I have been married since one and a half year and we are blessed with a 5 months old boy. I am working. It was an arranged marriage and for three months things were going smooth. Since the time I got pregnant I became over sensitive and moody. I was also advised bed rest so could not work even after staying home. My in laws cared for me but I and my husband started fighting very frequently. He could not understand my behaviour though I told him that these things happen during pregnancy. Things got worse. His parents called my parents and started complaining about me like I don’t work or I stay aloof and the home atmosphere and their health is getting disturbed because of me. I didn’t get any emotional support from my husband. He is the only child and is too attached to his parents. He could never bring me up to their level. Things were up and down. When we had the baby I was not allowed to go to my parents for 3 months because according to them it was very cold. The day when I was supposed to go my parents, I and my husband fought and they called my parents. I stayed at my parents for 1and a half month. My husband neither came to meet us nor even called for 15 days. I only initiated talking and went back. I am with them since last 15 days. Now I started working again. I tried to recover and am working very hard to please everybody. I am working on my toes since morning to evening, managing work, baby and house also. Everything is superficially fine but my husband is too cold and formal towards me. We didn’t have relation for last one year. He seems to be not interested. I feel unwanted and insecure. Tried telling him but he says he has some issues in job front and needs some time to come back but I am loosing patience. Firstly he doesn’t have time for me and secondly whenever I try communicating with him, he reacts. I fear that he is absent in my life now and probably when he wants to come back it will be too late. Secondly I am exerting so much to please my in laws that my health will suffer badly. But I can’t demand a maid because they are completely against the concept of keeping maid. How should I please my husband and in laws without getting physically and mentally affected? Thirdly my father in law is asking me to contribute money for the house without letting my husband know. He says that his son will not ask for money as you have ego issues and he shall only tell him at the right time. What should I do?

It is unfortunate that they could not understand and support you during your pregnancy. Give some more time to your husband. Do not go out of the way to please him or his parents, otherwise they would demand more attention. Fulfill your duties honestly without seeking their appreciation and wait for some more time. I do not think you can do anything more than this at present. There is nothing wrong in contributing financially but your husband should be aware about it. If he has ego problem as said by your father in law then you tell him that you want to contribute by your own wish but at least he should be aware.