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Dr. Hansal Bhachech is a very popular author, columnist and psychiatrist of western India. His writings are simple, practical, reality oriented, to the point and witty.

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Free Guidance

One is greater? Loved one or one who loved us. I love someone but he doesn’t and someone loves me but i don’t !

Love is about reciprocation. One, who doesn’t love you will not be able to reciprocate and you don’t love to other guy so you won’t be able to reciprocate. Therefore, any of these options will not work.
Theoretically, of course, one who loves you is important than other one.

i am 26 years old. last year i got married. condition 1 i do not love my wife because she is short in height. She is hardly 5 inch tall and i am 5.5’(love tall girl) but very cute and very much caring and loves me very much. when i went to see her for the first time along with my family i did not notice her height and i agreed to marry her. on the same day we got engaged. after some days i asked her to meet me alone(date). on the same day i realized that she is short in height and since then i have made up my mind that she is not the girl i was looking for. but i was late because our marriage was very close. Everything was planned and booked and also the matter of both family image in society. condition 2:- we got married but on the first night i also realized that she already had sex with someone before, after some days i also read an unusual msg from a guy on her whatsapp. condition 3: very critical. i have one elder brother he also got married 4 years ago. i started loving my bhabhi and my brother and my wife have doubts but not confirmed about my affair. I have done every thing with my bhabhi now i am scared about our family if it comes out our family will be destroyed. after my father passed away i am only responsible of our family because my Brother lives in dubai. i along with my bhabhi ,wife, mom & younger sis are living together condition 4:- if i talk to my wife, bhabhi will become angry. if i talk to my bhabhi, wife will become angry. i don,t understand what to do. i know i am wicked and bastard broke my brother trust. i want to die but cant because ther is nobody to take care of my family. please sir do let me know the solution of this situation. looking forward to have your reply soon.

Let us not get into who does what and why because that requires deep analysis. If you want to put an end to it you have to take your Bhabhi in to confidence. Talk to your Bhabhi about what both of you are heading to and explain that it’s time to behave sensibly for both of you. Self control over your behaviour is a key here. Try to accept your wife, spend quality time with her to create more intimacy. Prepare your Bhabhi to accept this by discussing consequences of reacting to your intimacy with your wife.

Thank you so much for your timely help through e-consultation. Your e-consultation service is a blessing for people like us who stays away from our country and finding really tough to explain our problems to foreign doctors. Your suggestions were
Respected Dr. Bhachech
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