I have a serious problem. I had an arranged marriage. Somehow I had a strong feeling that this guy was not interested in marriage. However, since our horoscopes matched both families went ahead. In fact I tried convincing my family and even asked him about it. But he said he was interested. Before fixing the marriage I had expressed my desire to continue my job that I had and they said they do not have any problem regarding that. Now both of us were working in call centers and that was one other reason for me to agree since both would leave at the same time and come back at the same time. But after marriage everything turned topsy-turvy. He had problems with my job. He said I need to work only for day shift so that I can be with his mother. I would have agreed had he been caring towards me. After marriage during the initial days at least the husband will show some interest in wife. But he never used to come to me. Even while leaving for job he would never tell me. Then we had big argument with him and his family for keeping my jewellery with his sister. Eventually I had to agree for sometime. Then I insisted to keep my jewellery in bank locker but he wanted to keep it under his name. Finally they agreed to keep it under joint account. Later the same issues on job popped up and he would threaten to throw me out of the house every now and then. Within one month of our marriage my parents were told to either ask me to leave job or take me away. I was mentally depressed and my mother asked my husband to drop me home. She thought when he will come there they will sort out problems but when we reached my place he didn’t agree to come home and just left me on the road. My family members and relatives tried talking to his family but they were very strong on their decision. And mainly it was his mother and sister who took decision for him. They never tried contacting my family initially thinking that we will eventually come begging to them which we didn’t. So finally one fine morning he called up and asked to solve the matter. But by that time I was not ready to go back. I got transferred back to where I was working before and continued there for the next 10 months. During that time my family was under pressure to send me back whatever the outcome may be. And so when he tried to compromise I was asked to go back and try to solve out things. So I left job and came back to his place. Now let me clear that earlier during that one month stay we hardly had any sex and even after I came back it was never satisfying. He wanted it just for his satisfaction. He never asked what my need was whether physically or regarding anything food, clothing or any thing. And always expected me to work at home. His mother would never do any thing and since I would finish up my task fast he thinks it is all done by his mother and she always keeps that impression in his mind that she always works and I sit idle. And he is such an egoistic person that he will never even take a glass of water himself. Now I was working hard to improve the relation and in between I felt that I was succeeding in it. He started showing me some compassion although not fully. One day he confided in me that before marriage he had an affair and he loved that girl very much. I learnt later that she got married only 5 months after our marriage. That was the time when I was at my maternal home. I didn’t ask anything about it and asked him to forget that episode since she was his past and I am his present. Now during these days I would also like to tell u that I used to visit a profile in orkut who approached me at the time of my break up with my husband. Now during that time itself I felt strongly that it is him although nowhere it was mentioned about his place or identity. Later I created a fake profile and established friendship and indeed the person gave me his phone number and the number turned out to be my husband’s number. In that profile I had seen him contacting many girls of indecency. So I tried to attract him with my offline messages and desired his wish to see me in real n have sex with me. That hurt me a lot since I knew he was cheating me although he didn’t know that this profile owner is in real his wife. I kept on messaging him without his knowledge through orkut. One fine day I told him that the person he used to message in orkut is me. At first he was in total disbelief and said tried saying it was created by his friend and his friend uses it. But then later admitted to it. He said he will never do those kinds of things again. Also I have noticed he was greatly interested in porn. Sometimes I would agree to watch films with him but tried telling him that real life is different and that we should try to improve it. He would keep on saying he is satisfied and likes the way it was. One fine day he said that he had created another profile in orkut under the name couples for friendship and that someone has contacted him. He said that the couple wanted to meet. I just said ok to see which level he takes it to. But to my surprise he agreed to meet that person and also wanted me to sleep with that guy so that he can sleep with the gal. In other words wife swapping. I didn’t agree. Then again after some days he came up with another couple and this time on some other pretext he took me and we met them. I didn’t agree to it. Again we met another couple. Then somehow after serious fights in between he stopped it. I don’t know but at least he doesn’t show interest in it. This was also because once he beat me up very badly while having an argument and for telling his mom not to interfere between us. So at that time I told his mom what he used to do. Of course, she never believed and always had the opinion that her son was the best. Now I am very worried. I don’t know what to do. These days he is showering very much love for me. He wants me to get pregnant and some how I have a strong feeling that he wants sex only to make me pregnant. We had visited gynec recently n I told her my story. She was first of the opinion that I should have baby and may be after the child’s arrival he will change. But when she had a talk with my husband she had changed her opinion. She was telling my friend who was working in the same hospital that its better I don’t get pregnant and I come out of this relationship. The worst is that my mother and brother who last month got married, knows everything and they are helpless and asking me to continue this relationship thinking of social stigma. And even I am confused as these days he appears to be caring. But yes, his habit of making profiles and calling up girls whom he had met only once doesn’t seem to fade away. Since he knew I don’t like it, He has started telling lies and also deletes the numbers from his phone list. What should I do? I need help very badly.

He does not have love and respect for you. He is not trustworthy also. Give some more time to this relationship (as you feel that he appears to be caring) without getting pregnant. If his attitude does not improve then it is better to get out of this unfaithful and humiliating relationship.