moments of our life. Even we were involved in physical relation several times and she gave her everything without any inertness. But unexpectedly on 5th August ’09 she told me that she loves someone else and she married him that day. Later I have known that the relation with him was growing for the last 2 months and the guy knew everything about our relationship. Now I want to know was she normal or a psycho patient. Will they be happy? Should I tell this to my would-be wife?

She is a cheat. Consider that you are saved for rest of your life. Any girl having active physical relationship and simultaneously involved in serious relationship with someone else is not trustworthy. She is not worth remembering, thank God and move on in life.

Dear Dr. I have got married in Nov. 2008; initially our physical relations were very good. But one day I failed in performance. After some time everything went normal. Again after some time I failed. Now this is increasing day by day. I have got a performance anxiety. As every time I try to get physical, initially everything is normal but suddenly it comes to my mind about the earlier failed attempt. I am feeling helpless. Kindly suggest what to do.

Occasional failures in sexual acts are normal. You have rightly said that you have developed performance anxiety. This is what exactly happens in such type of cases. You need to relax about your performance and spend (or divert) more time in foreplay.

Dear Sir, Its 5 years that we are married but since the birth of our daughter (4 years) my husband refuses to have sex with me. When I asked him the reason he says that he doesn’t like my behavior, the way I react when I am corrected. Dr for all these years I have somehow managed to stay without a physical relationship but things are getting worse for me. He does not even talk properly to me, does not spend time with me he is a businessman by profession. At times I feel probably stree is keeping him away from me. I cry throughout the night. I’m just fed up. I crave for his love & affection. How do I get my husband back? I really love him a lot. Please help me sir, please. It’s a long time now. I have not enjoyed my married life at all. He also tells me at times that his parents are not happy with the effort I’m putting in managing the home & that too makes him stay away from me. What’s the exact problem Dr I need your urgent help. I shall be ever grateful to you. Thanks Dr.

He seems to be exploiting you on your sexual desire. This is how he might be pressurizing you to change the way he wants. If you think that you need to improve your behaviour then work in that direction. At the same time stop demanding or craving for his love or sex. Let him become impatient about why you have stopped craving for sexual relationship. He might be involved somewhere is also a possibility.