Dear Doctor, Let me first brief you about my past, then my family. Professionally am doing very well but my personal life has always never been so good. I hail from a middleclass family from Mumbai wherein time and money are given lot of Importance. I had got married in Oct 2002. however it got ended very fast as the girl changed her behavior immediately after marriage and started giving me abusive language for just one question she was checking her SMs and I peeped thru it and she blasted..What are u peeping like a dog?? We got mutually separated thru nullification of marriage. It was very painful for me but I overcame it and got legal separation papers by mid 2003. Then I just focused on my job. Then came a girl in my life from a simple family. She had no parents, only a Grandma and a small brother. I thought life will be smooth going now but somehow she started avoiding me and my family and used to rarely visit our place despite her staying very nearby. Then I found out that she had started lying about her whereabouts so after consulting my family we had to call it quits. This happened in 2004. I had to face society and decided not think about marriage. I got better prospects professionally and did well in my profession. In July 2006 I started browsing matrimonial site and met a girl from Delhi. I shared everything with her and laid all facts and expressed my desire to get married and live a decent life. I just expressed that please I need transparency in a marital relationship and no back stabbing as I had enough of it. It took some time for her to convince her parents but finally we got married in Mumbai on 14th Dec 2006. Actually she came from a family where she was having lot of freedom. Going out with friends (males and Females), movies etc. I had specifically mentioned her before marriage that I will support you in your studies(CA Final) however will not encourage your male friends as she dint have any professional relationship with them. This was agreed before marriage. After marriage after visiting her parents place I was made to understand by her mom that please be strict with her as she is too outgoing a girl. Her close relative also had given me a hint that she is a very stubborn girl and does not listen to anybody. Till august we had couple of fights but I dint agree to everything that she had to say. As I have and impression that she has not seen the outside world and gets influenced by friends very fast. As I know that from last 10 years she appearing for her CA exams but unable to clear. As she goes to library for studying but then ends up going out either for shopping or a movie. As she is 30 now I tried hard to explain her that please start focusing on whatever you are doing. But she gets fed up, bored very fast. She needs different things all the time. This is the main reason she just got into a fight with me on a very petty matter on 13th Aug and then stopped talking to me. Then she created a whole scene in front of my family especially when she knew my mom was about to be hospitalized the previous night. She continued her behavior till her parents had to come and took her back to Delhi. She is appearing for her Nov exams however I feel she just wanted freedom. As she did mention that she is bored of seeing my parent’s faces and my face. She also mentioned that there are a lot of restrictions in our family. It’s been more than a month now but still no communication has come fro her or her parents. I really don’t understand her and what is she up to. I had enough heartbreak in my past; however I took this relationship very seriously. I know one thing very clearly that I have to be strict with her as on all the previous occasions I had made the first move and brought things under control, even by apologizing though I was not wrong. However this time I have decided not to bow down, but fight back. Please guide me.

It is really unfortunate that you had these heartbreaks and top of that got a life partner who seems to have some personality problem. From what ever you described about your wife, I guess that she is having cluster II personality (that is what we psychiatrist will call). They are outgoing, stubborn, attention seeking etc. (more features you may find on www.) It is difficult do deal with such personality. Never give up to wrong demands, never apologizes for right things; just for the sake of stopping an issue and never challenge them are the rules to deal with them.