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Dr. Hansal Bhachech is a very popular author, columnist and psychiatrist of western India. His writings are simple, practical, reality oriented, to the point and witty.

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I am a 23 year old beautiful girl, recently engaged to a 30 year old looking man. I am unable to get any attachment with this guy. My marriage is due in October. What should I do?

If you feel that you can not connect with him then you have to rethink about your decision to get married to him. It is a question of whole life.

Respected sir, I have a problem and I need yr help. When I was in 10th std, I had a boy friend and we were together for 1 year. During that period we were physical but never had intercourse. I enjoyed and felt every bit of the physicality. After one year we broke up. I went ahead with my life did my 11th and 12th and then went to college in hostel. There I had many boy friends, not at one time but one after the other. I liked a guy had an affair then broke up for some reason, then met someone else liked him had an affair for some time then again broke up and so on. But I was always faithful and good in each relation. I was physical with all but never had sex with any. However, the problem is that I never felt anything with any of them. Never enjoyed the physicality, their touch and fondling. I just did for the sake of doing it, as a duty. Then I accidentally met my 1st boy friend of 10th std. we started going around again. Then I had sex with him proper intercourse. But I again did not feel and enjoyed anything. Is there a problem with me? It’s been 3 years now I have not had any relation. Now my parents are looking for a match for me. I’m scared what if I don’t feel anything with my husband and ruin my marriage. I belong to a small place and cannot go to any doctor. Please help and suggest. Thanking you

Male gets pleasure by simple act but female get enjoyment from emotions involved in the act.You did it mechanically, every time! You were not involved emotionally and that might be major reason behind your non-enjoyment. I wonder why you kept on doing it even though you were not enjoying?! (Were you just addicted to the act?!!) If your husband will be of your choice and if you will be able to develop strong emotional bond then I do not think there will be any problem.

Thank you so much for your timely help through e-consultation. Your e-consultation service is a blessing for people like us who stays away from our country and finding really tough to explain our problems to foreign doctors. Your suggestions were
Respected Dr. Bhachech
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