Probably your very early indulgence (2 months in first relation and 3 meetings in second relation) in activities like kissing, hugging etc might have given your wrong impression on them. They might have judged you as fast girl. No male would prefer fast girl as life partner, but enjoy making her their girlfriend.
Why you should feel that you are bad girl when the fact is, you always wanted to go for sustained relation and they took you for a ride.
If you really love him then leave him alone, stop running after him. Let him realize your worth, if he does he will be back otherwise he was never yours.