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Dr. Hansal Bhachech is a very popular author, columnist and psychiatrist of western India. His writings are simple, practical, reality oriented, to the point and witty.

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Hi, I m a 19yr old girl. I am doing my graduation. I have a boyfriend who is 23yr old. He is a responsible man, caring. Gives me all freedom. I want 2 stay committed to him. He got a job this month and has been posted far away. He remains quite busy nowadays. Before, we used to talk about sex and all. But we never had sex. Now he has no time. Very heavy schedule. He is free only on Sundays. We just talk about our wellbeing. My problem is, I’m getting attracted towards another guy (8yrs eldr).He knows that I have a boyfriend. Still he wants me to believe that enjoying each other’s body is not wrong among friends. He says devote ur mind for career, heart for love and body for enjoying. He says that he has slept with many girls bt not fucked them. So he thinks that he is still a virgin!!. He says things so clearly that I get impressed. I know I m getting attracted 2 him for sex. I know I m doing wrong. But I m unable to neither resist him, nor can I avoid him. I met him today for 1st time. I had gone with a friend. He tried to touch here and there. I tried 2 avoid him bt cud nt resist. Now he insists to meet me alone. I’m afraid. He assures that he won’t do anything that I don’t allow. But again never misses any chance of exciting me. And I know that I would allow. How can I control myself??I mean, I just don’t want to cheat my boyfriend. I m getting selfish for my pleasure….I know I am doing wrong but don’t know how to control. Please help!!

When you know that you are doing wrong then why you want to go for it and invite guilt for the future?! Your boy friend is remaining busy in newly started job can not be the reason for cheating him. Second gentle man seems to be flirt and fraud to me (devote ur mind for career, heart for love and body for enjoying!!). He has slept with many girls and provoking you for the same shows his character. He is seeing you as sexual object and surrendering to him is foolishness. You will surely regret this in future. Looking to his ideas about enjoyment, having multiple relations in past and always trying to excite you; you should never ever trust him to meet him alone. Stop talking to him, immediately break the relationship and never try to explain him that why you are doing this, if you want to come out of this.

Sir I am in love with one girl but she doesn’t like me. But we were good friends since 4 yrs. And now she is not responding to me. I am not able to sleep in nights and concentrate in work. My head aches daily. I am not able to forget her. Please suggest something.

Accept that she is not for you. Stop meeting or talking to her. If possible keep her away from your sight. Time will take care of the rest.

Thank you so much for your timely help through e-consultation. Your e-consultation service is a blessing for people like us who stays away from our country and finding really tough to explain our problems to foreign doctors. Your suggestions were
Respected Dr. Bhachech
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