i want to share my relationship problem which i am going thru pls help me to take a right decision. I am a 27 yr old man, 3 yrs back i use to date my Girl she was 21yrs that time. we stay in same city, i became pretty close to her emotionally and somewhat physically but no sexual relation, we liked each other and decided to get married in future, i was introduced to her family as a good friend as we thought when the right time comes we will let our parents know about it. but after a year into relationship she ditched me because she found someone who she felt was much better and loves her more than me. she found him as a chat friend and it was a long distance relationship as that boy was from another city. his age that time was also 21yrs. when he came down to meet her, she introduced him to her family. Now she is still in to this relationship till date. after she ditched me it was very hard to get over her thoughts from my mind as i had planned my future with her, but i tried to move on with my life and tried to isolate myself from any contact with her. but i use to think about her a lot and missed her a lot. Recently 8 months back again i came in contact with her and we started communicating thru phone calls. she started calling me 2-3 times a week. then i came to know her relation of 3 yrs with that boy who is from another city is not going good. she keeps crying at nights because he is not treating her good like ignoring her and talking rudely. she started sharing her relationship problems to me. i use to listen to her as i didnt wanted to hurt her and wanted to support her when she was feeling so much down in life. i became a good friend of her in this 8 months. everyday listening to her crying and her frustration i suggested her to leave that boy and do arrange marraige according to her parents choice. then she told me she doesnot want to marry any one because she got very close to that boy physically and she even had done abortion. which nobody knows in her family or her friends but she told me one night about this. she told me she wants to comeout of this relation but she cannot because evrybody in her family will question her why she again ditched him. but this time its the boys fault. he used her. problem is i still feel i love her a lot and i am not able to see her go thru all this problems. should i ask her to consider marrying me? so that i can give her all happiness in life. i am unable to decide anything. my heart says to tell her my feelings and my mind says no i should not get into all this and make things more complicated. and i am also not able to digest the fact about her abortion. this has disturb me a lot please help me decide what should be my next step? should i back out of all this or get in to it to help the girl i love.

I understand that you loved her truly but at present, I think; it’s not your love but mercy on her situation is taking over. You should remember that she has dumped you once without considering your feelings and then after left you alone to fight your emotional set back. You are not able to digest the fact that she got pregnant and aborted; this can also cause emotional distress in long run. So it is wise step to consider back out of all this. You may do it gradually but surely. otherwise, you will be trapped in emotional problem, which can bother you through out your life. I might sound radical but I always believe that some decision require true emotional insight.