Respected Sir, Thank you very much for all the advices you gave me last time. Just to reiterate my past details – My dad’s addiction to alcohol and abusive character which lead to domestic violence against my mom. I had Strange and lifeless childhood. Dad’s life with his second wife is also not fine. He never respects anyone and believes in breaking off relations. No one can stay longer with him. Now, I am 28 years old female, looking forward to settle down in life. I want to get married and start a new life altogether. My father didn’t show any interest in my marriage and really not make any effort. Finally, recently my marriage got fixed. But broke off because I made a discussion with my, would be husband that – “I might be required to support my father’s family financially because I have some commitments. This will be for some time till I get rid of the loans, as my dad will take care of them later.” The boy’s mom came to us saying this is not acceptable to us. I have been taking care of my family’s major financial burden till now. My brother is earning little. My sis is still unemployed. Other 3 siblings are studying. Now the problem is, no one is ready to make an effort to earn better. I have a home loan done for my dad, and many other small loans till now. I feel burdened as to how will I take care of all this. They are not ready to relieve me completely from this financial burden. Hence I discussed this with my hubby that I might be required to support my dad. But it seems like he and his family is also eyeing my income which I too didn’t like. I don’t want my husband to depend on me financially. The marriage got broken. Dad wants me to support the family even after marriage. I know it’s my prime duty and I will, but I feel burdened. He is not giving me the right picture as to how will I be relieved in future. I discussed to relieve me but no answer. He is very keen on making properties, but I refused to support him this time because I am already overburdened with many loans. We don’t have money to do a marriage but he says I will take care. If I give my income to my own family, I know that my relation with my husband and his family will be strained. For everything I will have to beg them. I don’t want that. And I will have to think about my future and expenses as well. On the other hand I don’t want to marry a guy who is eyeing my income. I am disillusioned. It feels sad that marriage broke just for money matter. Is it a big thing to say that I want to support my dad after marriage also? My dad forced me to speak about these financial aspects to the boy. At least while going forward, I want to refine and change my approach towards life. What should I do? Should I support my family after marriage or my husband? I feel like leaving everything and go away far from my family. Let them become independent in life without me. But I feel bad for my siblings as to how will they manage finances. On the other end, my marriage will be broken if I continue doing this. Other side is – no one will sustain with my dad’s attitude and behavior with the parties. Ruthless, demanding and he tries to put all burden on them till they take it. He tries to squeeze them till the max level. I am also thinking to search a boy for me on my own. But fear that for all the marriage ceremony, I will depend on my family members. Who will take care of all this? Will I get a well cultured person, if I start searching on my own all alone? What to do? Should I discuss these problems from the core to my future hubby? Will he support me? It Feel`s strange because he might reject me just because of my family history. Thanks and great day!

You cannot go on supporting your alcoholic father endlessly, at some point you have to put your foot down and let him realize that you will not be there always to shoulder his responsibilities. Rather than depending on your family, start searching for a boy on your own. Also just make your would be husband aware of your financial responsibilities and not about your family history in detail. Also make it very clear with your father that you will support him for initial 3-4 months after your marriage, after that he needs to manage on his own.