Hi Doctor. I am writing to you the 2nd time. The first time when you gave me suggestion it really worked out. Let me tell you my problem. I got divorced 2years ago. Post which one of my friend has proposed me and this happened last December. He is 35years old, and has his own business. It’s a distant relationship. He stays in south India, (I wouldn’t like to mention the name of the place) and I’m from Hyderabad. Initially we happened to talk over the phone and he proposed me over the phone. I thought he is taking advantage of my situation so I didn’t respond to his proposal and said that we will be good friends. He continued to do so. He requested to meet him once, and after several attempts of him, I decided to meet him. We decided to meet in a different place and not in his or my city. I was very head strong and had lot of attitude, I projected this attitude so that he shouldn’t take advantage of things. He again proposed me and said we will marry. We were on holiday for 5days, but we were in different rooms. On the day before leaving he said that he is okay me being divorcee, and will get married after a year. I felt some how this guy his hones and continued my relationship. No doubt he is very caring and loving. He is very practical. He has to go against his family to get married to me. Because of me he left his father’s business, (because he wouldn’t agree to this proposal) and started his own business. He loves me a lot no doubt about it. He is very practical; he doesn’t believe in giving false promises or false hopes and never tried to impress me. He is what he is and I’m happy about it. But my only problem is sometimes he deviates from me. What I mean is sometimes he just doesn’t give me time. He only calls me in the morning before leaving the office and after coming home. I know he is busy, I understand that, but what I tell him is at least take out little time to talk to me. When I say this he gets angry. He usually closes office by 8.30 and then goes out with his friends and comes home by 10.30 and he spends his time with me. During this time, I feel why doesn’t he come home strait and give me time. When I say this he gets angry. He says why don’t you understand this is how I’m and don’t try to change me. I am not trying to changing him. My feeling is why he doesn’t feel to come home and talk to me. I feel whole day I wait for him and even after closing the office he still doesn’t feel like talking to me. Everyday we argue on the same and he says why you argue so much, why can’t you talk with love for the little time we get. One such incident happened this Sunday, where he called me spoke to me for 30minutes, and then went out for wedding and later went out with friends. He said he will come by 4.30 and then talk to me. I got irritated; I said why you don’t feel like talking to me. He states talking doesn’t mean loving a person. But I am unable to take this attitude of him. Sometimes I feel I should break up, but when I sit and peacefully think he is right. But I am unable to convince myself for this. He says from next year I will be with you, and then all the time will be yours. (Since his family wouldn’t agree for the wedding, he will come out of his family) What shall I do please suggest? Also help me how to communicate with him and convince him to give time to me as well.

Stop nagging and complaining. It will further worsen the situation. On the contrary enjoy talking to him whenever both of you get the time. You and your talks should be so interesting that he will automatically start looking forward to talk to you.