I have been married for 5 years and have a 2 year old child. I have a very happy married life otherwise. I come from a much protected family where I have an older brother and parents taking care of me all the time, especially emotionally. My family is also very expressive and outspoken. Although it’s exact opposite in case of my husband, they do not talk about emotions. My husband is not at all expressive in nature. At the early stage in marriage I realized this but it did not bother me much but now it does a lot, it is actually hampering my day to day activities. I don’t get emotional support from him. I feel stressed all the time. He does not even touch me, or kiss me or hug me gently during the day except otherwise when we are having sex. He is not loving and caring and romantic. He does care for me but keeping a distance from me. He is a gem of a person. He does not force me for anything, gives me my space, freedom, great with my child. I did talk to him about this saying ’I need a hug from you If you see me upset or if I cry’ he temporarily follows and then forgets to do that. He did not even wish me on my last birthday saying ‘you were not in mood, you were upset’ I was upset because he did not take me in his arms and wished me. I told him that later and he felt sad. But all in vein. He is just not that protective of me, and I miss that. Lately I feel so vulnerable that I am getting attracted to a guy at work. He followed me everywhere and stared at me. And now I feel I could have a small encounter with him not disturbing my marriage. I don’t want to end my marriage but there is no excitement, romance left. I told him we live like roommates. Both of us have so much space for each other that we don’t feel like connected inside. Please advice how should I get out of this frustration.

He is a different type of guy then you, who does not express his feelings in warm ways. Does he enjoy your emotional expressions? If he does then things are slightly easy for you. Try to explain him that it is your internal desire and you are feeling extremely uncomfortable with out it. Keep on reminding him the same. Express yourself exactly the same way you want him to express and keep on giving him an example. You may honestly tell him about your leaning towards a guy who shows such care and concern. This may take time but your continuous efforts in this direction may give you some results.