Respected Sir, I am a 24 year old female in relation with a man of 29 since past 8 years and all these 8 years I had been trusting him more than myself.He pretended as if he is not interested in girls except me and that made me love him more than anybody I was even ignoring my parents and career for him .He is very possessive, doesn’t let me wear short cloths or speak to any guy and as far as I know he too doesn’t interact with girls or have any friend in girl. But recently I have discovered that he used to watch porn sites live cam girls and fashion TV through his friends and all. I am totally broken down I tried ending up my life. I can’t sleep eat or do anything. He says that he is sorry. When I asked him why did he lie that he is not interested in girls for that he says that in real life there is no girl in his life except me. What he saw was on the screen and there is difference watching on screen and real life. But what am I wondering is that can a person who is truly committed and loves truly do this? Can a true lover be attracted to see other nude females on screen? I feel ditched and feels that he doesn’t love me .I have lost all the feeling. I just keep crying that how could he do that to me as we loved each other very much. He used to say that if I won’t marry him he will not marry any other girl but I feel it was all a lie because when he can be so desperate to see other nude females in spite of having sex with me over the phone regularly when I am away, such a person can’t love truly. It’s me who still feels that I won’t be able to go in another man’s arms. Sir I am really depressed. The moment I see any girl whether on TV or real life I feel like killing that girl I feel my boyfriend would be interested to see that girl’s genitals. Earlier when I used to masturbate I used to fantasize him and me. Now I am not able to connect my boyfriend with me in fantasy. I mean I cannot even fantasize any other men with me. The strange part is that I fantasize my boyfriend with other females and masturbate. I mean I think I am getting mad. Sir I feel that when he craves to see other females nude he must be fantasizing them with himself then how can such a man love me? In real life too he would then easily slip for any women because I never feel like seeing other nude men neither I had ever been able to fantasize other men except him. I loved him madly. We had planned to marry this year we had dreamt the whole life ,kids together ,and suddenly the whole world of mine turned upside down .How could he do this to me? Doesn’t he love me? Or is this act of watching ftv and other nude females on sites normal? Can a true lover do this? Sir kindly help I am getting mad. Can I get his polygraph test done? Please suggest good psychiatrist in Kolkata and centre where I can get his polygraph test done as I don’t trust him any more. Neither can I live without him.

From your description what I guess is, he might be having voyeurism. It is one kind of sexual deviation, in which person gets sexual pleasure by viewing woman’s sexual parts, erotic pictures, movies etc. Almost all males are voyeur to some extent but some of them are addicted to it. He is amongst the one who might be addicted. These addicted males keep on watching, collecting and storing pornographic materials in different forms. Many women are very sensitive about men’s habit of looking at pornographic materials and feel neglected. Stop becoming hyper on this but you should leave this topic with a note that you do not like his habit. You have to understand that this is like other habits (Smoking, Alcohol etc.), more you nag more it worsens. Do not think that his habit is because of some inadequacies on your part.