Sir, I go through your website and your valuable advice. Thanks for all your assistance. My problem is I’m confused. I am in love with a guy and ours is a distant relationship. I am a Hindu and he is a Muslim. I am 28years old and he is 32years old. We met a year back. Initially both of us were friends but later he confessed his love for me and after 2 months of his confession I have accepted his love. He has 2elder sisters and 1younger sister. We happen to meet last year December where he told me that he wants to marry me. He said he started to work from the age of 14 and he is very tired of taking all the family responsibilities, and once he gets his sister married he said that we will get married and he asked me to wait for an year (as his parents wouldn’t agree to our wedding and he needs to leave the family if he is with me) That year of time will end in June 2010. Here is the problem, now his father is not ready to spend dowry on his sister, and my guy doesn’t have enough money (dowry demand is 50lakh) to spend for his sister. My guy’s father is not thinking of getting her daughter married. When we met last time, which was in October, he told me you have to wait as long till my sister gets married even it means for another 2years. But Doctor, I can’t wait so long. My parents want me to get married; moreover I feel I need someone to share my life with. Which he also feels. But he tells me that in fact both of us should sacrifice our likes for his family responsibility. Whereas, I’m telling him to understand things from my perspective. I told him that even I need him to share my life and start a family, but he is not agreeing for it. I told him I’ll wait till the end of 2010 but if his sister doesn’t get married even by then, I told him that we need to get married. But he is not agreeing to it. He says I’m selfish. I say I’m not selfish. I tell him the way he thinks that his sister should have a family why doesn’t he feel the same about me. Even I am a woman…When I talk this way he gets angry and irritated. He says I’m not understanding him…Please help me how should I convey to him that even I want to share my life with him…and start a family…and we are responsible only to certain extent towards his family responsibility.. Please doctor, please help me how should I convey to him that “he should also think of me and him, and about we together starting a family” Please help me.

If he really wishes to marry you then he should tell this to his parents. He has to tell them that he is going to marry you by the end of this year, by that time they should get her sister married. If they don’t, then they have to bear the consequences. This will put pressure on his father to get her daughter married. Or otherwise you have to start withdrawing yourself, this may put indirect pressure on him to become active rather than just passively waiting for his sister’s marriage.