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Dr. Hansal Bhachech is a very popular author, columnist and psychiatrist of western India. His writings are simple, practical, reality oriented, to the point and witty.

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During sex, my wife shares her premarital sex experiences when she is aroused. During sex, I also enjoy those things. However, after sex those things hurt me a lot.

Erotic talks during sex are normal, in fact desirable to increase sexual pleasure. Talking about your own sexual experiences with someone else may give you pleasure during the act but later on it may be traumatic and damaging self-respect of both partners. You should decide to stop talking about your personal past experiences and may continue talking about non-personal erotic imagination or fantasies.   

Hi, I am guy and attracted to my aunty who is 15 years elder to me. I won’t say attracted but I am madly in love with her. I just can’t stay without her and want to marry her, she is married and having a kid also. I want to take care of her in every possible way and this is not from now but from last 14 yrs right now I am 30.Please help me as I think I will go insane otherwise in few months. I can’t stay without this lady and I sometimes feel she also loves me but not as her husband. Should I propose her through some gifts? I want to marry her and have kids with her…I know she is not enjoying her sex life from past 8-10 yrs, I think she must be also feeling the urge of it. Can you tell me how should I go ahead? Her husband is least bothered of her… I want to marry her as soon as possible so that I can give her my kid…also that is the reason I have rejected my entire marriage proposal but did not have guts to tell her till now that I love her. I really love her. She also has got feeling for me but I think she is afraid of telling me. I am in Mumbai in India. Should I take the initiative of taking her out for some adult movie and try to kiss her when she is hot or should I bring her something she likes. I think I am sexually attracted towards her. Is it possible that if I love her once I will then stop loving her; I mean to say if I sleep with her once I will stop thinking about her and then I can concentrate on other things? I masturbate around 3 times day thinking about her. I don’t know but I really feel I love her and want to marry her.

This seems to be your obsession for her. I think you are confusing your sexual attraction with love and that too one sided! She is not happy with her husband (that’s what you think, has she ever told you that?) does not mean that she is ready for you! If you really love her then how can you think of taking her to adult movie, excite her through that and then kiss her?! WEIRD!! If you are 30 right now then she must be 45. At this stage her priority can not be sex and she can not give birth to baby. I think this is sufficient to make you understand that take professional help to come out of this and get yourself treated. Yes I mean it, God bless you.

Thank you so much for your timely help through e-consultation. Your e-consultation service is a blessing for people like us who stays away from our country and finding really tough to explain our problems to foreign doctors. Your suggestions were
Respected Dr. Bhachech
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