Hello, sir I lost my mother 7 years back from then my friends got very close to me in which two of them were girls and rest 8 boys of my same class, school and tuition. Later I always used to have clashes with my fatter about friends. He had sexual relations with our relative I disagreed his relation and due to some of these clashes we used 2 fight regularly. Among my friends, Varma was my best friend. He loved our juniors knowingly I loved him but I never expressed about my love. My father died with lung infection when I was in 2nd inters. The girl whom Varma loved rejected him in our 10th it self and then he himself got closed to me and he proposed me in our 1st year. The next year (2005) I lost my father among all my friends only Varma took me to his house and looked after me. Till now we led a soft going life with small clashes. In 2007 one day I found him talking to his old lover who rejected him (Sirisha) and asked him, he said after a long time I have seen her and she came and talked to me so I even talked 2 her. I took it lightly and forgot it. Later I again found him chatting with her I fought with him and hurt my self, seeing me in blood even then he left me and went away after some days he said sorry and stayed with me. One day he told me to get ready for going out don’t know what happened to him he left me and went away I waited for him till afternoon and I found him going out with his friend I called him on his number and found switched off. I called his friend and he lied me that he did not met Varma. I did not understand why he lied to me. I waited for 2 more hours and called his friend again and cried near him then he said he is with sirisha in room he even said me 2 go there with the other friend who knows the room. His friend took me to room and I found both Varma and sirisha in the room. I took Varma on to the terrace and slapped him that why he proposed me and why he is doing all this .He said sorry and will never repeat this again he asked her to go and then we both fought till night and then went home on his word that he will never meet her. Later in the year ending I went to his relatives house along with his family .He had a habit of drinking and smoking from before. His parents didn’t know that he said he is going to some other relative’s house and went away. Next morning he came to the house where we were, I was playing with his cell and found messages in the inbox and in the outbox that was been chatted with some other girl .I asked him who she was he answered me she was his personal and he didn’t want to tell me .I got hurt and fought with him and for four days .I even did not eat food still he did not care for me. I asked him why he didn’t for me though I was not eating food. I asked him whether he wants me or her, he said she is like her sister and he did not chat with her, his cousin chatted with her, then if she is really like your sister then why are you saying you won’t leave her and getting ready to leave me and went away. After two days he came to me saying he will never talk with her. From then we used to fight because he used to drink. Now a days again he started having some personal phones he goes out saying he had some work when ever I call him, his phone would be engaged. After seeing my number in call waiting he immediately switches off his cell and again after some time he will be on his cell and the same process repeats and switches off his cell. I am getting mad why he is acting like this if. I ask him he, he says ‘I was doubting him’ .Am I wrongly reacting How should I understand him. When he is near to me he says he is very lucky to have me as his girl friend saying I support him well, I understand him well though he did wrong, even he says his friends about me in a very good manner. They all even respect me but when ever he drinks he goes away from me saying he don’t want to be with me. How should I understand him. He said all his friends and some of his relatives that he is going to marry me. But if he drinks he moves away from me what should I do? I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH. Suggest me some thing. How should I change him to lead a happy life?

I think your dependency needs keeps you in this relationship in spite of his repeated cheating. Try to overcome this and be more assertive so that he can stop taking you for granted which is the root cause of his attitude.