I am 27 yrs. old and I am a Chartered Accountant but these days I am not working, although I used to do a job before marriage. We got married in June 2009. Ours was an arrange marriage. He is in a kind of job where he has to go abroad. Not after our marriage but before that from 2006 to 2009 he has been to various places as Malaysia, Netherlands, London, Paris etc. Here he had a colleague and he liked her a lot but she had a boyfriend who is a divorcee. My husband told me about the same before marriage and I decided that we will not let her topic come in our relationship as it was past. Now right from the second week of our marriage my husband had some infection around penis area and the skin was not going back. We got the medication and it got resolved after 1 month. The medication procedure involved some tests which revealed that he is diabetic which he was not 5 months earlier to our marriage as per him as he got the checkup done. Now the problem starts that I asked my husband before marriage that I should not find any material related to that girl in our house after marriage but one day I saw many of her photographs on his laptop which were saved in the folders with her name. If he would have tried to delete them by simply searching with his name on his laptop he could have easily found. From that day I got disturbed and we had a fight. I cried, and he said now onwards nothing will be there related to her. Few days earlier he told me that he kissed her on the occasion of Christmas in a way of greeting as foreigners do but not the other ladies who were wives or girlfriends of his colleagues as he didn’t knew them. I got even more disturbed. The underlying problem is that when we have sex not even once had he ejaculated inside my vagina. He has to do the same by his hands outside only as after in and out exercise of 5-10 minutes his penis comes to normal state and is not hard anymore. He is used to of seeing the porn material and doing it with his hands from his teenage and he use to do it in front of me after asking me. Even if we had sex for 2 min. before and I am not wearing cloths he has to take support of the porn videos or asks me to tell some stuff to him relating to anybody -be it me or anybody else and then he used to do the hand job himself and ejaculate. I have told him many times that I don’t like him doing all this in front of me. Now I have many queries :- 1)Is there a possibility that he had sex with that girl (foreigner)who is Chinese type very fair,very smooth as is seen in photographs) and that has set his expectations from me and so he does not concentrate on me. 2) Is there any abnormal problem in him? While doing sex he never moans but once we went to my home and there he mourned a lot and seemed very different. He went to a foreign country and bought chocolates for my bhabhi, t-shirt for my brother but nothing (not even the same chocolates) for me on his first foreign trip of 3 days after marriage. Does this show that he is not interested in me? Just to facilitate you in analyzing the situation I am a 5feet 5 inch slim girl with wheatish complexion and a photogenic face. I am not fair but everybody around and everywhere and he himself says that I am very beautiful and that it’s his luck that he got me. He is, both obese but looks cute, is very understanding and gels well with people. Even my own friends like him more than myself. Doctor I am in a very pathetic state of mind. Please help me.

It is difficult to tell whether he had sex with that girl. However, your bond seems to be weak as he didn’t care to buy anything even in first week of marriage! He is likely to be suffering from delayed or retarded ejaculation as he is not ejaculating during intercourse and has to do it with hand under erotic stimulation. This problem has many reasons, you should consult psychiatrist for further analysis and treatment.