Dear Doc, I have been married since last 10 months with my long-time girl friend from school days. We had a relationship since school and kept in touch in spite of being in different locations. Long distance relationship lasted for many years and then we finally decided to marry. I was reluctant to marry for another few years but finally gave up on her choice of getting married. Towards the marriage we started developing certain issues and things became a little uncomfortable. I took that just as a temporary feeling and still got married. Now simultaneously around this time of 6 months to 1 year prior to our marriage, I had a good relationship with another female. Which was clear to me as a friendship and I was committed to the person I decided to marry in spite of getting signs that she was very compatible to me and we just had a great feeling for each other and we knew each other since 3 years but the intensity got stronger months before marriage. However as explained, I kept the decision and got married to my long-time school girlfriend. Now after 10 months of marriage, I am discovering that all the problems and strains I had with my long-time school girlfriend turned wife have kept increasing. It seems we were good companions in school but things have moved on since then. I have become a different person and we do not connect on many issues, our choices in life are different, we give priority to different things and our liking for food, people, way of life, happiness are way to different. In the process I have got closer to my girlfriend whom I am very comfortable with. Our feelings match just perfect and we understand each other well and our choices in life complement each other very well. Although she is not in the same town, so I do not see her regularly but our communication is on phone and emails. We only meet once a few months. I am physically attracted to her of course but the mental connect is much stronger and the reason for liking. My wife knows about the strain in our relationship and that we are not happy with each other and the differences we have. She is not aware about my other relationship directly. But she is aware that I like this other girl and am keeping in touch. She does not approve of that and is certainly not happy about it either. She is very possessive and irrational at times about my female friends, just as she was before we got married. I am now at the cross roads to decide what’s next. Should I look at our futures and choose a path to separate us and go our own way. I am quite aware she being a female will have a challenge against her if I decide to separate. So what should be done in order to make sure that the next step I take is not another mistake or action in some pressure like the last time when I got married in spite of a low feeling and not being 100% ready. I look forward to some assistance.

Ten months, is too short time to call off just because you think that you are no more compatible. Friendship and marriage is different ball of game. You really need to give some time for an adjustment, surviving certain teething issues. Differences which you are highlighting now should have thought before you decided to get married. Just make sure that you have someone else on hand and that itself is not making your adjustment worse (by reducing your compromising attitude).